by Ciara Graves
“I’m going with you.”
“No, you’re not.”
He snarled. “This is not up for discussion. What happens if you fall into your memories again and it’s not me who sneaks up behind you? What if it’s an innocent? Or Draven himself? I have time off. I’m coming with you.”
“I don’t need a bodyguard.”
“Not your bodyguard. I’m your boyfriend, spending time with a stubborn, pain in the ass girlfriend,” he muttered.
I smiled.
He returned it briefly then examined my finger closely. “Good news, you’ll live.”
“Thanks, Doctor Owen,” I teased.
He kept hold of my hand and then drew me into his bare chest, holding me in his arms.
I shut my eyes, breathing him in, reminding myself I was far away from that dreadful place. This was where I should want to be, right here with a guy who cared about me for more than what was in my blood. Even as he held me, a strange anxiousness filled me, and I fought the urge to pull back.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked, his voice rumbling through his chest, tickling my ear.
My arms closed around his waist as I shook my head.
“Alright, why don’t you get cleaned up then. You’re a mess.”
“Am not.”
He reached down and ran his thumb along my cheek. “You’re covered in dirt.”
“I thought you liked me messy.”
“Oh, I do,” he agreed.
I pulled away headed toward the bedroom and the shower.
I winked at him then took off, and he sighed heavily about my driving him crazy.
“This is not the city,” Owen pointed out as he parked his truck along the curb outside of the only café in Madwich. “Not even close.”
“We’re stopping here first. You just want to drive your truck.”
“Can you blame me? I miss the poor girl. Hardly ever gets used. You know I left you the keys for a reason.”
“I am not driving that gas guzzling monster,” I said as we stepped into the café.
“Who are we talking to this morning?”
“Who said we’re talking to anyone?”
He grunted. “I know how you work.” He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “It’s how we met. Remember?”
“I do. Never forget that day.”
“Bet you don’t. You want a coffee?”
“Of course. I’ll be at that corner table in the back,” I told him, pointing it out.
He held onto my arm when I started to walk away.
“What?”
“Her? You came here to talk to her?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He scowled at me. “Don’t much like her. And you know why.”
“I do, but she’s the only one in this town who might be able to help me. I can’t be constantly having these flashbacks when I’m after Draven,” I said quietly. “You don’t have to talk to her, but I need to. If you want to wait outside—”
“No, I’ll be joining you shortly.” He eyed the woman suspiciously then set off for the counter.
I walked toward the back table and pulled out a chair.
I’d barely sat down when the woman with long, flowing black hair at the table right next to mine turned her head. She sniffed the air once, then smiled, her white eyes looking at nothing and everything.
“Ah, well now. This I did not see this morning,”
“Why don’t I believe you?” I asked, taking my seat.
“I don’t know. No reason not to.”
“You see everything, Minnie. Surely you saw this happening.”
She shrugged as she stirred her coffee slowly. “What can I say? Sometimes it gets old, seeing everything. You aren’t here alone.”
“No.”
“Owen has returned. Perfect timing that demon of yours has.”
I frowned. “Why do you say that?”
“You came here this morning for more than just coffee. You want answers about your nightmares of late. About seeing your past far too vividly.”
I shifted in my chair, glancing around, but we were in Madwich, in a café. There were no other vampires out in this bright sunshine. Certainly not the one who haunted my dreams. “I do.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have any to give you.”
“Don’t lie.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I lie to try and save people from truths they don’t wish to hear.”
“Meaning what?” I asked, leaning closer. “What have you seen?”
She craned her neck to the side and nodded her head. “Owen, so good to see you returned safely from Valesk.”
“Minnie,” Owen said gruffly, sitting down beside me with our coffees.
“You don’t have to try and be nice with me,” Minnie teased. “I know you don’t like seers.”
“Don’t trust them. There’s a difference, but please, carry on.”
I worried she wouldn’t, now that he was here, but she tilted her head back, eyes wide open, then sighed. “I see many things as always. Some will come to pass, others I cannot say for certain. The one thing I do know is your life will be forever changed.”
A shiver raced down my spine.
Even as Owen muttered under his breath, “Course it will be.”
“Hush,” I told him.
“What? She hasn’t told you anything concrete. Nothing at all.”
“Yet,” Minnie said, tapping the side of her nose with her finger. “These nightmares of yours, I fear they will get worse before they get better.”
“That’s not what I want to hear.”
“I know, but it’s the truth. There is something buried in your mind that needs to get out. The more you suppress your memories, the less chance it has of coming forward,” she warned. “And it is very important you face it.”
“Can’t you just tell her?” Owen asked.
“I am a seer, and we cannot change the course of destiny or fate. All we can do is guide and warn. You know this, as do all.” She reached out and took hold of my hand.
My skin tingled from the contact of such strong magic.
“The tides are changing quickly, Seneca Savage, and if you’re not ready for it, you will lose yourself. Lose everything you love. You must remember who you are. What you are.”
Her words annoyed me. Agent Williams’s words from the night before about who I was came back to me like a slap in the face.
I drew back. “I know who I am.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah, I do. Thanks very much. I’m the freak that doesn’t belong anywhere. You know, I think I agree with Owen today. Unless you can give me something solid to work with, I’m finished with this conversation.”
“Seneca Savage, danger is on the horizon.”
“Always is,” I muttered as I stood. “Thanks, Minnie, see you around.”
She said my name once more, but I turned my back on her and left the café, with Owen right behind me.
I waited for him to tell me I should’ve listened to him, but thankfully he wasn’t petty enough to do so.
We reached the truck, but Minnie’s words stuck with me and the idea of sitting in the truck for the couple of hours it would take to get to the city made me anxious, so I kept walking.
Summer was wearing on, and eventually, fall would arrive. The temperatures would plummet, and snow would make it hard to get around. Not that I minded the cold. Being half vampire meant I hardly felt it.
I wandered through the streets of Madwich, not really seeing the faces of those I passed. My mind replayed Minnie’s warning about my nightmares getting worse. I didn’t want them to get worse. I wanted them to stop forever. I was tired of waking up drenched in a cold sweat. Tired of Owen having to snap me out of whatever dark thought dragged me down, again and again. I was done with it. The past needed to stay in the past. Whatever truth she claimed I needed to know, I’d just have to deal without it. I should’ve known it would be too much to ask for a simple solution to solve my p
roblems and stop me from waking up, day after day, feeling more of myself breaking away.
I considered turning around right then and asking Owen if we could disappear for the rest of the month. Hop in the truck and drive off to the west. Somewhere no one knew who I was. If I asked him, he would contact the Feds and get them off my back, too. I could leave it all behind.
As much as living in Madwich drove me crazy some days, though, this was my home. Had been for years. I loved my cottage and my gardens. Plus, Owen was here, for the most part. If I left, I knew I’d wind up right back here again anyway. What was the point in trying to get away? I was about to tell Owen we would head to Boston first thing tomorrow morning when he tapped me on the shoulder.
“Hmm?”
“Think you’re needed,” he said, pointing down the sidewalk.
I found what he was talking about and handed over my coffee. “Damn. You going to stay nearby?”
“I will. Don’t worry. Go see what happened this time.”
I continued down the sidewalk to where a teenage girl sat on a bench, swinging her legs. She was crying, cheeks wet and eyes all red and puffy. I sat down beside her and waited to see if she would talk first, this time.
The minutes ticked by and after a while, she fell into my side, and my arm went around her.
“How bad was it this time?”
Lexi, the thirteen-year-old I somehow managed to bond with, sniffed hard. “Bad enough.”
“Did she hurt you?”
“No, not this time. Just kept yelling at me. Then she locked me in my room, and I climbed out through the window.”
I ground my teeth, wishing I had an actual helpful career, so I could help her out. I spent too many years on the streets using my skills to do whatever anyone needed to land a job in the government. I’d be arrested before I would get through the interview.
Lexi’s father was gone. Just up and left one day. Her mom. Well, her mom was a piece of work. She was human and an alcoholic to start with. Lexi’s father was part fae. She had a bit of it in her blood, though it didn’t really show through.
I sensed it when I was near her, but she had no powers from it. Nothing to help defend her from a mother who blamed her for everything that went wrong in their lives. I wanted Lexi to just come live with me, but who was I kidding? I wasn’t stable enough on my own, and my life was too damned dangerous to have a mostly human girl living with me. Not that I had a good childhood experience to go off of, either.
“She asleep right now?” I asked.
“Passed out on the couch, from what I could tell.”
“You want to come back to my place and hang out for the day? Just doing some gardening and what not. When was the last time you ate?”
She shrugged.
My anger shot up another notch. I hated that woman. If I had any power whatsoever to do so, I would find a way to get rid of her. In all honesty, I could arrange an accident, but then Lexi would be thrown in the system. I had no way to adopt her. No agency would ever allow it.
“Right. Let’s go back to my place. You’ll be safe there. For a while, at least.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s go, kid.”
“Not that much of a kid,” she muttered, but got up to walk beside me.
She wiped at her eyes again and tugged her hair back in a messy ponytail. She looked weary, and I worried she might not be strong enough to survive the life fate dealt her.
Some days, I wondered the same thing about myself.
When Lexi saw Owen, her face lit up, and she ran to him. He picked her up in a hug and spun her around. He had four younger sisters, one of them about Lexi’s age, and was a damned good big brother to her, even though she wasn’t related.
“What’s up, kid?” he asked, messing up her hair even more.
“Enough, I guess. Seneca said I could stay with you guys today.”
“Course you can. The more, the merrier.” He opened the back door of the truck, and she climbed in. The second he closed the door his smile fell away, and his eyes darkened. “I really hate that woman.”
“You and me both.”
“There’s nothing you can do, legally?”
“All I can do is call CPS, but Lexi would hate me for it.” I blew out a heavy breath, hating how my hands were tied. “Won’t do anything unless she asks me to.”
Owen glared one final time, then got in behind the wheel.
Once I was in, too, he made for the cottage, and we headed right for the garden.
Lexi enjoyed being there with the flowers and the plants and the colorful orbs that would follow her around.
It was nice to see her smile and laugh like she should be doing at this age, not wondering where she was going to get her next meal. Or if her mother was going to lock her out of the house for days on end.
Which had happened. I went inside to make her some food for lunch and Owen followed.
“You know,” he said hesitantly, as I stood at the stove, “my parents keep asking about you.”
“Oh, yeah?” I had to clear my throat when the words got stuck. “And what do you tell them?”
“That one of these days when you’re not busy, you’ll meet them. And my sisters.”
I put the skillet on the burner and heated up the oil, then dug around in the fridge for some bacon, steak, and whatever else I could think to make. I might not have a thirst for blood all the time, but my appetite had increased and changed over the years. Most fae were vegetarians. Me, I’d grown to love red meat. A lot of red meat.
Owen didn’t seem to mind my diet and let me cook most of the time. Except now, when his hand covered mine over the skillet handle, and he turned me around.
“What?”
“You’re stalling,” he said.
“Can you blame me? You know what I’m like. And your family, are you sure you want them to meet me? I don’t want them thinking you’re crazy.”
“They won’t,” he assured me. “They know who you are and what you do for a living.”
“That’s a great way to make a first impression. Hey Mom, want to meet my girlfriend? She’s a contract spy, thief, and killer, but nothing to worry about. She won’t murder you all in your sleep.”
He rolled his eyes. “What are you so worried about? You’re a good person. Even after everything you’ve been through.”
“If that’s what you want to believe.”
He took me by my shoulders and bent down until we were eye level. “You are. You just refuse to see yourself like that because of all this damned tainted talk.”
“I am tainted,” I snapped, removing myself from his hold. “I’m a fae who was tortured by a vampire for years. My blood was used to make fae dust. Then after I finally got free, I was bitten by another vampire who turned me. I can never be a part of the fae world again. And what vampire would accept someone who can kill with her blood? Huh? Who?”
It was known well enough, fae blood could be toxic to vampires, but I’d never heard of one being killed by drinking it. As I’d witnessed happen, several times, with mine.
His eyes darkened, but he made no move to hug me. “Am I not enough then?”
“I don’t deserve you,” I argued. “You know I don’t.”
“You’re ridiculous,” he growled as he stalked away. “I’ll never understand why you insist on bringing yourself down, instead of seeing the good in you. In us.”
“Oh, I’m ridiculous? Really?”
“Yes. I’m here for you whenever you need me, you know that, but I can’t help you, if you won’t help yourself.”
Then he was gone, and I spun back around to start cooking something for Lexi and to get my mind off the hurt in his eyes as he’d walked away.
What did he want from me? How was I supposed to wake up every day and be happy when I had so much darkness in my past threatening to drag me down?
Even after I told myself today would be different. Today, I wouldn’t see the scars or feel the lingeri
ng pain that I refused to tell Owen about. Or how most days I waited to be taken away back to Otherworld so that rotten piece of filth could finish what he started.
I didn’t take the dangerous missions for the money. Not even close. I took them because it was the only time I felt fear that would chase away what was left behind.
Lexi’s laughter pulled my gaze to the window.
I watched her and Owen digging in and around the flowers, pulling weeds.
Owen never said it aloud, but I knew what he wanted out of his life. Family. It was important to him. He wanted what his parents had.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him I could never give it to him because of too many reasons to count. It would break him, and I wasn’t damned near strong enough to push him away. It was selfish of me and just another reason why I wasn’t the good person he thought I was.
As the meat cooked in the skillet, I went to grab some eggs from the fridge, but when I turned, I cursed and froze.
There, in the mirror on the far wall, was Macron. He watched me intensely, his lips moving, but I couldn’t hear anything he said.
I shut my eyes, knowing it couldn’t be possible, and when I opened my eyes, he was gone.
I brushed it off as more remnants of my nightmares, but a warm breath blew across my neck, and I jumped.
“Seneca.”
“No,” I snapped to the empty kitchen. “You left me, and I am not doing this. You are not here.”
I counted to ten as I held my breath, but there was no reply. No more breaths. Nothing.
Macron might’ve saved me from Rudarius, but in my mind, he wasn’t much better. He took me in until I was sixteen, and then he just up and left me all alone with no explanation. I hadn’t heard from him since.
As far as I knew, he was dead. Perhaps it was for the best he was gone. At least one asshole from my past would be gone and buried. The second was in Otherworld, and unless I did something extremely stupid, I would never have to see him again.
Unless it was to drive a stake through his heart.
Chapter 3
Draven
Blood filled my goblet, but I wasn’t thirsty this evening. A very important guest was going to be arriving within the hour, and my stomach rebelled at the idea of having anything in it. The dust trade was good, and we made a hefty profit in the last few months, but depending on what type of mood the leader of our coven was in, it might not be enough to satisfy him.