by Kade Boehme
Ray chuckled. “Well, that’s the oldest story in the book. You want what you can’t have. Again, is it worth it? Does it hurt your heart or does it hurt your balls?”
Gavin choked on the whiskey he’d been sipping. Fuck if that didn’t burn his throat. “Fuck!” he rasped. Ray laughed a belly laugh, and through the burn of the whiskey Gavin still felt that warm laugh down into his soul. He didn’t know what he’d do without the old bastard and he said as much.
“You’d never win a hand of poker in your life.” Ray started dealing cards again. “Way I see it, you’ve used that thing between your legs enough to know the difference in whether you’re wanting with it or wanting with that thing beating in your scrawny chest.”
Gavin stewed on that. He pulled out his memories of Davy and played them over in his head. The smiles, the banter, the blushes. Yeah. He barely knew Soda Shop Boy, but something about Davy was different. Or maybe he just needed a good roll in the sack with the guy.
“Lord, boy, stop your drooling and play cards. Shameless.”
Gavin gave his cockiest grin and pointed at Ray with his cards. “I learned from the best.”
Ray gave a sniff that was much daintier than a man of his gruff nature should be able to muster. “It’s your go. Lay down a damn card.” Gavin did as he was told, but never stopped smiling.
Chapter Four
Gavin had been so lost in thought that he didn’t hear Sean’s approach, so the fingers snapping in his face to get his attention almost got broken when he gripped them and jerked the offender to the ground. When he realized the person blinking up at him with owlish eyes was his best friend, he grimaced. “Oh shit, dude. I’m so sorry.” He offered his hand to help Sean up but Sean swatted it away. Sean scowled while he dusted himself off.
“Well, I see you’re in a good mood today,” Sean said acerbically. Gavin, feeling sufficiently chastened, held out the coffee he’d picked up for his friend, using it now as a peace offering.
“Sorry. I was a million miles away.”
“No shit,” Sean groused as he headed toward one of the benches. Gavin hated to leave his perch overlooking Elliot Bay. The park was teeming with tourists. It was a beautiful spring day boasting a rare eighty degrees and a clear sky. Losing himself staring out over the sparkling water of the sound had been a rare moment of peace. His thoughts hadn’t turned maudlin. He was ashamed to say that more often than not he was throwing a pity party for himself these days. He hated it. That wasn’t him.
“Yo, Gav. You in there?” Sean was looking at him expectantly. He hadn’t realized he’d wandered off in his mind again.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” He followed Sean’s lead and took a seat on an empty bench by a group of homeless people who were passing around a bottle of booze and stretching out in the sun like lounging house cats with a communal bowl of cream.
“I asked how your gramps is doing. You said he had an appointment with his doctor today.”
Gavin watched a toothless woman take a long pull from the bottle of cheap vodka she was sharing with her disenfranchised crew. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Sean, not wanting to see any pity in his expression. Sean had been around through the lengthy battle Ray had waged against his pancreatic cancer. “Oncologist again. He wouldn’t let me go.” Gavin knew his expression was probably bitter, but he was annoyed that he’d been banned from the appointment. “Now that he’s finished radiation they’re gonna tell him what the latest tests have to say. We’ll know where we stand after this.”
“You know he wants you there, he’s just trying to protect you from all this crap.”
“It’s hard but he’s all I’ve got. I wanna know what we’re up against.”
“Dude, that’s why he went alone. He knows if it’s bad news it’ll kill you. You’ve fought the whole way with him, so maybe he didn’t want this one to be your burden to bear too.” Sean patted Gavin’s shoulder. Gavin appreciated what his friend was saying. He was just scared. Not that he’d ever admit that.
He shrugged Sean off and chugged the last of his own coffee. “Wanna go to Bart’s with me after work?”
“You have no shame.”
“So I’ve heard.” He crushed his cup, balled it up, and tossed it like a basketball into the trash can across the path from their bench, sinking it in one shot. He threw a cocky smirk Sean’s way.
“You know I know you well enough to know you’re not the badass you think you are.” Sean just shook his head. Yeah, Sean more than anyone knew that three-fourths of Gavin’s swagger was posturing against the world that had fucked him raw most of his life. But he was no victim. When he’d moved to Seattle four years earlier, he’d promised himself he was gonna fuck the world right back. He’d met Sean his first night at the gay bar. Sean had seen Gavin leaving the bathroom with the first of many conquests, laughed, and commented on how fucked up his hat hair was. That was when he lost his first beanie. He was pissed, and not just at being picked on. But Sean saw past the chip on his shoulder and ignored that. They’d gone out for pizza after that, and Sean introduced Gavin to his friends Nate and Devon, and the rest was history. He’d lived it up and enjoyed school and hanging out with the guys when they weren’t working at the market. So far he’d made life his bitch.
Until that one day last year that Ray came home, pulled out the whiskey, and announced he had cancer. Inoperable. Gavin hated that word.
He couldn’t sit anymore, so he jumped up and walked back over to the rails where he’d been looking out over the flowing traffic on the Alaskan Way Viaduct and the glimmer of the sun off the water of the bay on the other side. In his peripheral vision he saw Sean lean on the rail next to him, squinting his dark eyes against the sun. Gavin could appreciate how attractive Sean was with his fine Hispanic features. If Gavin was the dating type, he might even have found that Sean was the perfect boyfriend. He was a genuinely good guy. But Gavin wasn’t the dating type and he just couldn’t think of Sean that way.
“So you’re not throwing in the towel, huh?” Sean teased, obviously trying to lighten the mood. Good ol’ Sean.
“No way! That’s one Grade-A piece of ass. That’d be like the ’Hawks giving up on a chance at the Super Bowl.”
Sean laughed and Gavin knew it was at him not with him. Douche. “Gavin, man, maybe you should try just being the guy’s friend.” Gavin looked at him incredulously but before he could respond Sean threw his hands up to silence him. “I’m just sayin’. The guy seems to be short on friends. He was all alone at the club the other night. I saw him sitting in the booth by himself for a long time before I figured out it was him. That’s just sad, dude. Quiet as he is it don’t surprise me, though.”
Gavin weighed this information for a moment, trying to think how he could best use it to his advantage. Sean punched him in the shoulder. “You’re such a dick, Gavin. I know exactly what you’re thinking and it’s shitty.”
“You have no idea what I’m thinking.” Gavin rubbed his shoulder. That punch hurt, dammit.
“No? You’re not thinking you’ll try to be his friend then make your move when he’s all comfortable with you?”
Shit. Maybe Sean knew him too well. “The best sex happens among friends.” Gavin thought it sounded reasonable.
“You’re such an ass. And if you ever put the moves on me, I’ll break your dick off.”
Gavin had a good comeback for that, but before he could get it out there was a commotion that got his and Sean’s attention. Some dickhead in a suit was yelling at a cute guy for bumping into him. As crowded as this part of town got it was just a part of life, and it looked like the cute guy had dropped his bag, his papers and books scattered everywhere. Sean mumbled something about the guy being an asshole just as it dawned on Gavin that the cute guy who was fumbling to pick up his scattered belongings while stammering apologies was Soda Shop Davy. He was moving toward the action, which was drawing more than a few stares before he could stop himself. He may be a dick himself, but he’d never treat a stran
ger like that. Then the guy started kicking at Davy’s books and putting on some pathetic display he’d never have gotten away with if it had been any other guy on the street.
As Gavin bolted toward Davy and the guy, he heard Sean call him back, but he had one objective. He snatched the weasel in the suit by his designer collar and reared back to hit the fucker in his mouth. Before he could let his fist fly a hand gripped his bicep firmly. He snapped his head around and was face-to-face with Davy, who was shaking his head and saying, “No, Gavin. No, no, no.”
“This fucker giving you trouble, Davy?”
“Gavin, stop. It’s okay. I ran into him. It was just an accident.”
“Looked like he was fucking with you to me.” Gavin snarled in the weasel’s face. The guy was cowering, eyes wide with his hands in front of his face. Gavin had at least five inches on the asshole—hell, Davy did too for that matter.
“Gav, c’mon, man. This is not worth it.” Sean put his hand on Gavin’s other shoulder. Gavin breathed heavily for a moment and tried to get a grip. Why was he being so protective? He was acting as though he was standing up for his boyfriend. The word mine had tasted bad in his mouth as he ran to Davy’s defense. He just wanted to fuck Davy, not marry him.
He let the guy go with a hard shove that made Weasel Man drop his briefcase. “Learn some fucking manners, asshole!” He snarled at the guy again as the dude made a hasty retreat. There was a smattering of applause, but there were more people leaning in whispering to their friends and staring. There were also a few Asian tourists with large smiles and snapping cameras. He was apparently more interesting than the chick who’d painted her body in bronze and pretended to be a statue just ten feet from him. She looked at him as though he’d snatched a john from her. Who gets mad at someone for doing a good deed? “Get a real job, lady.” He flipped her off. Behind him Sean sounded exasperated with a “Nice, Gavin. Real nice.” But the chick just flipped him off right back and wandered off to greener pastures.
“You okay, Davy?” He squatted to help pick up the errant papers and books. A few had shoe prints from where Weasel Man had kicked them. Davy wanted to chase douchebag down and beat his ass. It looked as though he’d damaged some textbooks, and Lord knew those weren’t cheap.
“Yeah. It was my fault.” Davy was mumbling, so Gavin barely heard it but when he figured out what Davy said, his hackles rose. He grabbed Davy by the collar of hispowder-blue polo shirt he was wearing. Damn, that color brings out his eyes. “Get one thing straight, Davy. This is the market. People run into each other all the time. His fancy suit didn’t give him the right to talk down to you like that. So don’t let me hear you say it was your fault again. You had nothing to apologize for.”
Davy’s pupils dilated and he licked his rosy bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Gavin’s cock was very interested in seeing Davy do that again. Damn that kid for being so hot. And if Gavin wasn’t mistaken, Davy was just as affected by his close proximity. He quirked an eyebrow at Davy, then let him go and smoothed out his shirt for him.
“Okay….” Sean’s eyes lit up, bemused. Damn. Gavin had forgotten he was there. “While you guys are macking on each other in public, I’m gonna head to work. I’m already late.” Davy blushed and busied himself shoving things back into his messenger bag. “Oh no. Don’t stop on my account. The Asian ladies aren’t finished taking pictures of you.” Sean pointed to where the camera-wielding tourists were still tittering together, watching them. Davy’s face turned a nice shade of crimson as he turned his back to the ladies. Gavin and Sean traded a look of amusement and tried to hold back laughter.
Gavin was about to head over to the stack of papers and books he’d gathered when he saw the bright-yellow flyer on top. “Hey, you like the Jawbreakers?” He was surprised. Davy didn’t seem like the house-music, club-kid type. Davy snatched the stack from Gavin with a “thanks,” but Gavin saw an opening and he was gonna take it. He had just made a fool out of himself for Davy, so the least Davy could do was answer a simple question.
“You going to the show?” Gavin persisted.
Davy was hesitant but he eventually shrugged. “I’m not sure. I like them, but I think the show is sold out.”
Gavin gave Davy his most winning smile. “You’re in luck. I’m going and a friend backed out. I happen to have an extra ticket. You should come with.” Davy opened his mouth to protest but Gavin spoke over his objection. “It’ll just go to waste and I don’t want to go alone.” Davy’s expression was dubious at best. “Just as friends! Don’t make me go alone. None of my friends like dubstep. You owe me for being your knight in shining armor, anyway.” Davy scoffed at that. “Please?” Gavin tried for an angelic expression that got him an eye roll from Davy, but he got those from Davy quite often, so he wasn’t discouraged. “If you have a horrible time, I’ll never ask you to go anywhere with me again.”
Davy was clearly calling bullshit on that one. “Seriously?”
“Cross my heart.” He made an X over his heart.
“Okay.” Davy looked as though he couldn’t believe he’d agreed to it, then nodded as though he’d accepted his fate.
“Awesome!” Gavin gave Davy a playful punch to the shoulder.
“But I’ll meet you there, okay?”
Gavin preferred picking the guy up but he’d play by Davy’s rules just this once. “Perfect. I’ll be waiting outside at seven thirty.”
Gavin nodded again. “Okay. I’ll be there.” He put his bag back over his shoulder and took a step back from Gavin. “Well, I should get to work too. You guys have a good day. I’ll, uh, see you Thursday then.” Then he turned and headed off down the sidewalk at a brisk pace. Damn, those jeans fit that ass just right. Gavin’s cock agreed as it plumped in his shorts.
When Davy was out of earshot Gavin gave a triumphant “Yessss!”
“So I’m guessing I’m out of a ticket, huh?” Gavin jumped at the sound of Sean’s voice.
“Dude, you scared the hell out of me!” Sean had his hands crossed over his chest, but he didn’t seem pissed. “Er. Yeah. I’ll make it up to you, though.”
Sean waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. Just don’t fuck up with that guy, okay.” Gavin tried his best who, me? routine but Sean didn’t bite. “You’re such an ass,” Sean said affectionately. And with that, he left Gavin at the mercy of the Asian ladies who were looking at him with flirting eyes and rosy cheeks. Being the smart-ass he was, he did the only thing that seemed appropriate now.
He took a bow.
Chapter Five
The concert was in the Industrial District in a converted warehouse. The neighborhood was close to the water and had a dingy covering of dirt over all of the buildings that made everything look gray. Davy had never been a fan of the area. There wasn’t much to do other than go to one of the few bars which were mostly populated with frat-boys, metal heads, or Seattle’s version of rednecks. He hadn’t even heard of the large club that the concert was housed in until he saw one of his favorite bands would be performing there tonight.
Davy still wasn’t sure why in the hell he’d said yes to Gavin. That feeling grew with each passing moment. He was nervous, trying to fend off a panic attack. Not only had he agreed to be around a ridiculous amount of people but he would be there with Gavin. And none of the people there looked like Davy’s kind of crowd. Not that anyone was really his kind of crowd, but these were hard-core club kids wearing bright colors, short skirts, stilettos, and random accessories that had blinking lights in them. Hope there are no epileptics attending tonight.
Adding to his nerves, Gavin said they were there just as friends but Davy wasn’t sure he trusted that. Although, after being sufficiently emasculated in public by that jackass in the park on Monday morning and then again when Gavin swooped in to defend him, he couldn’t imagine that Gavin saw him as anything other than the pitiful creature he’d come across as.
Not that he wanted Gavin to think of him any other way. Well, maybe not the pitiful part, but h
e didn’t exactly trust guys enough to want to date anyone, and Gavin didn’t have a trustworthy bone in his body. The guy may be sex from head to toe, but that predatory gleam to his eyes left Davy feeling let down when he’d realized that Gavin had only helped him in the park so he could manipulate him into a date. He’d almost allowed himself to believe Gavin was actually defending him because he liked him. But the shameless way he’d goaded Davy into coming to the concert with him was a neon sign saying, “I’m gonna make you my bitch.”
So that’s why you took thirty minutes to get ready and showed up early?
“Shut up, you.” Oh, now you look crazy fussing at yourself. He glanced around to make sure no one had heard his moment of weirdness. He owned his eccentricity, wore it like a badge, but he didn’t like the idea of a stranger having him carted off in the jacket with the arms tied behind the back because he was fighting with himself.
As if Davy wasn’t feeling dumb enough for being so early, Gavin was ten minutes late. Fuck this. He shoved his hands in his pockets. This was ridiculous and he was not sticking around. He’d just tell Gavin something had come up—if he ever saw him again. He was tired as hell anyway. He’d been late with an assignment and that had set off his anxiety. That’s why Davy never procrastinated. Last minute pressure always flustered him, then the realization he was flustered would set off a freak out which tumbled over into a crippling inability to function—a fucked up domino effect that could be easily avoided by just doing shit in a timely manner.
Instead, he’d remembered his late assignment while working the night before and flipped out while trying to close down and had just barely survived closing. The repetitive routine of counting down and cleaning had eased his nerves enough to get him home and in bed. Which is where he really wanted to be now.