They shared contact information.
“Thanks again,” said Sven as he started to leave.
Tucker had an unanswered question. “Why did they remove the doctor’s hand?”
“One of them had been badly injured. They originally came to us for medical treatment. We couldn’t refuse, of course, but the man was near death. Lisle did everything she could. We had to amputate the man’s leg, and he still died. It was her punishment. They were crazy with hatred for her. When they came to take the body home, I thought they’d kill us all.”
“That’s tough.”
“You survive. We just stuck together to survive. I had her pretty well drugged up when they did it. Nothing I could do because they threatened the other women. We tried to fix her up, but without proper supplies, I feared for the worse.”
“The American girl. She tough enough to deal with all this?” asked Tucker.
“You want the truth? She was a spoiled brat. Should I feel bad for saying so?”
“No, I understand.”
“Her first trip. It’s not fair.”
“What were their intentions?”
“They were looking to hook up with a larger militia. The girl was for their General. I think they’d have executed us when they met up, but that’s just a guess.”
Kyle arrived. “How’s he doing?”
“I gave him some Ativan. He’ll get a good sleep.”
“Okay, good.” He turned to Sven. “When do you take off?”
“Waiting to hear, but soon. I fly back to Paris.”
“Gotcha. Thanks for your assistance. Jean told me about your background. Sure you don’t want to come join us? We could always use a good man,” Kyle said.
“It’s a long story. I told Tucker here. We’ll stay in touch.” Sven shook Kyle’s hand, waved to Tucker, and was gone.
“How’re you doing?”
“I’m hanging. I snuck a call to Brandy after we got here. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Nah, that’s good. Get some rest. Just stay with Brawley. I’ll bring by some food later so hopefully you can get a couple hours of sleep, okay?”
“Thanks. What about you?”
Kyle leaned over and looked at Brawley again. “I’ll get my sleep on the plane. I promised I’d call Dorie, so probably do that now.”
“Right.”
“Welcome back, Tucker. You did good.”
“Then why am I not celebrating?”
“Because we lost one. Remind me next time not to plan a mission a week before the country is going to erupt into civil war, okay?”
“It’s the first thing I’ll ask, Kyle.”
“You think he’ll sort out?”
It hurt inside to lie to Kyle. “I think so. But he’s going to need more time.”
“And maybe he’s done,” said Kyle.
“He’s only got two and a half more years to his twenty. Would be a shame.”
Kyle nodded. He placed a hand on Tucker’s shoulder. “Get some rest.”
Chapter 19
The next day, Brandy got the text that they were about to depart Africa. It would take nearly twenty-four hours for him to get home. She was filled with relief and a growing anticipation. She knew that Tucker had done his job. Now it was time for her real job to begin.
Brandy was relieved that Dorie’s frank call with Kyle had helped her deal with the future she was going to face. She contacted Dr. Brownlee and asked his help again to have Brawley admitted to the same clinic he’d been at before. Dr. Brownlee took time to walk her through what would be going on this time and generously offered to underwrite whatever the VA wouldn’t cover with the hospitalization, as his family had done before.
She’d spent the day yesterday with Dorie and Jessica, but now was home, preparing for Tucker’s return. She’d spoken with several of the wives on her phone list and offered to babysit or run errands. Everyone was in the same boat: waiting for their men to come back. She got many pieces of advice, some of it not helpful, but she felt mentally strong and ready.
The airfield at Coronado was windy as Brandy lined up with the other wives, waiting for the transport to arrive. Kids were decked out in their finest, some of them pulled from school so they could welcome their daddies home. Following tradition, the families occupied a small hangar away from the rest of the public, and the kids, who had grown up with each other since infants, had completely taken over the facility.
Dorie smiled to her as she waited with two attendants, who would be assisting Brawley to the clinic. Jessica sat close to her mother and was playing with items she found in her diaper bag.
As she scanned the little gathering, Brandy did feel part of this very large, growing family. It was the part of being with Tucker she hadn’t expected. She had never felt alone during the short deployment and didn’t feel alone now.
At last, the plane arrived. A hush fell over the room. Within minutes, men began to deplane. Kids were pointing, wives were crying and holding onto each other, and others were chasing their kids around the hangar. The men stood to attention, forming two lines as Ollie’s flag-draped casket was lowered from the cargo bay, and several of the men carried it to the black waiting hearse. Ollie’s mother was helped out of the hearse and then shook hands and hugged the men who had been with her son. She gave a long endearing hug to Brawley and spoke to him briefly. Brandy watched Brawley’s arm slowly draw up to the woman’s back to return part of the hug.
As the vehicle pulled away, Tucker looked strong, his jaw firm with resolve. He had an arm around Brawley, who walked clumsily as if his shoes were made of concrete. Tucker had both duty bags over his shoulder until Armando relieved him and remained in step. Brawley was working hard to keep up with the group. Many of the other men ran for the hangars as the families spilled out onto the tarmac in celebration.
She waited for him to be free before she saw him look for her. That’s when she ran into his arms, colliding so hard they nearly toppled.
“There she is,” he whispered in her ear. “I couldn’t wait to get that body slam.”
She drew back to search his face. He was back. He was totally back.
“Are you making a comment about my weight again?” she teased.
“Hell yes. I’ve always told you. You’re perfect the way you are.”
“So glad you’re home, sweetheart.” She was going to say more, but Tucker had covered her mouth. She tried to mumble through.
“Shut up, Brandy. Let me kiss you proper.”
Having Tucker home was like starting out all over again. She found herself shy undressing around him until the familiarity returned. She was surprised it had changed so in the brief time since he’d been gone. But their routine returned. They talked at night and slept in late.
She’d been prepared for a lack of enthusiasm for sex, which was part of the advice some of her friends had given her. Tucker was the opposite. He was obsessed with her, driven to follow her around with a perpetual hard-on. She wondered if it would start being annoying after a while, he was so much under foot. If they bumped into each other in the kitchen, it turned into sex. She got partially dressed, only to have it turn into sex. She found herself wondering if she was keeping up with him, his need had grown so.
He read her his journal in little excerpts but kept it privately tucked away. Brandy was overjoyed he planned to continue writing, though. His entries made her feel like she was right there with him.
“You could be a writer, Tucker. Your writing is very clear. You paint such vivid pictures. I’m so happy you’ve learned to enjoy it.”
“Didn’t know I liked to write. Now that I’ve found my voice, I’m going to explore it further. It’s like second nature, something that I find easy to do. Who knew this big guy could do it? Gives me something to think about when the time comes after I’m off the Teams.”
“Oh, you could write thrillers!”
“Sexy thrillers,” he whispered.
Even the discussion about writing led to s
ex.
After a week, she started going back to her father’s store, giving Tucker some alone time. He also wanted to schedule a visit with Brawley. It would take a few days to arrange.
As if the knowledge of this visit coming up added a burden, the happy veneer of his homecoming began to fade slowly in the weeks that followed. He became less interested in her work at the store or in helping her dad with the garden. Their sexual encounters became less frequent as well. He’d spent time with Kyle and others, and she could see he was worried the Navy was considering medically discharging Brawley. Tucker wanted to defend his best friend with a burning desire she’d not seen in him before.
He’d had discussions about their mission and she learned from Dorie that the Navy had been unhappy with the Team’s performance. Not only had they lost a man, but the Navy questioned Kyle’s judgment about bringing Brawley on the mission, as well as the mission itself. There was a chance Kyle himself had lost favor with his superiors. She knew Tucker took it hard, like he was partially responsible for it.
She felt the Brotherhood was pulling Tucker away from her.
As the days drew closer to his first visit with Brawley, Tucker’s demeanor became more reserved.
Little arguments cropped up. She became worried, and asked if everything was okay with his position on the Teams. Tucker reared up and spat back a question.
“Where the hell did you get that? You think there’s something wrong with me? That I didn’t do my job well?”
“No, Tucker. I’m just trying to help. In case you want to talk.”
“About what? There are some things I have to keep to myself. Quit trying so hard, Brandy. It pisses me off.”
It was impossible to even talk about little things without her comments causing offense. Finally, on the morning he was to visit the clinic, the two of them had a major fight.
“Quit asking if I’m okay. You act like you’re afraid of me, afraid of what I’ve done. You’re walking around on egg shells, Brandy, asking too many dumb questions. Do I do anything that makes you think I’m not okay?” Tucker shouted at her.
“You’re misunderstanding me, Tucker. What I’m asking is what’s going on with you? Because I see a change. That’s all. I see a hardness in you I didn’t see before.”
Tucker’s body reacted. His fists balled, and he held his jaw clamped down tight, without a glimmer of anything soft. She knew she wasn’t going to like what he had to say next.
“I’m not going to even dignify that comment with a response. Does everything have to be happy, happy, happy all the time? Why do I have to keep reassuring you? This isn’t about you. It’s about standing for my teammate, defending him, because right now, he can’t do it himself. I won’t leave him behind, and if you can’t understand that, then you never really knew me, Brandy.”
His hard stare scared her. She was on shaky ground and didn’t want to escalate the tension between them, but she was confused, worried why he was reacting so personally.
Tears collected and began to stream down her face.
“Don’t do that!” He barked. “That’s not fair. You’ve got to stop hovering around me like some butterfly and just let me handle my own shit.”
She knew he felt bad for her. But she could also see he wasn’t going to back down.
“Brandy,” he said as he softened his voice, “there are some things about me that you can’t be a part of. There are things you have to just trust me on. Stop prying. Stop needing to know everything about every thought and emotion I have. I don’t like or want that.”
She remembered the conversations they’d had when they first met, about how he’d never let anyone into his life before. Had that all changed now? And why so quickly?
Brandy’s insides melted. She felt the barrier between them, that a line had been crossed, and knew that he didn’t trust her with some of his secrets. It would be a mistake to try to reason, convince, or otherwise try to manipulate him, but she was deeply hurt.
The best thing she could do was not make it worse. It didn’t feel right, but she stuffed down her emotions, took a deep breath, and found some backbone. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“Well, you let me know when the other Tucker comes home. I’ll be waiting. You go ahead and be the way you have to be. I’m not going to apologize for my tears or try to change the way you’re feeling. It’s like what you told Brawley. I can only go so far. You have to meet me halfway, Tucker.”
She watched his truck pull out of the driveway on his way to see Brawley. She hoped that the man she loved would be the one coming back after the visit. He hadn’t said good-bye or given her a kiss. He didn’t notice she was standing there, her heart worried—not broken, but drained.
This sudden change between them was harder than the concern she had when he was deployed.
Should I feel this way? What is happening?
Chapter 20
Tucker cranked the music up in his truck and tried to set aside their argument. He didn’t want to figure out what he was feeling. Best to just push it out of his mind. He needed a blank slate when he talked to Brawley. He needed to be ready for anything he observed with his friend. Today wasn’t the day to analyze the argument with his wife.
The clinic was bright and clean, not like some rehab facilities he’d been to in past years run by the VA.
He asked for Brawley at reception. The young attendant batted her eyes at him, making an obvious flirtation, and it pissed him off. She’d pushed a clipboard across the counter at him.
“Why do I have to fill this out?” He’d worked not to use any smacktalk or swearwords.
“Well,” she said in her pert little way, “we keep track of all our visitors. As I’m sure you’re aware, this is a mental health clinic, and, well, we’re very protective of our clients.”
Tucker thought it laughable she regarded Brawley as a client. He nearly threw the clipboard at her.
“But I have an appointment! It took like two weeks to get that appointment. You have to examine me as well before I can go in there?” He pointed with his thumb down the hall. Several people in the waiting room stopped their conversation and looked up.
An older, matronly woman appeared behind the young receptionist. She angled her head closer, noting his SEAL Team 3 shirt, speaking in a low tone so the audience around them wouldn’t be further alerted. “Don’t take it out on her, sir. She’s just doing her job.” The woman gave him a spiteful sneer, whispering through her teeth. “And I don’t care who the hell you think you are. Even as a Navy SEAL, you won’t get to see him until you fill out the paperwork. Navy’s rules, sir, not mine.”
She stood back a step, straightened her form, and plastered a smile on her face. Tucker never had hit a woman, but he wanted to hit this one. He knew it wouldn’t be smart, and he did his practiced deep breathing technique until his ire dissipated. Clutching the clipboard, he took it over to an armed chair and prepared the form. He nearly shattered the pencil gripped in his hand.
As he was signing the bottom, a young woman appeared in front of him, wearing a white lab coat.
“I’m Dr. Christen Saunders. You must be Tucker Hudson?” She held out her hand.
The doctor had a firm handshake, her bright blue eyes peering deep into his. Her attractiveness was probably her secret weapon as Tucker found it hard to stay angry standing before her.
“Yes, I’m here to see Brawley Hanks,” he mumbled as he stood.
“Can I have that?” She pointed to the clipboard. Tucker gave it up.
“We’ve been expecting you, Tucker. May I call you Tucker, or would you prefer another term to address you?”
“Tucker’s fine,” he answered. He shifted his weight and felt exposed, speaking to the doctor in front of so many prying eyes.
“If you could follow me?”
He walked beside her, looking over his shoulder at the large woman behind the desk who was still protecting her turf and her protégé.
“Carmen can be a lit
tle harsh at times, but we’ve recently had some issues with some of our patient’s rights being violated. I understand Brawley has been here before. These are new procedures.”
“No problem.”
As they continued down a highly polished wide hallway decorated with paintings done by patients and some by staff, he asked her how Brawley was doing.
“He’s moving forward.” She stopped. “Most guys like Brawley will be fine outside on their own, and can live normal, effective lives, eventually. But he’s going to always react to stress in ways perhaps you or I wouldn’t react. And I want to warn you, I doubt you’ll be able to take him on future missions. I tell you this,” she lowered her voice as a patient slipped by in a wheelchair, “because he’s spent a lot of time talking about you two. He’s very concerned how you think of him.”
“Understood. Thank you, doctor.”
They began walking again. “So my admonition is to make this a very light meeting. Don’t stay too long, but come back soon. Tell him things he’ll like hearing. Just reconnect. It will do him a world of good.”
Tucker recalled his argument with Brandy this morning, especially the “happy, happy, happy” comment, and it annoyed him. “You want me to lie to him?”
“No. Just steer the conversation so you don’t have to, and keep it to things he likes.”
Tucker stopped this time. “But he likes the adventure of being on the Teams. He lives for that.”
“Then you’ll have to find something else he likes just as well. Just as intensely.” Her pretty eyelids fluttered, and in his single days, he’d have found her attractive because she had an edge to her he liked. This gave him an idea.
“Do you get along with him?” Tucker asked.
“Oh yes. I think we have a very frank relationship. He’s really coming along well. I’ve seen his chart from before, and he doesn’t have any of the memory losses.”
“Okay, good. Thank you, doctor.”
When they arrived at Brawley’s open door, Dr. Saunders greeted him cheerily. “We have a surprise for you today, Brawley.”
SEALed Forever Page 13