“You surprised me; I didn’t know the band would be staying here.” I tried to keep my voice even, unaffected. He seemed so confident ogling me when I was completely discombobulated. “I figured you’d be put up in a mansion.”
“Nope. After Coachella we’re heading to Europe to do some shows on the festival circuit before we’re back in the States for a couple of iHeart Radio events. We’re actually all staying and rehearsing at Ty’s house in LA,” Jace rambled, now it seemed almost like he was nervous. “The guys are driving in tomorrow for the show. Since I planned to catch some music this weekend, I booked into the hotel to make a weekend of it.”
Jace gulped and then shifted his position so he was lying down in the lawn chair next to me after his word vomit.
“Okay.” I relaxed back into my lounger, but I was still indecisive about whether I should stay or make an excuse to head up to my room.
“Um.” Jace looked at me sideways behind the mirrored lenses. “It’s really good to see you. For the record, I don’t like that we’ve lost touch.”
“Hmm.” I remained non-committal. I didn’t like it either, but I also didn’t know how we even could start this conversation. Almost two years was a long time to go without speaking.
Although, we’d done it before.
“I’ve missed you.” His voice was barely audible. “I kept thinking you would show up somewhere.”
“No. That wasn’t going to happen.” I shook my head. “I’m not that girl, anymore.”
“Oh. Right.” He looked dejected. “So, are you here with someone?”
“No. I’m just here to work.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Um. Did you not show up again because of what, um, happened?” He looked down at a loose piece of the rattan on the lawn chair and began fiddling with it.
“It wasn’t the only reason, but it made things very clear,” I said truthfully.
“That you didn’t want to be with me?” His voice caught.
I crossed my arms over my body, almost protectively. “I did want to be with you. I did not want to chase after you like a groupie and give up my own goals.”
Jace sighed and lay silent for a long time. After ten minutes, I thought he might have fallen asleep and was listening for his breath to even out so I could sneak away and go back up to my room. I hadn’t been prepared to see him, let alone in this sneak-attack situation. Gawd. I wasn’t over him, not by any stretch of the imagination.
I hadn’t cried in two years and now after seeing Jace, all I wanted to do was escape to have a good cry. By myself.
I was so fucked up.
“Poppy, that’s not how it would have been.” Jace’s voice was still barely a whisper. “I would have done anything to keep you. I let you go because I figured you needed time to catch up to me.”
“What does that even mean?”
“You’re so much younger.” Jace mansplained. “You just weren’t ready to be with me. After what happened I knew that I had to let you go and have your own experiences to—”
“Wow. That’s some bullshit.” I spat.
“It’s true.”
“Stop, Jace.” I gave him the hand and reached for my cover-up. “I can’t even.”
“What? I don’t understand.” He sat up and faced me. “I thought I was doing what you wanted.”
“God, you guys are all so dense.” I was so fucking perturbed. “You know, between you, Carter, and the guys, you kind of made that decision for Zoey too. How did that turn out?”
“That wasn’t me.” Jace protested.
“Right. Back when you still called me ‘Beanie,’ you told me you thought Zoey was too young for Ty.” I muttered.
“Alex—” Jace pleaded.
“Jay-son. You’re not that much older, dude.” I wagged my finger at him and, after realizing I looked like my mom, I put it away. “God, the mansplaining is infuriating. Have I ever been someone that doesn’t know my own mind?”
“No.” Jace looked down, flustered. “Never.”
“So, please just shut up then.” I was so pissed; I’d never spoken out like this to him. I wasn’t going to hide who I was anymore.
“How was I supposed to know, Alex?” Jace leaned his elbows on his knees, speaking in a hushed tone. “Sure, you’d show up to see me. But you also always were the one who had plans to bail.”
I stared at him.
“Even your first time, you wanted me to—” Jace cut himself off. “And then, after Barcelona, do you know how much it sucked when you got engaged to that Australian guy?”
“This is so stupid. We can’t keep doing this, and we really can’t do this here.” I managed to keep my voice quiet to avoid any more attention. I was desperate to get away from having this conversation.
“Poppy, just tell it to me straight. Have you moved on?” Jace took both my hands in his and rubbed the tops with his thumbs. And dammit, watching him caress me with his strong fingers provided a sense of comfort I’d been missing since I last saw him.
I didn’t answer, I just intertwined my fingers with his. We sat there silently for what seemed like hours, but it was probably no longer than a few seconds. Zaps of energy buzzed between our fingers. Without thinking, my head tilted up and my lips gravitated toward his, and he met me halfway. Our mouths parted to taste each other for the first time in so many months. Jace’s grip on my hands tightened and he used the leverage to drag me toward him to deepen our kiss.
Conscientious that we were in full public view of hundreds of rooms, I broke our connection completely and grabbed my cover-up in one motion. I pulled it over my bikini, toed on my flip-flops, and picked up my bag. Without saying a word, I strode purposefully away from him, winding through the lawn chairs and around the kiosk where the towels were handed out. Jace followed close behind all the way through the big glass doors and into the corridor leading to the guest elevators. I didn’t stop until I pressed the “up” button.
“Alex, wait.” Jace gently caressed my elbow.
“I really can’t deal with this weird thing we have going anymore.” I steeled my emotions. “It’s too difficult.”
“Do you know what isn’t difficult? I still want to be with you.” Jace’s voice broke. “Now more than ever.”
“Your words and actions are different.” I gulped down the lump lodged in the back of my throat that formed when I realized it was him sitting next to me.
“Let’s go to your room and talk.” Jace regained his composure. “Or, you can come to mine.”
“All we’ll do is end up naked, Jace.” I shook my elbow loose from his caresses. “And once we’re naked, well? We’ll start up again.”
“What’s wrong with starting up again? “Jace was so goddamn gorgeous. And earnest. I knew my resistance would be non-existent if I didn’t get away soon.
“Because, I couldn’t even tell you what we’d start up again.” I practically flung myself into the elevator once it opened.
“We’d start seeing each other again.” Jace sauntered in after me. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
“So, being separated by continents for months at a time isn’t complicated?”
“Unlike most people, we don’t have to be separated.” Jace pulled his sunglasses off and leveled his green eyes at me.
“Right, as long as I get a copy of your schedule and you let me know which dates work for you?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“Why didn’t you ever reach out if I meant so much to you? You just let me go.” I slumped against the wall. “You never even texted me.”
Jace shrugged his shoulders. “I thought you must have needed a break from me pressuring you.”
“Two years.” I stared at him. “That’s a long fucking break. Especially—”
“You didn’t make any effort either, Poppy.” Jace raised a dark-blond eyebrow, the dimples in his cheeks popped when he smirked.
“T
his isn’t funny, Jace. I’ve made all of the effort with you. First, I basically begged you to take my virginity. Then I chased you across the world. Our relationship consisted of six months of flying into cities so I could fuck you in a hotel room.” I seethed. “It began to get humiliating.”
“I never knew you felt that way. It wasn’t until Italy that I realized you had serious doubts. I thought we were having the best time together.” Jace furrowed his brow and slumped against the side of the elevator too. “Then when we got home, you—”
“Ran away back to Europe.” I finished. “Which was what you wanted me to do.”
“That’s not fucking true, Alex.”
Ignoring him, I marched down the hall to my room when the elevator door opened on my floor. Jace followed close behind. I swiped my card key and pushed inside. Jace followed me in and locked and deadbolted the door before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his chest.
“That’s not true,” Jace whispered in my ear. “You wanted to leave. I loved you enough to let you go.”
“Maybe I wanted you to follow me for once.”
“Poppy, guys are dense. You should have just said that.” Jace tightened his arms. “How would I have known that?”
I melted back into his arms. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. I moved back to Seattle a year ago.”
“I know.” Jace rested his chin on my neck. “Jen has been staying at my place with her girlfriend. She’s seen you around.”
“Oh.” All the fight went out of me. “Wait, she knows about me?”
“Of course. She knows about the most important people in my life.” He kissed along the back of my neck causing my entire body to ignite.
“Jace—”
“Oh, Alex.” Jace tightened his arms and buried his face in my nape like he was breathing me in. “You’re all I think about.”
“You’re all I think about too.” I conceded. “You know me better than anyone in the world.”
“Except Zoey.” Jace nibbled my ear.
“Better than Zoey, unlike her you have tasted every part of my body.” I turned to face him and clasped my arms around his neck.
Jace bent his lips to mine and kissed me softly over and over again. Cupping my head and weaving his strong fingers through my hair, he positioned my head so he could control the pace of our kisses.
Only Jace kissed me like this and dammit, his kisses were the only ones I ever wanted.
Dreamily, he sipped from the corner of my mouth, traced my lower lip with his tongue and then in one motion gripped my ass and hauled me up against him. Hooking my legs around his waist, I gyrated my molten core against his hard length. Our kisses turned sloppy and frantic.
“Please. I need—” I begged.
“Shh. Let me take care of you.” Jace’s erection pulsed against me, and he walked me to the bed to lay me down on my back.
In one fluid motion, he pulled my bikini briefs off, flung them to the floor, palmed under my knees, and pressed my legs apart. He devoured me like he hadn’t eaten in years.
My entire core was like a live electric wire, and each swipe of Jace’s tongue and nibble of his lips set off firecrackers. Madly grinding my pussy against his mouth while Jace suckled and moaned against me, I spread my legs as wide as they would go. He inserted two fingers to press against my G-spot and suctioned my clit in his mouth while dragging his tongue through my folds. I detonated like an atom bomb, screaming his name, bucking and gushing against his face.
“God, I missed you.” Jace murmured into my pussy, suckling my folds as I came down from the type of earthshattering orgasm I hadn’t experienced since the last time we were together.
I couldn’t speak. He kissed up my body and gave me a taste of my own release. “I don’t want anyone but you, Alex.”
“I don’t want anyone but you,” I echoed, pulling him down, needing to feel the weight of his body on mine.
Jace wrapped his arms around my upper body. His dick twitched against my stomach through his thin board shorts. We lay cuddled like that for a few minutes until he braced himself on his elbows on either side of my head and looked at me intently.
“Are you ready for me now?” Jace’s husky voice was tinged with passion. He touched his forehead to mine.
“Yes.” I tenderly stroked his messy hair, smoothing it back as it flopped over his brow.
“No.” Jace’s arms caged my upper body and his emerald eyes pierced my soul. “I don’t mean sex.”
My heart was beating so hard that I couldn’t tell if I was panicked, thrilled, relieved, or all three. All I knew was that I never wanted another man to touch me for as long as I lived.
So, scared. Scared was what I felt. It made me squirmy.
“I’m scared.” Shockingly, I somehow managed to express exactly how I was feeling.
Jace rolled off me and scooted up on the bed against the pillows, taking me with him and tucking me into his side. One arm encircled my body, holding me snugly to his side. With his other hand, he stroked my temples and cheek with his knuckles like a whisper.
“Well, I’m terrified too right now,” Jace said into the air.
“Why?”
“Because I told you how I felt in Italy. That I loved you. That I wanted to be with you—” He scrubbed his strong hand over his chin, his long, sun-streaked hair wild about his face. “I’d never said that to anyone before. I’ll never say it to anyone else.”
“I never allowed myself to believe it.” The truth of my words stung. I sagged against his chest.
“But you said you loved me too.” Jace blew out a frustrated breath. “I believed you.”
“Well, I meant it.” I deflated even further. I didn’t consider myself an insecure person. It stung being confronted with the reality that my subconscious self-doubt might have pushed away this gorgeous man. “I guess I didn’t trust that you did.”
Jace pondered what I said for a minute. “Christ! I asked you to go on tour with me. You have the most flexible fucking job in the world. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Jace. You know why. You can’t put this all on me.”
“Hey. Hey—Poppy. Geez. I’m really not trying to make you feel bad.” Jace’s voice softened. “Let me get this off my chest. Because we need to be honest with each other.”
“Okay.” I blinked back my escalating emotions. Inhaled and exhaled. I willed the lump in my throat to go away.
“When I asked you to come back to Seattle with me, it was so obvious to me that you didn’t want to be there. With me.” Jace’s mouth was set in a firm line, his hands clenched together. “I know that I had obligations, but you were not mentally there. I felt it.”
I didn’t say anything, just nodded at him to finish.
“When we had that, um, scare.” He puffed out air. “I think why I was so, um—Disappointed, in the results, I guess. Was, well. I knew it would have been the only thing that would have kept us together at that point.”
“I was disappointed too,” I admitted, probably for the first time even to myself.
“I don’t think you were then,” Jace said quietly, his face squinched with pain. “Your reaction. God. It was so, definitive. You wouldn’t even consider ever raising a kid with me. You said you were getting your tubes tied. It broke my heart.”
“Jace—” I reached for him.
He shook his head, and I moved my hand back, stung.
“I was out getting this poppy tattoo, planning a future with you. You’d already booked your ticket to get away from me.” Jace looked at me sadly and stroked the red flower on his arm. “Even before you took the tests. It was already booked. I was so pissed. Hurt. You even contemplated not telling me. Even if you’d been pregnant, you might’ve have left. That’s when I knew you didn’t want me.”
I covered my mouth with my hand.
Jace took a deep breath. “I can’t believe it’s been almost two years.”
“You unfollowed me, and I never heard from you.” I s
hook my head. “I thought you were relieved for it to be over.”
“No, I just didn’t want to see—I couldn’t see you with anyone else.” Jace lay back down next to me. “I wanted to give you space. I really thought you’d show up somewhere. I never stopped hoping.”
“Part of me has always thought that I was chasing you and you were just humoring the kid who had such an obvious crush on you.” I couldn’t stop a tear from escaping. “It’s been our dynamic.”
Jace wiped my tear with his finger before it rolled down my cheek. “Fuck, Poppy. That’s what you think our dynamic is? You’ve had me completely wrapped around your finger all of these years, and you don’t even know it.”
“Since that first time we had sex, I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you, Jace.” My heart was overwhelmed with his confession. “But I’ve always had my own goals and dreams that were just as important to me. I’ve settled back down in Seattle now. I’m going to start my own horse rescue soon. I don’t want to go on the road anymore.”
“And I’m about to go back out on tour.” He took my hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it.
An endless cycle of heartbreak.
Chapter 17
JACE
There was nowhere I’d rather be than quietly cuddling on the bed after such cathartic and long-overdue confessions. While we wound down from the emotional afternoon, I tried to process what this unexpected reunion meant.
Earlier, after I’d checked in and stepped out onto my hotel balcony to take in the view of the pool, my eyes had been drawn to and fixed on Alex immediately. My heart had stopped. Even from a distance, I’d know her anywhere.
Anytime.
Anyplace.
My first instinct was to ignore her. To try to forget I’d seen her supple, tan curves, sexy hipbones jutting just above her bikini bottom. Her toned long legs. Her succulent tits straining against the tiny scraps of fabric. I’d paced my room. Went and got a beer at the lobby bar. Went back to my room and closed the curtains. Peeked out of the curtains to gawk at her flawless body, hard dick in my hand, stroking one out like a creepy stalker.
LIMITLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 2: Jace & Alex Page 18