Copyright © 2018
THE ENLIGHTENED by Cassandra Robbins
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or scanned in any manner without written permission of the author, except in the need of quotes for reviews only.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, and establishments are the product of the author’s imagination or are used to provide authenticity and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Edited: Nikki Busch Editing
Cover design: Michele Catalano Creative
Formatting: Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Epilogue
Connect with Cassandra Robbins
Also by Cassandra Robbins
Acknowledgements
About the Author
for·give
1. To give up resentment against or stop wanting to punish someone for an offense.
We loved with a love that was more than love.
—Edgar Allan Poe
TESS
Present day – twenty-five years old
New York, NY
I clutch Lilly and Luke tightly to me, trying not to scare them. He is coming for us. I need to run, but I don’t move. Instead I face my enemy head-on. No longer shall I bend to him, regardless of what I’ve done. My penance is not his to dole out.
“Tess, let me have Luke and Lilly.” Brance’s warm touch is on my shoulder as he simultaneously attempts to pry one of my children from my arms. My fist tightens as Reed approaches. My children squirm, I’m sure because I’m holding them so tightly.
Danger! It’s like a bright neon light blinking in my brain.
“Tess,” Brance says with a hiss, “let me have the twins.”
Strangely the only thing I notice is how dark the sky is getting as if a storm is coming. The loud noises of the airport sound slightly muted and my brain tries to catch up to the scene that’s unfolding. He’s wearing a charcoal suit, and my heart immediately flutters. Not because of love. That died years ago. The truth is I’m terrified of the man who is almost standing in front of me.
“I’m right here, Tess. Nothing is going to happen.” Jax’s calm voice goes in one ear and out the other. Fucking traitor!
“Mommy, too tight!” My son wiggles. I can’t respond because he’s here.
There are times in our lives we look back on and wonder why we did what we did. If only we’d said or done that moment differently. I refuse for this moment to be that. Reed wants a fight, then a fight he will have.
Lifting my chin, I’m blinded for a moment at the sun peeking around a dark cloud. Thankfully Brance is behind me. His gentle arm holds me up. Reed is upon me. I wait for his rage. After all, I’ve made him my monster, the terror in my head. Every single noise has vanished as I lock eyes with his. My mind starts to scramble as I shift my weight from one hip to the other.
And all he does is stare. What’s he waiting for? The thought occurs to me that maybe he doesn’t know. But only an idiot would not be able to tell that these two children are from his seed. Reed might be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them.
“Tess…”
My eyes snap to his turquoise gaze. I take a step back, the reality of what I’ve done all over his face. He stands and stares at Luke and Lilly. His eyes travel from my face to theirs. It’s tortured and heart-wrenching. I hear a deep sob, not loud, but I hear it. And that is worse than any amount of rage he could throw at me.
“You wouldn’t, right?” His voice cracks. Turquoise eyes with ridiculous long black lashes swim with tears. I watch as he reaches out to touch Lilly’s curly hair.
“Jesus, Tess.”
I don’t want to look at him but can’t seem not to. It’s morbid, like when there’s a car accident and you try your hardest to look away but it’s impossible. Pain oozes out of him, and soon, it will morph into hatred. I want it. Better his anger than his agony.
“I have no words for you right now.”
Gutted, I stare like a deer caught in the headlights. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. He’s not behaving like the person I used to know. This man is different; it’s all over his very presence.
Regret and shame hit me like a bullet has pierced me. All I can do is give him a moment to take this in. I owe him that. As he peruses our children, his eyes seem frantic, absorbing every detail about them. Amazingly both of them are calm, not at all disturbed by his presence.
“Mommy? Why does he look like Uncle Jax?” Lilly chirps.
His breath stutters and still I can’t seem to form words past the lump in my throat.
I try to swallow. “We’ll talk about this later, okay, Bunny?” It comes out raspy and unnatural.
Reed’s eyes jerk to mine and narrow, and for a split second, he seems ready to unleash his anger. Give me what I want so that the albatross around my neck can finally break free.
“I need them to know” is all he says. His deep voice fills the tarmac, almost making it cave in on me.
I blink at him. “Of course, but not now.” I raise my chin in defiance.
We stare at each other in silent battle. My eyes roam his face and his do the same. The faint lines around his eyes are new. He looks different, harder. Handsome doesn’t do him justice anymore. He’s now achieved a level of sex appeal, a magnetism that draws you in.
His icy eyes have a darkness, or maybe he’s sad. It makes me feel cold and wary since I have never seen it before. There is a maturity in his presence that surpasses his twenty-five years. His hair is short, my favorite dark curls gone.
“Tell them, Tess. I want to hear it.” His voice is still irritatingly demanding.
I glance around as I lick my glossed-up lips, searching for mercy from one of the people I’ve lowered to my level.
Jax has his back to us, as if the scene that is unfolding has become too painful for him to witness.
Brance, my dearest most loyal friend has tears cascading down his chiseled cheeks.
Agony! It surrounds us, cocooning us in these dirty lies we live. My children are the only ones who seem unaffected, still blessed with innocent light that I will do anything to protect.
Luke looks at Reed then grabs ahold of my neck tighter as he whispers, “Twell us, Mommy.”
He says it in such a sweet voice, his yummy breath caressing my hot cheeks as if he already knows.
“Luke and Lilly meet your father!” My voice is low and I cringe at how pathetic that came out. Instead of being quiet, I continue to make it worse by saying, “He’s been working out of the country and—”
Reed interrupts me. “I have been waiting for this moment my whole life. You two are my biggest gift. Quite frankly, you’re my sal
vation.” He levels his harsh stare at me. “Now you can come clean,” he sneers. “Tell me.” I jump slightly and Lilly looks at me.
His accusatory stare lasers into me. The guilt that’s been eating a hole in my stomach tightens. His beautiful jaw is clenched so tight I fixate on it, knowing it must hurt. But I hurt more. I sniff back any remorse. All the lonely, scary months I waited for him to return. I waited every day until slowly my love turned to hate.
I know he expects the old Tess, much like I thought I would get the old Reed. But today is full of confessions and enlightenment.
“They’re yours.” The words are void of emotion as if I’m ordering from a bland menu.
He lets out a hiss. “Thank you.” The bitterness is unmistakable.
I swallow as if I’ve signed my own death warrant, my mind trying to catch up while he walks away. I need to pull myself together. My first priority is my children. Though their sweet faces are scrunched in confusion, they remain quiet as if they know I’m doomed.
I smile reassuringly, refusing for them to be scared. Reed is a lot of things, but I’m sure he is not going to murder me. At least not in front of them. Shaking my head at my dramatics, I turn to face Brance. “Are you okay?” His chocolate eyes are swimming with tears that continue to spill down his face.
“I think seeing that has aged me ten years.” He puffs out some air, his tears falling to the hard concrete.
Glancing down at the little wet dots at his feet, I acknowledge they should be at my feet, from my eyes. But mine are dry, sore, and destroyed.
“It’s over, Pretty Girl,” he chokes out, his voice so lovingly gentle. Like a robot, I nod because I know he doesn’t believe it but is trying to be supportive.
This moment, this glaring truth has bound me to Reed forever. I will never be free. My stomach acid stings and burns its way up my throat like a fire burning freely.
Luke holds his chubby hands out to Brance. “Downt cwy, Uncie Bwance.”
Brance wipes his hands up and down his face. “All right, Buddy, I won’t cry.”
“Tess?” I flinch at Jax’s hard voice. “You should let Brance take Lilly and Luke to the hotel. I’m sure you and Reed need to talk privately,” he says without looking at me.
Traitor! I want to scream, but instead, I look at my children, both of them squirming like little worms to get down. In a daze, I let them slowly slide their bodies down to the floor. They instantly start running from one side to the other, laughing at the echo it causes.
“You two be careful.” I look around, the smell of rain not far off.
A black Audi SUV pulls up and stops. The driver steps out to open the door.
“Lilly and Luke, come here, guys.” Waving them over, I glance to where Reed stands silently judging me.
My hands straighten Luke’s backpack. “Okay, cuties, I’m going to talk to Reed… I’m going to talk to… him.” Their big green eyes look confused. “I need you two to go with Uncle Brance, and Mommy will be back later.” I hate that I sound choked up.
“Okay, Mommy,” they chant.
“Is Daddy coming home with us?” Lilly asks.
My heart drops, right when I thought they didn’t care or maybe were still too young to understand it. I ignore the question and grab them both. Hugging one, I smother kisses on the other’s chubby cheeks then trade to do the same to the other. They both giggle and squeal.
“Is he, Mommy? Lilly presses like she really wants him. My eyes roam her stunning face, and I bite my lip before I say something confusing, like the truth. She is a complete combination of Reed and me. Luke, on the other hand, is Reed’s clone. Besides his green eyes, there is no question who his father is.
“No, Lilly, your father is not coming home with your mother!” Brance speaks for me. “Now let’s go, cookie.”
The twins instantly start arguing with him as they get put into the Bentley and wave enthusiastically at me. Brance buckles them into their car seats. I feel lightheaded—not enough food and sleep will do that to you. I throw kisses at them and my whole body starts to relax. The Bentley pulls slowly out of the private terminal and out of sight. My children are safe with Brance.
Jax is waiting for me at the Audi. Pulling my purse close, I walk toward the black SUV. My life is about to change. But I’m not scared anymore. My secret is out and nothing he can do can hurt me. I hesitate a moment at the open door. Reed is inside—he has gone from my greatest love to my worst mistake. He’s tortured my psyche and ruined my childish belief in love at first sight and happiness. Everyone was right. No one finds their soul mate at eight. Slipping inside, I face my past.
REED
Past – twenty-one years old
Las Vegas, NV
I can’t see anything but a big black ball. I hope it’s only the sun blinding me. My feet throb, so I know I’m alive, and my rapid heartbeat vibrates down to my toes. Blinking, I try to get rid of the dots. I’m barefoot and confused. What the fuck? How can I have no recollection of my life the last couple days?
It seems to be morning and already hot as shit. I’m guessing I’m in the desert.
“Fuck me,” I groan, not fully processing that I’m lying on the hot cracked dirt. My feet are swollen, blistered, and cut. I pat my chest and try to sit up. My dirty T-shirt seems to have permanently glued itself to my chest.
Christ, I’m thirsty. The stale taste of tequila and tobacco haunts my dry, thick tongue. I try to look around, but it’s a chore to lift my hand to shade my eyes.
There’s a red truck parked around a hundred feet away. It’s like a bad dream, the kind you try to forget but it stays in the back of your mind nagging you. I close my eyes as the tsunami of my memory returns. And my whole shitty life crushes me.
Thankfully, I’m already down; otherwise, it would have brought me to my knees. The pain is so piercing, I instinctually grab at my chest, wincing at the tenderness. Blood is keeping the T-shirt glued to my body, I realize. I rip at the T-shirt and it peels off me making a weird sucking noise as I lift it off. I sigh. The fresh air feels good for about a minute. I touch rather than look at my chest. It’s bleeding, and with the sun beating down on me, a wave of nausea takes hold. I turn my head and retch. Like a movie that’s been edited on fast-forward, I remember. I cut my heart to shreds trying to extinguish Tess from it.
My tattoo, our life, our baby.
Our baby.
“Jesus stop.” I reach for my head as I squeeze. The buzz of flies makes me reach for my chest still trying to protect my tattoo. I look down and see that the flies are real and they seem to be all over me. My hand shakes as I try to flick them away. The wetness of my blood seeps through my fingers, trickling all the way down my abdomen, and I shiver.
Lying back, I smile. I didn’t rid myself of my tattoo. All I did was scar me. My eyes close against the sweltering sun and I give in. She’s broken me much like I’ve broken her… like waves hitting the rocks. As I drift off, I hear a voice.
“Hey, brother? You okay, man?” Again, I blink and try to shield my eyes. A tall man approaches me.
“Here.” He squats down and hands me an open bottle of water.
“How did we end up out here?” I test my voice. It sounds like I took a handful of the desert dirt and swallowed it. Guzzling the water, I toss the plastic bottle in the dirt and it rolls into some dry brush. The man gets up, crunches it, and puts it in his back pocket.
“Rented the truck, picked up the tequila, and made our way out here.” I can only see his profile.
“We should head into town. Get a hotel. You need to have yourself checked out by a doctor. I’m all for abusing my liver, but we might have to cut your feet off if they swell any larger.”
I sit up and though I try to stay focused on my throbbing feet, my mind spins back to Manhattan…
I left Tess weeping on the floor of our penthouse. Pregnant and wanting to abort. Abort! Abort! That’s all I could hear. I died that day, and what was left was a bloody, shirtless, shoeless man wan
dering the streets until it got dark. Like a zombie, I flagged a cab. David picked me up. David was the cab driver. He is a poet, a writer of fucked-up life stories. No wonder we get along so well. He literally gave me the shirt off his back. Weeping and bleeding inside and out, I had him drive around the city for hours.
“Reed, man, seriously, we need to get the fuck out of this hot sun and find you a doctor.”
I zero in on David. “I need a phone. Can I borrow your phone?” He looks at me. His face blocks the sun. A clear picture of him comes into focus. He has blond hair, but weird gray eyes. I suppose they are blue, but so light they look gray. Dark stubble from days of not shaving. I think he said he was from California? Although everything that’s happened since I left Tess is somewhat fuzzy.
“Christ, how long have we been out here?” I grunt as I try to stand.
“A couple days. My phone’s charging in the truck. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
I feel like I should thank him. Somehow, I think he saved my life. I’ve probably been living off tequila and chips. My skin pebbles with goose bumps as I sway.
“You need help?” His weird eyes open wide with concern.
Shaking my head, I say, “Nah, I like the pain.” I limp to the truck, my feet feeling like I’m walking on broken shards of glass.
“We left Manhattan three days ago?” I’m trying to piece it all together. David doesn’t elaborate, and why bother? I remember enough.
“You ever been to Las Vegas, man?”
“Nah, I’m just a poet. I’m from California. Moved to New York to write and get away from shit. That’s as far as I’ve gotten.”
“Today is your lucky day. I’ll pay for your trip if you want to go. Actually I’ll pay for everything.” I’m shaking. “I can’t be alone, man. Everyone I know loves her.”
I open the Dodge Ram’s door and barely make it into the seat. My left foot is bleeding.
“Christ.” Taking the dirty shirt I was wearing, I wrap it up. I’m freezing, which is crazy since it’s hot out.
“Dude, you’re shaking.” David’s eyes are wide as they dart from my feet to my chest.
The Enlightened (Entitled Book 2) Page 1