by Rae Foxx
Oh, no thanks. Whatever he did to that woman's little girl was something I had no desire to see. "Banana!" I called as the image of a thick wood surrounded me.
They pulled me out and looked prepared to help me recover. "I'm okay," I said. "I caught the memory of his death, which wasn't so bad. He was shot by a victim's mother."
We continued, but the lingering pain and torment in the air, the cloud of regret, grew thicker and thicker. "This shouldn't be," I whispered. "What's going on?"
"The souls are slower here, do you notice?" Luc asked. "They aren't flowing like they were."
We stopped and looked around. I studied the flow of multicolored auras. "It's getting higher, too." I shot forward, flying fast and scanning for a soul that could be Vincent. The souls grew denser and denser, higher and higher as I went. I had to move upward until my wings brushed the invisible upper barrier of the realm. Eventually, I was forced to stop because the souls were so packed in, I couldn't go farther.
"What if he's in there?" Luc asked. "Wading through that will be awful."
I sighed. "I think we have to."
We spread out and backed up, lowering ourselves about halfway. "Push the memories away. If we hold hands, we won't be sucked in. Keep moving forward and look for Vincent. We must remain cognizant."
Gripping each other tightly, we proceeded slowly.
Memories flashed through my mind. I processed them, blocking out the really bad stuff as best I could.
Most of the souls here didn't need much rehabilitation. They'd been too greedy, or too lustful. Too angry. Too slovenly. In the grand scheme of things, those problems were fixable.
We made it to the end without finding Vincent. Carefully, we turned and retraced our steps until we finally broke free of all the memories.
"There shouldn't be a wall there," I said. "We should've gone into Purgatory."
Lucifer nodded. "I'm afraid Vincent is already there."
I pursed my lips. "If we went through all this for nothing and he was already in there, I'm gonna be pissed."
"We have to get these souls freed. Some of them wouldn't even be kept in Abaddon. They'd be processed for rebirth immediately," I said. "But they're stuck here."
Michael nodded. "Most of these souls don't deserve reliving their worst memories over and over. Or their best, really. It's painful for them to know they can't return."
The pain in the air was palpable. They were all hurting. We had to help them.
12
"If I'm being honest, I have to say I don't think he's here." Luc stood inside the gates of Purgatory and looked around.
The world seemed gray when standing there, everything was hushed, and a sense of expectation and impatience filled the air. The light in Purgatory was similar to Abaddon outside the castles. We never found an actual source for it, yet there was always light. Like ambient light.
Abaddon was never dark. Of course, there were fires here and there, like the human legends said, too, so that added to it.
No fires in Purgatory. Just endless nothingness in dim lighting. It was a good thing the souls were in a deep sleep. Otherwise, they might be bored to death here.
"What else explains how this was blocked off?" I pointed to the area where the souls from the River normally spilled into Purgatory. An invisible wall held them inside the River of the Damned. We saw them there, reliving their lives over and over. They pulsed with the pain of their memories as they pressed against the space that should've let them into Purgatory and the relief of unconsciousness.
The magic of Purgatory put the souls into true Limbo. The ones on this side of the magical blockage weren't aware. The souls in here weren't being tortured. They were asleep, in a sense. But I felt horrible about them being here at all. This place was meant to be ever-changing, souls constantly going in and out. These poor people deserved to reach their final destinations, for good or evil. They deserved their rebirths or their eternal damnation. Whichever direction they went, they'd earned it.
"This is a travesty," I whispered. "How can Raphael leave things like this?"
Michael shook his head as we looked across the vast landscape full of floating souls. The colors of their auras flashed as their subconscious energy still worked, even with them asleep. They went on as far as we could see. Roughly fifty-five million souls perished every year. In a good year, only about a third went directly to Elysium.
Lucifer and I processed the rest. Of those souls, the vast majority were moved back, reborn, given another chance. They weren't evil. They'd made some bad choices, hadn't been their best selves. We took only a few million into Abaddon every year, and though that sounded like a lot, looking at the big picture, it was a smaller percentage than went elsewhere. People were better at their cores than they thought they were. They were flawed, imperfect, and made choices that caused themselves a lot of grief, but they weren't usually bad.
We gazed out in frustration. The magic of the realm buzzed in a way it didn't usually. It didn't like having the souls stuck. Magic had a purpose, a job, and this place's job was to carry the souls gently toward judgment. Not hold them indefinitely.
"We'll never find him in here," Lucifer said.
Gabe shook out his hands as his navy wings kept him in the air. Purgatory wasn't nearly as creepy as the River, but he still didn't like being here. None of us did, even when we didn't have guilt to add to the mix. "There are millions of souls here."
Oh, the guilt was just me, at least I shouldered it the most. I was the one that gave our baby away. Would we even be in this mess if I hadn't? Lucifer's magic would've still been gone, but what about the rest? The course of events might've been drastically different, if for no other reason than our focus wouldn't have been split.
I nodded. "You're right." But I had to try. If I didn't get him out of here, there would be no righting the flow. The River had to be able to spill into Purgatory. Not far from the River was the exit from Purgatory to Abaddon. A large expanse of soft grass separated the two realms. It never needed to be trimmed or seeded. It simply was. The gates of Abaddon stood wide open, as we'd left them. I focused, using magic to sharpen my vision. As I looked, three demons ran out of Abaddon and vanished.
Headed to Earth, to the spectral plane to torment humans, no doubt.
With a rock in my gut, I turned toward the wall where the souls pressed against it, the flow building up more and more. "When the River is full, then what? Will they stay on Earth to haunt humans?" The souls crammed against the magical wall looked denser, more plentiful just since I'd last looked at it.
Gabe looked horrified. "That would be terrible."
Michael's eyes filled with tears. "It would. This is terrible already."
If the souls were released on Earth, they'd be ghosts. They'd go to a familiar place. Either where they died, or their former homes, or their loved ones. None of those options was good for humans. Sometimes ghosts were connected to a location or person enough to be able to push through and be seen or heard. And that would be torture to a grieving relative of the dead. Best they moved on. On to the next great adventure.
Enough brooding about the insurmountable job. We had no choice but to try to find Vincent. "He's the only angel in here. We should be able to find him," I said. "Cast your magic. We'll all go in different directions."
They nodded. "I'll go that way," Gabriel said, pointing to the area past the gates of Abaddon.
"Then I'll go there." Michael nodded in the opposite direction. They both gave me a soft kiss and went left and right.
"We'll go straight." I looked out toward the never-ending crowd of souls and tried not to feel disheartened. We'd had setback after setback and blow after blow. Even with all the magic we had, it couldn't find Raphael or break into his realm.
But until I had my daughter in my arms, I wouldn't stop trying. I pumped my wings and rose in the air to fly higher over the souls.
Luc followed me, searching the masses of souls with his eyes as I spread my awareness
throughout them. He pointed out colors that could possibly be Vincent, but I quickly figured out how to dismiss human souls. I didn't really need him helping visually, but he needed to feel useful, too. His daughter was missing, and he didn't even have the magic to help look.
I kept one feeler on Michael and Gabe so I wouldn't lose my sense of what an angel felt like in the mass of human souls. Plus, if they found him while we were connected, I'd know it.
No matter how far we flew, the souls kept going.
Gabe had been right. There were millions of souls here. They floated in their own personal space, with several feet between each of them. No matter how many I delved, doing hundreds or maybe thousands at once, they were human. All human, over and over.
We searched for hours, flying high over the masses, as high as we could go in a realm with no sky. The farther we went, the more hopeless I felt. Shouldn't Vincent have been closer to the gates? He wouldn't have been in here very long. "This is a nightmare," I whispered.
Luc flew closer and took my hand. "It is. This is our nightmare, set up by someone that knew exactly how to create it for us. I'm not sure what we did to deserve this, but if it's a punishment for something, it's working. I definitely feel punished."
I was nearly ready to give up, and not just the search here in Purgatory. The whole mission. I was nearly ready to let Raphael win. I'd do whatever he wanted if he'd let me have Ariel back. Exhaustion began to set over me. We'd never truly recovered from our transition to ethereal bodies. After only a little sleep we'd set off on another mission, another dead-end lead. And Lucifer never had healed from the failed spell. My wings were tired. My arms were tired, though I didn't know why. They didn't help me fly. Lucifer must've been ten times wearier. He hadn't complained though, so I tried not to. I wanted to whine and cry and gnash my teeth and stomp my feet. But I didn't. I kept flying.
"It's time to turn back," Lucifer said.
"A little more," I said. "If you're too tired and need to turn back, you can. I'll meet up with you at the gates." I squeezed his hand and smiled at him as we continued flying farther and farther out. "You've got to be about to drop."
He shook his head. "I'm hardier than you give me credit for. I'm staying with you."
He was right. His strength wasn't all in his magic. He was an incredibly powerful man. Angel.
Just as I sighed and was going to turn to him and admit defeat, I felt Gabe get excited through our bond. His energy washed over me, giving me hope when all seemed hopeless.
What is it? I sent my thoughts to him. We couldn't always converse this way, but I used my magic to make it work for us now. It was too much trouble for day-to-day conversations. Plus if we weren't careful it could get very invasive.
I think I have him.
"He's got him," I whispered, then relayed the information to Michael.
Lucifer grinned as I focused on Gabriel again. "Meet us at the Gates." They were the only way in or out of Purgatory. Once we had Vincent, if we needed to take him out of here, we'd have to go out of the gates.
"Let's go find out what this son of a bitch has to tell us," I said and tugged Luc's hand. We launched ourselves back the way we'd come with renewed vigor.
13
We flew back much faster, and my wings lost their tiredness in the excitement of finding Vincent. My curiosity and hope burned away my exhaustion.
What could he have to say? Why did he try so hard to contact me?
We arrived back at the gates, ignoring all the souls we passed—what else could we do? We couldn't help them, not yet. Gabriel, Michael, and the soul of Vincent were already there. I recognized it immediately. "That's him," I confirmed. It had the same disgusting coloring I remembered.
His soul pulsed when he heard my voice. "Is he awake?" I asked. I poked at him but didn't want to delve into him yet. That could be dangerous.
"Now what?" Lucifer asked. "Can we take him out of here?"
I shrugged. "Even if we do, what will we do with him? He's a pure soul. He needs to be dealt with in Abaddon. We can't take him there."
"There's no way to talk to him that I know of," Michael said. "Except possession." Vincent's soul pulsed again. "Ugh, it seems like that's what he wants."
We all moaned. The thought of being possessed by this sicko was repulsive. Plus, what if he gained the upper hand? In theory, he could take control of my body and leave me a helpless passenger of my own self.
Yeah, right. Like I'd ever let that happen.
"Well, I have no magic to expel him, or I'd volunteer," Luc said. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't be worried about being possessed by the soul of a minor angel, but..." He shrugged. "Sorry."
He was right. Vincent was a minor angel. His powers were negligent next to mine. "I'll do it," I said. I had to hold up my hand against arguments.
Michael and Gabriel were strong, incredibly so. They were among the strongest of all the Archangels. Michael might've been the strongest if they'd ever put it to the test. He probably rivaled me and Lucifer in terms of raw power.
But they weren't the Queen of Hell. And in Abaddon, and by extension, Purgatory, I was stronger still. This was my domain. I drew energy from the very air we breathed.
"I think I'm the only choice," I said. "If we were in Elysium, it would be one of you," I said before they could begin their protestation. They couldn't argue with that. Not that I was allowed in Elysium. Ever again.
Michael rolled his eyes and Gabe pulled me into his arms. "Be careful." They were so sweet and protective. It wasn't easy for them to be able to let go and let me stand on my own, not when they were right there to help. But I'd feel the same way if the situation was reversed. I'd want to help them.
Luc winked at me. He was more the stand back and jump in if absolutely necessary type. He liked to watch the birds fly from the nest and only help when absolutely necessary.
"Of course." As if I wouldn't be careful doing something like this. I sucked in a shuddering breath and turned to the aura that was so repulsive. I knew what his preferences were. Young girls. At least here he wasn't being forced to relive his memories for me to stumble into. As much as he deserved to relive his worst memories, I didn't want to see them.
Holding out my hand, I touched his aura, then trickled magic into it and grabbed it. Before I could change my mind, I hauled it into me fast, like ripping off a bandage or knocking back foul-tasting cough medicine.
Revulsion washed over me, curling my toes and making my stomach lurch. If I thought being pulled into the memory of an evil person was bad, well, this was a hundred times worse.
Vincent's entire demeanor filled me. His negative energy, holy shit, talk about glass half empty. His whole sense of self was dark. Depressing. Evil tendrils snaked around, trying to leech into me and affect my aura.
Not today, buddy.
No wonder he ended up evil. He was beyond broken somewhere. His was the kind of soul that never left Abaddon. He would end up being a demon one day, no doubt about it.
Who is there?
Ah, so he was awake.
This is Lilith.
Surprise registered throughout me. Err... Him. I didn't give him time to get curious. Why did you summon me?
When his surprise switched to relief, I squirmed inside myself. If Vincent had been in a body, he would've been sobbing.
That did not feel good inside me. Eww, I needed this to end quickly.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I spent that time in the River, and I have so many regrets.
His words were nice, and he probably meant them now, but his soul was still black. Still sticky. He wasn't changed, just in a moment of remorse. There was a distinct difference.
What do you want? I wasn't in the mood to hear his apologies.
I broke out of Elysium because I overheard Raphael say Ariel is the key.
My heart lurched with shock and confusion. I looked at my guys and raised my eyebrows. I couldn't relay the information, but I grabbed their arms and attempted to connect to them so
they could hear him, too. Vincent, say that again, please.
He stumbled but started over. I broke out of Elysium. I heard Raphael say Ariel, your daughter, is the Key.
"The Key to what?" Lucifer asked.
It didn't seem that Vincent could hear him, so I relayed the question.
Abaddon. He said she's the most powerful creature he's ever seen, and that includes all the Nephilim he's made over the years. He had no idea my soul was being kept in the weapons room. Joel put me in some sort of box thing.
I didn't know what he was talking about, but I didn't really care, either. All I cared about was what information he had for me. It was easy to tell he spoke the truth with him inside of me. I would've smelled a lie before he even created it.
What else? Can you tell me how to find her?
If he'd had a body he would've sighed, but I got the feeling. When I managed to break out of the box, I ricocheted into Raphael's head. I did get some information, but he expelled me pretty fast. As soon as I was free in Elysium... He went quiet for a few seconds. I got some perspective. It all went bad when my daughter was killed.
I was, of course, curious about that, but I pushed it aside. What else?
She opened the gates of Abaddon. Not Raphael. She was the one that managed it. She's so powerful, he thinks if he can keep her and train her, she'll be more powerful than you and Lucifer put together.
"What about Lucifer's powers?" Gabe asked.
I asked Vincent.
I didn't get anything about that. But there was one more thing about Ariel. He tested it. She was able to open Abaddon, but she can't enter it. She's got a real body, humanistic, but it's more than human. It's something new. She can't go into Elysium either. She can either go to the realm Raphael made for her or Earth. That's it.
Lucifer's jaw dropped. "So even though she's not human, we still can't bring her home."
"We will find a way to make it all work out. We'll find a way to create a million new realms if we have to!"
Do you know anything else that could be helpful?