by Ronica Black
“Yes,” Janice said. “I understand because my love for you goes beyond everything and anyone else. It goes beyond me. I know that now. I know that nothing I fear is worth losing you over. Nothing.” She kissed her neck, creating a trail down to the dip at her collarbone. Carla felt her breathe deeply as she paused there. “I have missed you so much,” she said. “I thought I’d never get to kiss you right here again, in my favorite spot, where I could rest my head and breathe in your scent for eternity.”
Carla shuddered as she placed more tiny kisses on her awakening skin, this time creating a trail that led into the satin edge of her robe, which she carefully pushed open farther to kiss along her shoulder. She was sparking her desire, one purposely delivered delicate kiss after another.
Carla hurried to speak.
“I almost cried when I saw your luggage and saw that you hadn’t packed light. My heart leapt, hoping it meant you had come with the intention of staying a while. Now, with what I just heard you say and with what you’re doing to me with your mouth, I’m about to either cry all over again or lose control and ravish you. So, please, tell me you’re here to stay for a while. That you’re going to stay a while.”
“I am.”
“With me?”
Janice touched her cheek. “If you’ll have me.”
Carla closed her eyes. “Oh, my God, yes.” She opened them and took her in as if seeing her for the very first time. She picked her up. “I’ll definitely have you.” She turned, ready to carry her away. “But you get to choose where. Because I don’t think I can wait until we reach the bedroom. To me the couch is looking pretty damn good. But I’ll go wherever you want. It’s your call.”
Janice grinned. “The bedroom.”
Carla groaned. “You’re evil.” She carried her down the hallway to the bedroom and released her by the bed. Janice stood before her, the shyness in her gone, grin still on her face.
“My bed isn’t near as romantic as yours,” Carla said.
“As long as it has you in it, it is.” She reached up, touched her face again. “But the bed isn’t what I had in mind.”
“No?”
She pushed on her shoulders. “No. Because I’m feeling a little like you. Like I can’t wait. Like I don’t want to wait. Like I don’t want to go slow.” She backed her to the wall. “I want to touch you now. Feel your body now.” She tugged on her belt and forced open her robe. She grazed her hand up her thigh. “You smelling so good, all wet from your bath, that robe clinging to you. I may have come here to apologize and to tell you I love you, but I was seriously tempted to throw all that to the wayside and have you first. I’m surprised I didn’t jump you at the door, scared or not. That’s how badly I want you.”
She leaned in, kissed her neck again, and teased her between her legs with her fingertips.
“Because taking you right then and there was what I really wanted to do. And I think now I’m going to be all about doing what I want. Especially when it comes to you.”
Carla saw the flash of hunger in her eyes, heard how her words were dripping with determined desire.
“I’m so fucking turned on I’m speechless. Motionless.” She swallowed hard. “I’m helplessly yours, Janice.”
“Good. Because I’m about to make another one of my dreams come true.”
She slid her hand into her aching flesh and just as Carla cried out, she took her mouth with hers and devoured her audible pleasure, as if eliciting it with her fingers weren’t enough. She had to taste it as Carla expelled it.
And she kept on, giving and then consuming, with seemingly no intention of stopping. Carla couldn’t resist, couldn’t plead for sweet mercy, not even when she began to quiver, and her legs began to buckle, and she was sure she was going to slide down the wall. Janice didn’t let up, and Carla, whether she feared falling or not, had no choice but to completely relent, body and soul and give herself to the woman she loved.
To the woman who, she now wholeheartedly believed, loved her.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Janice set the large gift box she was carrying on the table in front of Carla. She tried, but she couldn’t hold back the smile that was intent on spreading across her face. The last two weeks had somehow even surpassed what they’d shared in North Carolina. Their time together in Carla’s home and when they managed to force themselves out of the bed to go out, had been filled with emotion, passion, and discovery. Janice had shared things with Carla that she’d never shared with anyone else. She told her how she felt, how she’d struggled with her attraction to her, caught up in both fear and overwhelming excitement. She’d done her best to answer the questions Carla had asked again, this time while Janice was curled up in her arms. She’d told her about her avid interest in Arizona and how she’d been reading about it for months, until her curiosity and interest had evolved into wanting to experience it firsthand. But she’d convinced herself it was just a dream knowing she would most likely love Arizona, based on what she’d seen and learned, and the mere possibility of that had consumed her with guilt. How could she leave the place that had always been her home? How could she leave Maurine and her other loved ones?
“What’s this?” Carla’s eyes were that deeper shade of gold that Janice now knew to be reticent of sleep. She was completely clueless to her beauty as she sat running her hand through her hair which was mussed from sleep and other certain activities. Activities that had caused Janice to run her hands through her hair, tangling and tugging, pleading and insisting. Her smile grew as she thought about yet another shared night of unbridled passion. Carla sitting there looking so sweet in her confusion, wearing nothing but her gray cotton sleep bra and matching shorts had Janice suddenly eager for a repeat of the night before.
How long will we be able to wait today? An hour? Possibly two, before we have to touch each other again? Two would be a record.
“A present,” Janice said. “I thought for sure the wrapping and the big red bow would be a dead giveaway.” She settled in across from her and rested her chin in her hand.
Carla gave her a look.
God, how I love her. Will it always be this good?
She thought about the future, near and far, and she was left feeling calm and assured, knowing that their love would grow and deepen. She imagined them waking next to each other and then coming home to each other at night. Nothing in the world sounded better and she knew Carla felt the same. She hadn’t been able to hide her excitement when Janice had told her she’d resigned from her job, ready to step out into the world to see where the road took her. And Carla had brought up the future and their being together a few times since then, and Janice could tell she was testing the water. Janice had wanted to jump on her and bounce up and down and proudly declare that she wanted to be with her more than anything, but she’d held back, preferring to wait for the right moment. She had hopes that the right moment would present itself today. Maybe even very soon.
“I considered breakfast to be a gift,” Carla said. “I didn’t expect this.”
“It’s your birthday, Carla, and our last day together before you go back to work. So, breakfast was nothing. The gifts, this being one of them, will be plentiful and given throughout the day.”
Carla raised her eyebrows.
“Don’t argue with me, Sims. This is what I want to do to celebrate your birthday. I want to spoil you, show you how much I cherish you. Especially since this expert in literature seems to have trouble expressing her feelings through words alone.”
“You’re getting better. You’re just not used to doing it, so it might take some time. And I told you to stop feeling so guilty about keeping everything inside. You were experiencing a lot while I was there, and most of it for the first time.”
“Even so.” She sighed. “Giving, like this, is something I know I’m good at.”
“You give me plenty,” Carla said. “More than enough.”
“Will you just open the gift? You don’t know how difficult it’s bee
n keeping it from you.”
Carla tore away the paper and lifted the lid off the box. “No way.” She seemed completely surprised, completely taken aback. “This—it’s—I can’t believe it. You’re giving this to me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Carla, yes, I’m sure. I remember your reaction when you first saw it and from that moment on it became yours. I thought of you every second I spent finishing it, especially when you were right there, in the room next to me as I worked on it. It was made for you. I want you to have it.”
Carla held the glossy, intricately painted chess pieces up and examined them, her face lit up in excitement and awe. “So, this was what was in that box that came soon after you arrived? The one you raced to the door for and wouldn’t let me anywhere near? Even though it had my name and address on it?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m glad you stayed,” she said. “To intercept the box and give me the gift yourself.”
She finally looked at Janice and appeared to be so moved she was on the verge of tears.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I don’t know what else to say. I’m overwhelmed.”
“Don’t say anything. I’m content just sitting here watching you, basking in your happiness.”
Carla rose and came to her side. She knelt and kissed her. “It’s the best, most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me. I can’t even imagine you giving me any more.”
“Well, whether you can imagine it or not, it’s happening.” She stood alongside her and led her by the hand to the living room. “Sit.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Janice sat next to her and handed her the old shoebox she’d set on the coffee table. “This one isn’t wrapped.”
“Okay.”
“It doesn’t need to be. It represents something more than a birthday gift.” She nodded toward the box, encouraging her to open it.
Carla removed the lid. “What is it?” She looked at her. “Do these belong to you?”
“They do now.”
Carla picked up photo after photo.
“That’s my great-aunt Gale,” Janice said, pointing. “And that is Liza.”
Carla studied the women closely, picture after picture.
“They were a couple,” she eventually said. “They were in love.”
“Yes,” Janice whispered.
Carla smiled, wistful. “They were beautiful. And they look so happy.”
“They were. But unfortunately, their time together was tragically cut short. Nevertheless, their love lives on.” She reached in the box and held up some of the letters. “You can see a lot in the pictures,” she said. “How close they were, how happy they were. But these tell you how they felt, what they thought, and just how much in love they really were.”
Carla slowly took one and unfolded it. She read quietly. “Oh, my God.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Are they all like this?”
“If you mean deep, passionate and detailed, yes.”
“This is—am I blushing? I feel like I should be blushing.”
Janice laughed. “They, unlike me, certainly seemed to have no trouble in expressing themselves.” She lightly touched her forearm. “I’m thankful that they could write so well, that they could tell each other how they felt because their feelings and their words helped put to voice just how much I feel for you. They said what I felt, what I wanted to say but wasn’t able to. Their love gave me the strength to follow my heart. To come to you. To find my way…home.”
Janice dipped her hand in her robe pocket and pulled out the gold necklace she’d brought with her. Carla eyed it and then eyed her. Janice unclasped it. “I want you to have this.” She wrapped it around her neck and fastened it. “It’s similar to the one Gale gave Liza. Like the one she’s wearing in all the pictures.”
Carla fingered the charm. “It’s a heart.”
Janice nodded. “It’s my heart. You now officially have my heart, Carla Sims.”
Carla placed the box back on the table. She slid her hand along Janice’s neck and buried her fingers in her hair. “Then you’re absolutely right. That box and everything it represents means so much more than any other gift ever could. It brought your feelings to light and it brought you to me.” She leaned in and softly kissed her. “It brought you…home.”
Janice began to tremble, like she had the night she’d arrived. Only now it wasn’t from nerves or from fear of rejection. It was from being gently pulled in and enveloped in love.
“Please tell me you’ll stay,” Carla said. “Not just for a while. Or an extended visit. But for forever.”
Janice smiled as a tear slid down her face. She nodded. “If you’ll have me.”
Carla grinned. “Oh, I’ll have you.” She tugged her closer, pulled her onto her lap. She traced her fingertip around Janice’s heart. “This doesn’t mean you’ll be anything less than who you are or in any way devalue where you come from. It won’t make you any less southern.” She squeezed her. “Well, maybe a little. But only as much as you allow. Only as much as you want.” She lightly poked her chest. “You’ll still have plenty of that red mud flowing through your veins.”
“I know. I realize that now. And I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, deny how much I love it here.”
“The desert, the dirt, and the heat?”
“Yep. Even the heat. I love it all. The raw, rugged beauty, the majesty of the purple mountains and the one other thing North Carolina doesn’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“You.”
“Oh, you’re laying it on thick now, Carpenter.”
Janice laughed and wrapped her arms around her neck.
Carla looked deep into her eyes and kissed her. And then she said the words Janice had only ever heard in her dreams.
“Then welcome home, baby. Welcome home.”
The End
About the Author
Ronica Black lives in the desert Southwest with her menagerie of animals and her menagerie of art. When she’s not writing, she’s still creating, whether drawing, painting, or woodworking. She loves long walks into the sunset, rescuing animals, anything pertaining to art, and spending time with those she loves. When she can, she enjoys returning to her roots in North Carolina where she can sit back on the porch with family and friends, catch up on all the gossip, and relish an ice cold Cheerwine.
Ronica is a two-time Golden Crown Literary Society Goldie Award winner and a three-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Awards.
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
A Love that Leads to Home by Ronica Black. For Carla Sims and Janice Carpenter, home isn’t about location, it’s where your heart is. (978-1-63555-675-9)
Blades of Bluegrass by D. Jackson Leigh. A US Army occupational therapist must rehab a bitter veteran who is a ticking political time bomb the military is desperate to disarm. (978-1-63555-637-7)
Guarding Hearts by Jaycie Morrison. As treachery and temptation threaten the women of the Women’s Army Corps, who will risk it all for love? (978-1-63555-806-7)
Hopeless Romantic by Georgia Beers. Can a jaded wedding planner and an optimistic divorce attorney possibly find a future together? (978-1-63555-650-6)
Hopes and Dreams by PJ Trebelhorn. Movie theater manager Riley Warren is forced to face her high school crush and tormentor, wealthy socialite Victoria Thayer, at their twentieth reunion. (978-1-63555-670-4)
In the Cards by Kimberly Cooper Griffin. Daria and Phaedra are about to discover that love finds a way, especially when powers outside their control are at play. (978-1-63555-717-6)
Moon Fever by Ileandra Young. SPEAR agent Danika Karson must clear her werewolf friend of multiple false charges while teaching her vampire girlfriend to resist the blood mania brought on by a full moon. (978-1-63555-603-2)
Quake City by St John Karp. Can Andre find his best friend Amy before the night devolves into a
nightmare of broken hearts, malevolent drag queens, and spontaneous human combustion? Or has it always happened this way, every night, at Aunty Bob’s Quake City Club? (978-1-63555-723-7)
Serenity by Jesse J. Thoma. For Kit Marsden, there are many things in life she cannot change. Serenity is in the acceptance. (978-1-63555-713-8)
Sylver and Gold by Michelle Larkin. Working feverishly to find a killer before he strikes again, Boston Homicide Detective Reid Sylver and rookie cop London Gold are blindsided by their chemistry and developing attraction. (978-1-63555-611-7)
Trade Secrets by Kathleen Knowles. In Silicon Valley, love and business are a volatile mix for clinical lab scientist Tony Leung and venture capitalist Sheila Garrison. (978-1-63555-642-1)
Death Overdue by David S. Pederson. Did Heath turn to murder in an alcohol induced haze to solve the problem of his blackmailer, or was it someone else who brought about a death overdue? (978-1-63555-711-4)
Entangled by Melissa Brayden. Becca Crawford is the perfect person to head up the Jade Hotel, if only the captivating owner of the local vineyard would get on board with her plan and stop badmouthing the hotel to everyone in town. (978-1-63555-709-1)
First Do No Harm by Emily Smith. Pierce and Cassidy are about to discover that when it comes to love, sometimes you have to risk it all to have it all. (978-1-63555-699-5)
Kiss Me Every Day by Dena Blake. For Wynn Evans, wishing for a do-over with Carly Jamison was a long shot, actually getting one was a game changer. (978-1-63555-551-6)
Olivia by Genevieve McCluer. In this lesbian Shakespeare adaption with vampires, Olivia is a centuries old vampire who must fight a strange figure from her past if she wants a chance at happiness. (978-1-63555-701-5)