Ben soaked a cloth in thick, sticky kerosene, coughing as the flames spluttered the moment the match touched it. He slowly approached the pyre. His lips pressed thinly as he lit the hay. He returned to his daughters, one arm firmly around Win’s waist, as she swallowed back grief. Turning her head, she sobbed into his shoulder.
Rowan’s shoulders shook, Evan held her tightly as she balled, like a child who had experienced an uncontrollable tantrum. Her face was sore, eyes swollen. The hay spat and crackled, with the added fuel it took moments before the pyre was engulfed, the grey smoke carried away on the morning breeze.
Win gasped, her throat ached, her body was numb, Ben held her firmly, and she half wondered if he was keeping her upright.
Evan spoke softly, her voice barely a whisper above the roaring fire, the heat coming off the mound in waves. “Spirit of the wolf, who wanders this wild land, whose spirit leaps through moss and trees, and stalks in shadow, lend them your primal strength and the wisdom of your eyes. Teach them to pursue their desires and stand with those they love. Show them the hidden paths and the moonlit field’s fierce warrior. Walk with them in solitude and how with joy. Guard them as they walk through this world without you.”
Win broke down, her heart shredded. Ben whispered. “Girls…open your eyes!”
Win turned her face away from his damp shirt front, her chin trembling as she tried to process what was happening. The fire wasn’t amber anymore; it was blue, glowing against the bleak morning sky. “What’s happening?” Rowan's voice cracked.
Evan squeezed her shoulder. “They’re going home,” she said, trying her best to remain bright, her eyes glistening.
Luke and Ella were on their feet, watching in awe as from the glowing blue fire, two figures emerged. A wolf and a hare.
“Grandpa,” Win moaned, tears bubbling up in her throat. The great wolf jumped free of the flames, the smaller creature following after, hopping to the ground beside him. It was like when Iris had appeared before; they were faint, hollow outlines, wisps on the air. The wolf bent his muzzle to the hare at his feet as if they were long overdue a greeting. He cast one look to his human family, those familiar old eyes, always secretly amused, never failing to charm. He could always get her to smile. He took a few steps closer to his girls, giving them one last look, nodding approvingly.
“Grandpa, I’m sorry,” Win cried. The great blue wolf shook his mane.
Win reached out her fingertips, inches from his snout; he could have licked her if he wanted to. Soft, calm energy flowed off of him, tickling her palms.
I love you. Win sniffed, hearing his voice. Be brave. It’s all you can be in the end.
He looked over his shoulder, flicking his shaggy mane of hair as though he had heard his name. The hare waited patiently as she had done for so long.
They ran together, their light dispersing as they headed into the forest, the dim glow finally fading away. Above in the trees, the falcon perched, always alone. Alice watched her family go back inside the house as her father’s body smoked on the pyre and slowly turned to ash.
Twenty Four
WIN DIDN’T KNOW at what point Willard had held up his end of the bargain, but the next day she found flowers on the doorstep. A woman stopped her in the convenience store, gripping her shirt sleeve lightly, her words a blur in Win’s head as she expressed how much she would miss John. The bar went quiet when she stepped inside to meet Ella after her shift one night, and it was clear news had spread fast. Win had eyes on her wherever she went. Offers of help were overwhelming, suffocating.
Ben and Rowan were dealing with the coroner, although how this was happening without a body to bury Win didn’t like to guess. Willard had taken care of it, Ben insisted, was all she needed to know. Three days after the burning, a small, intimate gathering was arranged at Cedar Wood cemetery and a wake at the house. Evan had done a lot of organizing, bringing in carts of food, cleaning the kitchen, and trying to make sense of the dining room. She polished and vacuumed, tidying away old boxes, enlisting Luke’s help to get them into the attic.
Win stood at her bedroom mirror, layering on mascara to her near-invisible lashes. She swept her long hair up in a ponytail and pinned it into a bun on top of her head. If she could dress up for one special day, it would be to say goodbye to John.
You have to die….to become fully Therian…
Anxiously she pushed the thought away, even though it had been eating at her for the last couple of days. Win shook her head. It wasn’t going to happen, not yet.
As she was zipping up her black shift dress, Rowan eased the door open, smiling at her fondly.
“You look pretty.” Rowan smiled, leaning against the frame. Her own hair had been immaculately waved, falling like a red waterfall across her shoulders. She had on a neat, black pantsuit, her shoulders tanned and bare. Win smiled back.
“Wow, so do you,” she marveled. “I can’t remember the last time I saw your hair straight.”
“Evan did it. She attacked me with the irons.” Rowan tried to make a joke, but Win dipped her gaze.
“Well, you look nice.” She swallowed.
Rowan eyed her suspiciously. “What?”
“Aren’t we ever going to talk about her?” Win prompted, to which Rowan’s face fell. She stalked across the bedroom and flung open Win’s closet door. She was going through Win’s scarves when she found a pretty floral shawl. She ignored Win’s eyes, hot her on her back.
“Do you mind if I borrow this?” she breezed. Win shrugged in compliance; at the precise moment, Grayson’s green coat tumbled out onto the floor. Rowan kicked it with her toe. “How about we talk about this?”
Win flinched, holding out her palms in defense. “Okay,” Win agreed. “Maybe now isn’t the time.”
“I don’t know what your problem is. She’s been amazing. She’s helped me.” She closed her mouth around the words Win knew she was going to say. Rowan was going to say Evan had helped her more than she had the past few days. It stung like a knife, but she knew it was true. “Win, I’ve got about forty people coming back here this afternoon, and I don’t need this crap now. How about we shelve it for later?”
Later…then it might be too late…
“Rowan, Uncle Willard told me about what’s going to happen to me. When I change?”
Rowan jerked, her chin dropping. “It wasn’t his place to do that.”
Win didn’t want to argue with her, not today, but she could feel her frustration rising. “I know, it was your place. And you’ve not said a word. I need to know this stuff Rowan, don’t you think? I needed to know I’m going to die.”
Rowan huffed. “It’s not like dying!” she assured her. “It’s…hard to explain!”
Win gritted her teeth. “Rowan, please.”
“Your body starts to fail because the Therian mutation takes over. Sure, it’s not an experience you are going to forget…” She sighed. “I know. I should have warned you by now. But I hoped we had more time, and with everything going on—”
“Let’s talk after.” Win grabbed her hand, trying to smile. “Just us two. And you can tell me everything.”
Rowan’s eyes glistened. “Okay.” She nodded a promise.
Win withdrew as her sister stalked out of the room. How long would she have left in this body? What would life be like after she changed? Would things taste different? Would she be stronger? Her grandfather had been ripped away from her before he’d really had a chance to prepare her. She grabbed her jacket and fell into step with Luke, who was coming out of the bathroom. He was wearing a smart black suit, tall and handsome. Win caught his arm. He gave her an approving glance as they walked downstairs.
“You look nice, Win,” he said fondly. “Hey, do you mind if I take off with Ella after the ceremony? I’m really not good at large family gatherings. And me being a Fraser, living under a Hickory roof is already enough to get tongues wagging.”
Win moaned inwardly, disappointe
d. She had hoped they could have hung out after, sat on the porch, and talked like they’d done most of the summer. She brushed it off and smiled, straightening his tie as they reached the bottom step. “Of course. I don’t mind. I was probably going to read anyway.”
Luke smiled. He did something unexpected. He cupped the side of her face with his hand and kissed her cheek. Win blushed and laughed. “Are you feeling okay?”
Luke stuttered, seemingly surprising himself. “For luck,” he said before running for the door. “Tell your dad the cars are here.”
Win’s mouth dried up, she barely managed a nod. The next few moments were a flurry of movement and chaos. The black funeral car had arrived to take the four of them to the cemetery. Luke insisted he would go with Ella, leaving Win lonely, as she slid along next to her father over the leather interior. The air con hurt her throat, made her shiver as she pressed next to him; he wound his arm easily around her shoulders.
Across from them, Evan and Rowan scooted inside, their fingers linked, which made Win’s envy worse. A horrible sensation of mistrust was beginning to eat away at her again, as much as she had tried to force it away. She needed to support Rowan. Rowan loved Evan, trusted her, so she should accept it, shouldn’t she?
But I can’t, Win thought as the car pulled out of the drive. I can’t let it go.
It was a long slow drive to the cemetery, and by the time they’d reached the old, brick building with iron gates around the perimeter, Win’s insides were on fire. Nausea washed over her, saliva gathering in her mouth. As someone opened the door and the fresh air hit her, her vision blurred, black spots danced before her eyes.
“We’ll be alright,” her father whispered to her as they got out of the car. There were so many people here already. They smiled and bowed their heads as they passed. Win recognized some of them from the bar in town. It was uplifting to know John Hickory had been well-loved.
During the service, Win concentrated on not vomiting. Her insides turned liquid, sloshing about sickly in her belly. By the time they lowered the empty coffin into the ground, she was cold and exhausted, having exerted much energy on staying focussed on her shallow breathing. She attempted to smile and make small talk when mourners spoke with her. She kept trying to catch Ella’s eye, but Luke had dragged her away.
Evan left the cemetery early, saying she needed a head start on the mourners, so she could heat the oven and get the canopies ready before they got back to the house. Win’s tension headache had grown in increments, not knowing why they needed to entertain all these people. When she had argued the point, she’d been outnumbered. John had been an important figure, a long-standing citizen of this town, not to mention a direct descendant of one of its founders. The people of the town would expect him to be sent off properly. Win had nearly said her grandpa wouldn’t have cared less about the ‘people’ and more about how much red wine was being served.
Still, the house smelled like food when they returned, and Win’s stomach growled in appreciation. Evan looked stunning; she’d borrowed a black dress from Rowan and with her ebony hair piled up and flaunting a pair of diamond earrings, a silver chain adorning her long, pretty neck. She spent the next couple of hours darting around with trays, insisting Ben and Rowan remain seated and relax. She chatted and smiled, her friendly aura radiating warmth.
Win stayed in the kitchen, content to rinse out dirty glasses and fill the dishwasher, but inside she bristled with envy. She couldn’t go out there and talk with these strangers, not when she thought she might erupt in tears if anyone so much as gave her a sideways look. She wished she had half of Evan’s charisma.
“You’re keeping busy,” Evan commented, carrying a tray full of empties into the kitchen. “You should come out and say hello.”
Win shrugged and tapped the dishwasher closed, setting it on yet another rinse. “I’m good,” she said shortly. Evan came around to the sink, unloading the tray, giving her a pat on the arm.
“You know I saw Ella and Luke take off. I’m sure you can disappear with them if you don’t feel like hanging out here.”
Win slunk back, away from her touch. She wished she would stop. Stop being so damn nice all the time. “I’m fine. I want to hang out with Rowan after, watch a movie or something.”
She didn’t want to mention she and her sister needed to have a serious, life-and-death chat.
Evan threw a dishcloth into the sink, huffing. “That sounds like a plan. I’m exhausted.”
Then you could go home. Win folded her lips around the words. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you go upstairs and have a break?” Evan offered. She swiped a cloth from the sink and mopped up crumbs from the worktop, silly jobs Win wished she’d spotted. She could feel her insides boiling.
“I’m fine here, really,” she snapped, and Evan’s eyes sprung up.
“Have I upset you?” She frowned. “I’m sorry. I know I have this tendency to take over…I just want to help.”
“No, it's fine.” Win was struggling, her voice shaking. Why couldn’t she stop? This wasn’t her home, and this wasn’t her place. Win knew she was unreasonable, knew she was about to swipe out and hurt her, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“What’s wrong in here? Win?” Rowan’s eyes were confused, and Win recoiled. Her sister had chosen this moment to spring from her seat, to come looking for her.
“Nothing,” Evan lied, giving Rowan and sweet smile. “How are we doing for drinks out there?”
Rowan flew across the kitchen, her eyes narrowing, flashing yellow. “Don’t cover up for her. What is it now, Win? What have you got a problem with now?”
Her tone stung deeply. Win slunk back against the worktop. “I don’t—”
“She’s fine!”
“You’re lying!” Rowan yelled. “And I’m goddamn sick of it!”
Rowan stepped closer, and even from several feet away, Win could detect the whiff of alcohol on her breath.
“Rowan, stop it. She’s been through enough,” Evan said, but Win’s head was blurred, fuzzy. She caught sight of a few guests lingering in the hall, having been alerted by Rowan’s tone. Humiliated, she tried to escape for the stairs, but Rowan yanked her back by the wrist.
“Don’t you dare think about flitting off!” she snarled, pulling her back into the kitchen. “I’m sick of you and the way you’ve behaved. You’ve been sullen and rude….”
“Rowan, seriously, leave her alone!”
“You’ve not helped us, only sat up in your room pining for a man who murdered our grandfather!”
Win snatched her arm back; Rowan’s vice-like grip left an imprint on her flesh. “You don’t know he did this.”
“We all saw him. A man in a hood—the bow and arrow.”
“He wouldn’t have done this!” Win barked, not caring they were drawing a crowd. “You don’t know him!”
Rowan tilted her head and mocked her, turning her voice into a whiney wail. Liquored up, she was braver, louder. “You don’t know him like I do?” she imitated her. “You’re pathetic!”
“Rowan, stop it right now!” Ben cried from the kitchen door. Rowan laughed pitifully and threw her hands in the air. The atmosphere had plummeted. Mourners made comments about leaving, grabbing their coats.
Win blinked through her tears, utterly humiliated. She saw someone she recognized as they lingered in the hall. Her breath caught. Why was she here? Win froze, her gaze fixed on the malicious stare of the dark-haired woman she knew all too well. Jennifer smiled and headed out the door. It made her neck tingle to imagine her in this house, her prying eyes as she wandered the halls, and they had no idea. Win tried to push past her father, who blocked her path roughly.
“Oh no, young lady, you aren’t running off now. We need to thrash this out!”
When Win rushed to the kitchen window, she saw the woman scurrying across the driveway, disappearing into the safety of the trees. “But it’s her!” she yelled. “Jennifer Ril
ey!”
“What has she got to do with this?” Rowan snapped, joining her at the window. “I don’t see her.”
“No, she’s gone,” Win spluttered. “I saw her. This is something to do with her. You said it yourself. She’s been watching you for years!”
Rowan bit her lip but continued relentlessly. “I don’t care about that right now!”
“But why would she be here?” Win tried to make eye contact with Evan, who only looked away, not wanting to be dragged into this fight.
“I’m sick to death of you and your attitude,” Rowan seethed. “You’ve been nothing but rude and unpleasant to Evan…who has done everything to help us!”
Win closed her eyes, trying to keep steady. Inside she was burning, her palms on fire. “I know…but she knew about the stone. I’m sorry, Evan, but you did, and you said nothing!”
“Evan has explained it to me. She wanted to protect us from the stone!” Rowan threw back, and Win cast her eyes skyward.
“Oh, great explanation! It tells us nothing… stone is the key to everything, and all I see is someone who wants to get close to you to use power!” Win flared. “And you…you’re too weak to see anything else!”
Rowan’s eyes rounded. Ben jerked her back by the shoulder but she shook his hand off. Evan looked completely crushed at Win’s admission. “What did you call me?” Rowan seethed.
Backed against the sink, Win had no escape, and Rowan had ignited her fragile temper. She snarled through her tears. People were leaving fast now. “I called you weak, Rowan because that’s what you are. You couldn’t wait five minutes before falling into bed with someone new. You can’t possibly be alone!”
“You are so out of line,” Rowan yelled.
“Maybe…but I’m not wrong. You can’t be alone, even for a second. And yet, you are the strongest person I know. You are everything to me. I wanted it to be us today. About us, this family!”
Wild Spirit: Huntress Page 25