by Mia Ford
“Serena?” I stare at her in shock, wondering what the hell is going on. The funny thing is I have been so wrapped up in her that I forgot we had new staff members starting today for the expansion, and even when I found out in the morning, I didn't even consider that we would cross paths in office. I knew that Serena was starting somewhere new, but it would be far too much of a coincidence for her to be here...and that's exactly what's happening. “Erm, what are you...?” I cough awkwardly, acutely aware of all the eyes up on me. “What... erm...”
No, I can't get into this discussion in front of everyone else, that would be incredibly unprofessional. I never mix business and pleasure and I never thought that I would. I guess this is what comes from trying to keep my identity a secret. If I had been more honest with Serena then we wouldn't be in this mess right now. I need to find a way to solve this without making it obvious what I'm doing. Alisha has eyes like a hawk, I don’t want her to pick up on this.
“Will you come with me please, Serena? I need to have a word with you in my office.”
The whole room falls into silence. No one knows what to make of what's going on. Well, I might have just made this much more awkward for Serena because people are bound to want to know what's going on here and me and her can't carry on without a conversation. No chance in hell. I’m probably bright white with shock, feeling totally out of control.
“Er... yes, sir.” She rises to her feet with a bright redness blushing across her face. I feel bad, knowing that this is undoubtedly the worst first work day of her life, but I don't know how else to address this mess. Me and Serena have been spending a lot of time together, getting closer romantically, assuming that we are just next door neighbors just to find out that I am her boss and she is my employee. It doesn't get much messier than that. Without another word, I stalk from the room towards my office with my heart thundering in my throat. I don't even know what I'm going to say when we're alone, I don't know how Serena is going to react to me, this is all such a hot mess.
“So, boss?” Serena asks as she slowly closes the door behind her with a click. “Who would have thought it? I didn't realize that my big new scary boss was going to be Will... but then, I didn't know that you were Mr. William Brent, did I? This is all a bit... well, unexpected.” I think it’s a laugh that she tries to make. “It’s strange.”
“I forgot that we were hiring,” I tell her honestly, although it might not make much difference now. “I didn't even think about it to be honest. I just assumed... well, I don't know what I thought.” God, I’m such an idiot.
“I didn't even know that you owned a company. This is all very unexpected. Sorry, I already said that, didn’t I?”
I nod slowly. “I'm sorry. I realize now how stupid it was that I didn't share that with you.” I sigh as a sadness claims me. “I have no real reason why I wasn’t just honest and now I feel like a total fool...”
“It’s okay, I understand.” I try to meet her eyes but she isn’t looking at me. Pointedly so. “You probably come across a lot of people who just want to get to know you because you’re some big wealthy business mogul. If I were you, I would be so used to hiding who I am that letting someone really in would feel a lot harder.”
I’m shocked. Serena understands me surprisingly well. It leaves me wondering if she has a lot that she’s keeping from me. Then again. I’m not exactly in the position where I can ask her about that right now.
“Yes, I guess that’s kinda true,” I reply truthfully. “But I should never have treated you like that. It isn’t right. I have known from the very first moment that I met you not to expect that kind of thing from you.”
“It’s okay.” For the first time since this conversation started, she smiles at me. A genuine smile which reaches her eyes as well as her lips, and I know that because she’s finally looking at me head on. “I get it. But we do find ourselves in a bit of a situation now, don’t we? Like, how is this going to work? Do you have to fire me now?”
I can’t believe that she has just suggested that, as if I would ever be so cruel. Plus, she opened up to me how much she needs this job and I can see the sheer terror dancing behind her eyes, letting me know that’s the last thing she wants to happen. I might not mix business and pleasure, because a man in my position never should, but I’m not going to get rid of her. We will just have to find a way to make it work for the both of us... somehow.
“Of course not,” I reassure her. “I would never do that. But you are right, we do need to work this out, don’t we? I don’t think that it would be the best idea for us to work together and sleep together with the rest of the work force knowing about it. I wouldn’t want people to call it a favoritism or things like that.”
She shudders hard. “No, I wouldn’t like that either. I don’t think that a good way for me to introduce myself to the work force is to be the woman who is sleeping with the boss. People will think that is how I want to get to the top!”
I let out a relieved laugh, glad that we are on the same page with that one. I do think it’s for the best, us at least keeping what’s happened between us to ourselves... but we also need to consider where things will go from here. It is bound to be a different dynamic now, knowing that I am her boss... her boss and also her man next door.
“Okay, so we should just carry on like we don’t know one another for now?” I check just to confirm.
“Right. And since you’re still cooking me dinner tonight...” She shoots me a playful wink, making me chuckle once more. “I will come to yours and we can discuss everything else. I guess this changes things a bit, doesn’t it?” She shrugs one shoulder in my direction. “At least, we need to have a talk about it.”
“I agree.” As Serena edges back towards my door to go back to her desk to return to work, my breath catches in my throat. All of a sudden, I don’t know what way that conversation will go and that scares me. I don’t want to lose Serena working for me because not only does she need this job, but I also know for a fact how much effort she put in to get this job and research the company so that she could be the best employee. I don’t think that I can lose her in anyway. I really do believe that she will have a lot to offer the company and that we can benefit from her...
But that being said, I don’t want to lose the relationship that we have shared either. I don’t like the confused look in her eyes as she moves backwards from me. I’m scared that she might be slipping through my fingers like grains of sand and there isn’t anything that I can do to keep hold of her, however hard I try. I want to reach out and grab her, but she’s already gone too far, out of reach, and there is absolutely nothing I can do.
No, I think to myself firmly as she finally slides through the door, waving at me as she goes, mouthing ‘goodbye’ as she vanishes from sight. No way, I won’t let that happen. I am not going to lose Serena. My fists ball up in determination in front of me. I need to find a way to make sure that she stays mine forever...
I can’t give up on her. She is the first person who has excited me in years, who has brought me back from the brink. I thought that I was destroyed when I lost Molly and the last few years have only confirmed that since I haven’t fallen for anyone else, but the hot red head who lives in the apartment next to mine has reinvigorated me and I am nowhere near ready to let that go. I’m sure that Serena isn’t either. We shouldn’t let something silly such as her working for me get in the way of that. The department that she is working in pretty much runs itself anyway. I don’t spend a lot of time there because I trust Alisha to have it under control. We don’t even need to see each other.
I lean back in my chair all smug, sure that Serena’s visit to my office will be the last time that we see one another today, or in the office at all. If that’s the case then it will be incredibly easy to still keep my personal and professional life separate. I will make sure that even if I am mixing business and pleasure, no one has to know about it. I will find that magical balance and things will be fine. Serena is worth putti
ng the effort in for.
Don’t mix business and pleasure. Keep my personal and private life separate. It’s the best way...
At least, that’s the assumption, but as the hours tick by and I find myself aimlessly wandering by Serena’s desk again, it really put Alisha in an uneasy place because she’s certain that I’m up to something or that she is being investigated for her work practices. I know that Serena is my addiction and I can’t keep away from her, however hard I try. I would like to think that this is something I will get used to over time, but I’m honestly not sure. I don’t even know how much work I have gotten done today. Pretty much nothing. I’ve been far too distracted for that.
Even constantly trying to remind me of the plan isn’t helping me. I am in a perfect mess. Every time I tell myself that I need to keep myself away from her at work, the giant magnetic force between us pulls me back once more. What is wrong with me?
“Oh God.” I finally make it back to my desk and slump my head in my hands. “What am I going to do?”
A surge of hopelessness bursts through me, striking me hard at the core. I can see that Serena gets stressed when she sees me, probably because she doesn’t like acting like we don’t know each other and hiding what we share, yet I have found myself heading over to her constantly. I am totally a useless person at acting. I have probably made a giant mess of everything. I dread now Serena coming around tonight and telling me that she can’t handle being with me because I haven’t left her alone all day. I will have no one to blame but myself.
I check the clock noting that I still have some time left before the end of the day, so I make a silent vow to myself to stay at my desk until then. I won’t give in to the temptation, I will just focus on what needs to be done. Maybe the space will give Serena some time to think before she breaks things off with me. I can only hope...
Chapter 9 – Serena
“So, what was that all about this morning?” Alisha asks me over lunch in the calmest tone of voice that she can manage. But I can still read between the lines, I know that she’s desperate to know what’s going on between me and Will…or not Will, I can’t really think of him like that. Now, he is Mr. William Brent, my big boss.
“It was paper work.” I just about remember the cover up that Will gave before and go with the same line. “I didn’t fill in a couple of my forms right and he wanted me to sort it out before I start properly.”
“Hmm, that’s weird.” Alisha’s mouth turns down into a telltale frown. “He doesn’t normally deal with things like that. That’s for the HR department. I just don’t know why he would have anything to do with it.”
I don’t have an answer for that so I just shrug, hoping that Alisha will let it go. Unfortunately, she is too fixated on what Will is up to, which suggests to me that his constant presence in our office isn’t a normal thing.
“I’m just worried that he’s keeping an eye on me.” She taps her chin thoughtfully. “Like, he has been hanging around all day long, checking in on me, looking at what I’m after, taking my new staff away…”
“I’m not a spy,” I toss my head back and laugh. “Just a poor girl trying to make it through her first day.”
I hope she buys it. I mean, I’m not a spy, but I am hiding a connection to Will that she doesn’t know about and I’m scared that my lie will shine through in the worst way. I don’t want anyone to get the worst impression of me, just because I’m not good at keeping things to myself. I should be really, since I have always kept my family situation to myself, but put on the spot about this, about something that I have been happy about… well, it’s hard.
And if me and Will are going to carry on dating and working together, it will only get worse, won’t it? The relationship will only grow and so will the lie. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it. I already feel like everyone can see through me and they know that I am doing something wrong.
“I really doubt Wi… Mr. Brent would need to keep an eye on you anyway,” I reassure Alisha. “I might have only been working for you for one afternoon, but it’s enough for me to see that you run your department really well. I’m sure everyone is going through the same thing and it’s more because there are lots of new employees. The expansion must be stressful for him, so…” God, is this working? I can’t quite tell. “Yeah, you’re doing great.”
Alisha nods slowly as she allows my words to sink in. I’m sure that I spot relief covering her face as she finally accepts that I might well be right with what I’m saying…thank goodness. I don’t want Alisha to feel bad because she really hasn’t done anything wrong. She has been so great with me, I wouldn’t know what to do without her.
“Yeah, maybe so. I suppose it is a big change. Thank you, Serena. You have stopped me freaking out.”
“Oh, well that’s okay.” A hot blush hits my face. “Any time. I have had a really great time learning with you…”
“Well, if that’s the case then it might be a good idea for you to get to know the team better, don’t you think? If you will be sticking around. And, you can only get to know people at work so much when you’re in the office, which is why we go out every Friday night. We try as many of us who can, each week, anyway. We would love for you to come along because then you can become one of our friends as well as someone we work with.” Alisha leans in closer as if she is sharing a secret that she only wants me to hear. “I think this is why we work so well. Because we do all get along.”
A warmth surges through me as I think about that possibility. Myself, with an actual group of friends! How wonderful would that be? That’s one of the things I’m still missing in my brand new, maybe not as perfect as I first thought, new life and I am more than keen to get on board with that idea. I have always wanted a circle of people.
“I would love that.” I grin from ear to ear. “Thank you, Alisha. That sounds like a lot of fun.”
“It’s always a good time. Although sometimes people go too far. Dan often drinks too much…”
As she launches into the tales of fun that her team has had on a night out, I get all buzzy and excitable. I manage to forget all the drama going on around me with Will and our little mess. I even manage to push my worry that my mom hasn’t bothered to call me yet to one side. This is going to be really good for me, I just know it. This night out is going to bring me much closer to people and it’s going to help me get even closer to discovering the real me. I’m already becoming her, learning who I am and what I like in life. Friends will only take that further.
I smile at Alisha with the hope that me and her are going to be the sort of friends who get incredibly close and even end us as best mates. I have always been jealous of people with that relationship and I’ve always wanted it for myself as well. Even if she is my direct line manager. Oh God, what is it with me and the bosses? I am a mess.
I pace up and down my apartment, wondering when the time will come for me to go to Will’s apartment. I can hear him in there, cooking for me, and there is a massive part of me that can’t wait to see him once more, and in a personal capacity where there is no more hiding, rather than the stress that I felt at work…
But I’m nervous as well. I can’t help but freak out because I’m scared that this is going to be the end for me and Will. I need the job, I can’t turn my back on it, and I really don’t feel like I can have both. In theory it’s a thrilling idea to keep up a relationship with my hot boss who lives next door to me, but I don’t know how it will work in reality. The more that I think about how it will work, the less I can see it happening with ease.
“Oh God, what are we going to do?” I groan desperately to myself. “This is going to be a nightmare.”
I want to cry. I really could weep and fall apart because it seems like everything really has been too good to be true. I thought that life was finally giving me some luck, but it seems like fate has made everything perfect for me just to whip the rug from underneath once more. Life has brought a shadow back for me and I don’t like it
at all.
I head back into my bedroom for about the fifth time to check on the outfit that I’m wearing, to make sure that it’s okay. I have a floaty black dress on, because I’m way too hot and stressed for trousers, and a cardigan. I want to remind him that I’m professional, I want to wow him with my work ethic and brains rather than any sexual appeal… I think. Of course, I want him to be attracted to me as well. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. I can’t help myself. I haven’t ever been looked at by anyone the way that Will stares at me. I’m so addicted to that…
But this time as I stare at my reflection, I don’t focus on my outfit, or my hair and makeup. Instead, I find myself looking at the wildness in my eyes, the worry hiding behind my gaze. I definitely feel like I am going to lose something tonight and I need to work out what it is. Do I follow my head or my heart? And honestly, do I even have a choice? If I don’t have the job then I don’t have anything. I will end up with nothing and no one. I shudder painfully at the idea of going back home and facing David again. My presence once more when he thinks that he is rid of me will only make him worse. That won’t be helping Mom at all. I can’t do that. It isn’t an option.
“No more holding off,” I tell myself with a firm nod. “It’s time to face this immediately.”
I grab my keys and make the short walk to the apartment next door, still not quite sure which way this is going to go. Everything will change, there is no way that I can walk away from Will’s apartment with everything as it is, but that doesn’t make me any clearer as to how this is going to play out. I just hope that it doesn’t get weird.
Knock, knock.
I bang on Will’s door quickly, before I can talk myself out of it, and shuffle from foot to foot as I wait for him to come to me. There is music playing inside his home, I can hear him singing along to it, why doesn’t Will seem to be plagued with the same sort of self-doubt that I am. Was he not as much into this as me? Is he not bothered about the whole thing? Or maybe he doesn’t see anything wrong with us working together in the day and sleeping together at night.