by Meik Wiking
The hygge factor is not just a key performance indicator for social events, it is also a not so unique selling point for cafés and restaurants. Search for “beautiful restaurant” in Danish, and Google will provide you with 7,000 hits. Searching for a “quality restaurant” will give you 9,600 options and “cheap restaurant,” 30,600. “Hyggelig restaurant” gives you 88,900 hits on Google. As Lonely Planet points out, “The Danes are obsessed with coziness. All of them. Even the toughest leather-clad biker will recommend a bar based on its ‘hygge’ factor.”
It means that everything you learned in that marketing class was wrong. Price, product, place, and promotion can kiss my ass. It is all about the hygge. I live in Copenhagen. Cafés are plentiful, and there is one right across the street from my apartment. Their coffee is an abomination. It tastes like fish (yes, I was surprised too) and costs five euros. I still go there sometimes. They have an open fireplace, so it’s hygge.
Fireplaces are not unique to Denmark. Neither are candles, cozy company or snuggling up with a cup of tea and a blanket on a stormy night. Danes, however, insist that hygge is uniquely Danish. One third refuse the idea that hygge can be translated into other languages and believe that it is mainly practiced in Denmark.
I disagree with that. Danes are not the only ones who can have hygge or identify it, and other languages have similar expressions. The Dutch call it gezelligheid and Germans talk of Gemütlichkeit, a sense of well-being based on good food and good company, and Canadians will recognize it as “hominess.” However, while more languages than Danish have similar adjectives for the noun hygge, it seems that only Danes use hygge as a verb, as in “Why don’t you come over and hygge with us tonight?” This might be unique.
What might also be unique for Denmark when it comes to hygge is how much we talk about it, focus on it, and consider it as a defining feature of our cultural identity and an integral part of the national DNA. In other words, what freedom is to Americans, thoroughness to Germans, and the stiff upper lip to the British, hygge is to Danes.
Because of its importance to Danish culture and identity, the Danish language is also rich when it comes to talking about hygge.
Danish is an infinite list of compound words. For example, speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode (specialty-doctor-practice-planning-stabilizing-period) is an actual word. It contains fifty-one letters and could be considered the golden goal of Scrabble.
Hygge is no different. You can pretty much add it to any other word in the Danish language. You can be a hyggespreder (someone who spreads the hygge), Friday night is reserved for familiehygge, and socks can be labeled hyggesokker. At the Happiness Research Institute, we have a sign saying:
“You are welcome to borrow some woolen hyggesokker if your feet are cold.”
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
Shakespeare famously wrote, in Romeo and Juliet, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet,” and I think his point applies to hygge as well.
Danes are not the only ones who can enjoy the atmosphere, comfort, and pleasure that comes from being in good company, in front of the fire, with some mulled wine.
While an English translation of hygge as coziness may be problematic, because it loses a lot of important associations, we can find a variety of concepts more similar to hygge around the world.
GEZELLIGHEID—THE NETHERLANDS
Dictionaries tell us that gezelligheid is something cozy, quaint, or nice, but to the Dutch, gezelligheid goes way beyond this.
If you want to score some cheap points with the Dutch, go with what President Obama stated when he visited the Netherlands in 2014: “I’m told there’s a Dutch word that captures the spirit, which doesn’t translate exactly in English, but let me say that my first visit to the Netherlands has been truly gezellig.”
The Dutch tend to use the word gezellig in a lot of ways—for example, drinking coffee at a gezellig café (read: warm interior, flickering candles, and a sleeping cat). Seeking shelter from the pouring rain at a gezellig bar that serves only vintage beers and plays old records is the purest form of gezelligheid. Sitting in a soulless waiting room for your appointment with the dentist is everything but gezellig, unless a very gezellig friend accompanies you. Are you starting to see the similarities between gezelligheid and hygge?
Even though the two are very similar, they are not completely alike, and it’s often emphasized that gezelligheid is a bit more social than hygge. To test whether this is the case, we carried out a small survey among Dutch people, and the results seem to back up this theory.
On most of the indicators, it seems that Danes experience hygge the same way the Dutch experience gezelligheid. The concept is important in both cultures, and candles, fireplaces, and Christmas are core elements in hygge and gezelligheid. However, the notion that gezelligheid has a more outgoing dimension than hygge is also supported by the data we collected. The majority of Dutch people (57 percent) agree that you experience the most gezelligheid outside of your home, while only 27 percent of Danes find that it’s most hyggeligt to go out. In addition, 62 percent of the Dutch agree that summer is the most gezellig season of the year, while Danes prefer autumn in terms of hygge.
KOSELIG—NORWAY
For Norwegians, everything should, ideally, be koselig. Yet again, do not mistake this word for “coziness” (say the Norwegians).
More than anything, koselig is a feeling of warmth, intimacy, and getting together. A perfect koselig evening would consist of good food on the table, warm colors around you, a group of good friends, and a fireplace, or at least some lighted candles.
HOMINESS—CANADA
Canadians use the word hominess to describe a state of shutting out the outside world. It implies a feeling of community, warmth, and togetherness, but hominess also refers to things that resemble home or echo the feeling of home. Thus it has both a physical and a symbolic dimension: it describes how property can be homey if it’s authentic and “real” and how a situation can be homey if it somehow brings to mind the state or feeling of seeking shelter and shutting out the outside world. So, just like hygge, hominess very much implies a feeling of authenticity, warmth, and togetherness.
GEMÜTLICHKEIT—GERMANY
Germans use the word Gemütlichkeit to cover the state of warmth, friendliness, and belonging, and often to describe the atmosphere at a German beer garden. Visiting an Oktoberfest in Germany, you are even likely to hear the song “Ein Prost der Gemütlichkeit” (“A Toast to Coziness”).
HYGGE IS FOR EVERYONE
The list of concepts above doesn’t only provide evidence that it is possible for people other than Danes to experience hygge but also that they already do.
While the concepts across countries aren’t completely identical, what they all share is that they are more developed and complex versions of a feeling of coziness, warmth, and togetherness. The various words denote groups of different activities and settings that generate similar and related feelings, which have merged into linguistic concepts.
Danish hygge and Dutch gezelligheid may stand out a bit from the others, though, as they are so integrated in daily conversation and lifestyle. But one could ask whether this is in any way beneficial. It may be difficult to provide a simple answer to this question. But it is worth mentioning that, according to the European Social Survey, Denmark and the Netherlands are among the countries with the fewest people who seldom enjoy life or rarely feel calm and relaxed. Also, these two countries represent the very top of the official happiness charts commissioned by the UN.
So what’s in a name? On the one hand, the specific name has no value in itself. Hygge works just as well as hominess or gezelligheid. On the other hand, we use names to capture that feeling of coziness, warmth, and togetherness, to shape it into a more fixed concept, and eventually, we develop a phenomenon that marks our unique cultural traits. Throughout this book, I will point toward things, experiences, and moments that are hygge so you w
ill come to an understanding of exactly what hygge is.
HYGGE DICTIONARY
Our words shape our actions. So here are some new words that will help you get your hygge on.
Fredagshygge/Søndagshygge [Fredashooga/Sundashooga]
Hygge you have on Fridays or Sundays. After a long week, fredagshygge usually means the family curling up on the couch together watching TV. Søndagshygge is about having a slow day with tea, books, music, blankets, and perhaps the occasional walk if things go crazy.
“A fredagshygge tradition in the family was candy and watching a Disney movie.”
Hyggebukser [hoogabucksr]
That one pair of pants you would never wear in public but are so comfortable that they are likely to be, secretly, your favorites.
“She just needed a day for herself, so she stayed at home in her hyggebukser, wore no makeup, and just watched television all day.”
Hyggehjørnet [hoogajornet]
To be in the mood for hygge. Literal meaning: “the corner of hygge.”
“I am in hyggehjørnet.”
Hyggekrog [hoogacrow]
The nook of a kitchen or living room where one can sit and have a hyggelig time.
“Let’s sit in the hyggekrog.”
Hyggeonkel [hoogaunkel]
A person who plays with the kids and may be a little too lenient. Literal meaning: “the uncle of hygge.”
“He is such a hyggeonkel.”
Hyggesnak [hoogasnak]
Chitchat or cozy conversation that doesn’t touch on controversial issues.
“We hyggesnakkede for a couple of hours.”
Hyggestund [hoogastun]
A moment of hygge.
“He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat in his window for a hyggestund.”
Uhyggeligt [uh-hoogalit]
While hygge and hyggelig may be difficult to translate into English, it is not the case when it comes to the antonym of hygge. Uhyggeligt (un-hygge) means “creepy” or “scary,” and this provides us with some insight into how central the feeling of safety is to hygge.
“Walking alone through the woods at night is uhyggeligt if you hear a wolf howling.”
As my friend pointed out in the cabin in Sweden, the evening would have been even more hygge if there had been a storm outside. Perhaps hygge is even more hygge if there is a controlled element of danger—of uhygge. A storm, thunder, or a scary movie.
WHERE DOES HYGGE COME FROM?
Hygge appeared in written Danish for the first time in the early 1800s, but the word is actually Norwegian in origin.
Between 1397 and 1814, Denmark and Norway were one kingdom. Danes and Norwegians still understand each other’s languages today.
The original word in Norwegian means well-being. However, hygge might originate from the word hug. Hug comes from the 1560s word hugge, which means “to embrace.” The word hugge is of unknown origin—maybe it originates from the Old Norse hygga, which means “to comfort,” which comes from the word hugr, meaning “mood.” In turn, that word comes from the Germanic word hugjan, which relates to the Old English hycgan, meaning “to think, consider.” Interestingly, consideration, mood, comfort, hug and well-being may all be words to describe elements of what hygge is today.
HYGGE TIP: GET YOUR DANISH ON
Start throwing those hygge words around. Invite your friends for a hyggelig evening and create compound words like there is no tomorrow. You may also want to put the hygge manifesto on your fridge to remind you to hygge every day.
A GLOBAL CONVERSATION ABOUT HYGGE
Hygge seems to be the talk of the town these days.
“Hygge: A heart-warming lesson from Denmark” writes the BBC; “Get cozy: why we should all embrace the Danish art of ‘hygge.’” says The Telegraph; and Morley College in London is now teaching students how to hygge. The Hygge Bakery in Los Angeles is providing Danish romkugler [rum-cool-r] (rum balls), rum-flavored chocolate treats, originally made by Danish bakers to use up leftover pastry. In the book The Danish Way of Parenting, you can find extensive chapters on how hygge is the way to raise the happiest children in the world.
THE HYGGE MANIFESTO
1. ATMOSPHERE
Turn down the lights.
2. PRESENCE
Be here now. Turn off the phones.
3. PLEASURE
Coffee, chocolate, cookies, cakes, candy. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
4. EQUALITY
“We” over “me.” Share the tasks and the airtime.
5. GRATITUDE
Take it in. This might be as good as it gets.
6. HARMONY
It’s not a competition. We already like you. There is no need to brag about your achievements.
7. COMFORT
Get comfy. Take a break. It’s all about relaxation.
8. TRUCE
No drama. Let’s discuss politics another day.
9. TOGETHERNESS
Build relationships and narratives. “Do you remember the time we . . . ?”
10. SHELTER
This is your tribe. This is a place of peace and security.
CHAPTER THREE
TOGETHERNESS
LIKE A HUG WITHOUT TOUCHING
Every year, my friends and I go skiing in the Alps (the last time, someone even packed candles). We all enjoy the speed, the thrill, the flow, and the exercise of the slopes, but to me, the best part of the day is the hour after we come back to our cabin.
Your feet ache, your body is used and tired, you find a chair on the balcony, and the distinct sound of Grand Marnier being poured tells you that coffee is ready. More people come to the balcony, you are all still wearing your ski clothes, too tired to change, too tired to talk, too tired for anything but to enjoy one another’s silent company, take in the view, and breathe in the air of the mountain.
When I give lectures about happiness research, I ask the audience to close their eyes and tell them to think of the last time they felt really happy. Sometimes people become a little uneasy, but I assure them that I am not going to ask them to share their memory with the rest of the class. You can almost pinpoint the moment when people have their happy memory in their mind, as peaceful smiles light up the room. When I ask people to raise their hand if they were with others in their memories, usually nine out of ten do so.
Of course, this is not a scientific method and therefore proves nothing, but it does allow people to attach a memory and an emotion to the dry statistics I then launch at them. The reason why I want them to remember this is that, in all the work I have done within the field of happiness research, this is the point I am surest about: the best predictor of whether we are happy or not is our social relationships. It is the clearest and most recurrent pattern I see when I look at the evidence on why some people are happier than others.
The question is then how to shape our societies and our lives to allow our social relationships to flourish. One answer is, of course, to focus on a healthy work–life balance. And many look at Denmark with envy when it comes to this. “We were not surprised to read last week that the Danes topped the UN’s first World Happiness Report,” Cathy Strongman wrote in The Guardian. She had moved from Finsbury Park in London to Copenhagen three years earlier, with her husband and their daughter.
Our quality of life has skyrocketed and our once staunch London loyalism has been replaced by an almost embarrassing enthusiasm for everything “Dansk.” The greatest change has been the shift in work–life balance. Whereas previously we might snatch dinner once Duncan escaped from work at around nine, he now leaves his desk at five. Work later than 5.30, and the office is a morgue. Work at the weekend, and the Danes think you are mad. The idea is that families have time to play and eat together at the end of the day, every day. And it works. Duncan bathes and puts our 14-month-old daughter Liv to bed most nights. They are best buddies, as opposed to strangers who try to reacquaint at the weekend.
Cathy Strongman, The Guardian
Some have described the
Danish workplace as something like the opening credits of The Flintstones. Come five o’clock, everyone has left before you can say “Yabba dabba doo!” People with children usually leave at four; those without, at five. Everybody leaves, heading home to cook dinner. As a manager, I avoid scheduling meetings that would end after four if I have parents on my team, so they can pick up their kids at the usual time.
On average, 60 percent of Europeans socialize with friends, family, or colleagues a minimum of once a week. The corresponding average in Denmark is 78 percent. While you can hygge by yourself, hygge mostly happens in small groups of close friends or family.
Hygge is also a situation where there is a lot of relaxed thoughtfulness. Nobody takes center stage or dominates the conversation for long stretches of time. Equality is an important element in hygge—a trait that is deeply rooted in the Danish culture—and also manifests itself in the fact that everybody takes part in the chores of the hyggelig evening. It is more hyggeligt if we all help to prepare food, instead of having the host alone in the kitchen.