The sun streaming in catches on something laying in the center of her bed. With adrenaline causing my limbs to shake, I stumble over myself as I make my way to her bed, reaching for the shining object that caught the attention of the sun.
The master keys to Henry’s bar sit on top of a note addressed to me in Lizzy’s perfect handwriting. My fingers shake as they skate over my name, fearful of what I might find inside.
Remi,
He was your dad too. And he loved you like crazy. Never doubt that.
He’d want you to have it. Make it your own.
-Lizzy.
You know that feeling you get right before you blackout? When the world around you slows down to a point that you swear you can see the wings on hummingbird? When your breathing is so shallow that you wonder if you’re holding your breath?
Yeah. I’m there.
On the verge of a complete and total fucking breakdown.
“She’s not here, but I know where she’s going.”
Brody’s voice pulls at my consciousness seconds before I would have descended into murderous madness. I swivel on my heels, facing him, clutching the letter to my chest.
“What are you talking about?” I ask him, sounding damn near out of breath with the force it takes to stay rooted to the ground, rather than zipping out of here to go find Liz.
As an explanation, he hands me a letter, thankfully not one I’ve written before. I read through it, hanging on every word, wishing she was in front of me so that I could strangle her for her ever thinking I’d be okay with something like this. For not letting me help.
“Where’s Oaklynn?”
“She’s at my parent’s house. I told my mom what was going on that I might need her to take Oaklynn somewhere but that I needed to talk to you first.”
“Where can they take her that’s safe?”
“I have an idea that might sound insane, but will probably be the safest place in the city for her to be until this is all done.”
I throw my hands in the air, urging him to continue. We don’t have time to waste right now!
“I can call my attorney, Shane. He can pull some strings to get the cops to give Oaklynn a tour of a police precinct. She’s used to hearing about her mom taking out the bad guys. It might be fun for her if we let her spend the day with other people that do too. With that many guns and badges around, nothing will happen to her. No one will be stupid enough to try and take her from a building full of cops.”
I chew on my lips as I mull that suggestion over, looking for any holes in the plan that could put Oaklynn at risk.
“As long as Shane knows not to let her out of his sight. If she needs to go to the bathroom, he stands outside the door and a female officer goes in with her and your mom. I’m serious Brody. I want eyes on her at all times.”
He nods his head, taking out his phone to call Shane, and then his mom, filling them in on the plan.
I’ve got to admit, after going so long without trusting anyone besides Liz or Maggie, it feels… I don’t know, wrong, trusting anyone else with our daughter.
While Brody makes his phone calls, I use that time getting into the black dress Liz picked out for me to wear to the funeral. I was planning on wearing a pair of black heels that Liz begged me to wear, but knowing I’ll be kicking ass before the eulogy means I’m lacing up my boots instead.
No wonder I can’t get Oaklynn to wear a dress.
Strapping on my thigh holster helps me breathe a little easier, the familiar weight helping to make me feel like I have some semblance of control or power over the situation at hand.
Brody’s fingers slip underneath my chin, bringing my face up toward his.
“Hey, we’ve been through worse and lived to tell the tale. It’s all of us against one rogue fed. We’ll keep Liz and Oaklynn safe, okay?”
I nod my head, willing his words to be true.
If I can survive my uncle, this should be a cakewalk, right?
Wrong. They were coming after you last time. This time they’re coming for Oaklynn.
“Let’s go. We need to save Liz’s life so that I can kill her myself once this is all said and done.”
Brody laughs as I take off down the hallway, racing towards the front door. He may think that I’m joking but there’s a very real part of me that wants to choke Liz the hell out for pulling this shit.
Today of all days.
If Henry was still alive, he’d lock her in a room somewhere, refusing to let her come out until she acted with some sense. Until she came up with a viable plan. Until she spread the information around, making sure everyone was on board and doing their part.
She’s known about the leak for less than a week. How in the hell does she think that’s enough time to take out a dirty fed all by herself? She’s walking into something that no one else knows about, half-cocked, and more than half injured. How does she expect to take out the leak when she can’t even stand up straight without wincing?
Stupid, stupid woman.
Did she really think I’d ever be okay with sitting this one out, letting someone else fight the battle that’s come to claim my daughter? And for her to think that Brody would ever willingly keep a secret from me after all of the secrets I was forced to keep him from him for so long… That alone should prove she’s not in her right mind.
I feel as if I’m moving on autopilot, completely unaware of what I’m doing or where I’m headed. One minute I’m inside Liz’s house, trying to make a plan, the next I’m buckling my seatbelt as Brody pulls out of the driveway, with no recollection of how I even got out here.
Did I lock the door? Did I grab my phone?
“I got your phone and I locked the door behind us.”
Damn, I didn’t realize I said any of that out loud. That just goes to show how completely out of my mind I feel right now.
Mind Reader by A Day to Remember comes on the radio as Brody slows down for the stop sign at the end of the street. I snort to myself as the lyrics play out, cursing Liz in my head.
“I think we should head to the cemetery, wait her out. We can sit back and see what she’s planning on doing. If she’s safe and can truly handle the threat without issue, I say we let her do it but at least this way we’ll be there if she needs back up.”
I turn in my seat so that I can fully face Brody, needing to see his face, read his body language. I mean, did I fall asleep and slip into a wormhole or something? The last time Brody and Liz were in so much as the same building, he was ready to tear the walls down to keep her away from our daughter. Now he’s just suddenly on her side, rooting for her? Ready to defend her?
What is happening in my life right now? I’m so confused!
Speaking of confusion…
“Liz’s letter. She mentioned videos. What was she talking about?”
With such ease and comfort, Brody has his right hand on the steering wheel while his left elbow is propped up on the door’s armrest. He raises two fingers on his left hand, slowly dragging them across the underside of his chin as he contemplates his response.
“She gave me all of the truths, Little Wolf. I know everything now. Including everything that I missed out on the last three years with our daughter. She gave me videos of Oaklynn growing up.”
Little Wolf.
He called me Little Wolf… He hasn’t called me that since he found out that Oaklynn was alive…
My heart seizes in my chest as I contemplate what this means. His change in demeanor since he showed up at Liz’s house. The lack of aggression and animosity in his voice… I shake my head, ridding myself of those hopeful thoughts.
It means nothing.
We’re not making amends, we’re not moving forward. We won’t be together as one big happy family that I’ve always dreamt we would be. We’re just creating an alliance long enough to take care of the threat against our daughter. After that, everything will go back to the way it was.
The t
ruth came too little, way too late. I have to accept that and quit trying to find false hope. If I don’t, I’ll keep driving myself crazy with that ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybe this time’s.’
I had my chance. We had our chance.
And I ran from it.
Too many times.
I swallow down my disappointment, screwing my eyes up as tight as I can, forcing back the tears that want to fall. The tears that burn hot and beg for forgiveness that I now see will never come.
“I had no idea. But I’m glad you didn’t miss out on those memories. It was something that always ate away at me, knowing you weren’t able to be there for them.”
“I know.”
No, he doesn’t. How could he?
How could he possibly understand how many times I begged Liz to just let us come home? How could he possibly know how many times I cried myself to sleep each night, praying to a god that has always turned his back on me, to just give us a chance to be a family? How could he possibly know how much it burned me up on the inside that every milestone our daughter had, I couldn’t share that with him because I had to make him think she was dead?
I shake my head, knowing that train of thought will lead me nowhere. Instead, I try to focus on the positives. Try to find solace and happiness in the fact that although it’s just in videos that were captured in secret that Brody finally got to see his daughter growing up. That’s enough for me. It has to be.
“Do you have a favorite? Of all the videos, of all the moments, seeing her grow up, which part are you the happiest that you got to see?”
His voice takes on a gritty tone as if he’s holding back his emotions when there’s no need for him to.
“The day she was born. Gosh, you were so strong, Rem. Even three years later, knowing that you both made it out just fine, I felt like I was right there with you. I was so scared for you when your body tried to give out. But you refused to give up, you fought so hard to bring our little hummingbird into the world.”
As he parks the truck on the side of the street, right outside of the cemetery, he takes off his seatbelt, turning to face me completely. My skin prickles under the inspection of his penetrating gaze.
He reaches across the seats, taking my hand in his. Bringing my hand up, he kisses the back of my scarred up knuckles. His lips tremble against my skin, matching the trembling I feel in my soul.
“I’m so sorry, Little Wolf. I’m sorry that I took my pain and anger out on you. I’m sorry that I punished you for things that were out of your control and for never considering how hard it was on you. I was selfish, impulsive, and downright fucking cruel when your suffering outweighed my own.”
He pulls me into his lap, one arm circled behind me, holding me firmly against him. With his free hand, he gently cups my cheek, bringing our foreheads together, whispering against my mouth.
“You deserve a thousand times more of a man than I think I’m capable of being, but I’m begging you not to search for him. I’m begging you to let me spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and worshipping you. Give us the chance to raise Oaklynn together, under one roof, being the family we’ve all always dreamed of being. Please. You owe me nothing, Remi, but I’m selfish enough to ask for everything anyway.”
I slowly raise a hand, threading my fingers through the unruly hair on his brow, loving the way any part of him feels beneath my fingertips. My skin hums, my soul sighs with relief, knowing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. That I’m with exactly who I’m supposed to be.
I cup each of my hands around either side of his face, making sure we’re locked in this moment together. Making sure that he understands the depths of what I’m about to say to him.
“Where there’s me, there should always be you.”
“And where there’s us, there should always be Oaklynn.”
The moment the words leave his lips, I taste them on my own. His lips sear mine in a punishing promise. A soul-binding oath that I feel deep in my bones.
I belong to Brody.
And he belongs to me.
The past is irrelevant. Only the future matters. The future we build together. The things we accomplish together. The daughter we save and raise and love together.
It’s everything I’ve always wanted, everything I was scared I would never have.
Despite how desperately I want to fall into Brody’s touch, to get lost in it, I pull back with a sigh, time ticking away too quick for comfort.
“When we leave here today, we leave it all behind. All the suffering, the pain, the monsters. After today it’s all done, you hear me?”
I smile as his fingers trace a lazy path along my jaw.
“I hear you. Let’s go save Liz and end that rogue fed bastard.”
A boyish smile that I haven’t seen in years, takes over Brody’s ruggedly handsome face, showing his excitement. Does it make him fucked in the head for getting so excited about ending someone’s life? Probably. Does it make me love him any less? Absolutely fucking not. If anything it makes me love him more.
Nobody comes between a man and his daughter. Especially not this man. Anyone who tries… Well, the cemetery has plenty of empty plots left to use, let’s just say that.
Two shots fire off in the distance before I even have the chance to climb off of Brody’s lap. The sound is followed by what looks like hundreds of birds fleeing the trees around the cemetery, taking flight, leaving the danger behind.
“Get your pistol ready, Little Wolf. Time to end the war once and for all.” Brody tells me, placing a kiss on my lips before he flings open the driver’s side door, pulling me out with him.
The minute my feet hit the ground, my gun is raised in front of me, finger resting along the barrel, ready to take out anyone who isn’t Liz.
None of us are dying today!
I repeat the mantra in my head over and over again as we get closer to where Henry’s service is supposed to take place in a little over an hour. Confusion swirls inside of me as I try to understand the motive behind killing Liz, or getting a hold of Oaklynn for that matter. All of this shit with me should have ended when I ended my uncle’s miserable, pathetic, life.
What are we missing?
Brody extends his arm, halting me from moving forward as we crouch behind a huge headstone, trying to take in the scene in front of us.
“Those aren’t feds.” He whispers to me.
No, they certainly aren’t. But what the hell are they doing here?
We sit in silence for a moment longer as I rack my brain, sifting through memories as I try and recall if I’ve ever seen the patch on the back of these MC cuts in my misadventures with my uncle.
There’s got to be at least a dozen guys here, maybe even more. And by guys, I mean huge fucking guys! All strapped, all sporting the same MC patch, all ranging in age from what looks like barely 18 to 40 years old. There’s no fucking way we can take all of them out on our own, find and take down the FBI leak, and save Liz too.
Another two shots are fired off, sounding much closer this time. Almost as if it’s coming from just beyond the wall of muscular bastards that stand no more than thirty feet in front of us.
“We need to call the guys for backup and see how fast they can get here. I don’t like our odds, Rem. This shit is deep.”
The group of men ahead of us starts murmuring quietly amongst themselves, everyone shifting positions and creating a hole for three of the biggest men I’ve ever seen in my entire life to walk out. Their movements are unrushed and unfazed, only accentuated by their lazy swagger.
One of the men I recognize, causing my heart to seize up in my chest.
“No need.” I tell him, holstering my gun and standing up, no longer hiding behind the headstone.
Before Brody can stop me, before my brain and my body can communicate with each other, I’m running forward, barreling into the man I recognize.
Consequences be damned, I’ve got to get to him
!
I hear several guns being cocked back and I don’t even have to look to know they’re aimed at me.
“Have you lost your goddamn mind?” He screams when I slam into him.
“Ruger!” I exclaim, not caring at all how many triggers are itching to be pulled.
I dare them to try and harm me. I know enough about my brother to know that he’ll have their heads lobbed off their body, rolling around in the grass before their hearts even stop beating.
“They could have killed you, Sis. Holy shit, you can’t sneak up on us like that. They don’t know who you are.”
Ruger lifts me in his arms and hugs me tightly, my body dangling from the ground with how tall he is compared to me.
“Put her the fuck down!”
Ruger sits me on the ground, trying and failing, to push me behind him. Every gun that was previously aimed at me is now firmly fixed on the voice that dared to make a demand of my brother.
Brody.
Brody’s gun, however, is aimed right at my brother’s forehead, taunting him, challenging him to put his hands on me again.
It’s hilarious really. Or maybe it’s just me having a complete and total mental breakdown. That’s the only other explanation I can come up with as I burst out into uncontrollable laughter.
While what I’m assuming is my brother’s MC, threatens to kill the love of my life, and the love of my life threatens to kill my brother, the man who when he was just a boy himself saved me from the basement of horrors I grew up in... All I can do is clutch my side as unstable laughter pours out of me.
It’s a cathartic release of every emotion I’ve ever bottled up inside of me. All of the fear, the panic, the pain, the joy, all of it. It all manifests itself in maniacal cringing laughter as I try to formulate the words to explain what’s going on.
“Everyone put your guns down! Remi’s dick is bigger than all of yours so stop trying to measure each other up.”
Lizzy!
My laughter halts the moment I hear her voice. Her living, breathing, unharmed voice. Everyone turns to see my FBI handler, my best friend, walking out of the overgrown trees, her face and clothing covered in blood splatter and dirt.
Absolution Page 36