This time I'm the one who shudders that voice could undo me in seconds.
Holy fuck.
I'm suddenly aware of the silence in the room and pat Rafe’s back to let me down. He slowly puts me down, seeming reluctant to let me go. I step back and turn to the room, everyone is looking at me with wide eyes and I raise my eyebrow at them in question, what did I do now? As I study them closer, I realise that it's not just me they're looking at in shock, but Rafe too, even the guys are staring at him like he’s done something amazing. I glance up at Rafe, my gaze questioning and he just shrugs slightly, that tiny smile playing on his lips. I narrow my eyes, what am I missing?
"Ok, food" Rob says clapping his hands and breaking everyone out of whatever trance they've just been in. They start making their way into the dining room. Rafe quickly darts ahead before I can question him further.
Jerk.
"He hasn't spoken a single word since you left" Cash whispers as he walks past me.
"Not even to you guys?" I question my heart breaking.
He shakes his head sadly. I stand there, heart hurting and my anger growing for my fucking father, for pulling me away from here. I could've helped him or at least just been there for him.
"Everleigh, are you coming?" Jenny questions from the dining room.
I take a seat between Riley and Rafe, guessing that I was put here strategically. Gathering my courage, I initiate contact with someone for the first time in what feels like forever and I reach down squeeze Rafe’s hand. As I go to pull away, his grip tightens, I stop trying to take my hand away and just leave it there. To be honest I think we could both do with the comfort right now.
As soon as I’m seated, all of the guys pile some sort of food dish on my plate. We're having steak, potatoes and various side dishes and I now, thanks to the guys, I have a bit of everything. A quick glance at Riley shows her smirking and trying not laugh. I pinch her on the thigh and she just grins wider. Unfortunately, just like last time, all of my very dusty manners fly out the window as soon as I'm sure everyone else has started eating.
"Holy fuck Ever, you can eat as much as most football players!" Riot says.
I chuckle, "yep, pretty sure I could drink most football players under the table too" I smirk.
The table goes quiet as what I said registers, and everyone looks to Jenny and Rob for their reaction, although the guys are trying to hide their smirks.
"I said something inappropriate again, didn’t I?" I sigh and the guys share a look.
"Your dad let you drink?" Jenny asks cautiously.
"My dad didn't give a shit what I did so long as I played my part in his business." I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, I didn't know your father ran a business what is it that he did?" Rob asks hopefully, trying to cling to something that would mean his old friend wasn't all bad.
"I'm not sure that's appropriate dinner conversation" I say trying to be polite, my manners may be rusty as shit but even I know bringing up drugs at the dinner table is frowned upon.
Everyone around the table tenses and Trick leans forward, his wavy blond hair getting in his grey eyes. I have the weirdest urge to move it out of the way for him, I clench the hand that’s not holding Rafe’s in an effort to stop myself.
"What sort of business did he have Ever?" Trick demands.
His storm grey eyes hold me captive and as I always used to, I speak the truth.
"He sold drugs, amongst other things.” I say sighing heavily, like fuck will I be telling them about the weapons he sold or anything else for that matter. “He had several groups of men around the city and surrounding areas working for him" I say shortly.
"And what did you do for the business?" Jensen asks his face for once devoid of any humour, a spark of violence heats his eyes before he snuffs it out. Well now I am incredibly curious. Where did that come from, it was almost like my own need for violence.
Why did I find it hot?
"Well I'm only seventeen, if I get caught it's only a stint in juvie, so I did the drops for him" I leave out that I've already been to juvie twice, they don’t need to know that.
"You took drugs to drug dens and dealt with dangerous men, armed dangerous men and had to get money from them?" Cash growls.
"Yes, but after the first couple of incidents I earned enough of a reputation that only idiots tried anything after that" I shrug aware of the dangerous glint in my eyes.
"What kind of incidents Everleigh?" Riot asks his voice tight with anger.
"That, I am not ready to talk about, can I go to bed?" I ask Jenny wanting this conversation to end, I ignore the guys as they all share another glance, their bodies taught with anger. A dangerous air surrounds them and I’m starting to wonder if there’s more to them than I first thought. Especially since I saw that darkness swirl in Jensen’s eyes, it takes a certain kind of person to have that.
"Yes sweet, but next time you're going to be home late, please let someone know we were all worried sick." Jenny replies interrupting my thoughts of the guys, which was probably a good thing to be honest.
I’ve got no business being curious about them.
"You were?" I ask incredulously.
"Yes of course, now off to bed."
I say a quick goodbye to everyone. Rylie follows me out of the room, and I figure she’s owed and explanation after tonight.
“So how do you know the guys then?” She asks as we step out of the front door.
I shut it behind me, not wanting an audience. Rylie is practically vibrating with curiosity, and it causes me to chuckle.
“We grew up together, our parents were friends. We were literally joined at the hip when we were kids, so much so that even though I went to school with half the kids at our school now, I don’t recognise any of them. The boys were my whole world and after I’d tried to make friends with this girl in first grade and it spectacularly backfired, I didn’t bother trying again. I had my boys, why did I need more friends? Then mom died and dad moved me without giving me a chance to say goodbye. I was eight when I left” I tell her trying to keep it fairly short.
“Well fuck me sideways, I kind of thought you guys had a past but damn. You left before I arrived, we would’ve been awesome friends” she chuckles as we stare out into the dark front yard. “Why did you run from them earlier? I would’ve thought you would be happy to get back to them?”
“I am, it’s just, I’m not the girl they remember anymore. I’m damaged and have done pretty fucking shit stuff just to survive, they wouldn’t want to know the real me anymore. I panicked and I ran” I explain quietly, almost telling her the truth but then deciding to leave out that there came a point, where I decided to embrace the dark parts of me and use them to keep people safe, very few people would understand that.
“Oh Ever, I think they’re going to surprise the shit out of you, it’s not my place to tell you though” she smiles.
“Way to make a girl super fucking curious Ry” I roll my eyes and she chuckles.
“See you tomorrow, girl.”
“Bye” I smile before turning around and heading back inside.
I go up to my room cursing the lack of a lock on my door again, especially since I'm feeling so raw after my panic attack. Once again, I stack my things behind the door. I'm still feeling on edge since I had to reveal a bit of my past to explain why I had the panic attack in the first place. That coupled with then admitting what I did for my father, means there’s no way I can follow through with my plan to be brave. So, I'm staying fully clothed and sleeping with my knives in my hands under the pillow tonight. I have a feeling my nightmares will be particularly violent tonight.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
The scream that’s lodged in my chest comes bubbling out of my throat. I'm vaguely aware of thundering footsteps and without having opened my eyes yet, I launch myself out of the bed and into the corner of the room, landing in a defensive position with my knives drawn.
"Everleigh," Trick’s honeyed voice washes over
me and my eyes pop open.
I scan the room noticing that all the other guys are still here and in some form of pyjamas. My eyes snag on Rafe and Jensen who both aren't wearing shirts, only pyjama trousers. Jensen’s dark blond hair which is short on the sides, but long enough on top that his fringe flops in his dark green eyes, is sticking up at all angles. His eyes are full of mischief right now but they can't fully hide the panic swimming in their depths, why is he panicking?
"Like what you see Ever?" Jensen smirks and fist bumps Rafe whose grin is just as wide.
I scan them both again my eyes tracing all the dips and groves of their stunningly chiselled chests and abs. Jensen is a slimmer build than Rafe’s mammoth form. Around six foot two, with wide shoulders and stomach definition that I honestly didn’t think existed outside of airbrushed magazines. Rafe is surprisingly more defined than I thought he’d be and I’m back to wanting to lick him, although if I’m being honest with myself, I want to lick Jensen too.
I’m aware that I’m being completely obvious in checking them out, but they practically invited me to so what did they expect to me to do? I watch in fascination, as they both swallow thickly when they realise that instead of getting embarrassed and backing off like they thought I would, I’m actually very much enjoying the view. It’s a testament to how hot they are that I went from ready to fight, to ready to fuck, so damn quickly. I decide to answer their question honestly.
"Fuck yes I do," I lick my lips and smirk at them, finally straightening out of my defensive pose. They both look taken aback by my boldness, but soon matching grins cross their faces as they take a step towards me.
"Quit it you two, or have you forgotten why we're all in here in the early hours of the morning?" Riot chastises, instantly sobering the other two up although heat flashes in his eyes too as he watches me.
My lip pops out in a pout.
"Spoil sport. I was looking forward to seeing what they'd do" I smirk and all the guys groan.
"Everleigh behave" Cash groans before adding, "we'll come back to that" as he grins wickedly.
Wait a fucking second, WE!?
Why does that thought turn me on? Fuck I need to get laid, this is not an appropriate thought to be having about the guys.
"Guys!" Luc snaps coming over to where I'm standing, Trick is still watching me worriedly, just off to the side.
All the other guys take that as a cue and start to file in, finding places to sit on the floor and my bed, apart from Jensen who starts to look around the room. Weirdly, I'm completely calm, comforted even by their presence in here and their interruption has successfully distracted me from my nightmare memory.
"Are you ok, Ever?" Luc asks gently, "we heard you scream?"
"I'm fine, Luci."
The guys chuckle at my use of the nickname I called him before I left. His full name is Lucifer, Luci made sense to an eight-year-old me. It was funny too, since it's a girl’s name and I was eight.
"I have nightmare memories, because of the panic attack and then telling you guys some things about my past. The nightmare was particularly bad tonight. Normally I can force down my screams." I shrug trying to play it off as not a big deal, even as I rub my hands up and down my Jean clad legs to get rid of the blood, that I know logically doesn't cover them but in the memory nightmare I just had, it did.
"Fuck, Ever. You get them every night?" Cash curses.
I nod.
"That's really fucking shitty" Luc grumbles his eyes troubled.
Gathering my courage, I walk over and plop myself down next to him on my bed, resting my head on his shoulder. He sighs heavily and then slowly reaches out to take my hand making sure he doesn't startle me.
"No one has called me Luci since you left, it's good to hear it again" he smiles softly.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Rafe signs.
"Actually, this is helping, before I used to use our memories together to help me come back from the nightmares, so having the real thing is pretty fucking great" I chuckle, and they all smile at me.
"Erm I have a question" Jensen puts his hand up like we're in grade school then flushes pink when we all give him incredulous looks. He's still as adorable as ever despite being a giant and one of the popular guys now. He clears his throat, "why are you fully dressed including your boots?"
Luc pulls away slightly and looks me up and down.
"He makes a good point, Dragonfly" Luc says, calling me by the nickname they made up for me all those years ago.
"Well that's an easy ish one to answer. One I have no pyjamas," I start before I get interrupted.
"I can attest to that guys, the closest is almost completely empty except for this tiny pile of clothes. Did you leave your clothes back in Fresno? We can go grab them this weekend?" Jensen asks, the nosey fucker.
The guys all nod in agreement.
"Thanks guys but everything I own I'm either wearing or it's in the closet." I say.
"This is everything!?" Jensen asks horrified.
"Yes" I chuckle, not offended in the slightest. I know I’ve got a piss poor amount of stuff. Plus, even as kids he had an obsession with clothes, sneakers especially. I'm assuming from his reaction, that's still true. He hated actually going shopping but loved the clothes.
"What was the second reason, you said there were two reasons?" Cash asks, ever the observant one.
I sigh heavily, they aren't going to like the second reason.
"Ever" Rafe states plainly, his voice once again sending a shudder through me.
Fuck me that's dangerous.
The guys all stare at him again and Riot chuckles clearly recognising the effect it has on me, I subtly flip him the bird. He flashes me a dirty grin which does exactly the same thing to me as Rafe’s voice does.
Dick.
Poor choice of words, Ever, I mentally scold myself.
They all look at me expectantly and I force my thoughts away from dirty but incredibly fun things.
I stand up and walk to the side of the room where no one is. I hate exposing myself like this, it'll just hurt more when they decide to reject me. But it is what it is, and it kept me safe.
"It was safer to sleep fully dressed and with my knives. When I was younger a few of the guys who worked for my dad tried to get into my room. My dad still had somewhat of a conscience back then and stopped them from entering, but it scared me enough that I took to sleeping with my knives. As I got older, he stopped giving a shit and one night one of the guys got in. He wasn't very stealthy so fortunately I woke up when he crashed through my door. He made a grab for me and snapped a bone in my wrist as I was trying to get away. I swiped at him with my knife, trying to get him to let me go. I managed to slice his arm, then stabbed him in the gut and jumped out the trailer window. When I got back a few hours later, after trying to set my wrist myself, hospitals were not an option, and getting some extra locks for my door, all that was left was a blood stain on the floor. I always slept fully dressed and armed from that point on and it saved me a number of other times” I finish.
"Fuck" Jensen growls, he gets up slowly and gently scopes me into a hug which I immediately sink into, fuck I've missed been hugged.
"How old were you when you defended yourself against that guy?" Trick asks his tone hard and fury bubbling in his eyes.
"Twelve" I say quietly.
Rafe gets up suddenly and storms out of the room, Riot following after him with a sad smile sent my way but his body vibrating with anger.
I look towards Cash.
"We all took it pretty fucking hard when you left but Rafe took it the worst, hearing the life you've had to live and that we couldn't be there to protect you, is particularly hard for him to hear" Cash explains.
Huh, there’s definitely more going on with them if instead of scaring them, that story made them think about protecting me from someone who was obviously very dangerous. Just what have these guys been up to if the fact that I stabbed someone doesn’t make them blink an eye. Quest
ions bubble to the surface but I push them back. Seeing that I don’t really know how to respond, Luc gets up.
"Come on there's no point going back to sleep now we've got school soon. Let's go get breakfast" he says, his tone strained although he’s trying to hide it. He stretches as he stands, giving me a glimpse of his gorgeous, toned stomach and winks at me when he catches me staring.
"You did that on purpose" Trick grumbles smacking Luc on the way past.
"Fuck yeah I did, you're just jealous you didn't think of it first" Luc chuckles and Trick shoves him out the door pausing to wink at me on the way out. Their antics making me smile and successfully lightening the mood.
"I'm just going to have a shower then I'll be down" I say deciding to brave, these are my guys they'd never let anything happen to me.
"Ok, one sec" Cash says.
I stay on the bed as he darts out of the room and mentally go through what clean clothes I’ve got left. I'm pretty bummed I have to wear the same top I arrived in, but it's better than wearing exactly what I wore yesterday. I stand up and grab clean underwear, socks and the top from inside the closet, where I stored my clothes yesterday, so I could use my bag for school. I decide to make my way to the bathroom before I chicken out. Cash can either catch up or wait. Just as I get to the bathroom Cash runs up. His cheeks tint pink slightly, which is absolutely adorable for a giant bearded man. His short brown hair drapes across his forehead but is unable to hide the uncertainty in his hazel eyes. Without saying a word, he holds out a large black t-shirt.
"It's clean and it'll be too big, but I thought since you only have that small pile of clothes in your closet, I thought you might want another t-shirt, it's probably stupid."
The whole time he's speaking he's backing up, so before I can tell him how grateful I am, he's made it down the stairs and sprinted off.
I chuckle, he always was sweet.
I bring Cash's shirt to my nose to smell and breathe in his unique Cash scent, before I'm caught smelling his top like a fucking weirdo, I dart into the bathroom, blocking the door and starting the shower.
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