by Judith Keim
Too shy to respond, she nodded.
He helped her out of them and then stood to remove his clothes.
She lay on the bed and stared at his naked body with fascination. He was marvelous. A scattering of hair appeared on his broad chest. Shoulders tapered to a waist that was full but not fat. And when he took off his shorts, she could see that he was all male, and ready.
At the size of him, a shiver traveled through her.
“You okay?”
She nodded.
“I’ll be gentle. I promise. I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt the baby.”
She blinked in surprise. Wrapped up in lust, she’d forgotten all about the baby.
Recognizing her reaction, he chuckled and lowered his lips to hers. The rest of the world melted away as he began to give her pleasure in so many ways.
When she thought she couldn’t stand another moment of waiting, he entered her, and they moved together toward satisfaction.
Later, spent, Carol Ann lay in Ed’s arms filled with a joy she hadn’t thought possible. At the lingering idea of having linked souls with him, tears filled her eyes and overflowed, surprising them both.
“My God! Did I hurt you?” Ed said, rolling on his side. He studied her with concern.
“Oh, Ed, n-no, n-no,” she sobbed, overwhelmed by her emotions. “It’s just that you’ve made me so happy.” Her tears came from finally knowing what it was to give and receive love, becoming one in spirit as well as body. She’d read about such things in books, but she hadn’t realized how true it could be.
He hugged her close.
Carol Ann never wanted to leave his side. In the past, she’d been made to feel unworthy of love. But here in Ed’s arms, she felt both safe and cherished, and it felt so very good.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
GRACE
Grace hung up the phone and sank down onto the bed in her bedroom in a state of shock. She’d just received a call from her cousin Kate, and snatches of the terrible conversation raced in her mind: advanced ovarian cancer; a short time to live; a need to see Misty.
Was it a ruse to get Misty back home?
At such a thought, shame filled Grace. Kate had been crying, for heaven’s sake. And she’d sounded scared to death.
Grace let out a sigh of resignation. Of course, Misty should go to Ohio. But there was no way she’d let her go to Ohio alone. She might once again be made an “emotional prisoner” of the weird group of which Kate was a part. Grace decided she’d charge the airfares and pay them off over the next few months.
Misty arrived home from babysitting at Tiffany’s and called out in a cheery tone, “Hi, Mom! I’m back.”
Grace came out of her bedroom.
Misty stopped in her tracks. “What’s the matter?”
Grace motioned Misty to the couch. “You’d better sit down. I have something to tell you.”
Giving Grace a wary look, Misty took a seat, facing Grace.
“It’s Kate. She’s very ill. She’s dying of ovarian cancer and wants to see you.”
“Mom? Dying?” Misty burst into tears.
Grace reached over to embrace her, but Misty backed away and ran into her room.
Sighing, Grace got to her feet.
“Misty?” She knocked on her closed door. “Sweetheart, we have to talk. May I come in?”
Misty opened the door and waved Grace inside. “What if I don’t want to go?” Her face was rigid with anger. “She lied to me. She lied to you.”
“You just called her ‘Mom,’” Grace prompted.
Tears streamed down Misty’s face. “I’m so confused. I love her, but I sometimes hate her for what she did to you and me.”
“Think about what you want to do. I’m going to make arrangements with my office to take a couple of days off if necessary.”
Misty nodded numbly. “Okay.”
Grace pulled Misty into an embrace. “I love you, Misty.”
“Yeah, love you too.”
Grace warmed at Misty’s words. They weren’t said often. It wasn’t easy to raise any teenage girl, and it was doubly hard to raise one who’d been so emotionally bruised.
###
Two days later, the two of them were on a flight to Columbus, Ohio. Beside Grace on the plane, Misty stirred in her seat as restless as a two-year-old during a long church service. Grace didn’t blame her. Her own nerves were twanging like old strings on the guitar her ex-husband Buck used to pretend to play.
Assailed by old memories, Grace closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headrest. She knew she was doing the right thing by taking Misty to Ohio, but it didn’t mean she liked it.
###
Kate’s husband, Josh, met them at the airport. Upon seeing him, Misty hesitated and then rushed into his open arms. Pain shot through Grace at the sight of them hugging. He was as guilty as Kate of keeping the truth away from Misty.
“Hello, Grace,” he said stiffly as she approached them.
“I’m sorry about Kate,” Grace said quietly. “We’re here to say goodbye like she asked.”
Sadness crept into his eyes. “She has just a couple of months left, if that long.” He wrapped an arm around Misty. “C’mon. Let’s go home.”
Misty turned around, gave a hesitant look at Grace, and then walked away with him.
###
The small, white-clapboard bungalow was typical of the houses that lined the street in the small town outside of Columbus. Grace thought of Middle-American values as they pulled into the driveway of Kate and Josh’s house.
Josh parked the car and opened the trunk to remove the suitcases. Grace and Misty stood side-by-side on the front walk facing both the past and the present.
“Guess we’d better go inside,” said Grace.
Misty followed her to the front door. They drew simultaneous deep breaths and then Grace opened the door.
A figure rose from a lounge chair in the corner of the room. Grace hid a gasp as a stick-thin woman moved toward them. “Kate!” Grace said quietly and gently embraced her, wondering at the cruelty of the disease.
Kate accepted Grace’s hug, but her gaze stayed on Misty, who stood beside them.
“You’ve come back, after all,” said Kate to Misty.
“Hello, Kate,” Misty said in crisp tones that drew a look of surprise from Kate.
“Oh, my!” said Kate. “I see we’ll need plenty of time to talk.”
Josh set down the suitcases inside the doorway. “Misty, you’ll be in your old room, sweetie. Grace, you’re upstairs too.”
Grace resented Josh’s coolness but decided not to address it. Upstairs, she unpacked what she needed for the next night or two and went into Misty’s room.
“Nice room,” Grace said, gazing at the pale green walls and fluffy, pink and white quilt on the double bed.
Misty smiled. “Yeah, Mom and Dad ... I mean, Kate and Josh let me decorate it myself.”
“Hey, ladies, I’m going to leave you here and go back to work,” Josh called up the stairs. “See you in time for dinner.”
Grace and Misty exchanged looks of relief. Grace was well aware Misty had a lot on her mind.
“Well, let’s go down and say our hellos,” said Grace. “Kate looks terrible. We need to be very mindful of how fragile she is.”
Downstairs, Kate was sitting in her chair, waiting for them. “Please help yourselves to whatever you want while you’re here. Misty, you know where I keep the vegetables for snacks and how to work the coffee machine for Grace.”
“Thank you,” said Grace, and lowered herself onto the couch near Kate’s chair.
“When did you find out about the cancer?” Grace gently asked her.
“Not until a couple of weeks ago. I thought my feeling so tired and all was just part of being depressed after Misty left at Christmas.” She gave Grace a rueful glance. “I’m glad you came. I want to clear the air between us.”
“Yes, it’s time to do that,” said Grace quietly. “I d
on’t understand why you didn’t let Misty know how much I loved her. You let her believe I didn’t care about her. In fact, you encouraged her to think I didn’t.”
“I know, but you don’t understand ...” Kate began.
Anger, hot and burning, flared inside Grace. “You saw my scars. You saw my bruises. You knew how frightened Misty was. How could you do that to me? To us?” She hadn’t realized that Misty had come up behind her. Now, she felt Misty’s hand on her shoulder.
“Why did you take away the stuffed toys I loved so much? My mother left them with me to remind me of our time together and how much she loved me.” Misty began sobbing—heartrending sounds of deep distress.
“Come here, Misty,” said Kate, holding her arms out to her.
“No!” screamed Misty. “I hate you for what you did! You even wanted to take away my name by adopting me.”
Grace rose to her feet. “Please, Misty ...”
But Misty ran out of the room and up the stairs.
“Oh, Kate, I’m sorry. She’s upset, and so am I,” said Grace sitting down again.
Kate let out a long sigh. “I suppose I had this coming to me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. But when the members of my church suggested that Misty’s coming here was a sign that she should’ve been mine all along, it seemed only right. Josh and I had been trying for children for a long time, and I wanted so much for Misty to be mine.”
“But you knew she was mine. What about adopting a baby?” Grace asked, dismayed by Kate’s statement.
“We’d started the adoption process when Misty came to us. Then we stopped.” Kate leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes.
Emotions played an unsettling game inside Grace. Restless, she got to her feet. “Why don’t you get some rest? If you’d like, I can start dinner.”
Kate opened her eyes. “That would be nice, Grace. We’re going to have chicken and rice casserole—one of Misty’s favorites. I’ve put the recipe out on the counter.”
Grace hid her surprise. Misty had told her she didn’t like casseroles, that they made her fat. “I’ll take care of it. You rest.”
Grace was working in the kitchen, sautéing pieces of chicken when Misty walked into the room. “Feeling better?” Grace asked softly.
Misty shrugged. “I guess.”
“I’m making a favorite of yours,” Grace said pleasantly, trying for a happier note.
“Chicken and rice casserole?”
Grace nodded. “Kate thought you’d enjoy it.”
“I used to love it when I was younger. Now I try to stay away from casseroles.” Misty patted her flat stomach. “Can’t gain too much weight.”
“You’re perfect like you are,” said Grace. “But let’s do Kate a favor and enjoy the meal.”
Misty studied Grace a moment. “You know what, Mom? You’re a really good person.”
Tears sprang to Grace’s eyes. She’d been so afraid that coming back to Ohio would make Misty react angrily to her all over again. Instead, it was bringing out a warmer feeling of appreciation. Maybe, Grace thought, it will all have been worth it to come see Kate and then quickly leave.
The sound of Josh’s arrival home brought the conversation to an end.
As he came through the front door, the atmosphere in the house changed and then grew worse. Resentment toward Grace coated his every word, his every movement.
Sitting at the dinner table, he refused to look at Grace, and instead focused on Misty. “You know, your mother and I were disappointed we never really got a chance to say goodbye to you. I think you owe it to her to stay here with us until the end. That’s the least you can do for her after all Kate has done for you.”
With his words, Grace watched Misty’s spine soften.
Misty glanced at her.
“We’re here now,” Grace said in a voice she forced to remain calm. “Misty has school to think of.”
“There’s a time and a place for doing the right thing,” Josh insisted, studying Misty with an intensity that Grace found unsettling.
“Stop hounding her, Josh,” said Grace.
“I’d love it if you’d stay,” said Kate, smiling sweetly at Misty. “It won’t be for long. The doctors are telling me it’ll be a couple of months, but I don’t think I’ll last for more than a few weeks.” She turned to Grace. “It would mean so much to me if Misty could stay here for those last weeks.”
“But her schooling ...” Grace said.
“It won’t matter. I know I’ll have to go to summer school to make up a couple of the courses. The rest I’m not worried about,” said Misty. Tears filled her eyes. “I might be able to do this for Kate.”
“We’ll talk about it later,” said Grace. Her stomach filled with acid. This wasn’t what she wanted, but she knew if she took a strong stand against it, Misty might turn on her. It was such a difficult position for Kate and Josh to have placed Misty in. Grace was furious at them for doing this to a sensitive girl.
Josh shot Grace a look of triumph. “We, not you, have been her parents for these past several years. Misty owes it to Kate to do this.”
Grace could feel her face flush with anger. “Though I haven’t always been able to be with her, I have always been Misty’s mother. So, let’s not go there.”
Kate nodded. “She’s right, Josh. It’s ended badly for us, but we must think of Misty.”
“Yeah,” growled Josh, “and you too.” He stood and threw his napkin down on the table with a slap of his hand. “She owes you, dammit!”
He stalked away from the table, leaving an uncomfortable silence behind.
Misty let out a sob and buried her head in her hands. “I’m so confused.”
Kate placed a fragile hand on Grace’s. Her eyes filled. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want it to be like this.”
Grace nodded. There was so much she wanted to say. Struck by a memory of the two of them together as girls, she hesitated. Then Kate had been the strong one, showing Grace a protectiveness she hadn’t received from her own mother. But things were different now. She was strong, and she was furious. “You owe it to both Misty and me to make things right. Where are the pictures and stuffed toys I gave you to give to Misty?”
Kate shook her head. “I’m sorry. They’re gone. They all were burned as part of a ceremony for bringing Misty into our family.”
Misty glared at Kate. “How could you do that to me?”
“What you did was beyond cruel to a child who’d suffered through so much. I don’t understand how you could live with such horrible lies.” Grace forced herself to speak, not to shout.
Kate sighed. “I wish so many things were different.” She leaned her head back against the dining room chair and let out a soft moan.
“Here, let me help you back to your comfortable chair,” Grace offered. “Tomorrow is another day. We’ll figure things out then.”
But she knew in her heart things would never be right between them again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CAROL ANN
Standing before the mirror in her bedroom, Carol Ann felt a sense of satisfaction. A glow of happiness surrounded her. And the black maternity pants she’d bought were classy with the loose-fitting, green maternity top and flowy sweater that Tiffany had lent her.
She ran a brush through her hair again and set it down, eager to be at the office where she could surreptitiously keep an eye on the man she loved.
Outside, the bright March day matched her mood. Daffodils bobbed their yellow heads in the light breeze, adding color to the sprouting green leaves on the bushes that sat at the foundations of the buildings in the apartment complex. Carol Ann paused before getting into her car and studied her attractive surroundings. She’d felt so lucky to be living here. The idea of one day moving into Ed’s condominium was something she was still trying to believe. That would be a dream come true. One day at a time, she told herself and climbed into the car feeling a bit overwhelmed by such promising ideas of love and contentment.
At the office, one of the women studied her as she walked through the door. “Carol Ann, I’ve been meaning to ask ... are you ... uh, you look ...”
“Pregnant?” Carol Ann said, struggling to be bold. “Yes. My baby is due sometime in June.”
“Oh, uh, congratulations.” Betty Raskins’ look of surprise turned to a smile Carol Ann didn’t like. Betty was a known gossip.
Carol Ann moved on to her desk determined not to let the encounter ruin her day. The women in the Fat Fridays group had warned her not to allow other people’s comments to bother her. Now it was time to put their advice into practice.
As she reached her desk, she looked into Ed’s office. He looked up and smiled at her. Suddenly Carol Ann didn’t care what Betty thought. She had someone like Ed in her life to protect her.
Carol Ann settled behind her desk. She was going over her agenda for the day when Ed walked up to her desk and handed her a note.
She read it and smiled. It said: “How about dinner tonight? I’ve made reservations at Escapes for seven. Sound good?”
Trying to keep it on a professional level, Carol nodded. “Yes, that won’t be a problem. I’ll make sure it gets done.”
He winked at her and walked away.
Lynetta shot Carol Ann a puzzled look.
Carol Ann smiled at her and mouthed, “Later.”
The morning dragged by as Carol Ann worked on a number of small projects. At last, Lynetta came to her desk. “Ready to go to Fat Fridays lunch?”
Carol Ann got up with a sigh. “More than ready. I guess Grace stayed in Ohio longer than she’d thought she would.”
Lynetta nodded. “She’ll be back in the office on Monday. I hope everything’s all right with her.”
Carol Ann frowned. “Me too.”
###
At Anthony’s, the smell of garlic and tomatoes hit Carol Ann’s nose with a not-so-gentle smack. She placed a hand on her stomach wondering if she could manage lunch. Lynetta marched ahead of her to their favorite booth in the back where Sukie and Tiffany waited. Carol Ann took a deep breath, patted her baby bump, and moved forward. She’d waited all week for this opportunity to be with her friends and wasn’t about to back out now.