by Jaymin Eve
It was like I was punishing myself.
No. More.
Tonight I was going to release some tension.
When the final beat of that slow, stunningly beautiful—but possibly designed to torture—song ended, I made a move to step back. Asher didn’t let me go though. If anything, his hold was stronger, and as I tilted my head back to stare into his eyes, wanting to know what he was planning, I choked on my gasp. There was so much going on in those stormy green depths. The gold was almost black as it slashed through the iris.
He never took his gaze from mine, not even for a second, and I was all but trembling in his arms. Fuck. Why did this affect me so much? It hurt, and at the same time I desperately wanted it. I wanted Asher more than I wanted…
Fuck.
He moved fast, and all I saw were dimples and full lips before we were kissing. The first taste stole my soul, and the moment his tongue stroked against mine, I all but moaned out loud. I gave myself that one taste, and then I jerked my head back, and before I could think it through, I punched him. It wasn’t as powerful as I would have liked—our height difference made it hard for me to straight shot the bastard like he deserved.
Of course I barely even moved him, but his head did jerk back as his hands fell off me. Turning on my heels, I stormed away.
How dare he? He’d kissed me not knowing it was me! He kissed another chick, basically, after everything we’d been through, and I hadn’t even wanted to touch myself because it felt fucking disloyal.
I hated him.
“Maddison James,” he said, his voice cutting through the noise of the party.
My march slowed, and I wondered if I’d just imagined him calling my name.
How in the fuck had he known it was me?
Asher was somehow in front of me, filling the world with his energy again, destroying me one minute at a time. “Baby, stop,” he said, reaching out to me. “Please. I can explain.”
My head was spinning, because this was my Asher. The Asher I loved more than anything. But my Asher died months ago, and I couldn’t trust this new stranger who wore his face.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked, wanting at least that answer, and trying to distract from whatever he wanted to explain.
He removed his mask so I could see every part of his perfect face, and I composed myself one more time. “I would know you anywhere,” he said softly. “In the dark. In disguise. When we leave this world and enter the next. There is literally not a place that you can exist where I would not know it was you.”
Motherfucker. The burn of tears had me blinking rapidly to try and hide it. I let the anger that had been swirling inside of me for months rise instead, obliterating the pain. “I don’t know what game you’re playing today, Asher Locke, but I have no time for it. As far as I’m concerned, my Asher died months ago.” He flinched, and I balled my hands at my sides, forcing my face not to react. “Stay out of my way.”
With that, I pushed past him—and all our onlookers—and ran from the dance floor. Shaky breaths heaved in and out of my lungs, and I was dizzy from the emotions smashing through my body and mind. Survival instincts kicked in, giving me the strength to make it out of the room. It wasn’t until I was outside that I remembered I hadn’t walked to this dance. I was now somewhere on the demi-fey side with no real idea of how to get back to the Academy. I mean, I could have attempted a step-through, but I was a bit too drunk to be messing with my powers tonight. I’d probably blow something important up. Like my face.
“Need a hand?”
I spun around to find a familiar green face staring up at me. “Mossie,” I said, hurrying forward, ready to wrap my arms around him in a hug.
“Missed you, Maddison,” he said as he returned my gesture strongly.
I paused. “You know it’s me as well?”
He actually smiled before laughing in his rumbly weird way. “Of course. Fairy magic doesn’t work so well on old goblins.”
That was a good thing to know. “Can you show me how to get back to the Academy?” I asked him, suddenly exhausted with aching feet—heels were the devil’s work. I mean, they even hurt demigods.
Mossie paused. “I’m running security outside, but I think it’ll be okay if I slip away for a minute to help you home.”
“Thanks. If you can get someone to let Ilia and Larissa know, I’d really appreciate that.”
“No need, girl,” Ilia said, appearing out of nowhere and making me jump. “We followed you out.”
Larissa snorted. “Yeah, we would have been here sooner, but Ilia gave Asher a piece of her mind first.”
Ilia muttered bastard under her breath. I adored her loyalty.
“You don’t have to leave just because my night is done,” I said quickly. “Go back and have fun. You both deserve it. I’ll see you for breakfast in the morning.”
Ilia laughed. “You’re crazy, chick. We’re sticking together.”
She winked at Mossie, friendly with the goblin who often helped her when she went out to track down supes. “How do we get out of here, Moss?” she asked. I knew she was more than a little drunk, but the only way to tell in this moment was by how slow and perfectly enunciated each word was.
He shook his head. “Follow me.”
The walk back took almost an hour. We were on the far side of the demi-fey Academy in one of their large halls. On the way, Mossie acted as tour guide, just as he’d done when we’d been searching for the library.
“And here is the swamp,” he said. I could sense how large it was, spanning back almost as far as our ocean. I wondered what lived in there, and for a second my body craved the water so badly that I almost stumbled and tripped.
Dammit. I needed orgasms and swimming. In that order.
And to forget Asher Locke. Fucker.
“He kissed me,” I said softly. “He actually kissed me after everything that he’s put me through over the last few months. Like … one kiss could erase it all.”
The words tumbled out despite my need to not think about what happened.
Ilia and Larissa shot me concerned looks. I could see them from the corner of my eyes, but I kept staring straight ahead, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other. “How did he know it was you?” Larissa asked. “Mab told me that these masks were virtually foolproof.”
“Mossie knew too,” I said, as way of explanation.
The goblin cleared his throat. “The magic of the masks is starting to wear off. That’s the only reason I could feel some of Maddison’s energy. But, like I said, fairy magic doesn’t work so well on goblins.”
“Asher is not fairy or goblin,” Larissa pointed out. “So how did he know?”
His words were burned into my brain. “He said he would know me anywhere. Even in death, we would find each other.”
I choked on the last words, the hot tears I’d been working so hard to fight finally winning, dripping into my mask. “It hurt so much when I thought he had kissed me not knowing who I was. Like he was cheating on me. But it might actually hurt worse that he did know it was me. We’ve got too much damage between us for him to just jump in with a kiss.”
I’d seen the need in his face. I’d felt it too. But my anger at Asher had almost settled permanently into my soul. Enough that if he tried to kiss me again, I might not stop at one punch.
“I’m proud of you,” Ilia said suddenly, shocking me. “I know how hard it must have been to have him touch you like that, but you didn’t cave. You fought back. You showed him how strong you are now.”
I didn’t feel strong. I felt like a swift fucking breeze would shatter me into a million tiny pieces until I was no more than a whisper of a memory. But I’d been in a dark place like this before, and I had come out stronger on the other side.
This would not beat me.
34
Asher
“We pushed it too fucking far,” Calen said, running his hands through his hair. His face was tight with anger, and normally I’d w
orry about that—his fucked-up past often came back to haunt him, and while he’d been dealing better since Maddi came into our lives, lately…
Yeah, I’d worry about Calen more if I didn’t have my own issues to deal with.
“Protecting Maddison has been our goal from the start,” I reminded them. “The gods are not fucking around with this, and until I know the full extent of their plan, we have to be careful.”
We’d learned a lot over the past few weeks. We’d learned that the council of the gods was right now making a decision about Atlantis rising again, and until that was decided, the stasis over the city would remain. We had also learned that the Mother of the gods was stirring for the first time in ten thousand years. No doubt caused by Galindra and whatever she had planned.
“You didn’t keep your distance tonight,” Jesse said in a rumble of lion. “You kissed her, bro. We all saw it.”
Jesse cared too deeply for Maddison, but I couldn’t fault him. He’d been there for her multiple times when I couldn’t, and in my heart I knew he was probably a more stable mate for her. If I were a better supe, I’d give her up for Jesse. But I couldn’t do it. Not even for Maddison. I was just too fucking selfish, and I needed her. I craved her.
She was mine.
“I made a mistake,” I admitted roughly. “She just looked so beautiful tonight, and … happy. I needed one second to touch her.” I chuckled darkly. “My weakness is Maddison. It always has been.” The morose laughter faded as I stared out across the Academy, resting my elbows on the railings. “In truth, I’m not sure I can keep this up any longer. By protecting her, I’m also destroying her. Destroying us both. Galindra warned me that I could never have a mate, because my loyalty would only ever be to her. She wants my focus. My power. My strength to be hers and hers alone.”
It was fucking disturbing, the way she talked and touched me. Not like a mother. I’d been thankful with the city rising that she’d been too distracted to take it further, but it was only a matter of time before she pushed again. “Not just me … the five of us. She will kill anyone who gets in her way. We’ve been protecting Maddison, Ilia, and Larissa … we’ve had no fucking choice. But…”
I couldn’t keep it up.
“We still haven’t figured out how to take Galindra down though,” Rone reminded me, perched back on the railing, one leg up as he stared out as well. “The last spell you used was to destroy gods inhabiting supe bodies. It won’t work on gods in their own bodies. We need something stronger.”
I’d been searching, but the best I’d found was a spell to place a god into stasis. It was my backup plan though, because it would be very difficult to follow all the requirements of that particular spell. Besides, I wanted them dead. Never able to touch or threaten Maddison again.
“Maddison and her friends are strong, smart, and resourceful,” Axl said, sounding as fucked off as he had for the past few months. He’d agreed to my plan, but he hadn’t liked it. “By keeping her in the dark, you’ve lost an important ally in fighting this battle.”
Fuck. I slammed my hand against the post, rattling the side of the house. “You’re right. I know this. But you also didn’t see Galindra. You didn’t feel her power. She held me prisoner. I was completely at her mercy. If she didn’t think she needed me … needed us, she would flick her fingers and turn us into dust without a second thought.”
Something I’d seen her do to multiple supes and even a few lesser gods who got in her way.
“We’re missing something about the three of you though,” Axl added, his fingers moving like he was wishing for his magical pen and paper. “There was something about your births that scared the other gods. Scared the Mother of all, if you’re correct and she is the one who sank Atlantis. We need to figure out what that is, and splitting you three up is not the way to do it.”
He was right. I’d had that burning thought every single day since I was destroyed and reborn in the waters of my birth. “Everything inside me is saying you’re right,” I said to Axl, “but I’m scared that these feelings are because I crave Maddison. I fucking love her. Living without her like this is worse than death.”
If Galindra won this battle … if Maddison was taken from me, then I would figure out a way to follow, because an eternity walking this earth without my mate was not something I would even consider. Not for a single second.
Jesse stood and slapped a hand on my shoulder, and for the first time in a long time I felt like the five of us were in sync again. The bond between us hummed as if it was reiterating my feelings. “In this situation, I think we all need to be selfish,” he said. “The five of us can’t function without Maddison. We’re all fucking messes … you the most. I’m not sure you’ve slept more than two hours a night since you got back. It can’t keep going like this. It’s time to get Maddison back.”
He was right. And I was too selfish to fight it any longer.
“It’s not going to be as easy as that,” Rone said, sadness ringing in his words. The five of us had been morose assholes since we started trying to protect Maddison by distancing ourselves from her. “They hate us. She punched Asher tonight.”
A grin tipped up my lips. “Fucking hurt too. My little spitfire.”
I was so proud of her for standing her ground tonight. I deserved to get punched. I deserved a lot more than that.
“I’m going to find her and explain exactly what happened,” I decided. “Hopefully she’ll hear me out.”
“Use the pool as a bribe,” Rone suggested. “We know she snuck in while we were gone, so she must still be avoiding the ocean.”
Rage blurred my vision for a moment, and the sky above us darkened with my anger. It’d been doing that a lot lately. Just another new power to add to my fucking god arsenal. Something I’d give up in a heartbeat just to go back to my previous life with Maddison.
“We still haven’t confirmed who was in the water world that day,” I growled.
Axl stood a little straighter, stretching out his back. He’d been sleeping about as much as me lately, researching into the early hours of every morning. “My money is still on Sonaris. I’ve been studying all the gods and their powers closely, categorizing everything, and … he makes the most sense.”
He did, but why would he target Maddison. The gods were playing their fucked-up games, and we were caught up in the bullshit.
The sun started to rise as my impromptu storm died off, and I stepped back from the railing.
“This might be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” I admitted softly.
They all turned to me.
“Winning Maddison back. I deserve her anger, and she’s so stubborn. I’m not sure she’ll ever let it go.”
Jesse smiled, a genuine smile for once. “She’s also smart, strong, and compassionate. She will understand. Just tell her the truth and let her know that we will prove our love and loyalty to her.”
I would do more than that.
35
The night of the dance, I slept a full night, waking with a heavy heart around lunchtime. There were no classes today, and I wondered if I could just stay in bed. Everyone needed a mental health day on occasion. I’d been saying for a while now that I was due.
Only the universe apparently disagreed, because just as I started to drift off there was a heavy-handed knock on the door. I waited a few minutes to see if Ilia or Larissa were going to just barge in, but they didn’t.
That meant it was someone else.
With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed just as another knock sounded. “Be right there,” I shouted, scrounging around the clothes on my floor to try and find something to wear. I usually slept naked or just in panties. As annoyed as I was, there was no reason to flash them my goods.
Finally I found a band shirt that didn’t smell bad and some sweatpants. “Yes,” I said in annoyance as I pulled my door open. Princeps Jones was there, and I paused because this was unusual.
“Atlantis?” I said quickly, not having any ot
her idea what it might be.
He shook his head. “No, and I’m sorry to disturb you so early, but I just got a call through about Kate and Chellie’s trial. It’s been moved up to tomorrow, so we need to head to Germany.”
I swallowed hard. Shit. “Okay, totally was not expecting that. I’m being called as a witness?”
He nodded. “Yes. You and Asher will need to appear and give testimony. I was hoping your written statement would be enough, but apparently they’ve had a few cases of fraud in regard to this method lately, even when using magical parchment. For a trial like this, the council is insisting we have live witness statements.”
I was slow this morning, because it took me a few seconds to register that he’d said my name and Asher’s.
“Asher is coming too?”
I didn’t know why I asked. Of course he was. He was a key witness in this entire thing too. Fuck.
Princeps Jones nodded and then checked his watch. “Yes! And the plane leaves in forty minutes. Pack something businesslike for the trial and a few changes of clothing, because I’m not sure exactly how long we’ll stay.”
He turned to leave, calling back over his shoulder. “Larissa organized a new phone for you as well. I left it on your bed. Meet you at the front entrance asap.”
He left, and I looked at my bed in surprise. How...? Sure enough, there was as shiny new smartphone sitting there. Vampire speed.
Seriously. Sometimes this new world I’d found myself in was scary as fuck. Sometimes. Ha!
Remembering that this was urgent, I grabbed my toiletries and some comfy clothes for travel and rushed to the bathroom. Three minutes later, I was somewhat clean and awake, teeth brushed and clothes on. I didn’t bother with makeup, because there was no time, but I threw a small bag into my overnight case for the trial. No way was I letting those bitches see me looking like a bedraggled mess. Not when they’d kidnapped me and almost got Asher and me killed. It amused me that Connor wasn’t coming as well, since he was basically the dickhead behind the kidnapping, but as always he’d managed to slip under the radar. Shera took the blame for that, and Connor was the poor deluded Arterian.