Beside Diego, Caio mustered a smile when people greeted him, but he preferred to stay in his bubble.
It was impossible to follow just one thread of conversation, and between greeting the people he hadn’t seen yet and giving out hugs and kisses on the cheek, they made their way out of the building to join the other athletes of the village. It took almost an hour to get into a bus, but compared to the wait, the trip flew by, since a few lanes of the road had been cleared for the athletes.
As the Stade de France came into view, Diego felt his heartbeat picking up. When the bus arrived, volunteers guided the athletes to the waiting area and passed water bottles as they organized each country for the parade.
Brazil was in the first part of the night, so they wouldn’t need to wait out there for long.
In the middle of the chaotic preceremony wait, Diego got a message from his mom.
[Mom] We just got in. Sorry for not calling before. Phone was dead, and I charged as we got settled into our room.
[Diego] Hey, Mom. Glad to know you guys are okay. You still coming to the stadium?
[Mom] We’re already seated! I’m taking pictures of everything, so if I can’t find you in the middle, please wave or something.
[Diego] I’ll try.
He smiled at his mom’s message. It would be close to impossible to see her in the stands.
He lowered his phone as a volunteer came up to give instructions to the Brazilian athletes and they moved into the innards of the stadium at a slow pace.
Afternoon was turning into night out there.
According to protocol, the team from Brazil was after Botswana and in front of the British Virgin Islands. Before they got in, Diego and Caio settled in the back end of the group, right along with the guys from the judo team and the football squad. There were a few TV screens spread out so they could see the first part of the ceremony, but with so many people around, it was hard to pay attention to it.
By the time the Parade of Nations started, the Brazilian team was chanting a bunch of different things—no sense of organization at all in that mess. It put Diego’s anxiety to dance, but no one seemed to be able to stay quiet. Some of the volunteers tried to keep the ruckus down, but the rest just let them be. A few even joined the party.
Diego could feel the energy surrounding him as he counted down the minutes to hear their call. He registered when Caio moved closer to him and slung an arm around his shoulders. At times Diego wanted his partner not to be as comfortable with him, but the urge to move away from the touch wasn’t as strong as the craving for connection, most of all when he had that heavy and muscled arm pulling him into a wall of warmth. Diego leaned into Caio’s side, not caring about anything else.
“You don’t seem so worried about your fashion anymore.” Caio raised his voice above the sound of a thousand others.
“Nah, not really.” Diego lifted and dropped his shoulders, dislodging the arm around him, but Caio arranged the two of them together.
There was tension and excitement emanating not only from him but from everyone, and it reached a peak when the sound system called them up.
“Brazil! Brésil!”
A big cheer invaded the tunnel and washed over Diego like a wave of electricity. The athletes cheered along with the crowd, and Diego wanted to jump out of his skin, but with Caio grounding him, he felt more settled than he thought he would.
Diego had forgotten to get his camera rolling for a video, but he didn’t care. His body pulsed with a mix of samba and animal sounds from the forest as they got into the stadium and the stands turned into a sea of green and yellow and blue, illuminated with LED lighting.
He was at the Olympics, and it all had been worth it.
With camera flashes coming from everywhere, he didn’t know where to look. By coincidence, Diego glanced at the big screen on the other side of the stands and saw the image of himself and Caio, side by side as they walked.
He flicked a wave at the camera, hoping his parents would see it, but out of nowhere, a dozen other athletes jumped in front of him, and he could no longer see. It was just a second of screen time before he was swallowed by a sea of people.
With a smile on his lips, Diego turned to Caio to comment about what just happened, but he almost hit his nose on Caio’s as their faces got too close. The lights were blinding him, he could see them reflecting in Caio’s eyes, could see Caio licking his lips, their gazes connected. Diego could even feel Caio’s breath on his skin.
That moment seemed to last maybe an entire set in a volleyball match, but it was a mere few seconds before they pulled away.
“Sorry,” Diego said, his cheeks warm.
Caio shook his head at him. “Oh, no worries.”
And then Caio was a couple of feet away, so close yet so far at the same time.
In Diego’s mind, that scene played over and over again.
Chapter Two
CAIO prided himself on being able to balance his life. In his partnership with Diego, that balance came from work. It wasn’t easy to combine two different personalities who were at distinct points in their lives and make them work as a team. But when they got together on the sand court, things fell into place.
He had built a good relationship with his sister as she learned how to be their coach, and he dedicated his free time to his daughter, but he also had plans for the future, because he wouldn’t be able to keep up with his routine forever.
Balance was everything. Ever since he was burned by a past relationship, he had never let his feelings get the better of him, never let physical attraction become a detriment to the life he had carefully cultivated. But in that brief close encounter with Diego, Caio’s balance had wavered for the first time in years.
It wavered just slightly, mind you, before Caio forced his mind to right itself.
When he and Diego reunited with the other athletes at the center of the stadium, his partner took pictures and spoke to people, while Caio glanced about at faces that were unknown to him.
“Hey, can you take a picture of us?” Diego’s voice pulled at him until he looked.
Girls surrounded Diego, and he passed his phone to Caio as though he didn’t need or expect an answer. Caio took a series of pictures and handed the phone back to Diego. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, man.” Diego tapped him on the shoulder but then went on talking to the girls. He was very in his element, and Caio didn’t want to seem as though he weren’t all right.
He watched the big screen on the stadium, but a few minutes later, his phone vibrated with messages from Marina.
[Marina] Just a heads up, there’s a picture of you making the rounds on my feed.
[Marina] And people are wondering “stuff” about you.
[Marina] I’m sending you the pic.
Caio was surprised and confused at first. He had no idea what his sister was talking about, though he was slightly worried all of a sudden.
When the photo finally loaded on his screen, Caio widened his eyes. That picture seemed to point out exactly what had upset his balance, and Caio could already see why people were talking about it. It showed him and Diego with not a lot of space between them. It was in that moment where they almost hit their noses, when they were too close for comfort. Caio wondered how someone even managed to get a picture of it. He texted back.
[Caio] What are people talking about?
[Marina] Just wondering if the two of you are an item, but that’s the internet for you.
Caio shook his head. The assumption was valid, and people would interpret a picture how they wanted, but as he looked at it again, he couldn’t help but feel something—maybe a yearning for contact and touch, though he wasn’t even sure his partner was the best person for that. He knew how destructive having a relationship with a partner could be.
Marina was silent after that; it had just been a heads-up from her. But Caio’s mind kept wandering as the ceremony went on.
There was a string of speeches before the
rings were presented, formed with LED lights and hanging from drones that descended into the stadium. Then a soulful song in French and English lulled the crowd during the torch relay before the cauldron was lit. He kept an eye out for Diego, who moved from one group to another, and Caio was never too far behind and inched toward him like a satellite following its mother planet.
Caio eventually managed to center himself. First and foremost there was a competition ahead of them, and they came prepared to go as far as they could. Then Caio wanted to rest for a time and gather the energy for the next stage of his life. He had a semblance of an idea in mind. He’d been a volunteer at some charities that did outreach programs with kids and used sports as a character-building tool. He thought about getting involved with that in the future.
At the end of the night, his mind was in a better place, but Caio hesitated before he called Diego, because they should leave sooner rather than later. He checked his phone to see if Marina had sent him anything else, but there was only a picture of her and Alice in the stands, smiling at the camera.
He was sending his sister a smiling emoji when Diego found him instead.
“Hey, do you think we should leave too?” Diego stepped close to Caio. His face was flushed because he had been dancing, and it seemed that he had enjoyed himself.
“Yeah. We have a game tomorrow,” Caio told him.
Diego dipped his head once and pressed his lips together.
“I’m just going to say goodbye to the girls so we can go.”
“Okay.”
Caio waited as the band played on stage. When Diego found him again, the two made their way out of the stadium. Caio motioned with his head toward one of the exits, and they followed the groups of people to the bus stop.
Beside him, Diego was on his phone from time to time, though he was flexing the fingers of his hands, something Caio had seen him doing during games. It made him wonder if Diego was nervous.
“So, did you like it?” Caio asked.
Diego lowered his phone but took a moment to give an answer.
“It was fun,” he said, his voice showing signs of exhaustion. But there was also something more affecting him, and Diego sighed before he found the resolve to say what was eating away at him. He was never good at keeping stuff to himself. “I saw a picture of us from tonight,” he started, and Caio nodded his head.
“You know, then?”
“Yeah, if it’s the picture Marina sent me. She’s always on top of things. Are you worried about it? Is there a boyfriend I don’t know about that’s going to be jealous of it?” Caio let the question come out, only later realizing he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask.
Diego shook his head, his eyes almost comically wide. “Not really.” Then he laughed. “I was just worried about what you were going to think of it.”
“What I was going to think of it?”
They found the end of the line at the bus stop and waited for the next one to come.
“I mean, people were messaging me and… stuff.” Diego flexed his fingers again.
“What did they say?”
Diego worried his bottom lip and scratched the back of his head.
“You know, the image is a bit suggestive.”
“Maybe,” Caio conceded. “If you read too much into it.”
“I guess.” Diego looked away.
Caio wasn’t sure he’d said the right thing, because silence enveloped them after that.
They got onto a bus with people from different countries, some of them singing the songs that had played that night, others talking in loud and vibrant tones, but Caio and Diego seemed to be set apart from the rest of the crowd.
When they got off at the gates of the Olympic Village, Caio mustered the courage to open his mouth. He battled with his words, and that wasn’t like him.
“You know I have no problem with the picture, right?”
Of course he wouldn’t have. The assumption that the two of them were gay would never be a problem, because it was the truth, and they didn’t hide it. At least not anymore. But the way people perceived their relationship… well, that could be a problem.
“I know.” Diego’s voice came out lower and raspier than usual.
The unsettled atmosphere followed them into the elevator and then up to their floor. As they walked toward the end of the corridor, Diego’s phone rang.
“Oh, it’s Mom.” He paused to look at the screen. “I think I’ll take it here? I don’t know if the other guys are already in or not.”
“All right. I’m going, then.” Caio pointed to the other side. Putting some distance between them didn’t seem to be a bad thing.
As Caio moved with measured steps, he could hear Diego animatedly greeting his mother.
Caio turned the corner to approach the door to their accommodation, ready to get his keys, but he noticed a suitcase parked in the hallway, right in front of his apartment. The door was ajar, and there were voices coming through the open crack.
Caio wasn’t sure he wanted to go inside.
“Just leave your stuff in the room, and let’s go down to pick up the rest from the car. I don’t want the driver to leave with our bags.” That annoyed, somewhat exasperated voice belonged to a man Caio knew almost too well but wished he didn’t.
It was Adônis Vieira, his partner from a past Olympic experience.
“All right, all right. Let me just take my stuff into the room.” And this was Adônis’ current partner, Elton dos Santos.
“I’ll get the other suitcase and—” Adônis stopped abruptly when he pulled the door open and came face to face with Caio. “Oh, hi?”
The way Adônis looked at him, with his wide-open eyes and the kind expression on his face, was exactly the same way he used to look at Caio in the past. But this time that expression lasted for all of a second. Then his features hardened.
“Hey, um—” Caio lifted a hand in greeting, and the pressure of the air in the room dropped.
From the other side of the living area, almost inside one of the bedrooms, Elton glanced at him and then averted his eyes the next moment, as though he didn’t want to be in the presence of Adônis and Caio together.
For his part, Adônis gave Caio some space to enter the apartment, even though it seemed as though he didn’t want to. Then he grabbed the suitcase he had left outside and pulled it into the room. They said nothing as Elton came out and grabbed some more of their gear from the floor and moved into the bedroom again.
“You guys got in all right?” Adônis inquired off-handedly. He didn’t offer a hand in greeting. Making small talk was the extent of his cordiality. Caio wondered why they just couldn’t ignore each other and stew in awkward silence until one of them walked away.
“Yeah,” Caio answered. “We just came back from the ceremony. Did you guys, um, miss your flight or something?”
“Our flight was delayed.” Adônis picked up his suitcase, seemingly ready to move, but he stayed where he was. He puffed some air to remove the blonde bangs from his eyes. They’d been there since Caio was his partner. “We were scheduled for some time at the training courts today, but I guess we’re going to do that tomorrow. Acclimatize a bit before our matches, that is.”
In contrast to Caio and Diego’s preparation, Adônis and Elton had been training in the Netherlands and then Germany prior to the Games, and had flown in at the last minute. Being the team with a lot more sponsors certainly had its perks, because Caio was used to planning their expenses in detail to make the most of what funds were available to their team. Not a lot of people were willing to shell out money for two guys out of the closet, even today.
A minute later, Elton came out of their room and hurried through the living space. He didn’t raise his eyes to look at Caio on the way out.
“I’ll get the rest of our stuff,” he called, almost out the door.
Caio moved aside not to get hit by him, but Diego, who was coming from the hallway, wasn’t able to do anything but jump back in reaction.<
br />
“Hey—” Diego’s protest died on his lips when he saw everyone in the apartment. Elton kept going on his way as though nothing had happened.
With a displeased look on his face, Diego glanced at Caio, who preemptively shook his head.
They had a discussion with their eyebrows while Adônis dragged the rest of his stuff into the room and came back.
“You guys enjoy the place. I have to help my partner,” Adônis said. Then he went out and closed the door after himself.
Instantly, the tension in the room faded.
“That went well,” Diego quipped.
Caio couldn’t help but snort, and Diego shook his head as he walked toward their room. Caio followed him.
“Dibs on the shower?” Diego turned around to look at Caio as he got in.
“Yeah, yeah. You can go.” Caio waved him away. Diego then saluted him in a mocking fashion and pivoted to his side of the room.
Somehow they seemed to have tacitly agreed not to let any awkwardness show in front of their opponents, and maybe it wasn’t even there anymore. Up to that moment, they had always managed to overcome any hiccups along the way.
In the small apartment that only slept four, Caio and Diego at least had each their own space, separated from the other two. The bedroom had two beds, two shelves, and a nightstand in the middle. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. It was a place to hide, if only to avoid the other team.
Provided they managed to do that, perhaps things wouldn’t get too complicated, if that welcome was anything to go by. At least Caio was glad he wasn’t sharing a room with his ex, because he hadn’t been in bed with Adônis for years now, and he wasn’t planning on doing that again anytime soon.
Chapter Three
THE hashtag #pato trended for a few hours after the Opening Ceremony. It was both their surnames combined together—Paraguassú and Torres—heading a tag used to post not only montages of the two of them but also funny memes with their faces during the broadcast. The image that turned up the most in the tag was that picture one sneaky photographer had taken.
Matchpoint Page 2