Ryker must have sensed my hesitation because he gently released me and gave me space. He returned the blood bag to his jacket pocket while I caught my breath. “You did well today,” he said. “All things considered.”
So we’re pretending that didn’t just happen?
“Yeah, not too bad until the end there,” I said. I wiped my sweaty palms on my shorts and went for a glass of water while Ryker slipped his jacket back on. “Leaving so soon?”
“Unfortunately,” Ryker said, frowning. He really did look sorry to go. “I have business to take care of. I won’t be able to visit tomorrow, but if you need anything at all, call me.” He raised his eyebrows meaningfully as he always did. It had become another routine of ours. He really did mean it when he said he wanted to help me.
“I’ll call if I need anything,” I assured him.
“Good.” He stepped closer, stealing away the breath I’d just gotten back. “Be good.” His fingers brushed through my hair gently before he gave me a tender kiss on the forehead.
Then, like the vampire he was, he vanished.
I sighed as the air settled around me. “Fucking vampires.”
Chapter 2
“All right, Clara. Today is the day.”
I stared down my reflection, determination set in my brow and hands on my hips. If I looked ready enough, I could convince myself to leave the apartment—or at least that was the theory.
Narrowing my eyes, I took a deep, steadying breath before pointing my finger sternly at my reflection. “You’re going to march down that street like it’s any other day. No one is going to bleed in your presence. You’re going to walk into that store, buy a few things, and walk home without killing anyone. Got it?”
Reflection me didn’t change despite my words. She stared back with the same uncertainty turning my stomach.
I sighed and turned away from the mirror. I knew I should be waiting for Ryker to do this, but after yesterday’s exercise, I needed to do this on my own. I couldn’t keep relying on him, and I certainly couldn’t go on ignoring the outside world like it no longer existed just because I was afraid to walk in it.
“You can do this. You can do this,” I muttered as I rolled up toilet paper and shoved it far up my nose. I winced at the uncomfortable sensation but kept on moving, filling the other nostril as much as I could without having tissue dangling out of my nostrils.
By the time I looked back in the mirror, I couldn’t see any tissue unless I tilted my head back.
“That’ll do,” I said, a smile curving my lips.
Next, I walked around my tiny apartment smelling things. It was possibly the strangest thing I’d ever done besides going Demon Bitch Mode, but once I was ninety-nine percent sure I couldn’t smell a thing, I finally deemed it time to lady up and go out.
“You’re not going to kill anyone if you can’t smell blood,” I assured myself as I laced up my sneakers. I glanced at the door every few seconds, part of me hoping that Ryker would show up and accompany me, and the other part hoping the hallway collapsed so I didn’t have to go at all.
I shook my head to clear the images of a collapsed ceiling, and I opened the door. “Come on girl, it’s not that scary. You used to walk to the convenience store all the time.”
Right, but that was before I’d murdered innocent people and developed an intense desire for blood. A shiver descended my spine as I stared at the front door; purse, keys and cellphone in hand.
No matter how much I told myself it was going to be okay, the truth was, I’d never know until I actually tested myself. If I could go to the store and back without hurting anyone, that would give me the strength I needed to see my friends and my mom next—or at least I hoped. I still didn’t want to put them in danger, but maybe a visit with Ryker present wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I could come up with some lie as to who he was. Maybe he was an old friend, or a student in my class.
I scoffed. There was no way anyone would believe Ryker was a student. Knowing Jamie and Gloria, they’d jump right on the ‘is this your new boyfriend’ train. Oh boy. I’m not sure I could handle that right now.
I shook my head and finally gripped the doorknob. With a quick turn of my wrist, the door opened and I was stepping into the hallway for the first time in two weeks.
“One step at a time, Clara,” I murmured.
Slowly, I locked my door behind me, then made my way down the stairs. What was normally a musty smelling stairwell that had me wrinkling my nose was scentless with the tissue clogging my nostrils.
My heartbeat sped up at the realization. Thank God! Maybe this would work after all.
I finished the trek down the three flights of stairs to the first floor. Someone from another floor was gathering their mail in the lobby, but he didn’t offer me a second glance as he went about his business. I slipped around him, holding my breath as I pushed out the front door.
The sounds of the city burst around me—car horns, screeching tires, shouting from an alley nearby, endless chatter and the distant thump of music. I risked a deep inhale through my mouth, but again, scent evaded me.
Holy shit! This is really going to work!
I straight up beamed. I couldn’t help it. My smile wouldn’t be contained any more than my peppy steps. I couldn’t smell a damn thing! In New York fucking City of all places. I should be able to smell the pollution, the urine, and the other unmentionables that wafted through the streets, but instead, my nose was clear—well stuffed—and the stench of NYC eluded me.
I wanted to cry I was so relieved. If I couldn’t smell New York, then there’s no way in hell I could smell blood. And while I might not want to go out with tissue stuffed up my nose for the rest of my life, maybe I could try something else, at least until I got a handle on my demoness.
Sun bathed my face as I tilted my head up to the sky. It was nearly May, and the sun was hot with the coming summer. I couldn’t wait. My life wasn’t over.
I blinked in surprise at myself. My life wasn’t over.
For the last two weeks I’d been living my life like this was some kind of death sentence, but I could still do this. I could get a job, and see my friends and my mom. I could live like a mostly human girl.
The relief was almost enough to send me spiraling into a happy-tear sob session. Instead, I took a deep, shuddering breath, and continued down the street, getting more than one strange look from passersby.
I arrived at the corner store a few minutes later. It was a decent size for my part of town with a small selection of fresh produce along with all the usual perishables, breads, dairy products, and of course, snacks. I licked my lips as I stepped inside; meandering passed the baked goods at the front of the store.
The teenager at the cash register glanced up from her magazine, popping her bubble gum before she resumed ignoring the world.
I grabbed a basket by the front and went about loading it with goodies—including chocolate chip cookies, homemade strawberry ice cream, a pint of blueberries, some bread and a few other grocery items. I was so elated and wrapped up in my own head that I jumped when my phone rang.
My heart skipped and I held a hand to my chest. “What now?” I hissed. I pulled out my cellphone to find my mom on the caller ID, a picture of the two of us appearing behind the call answer and decline buttons. My chest squeezed. I missed her. We used to hang out every week, or get dinner at least once. Ghosting Miss Mama Bear wasn’t going to fly, but I needed more time.
I worried my lip between my teeth as my phone continued to ring. “Sorry, Mom,” I whispered as I hit call decline. I might have my shit together enough to go to the corner store, but talking to my mom was going to require some answers. I couldn’t even imagine what the hell I was going to tell her.
Hey Mom, so I was drugged with blood at this party, and oh hey, I guess my dad is actually a demon, and surprise!—I’m one too!
Because that’d go over well.
I sighed and stuck my phone back into my pocket before I finished gat
hering supplies—including a couple nasal sprays to try.
Once I was finished, I hurried to the cash. I didn’t have to wait in line long. By the time I’d paid up and slipped back outside, the sun dipped over the horizon.
I shielded my eyes from the burning red and yellow glare, wishing I’d brought sunglasses on my little excursion. My excitement over my conquest was beginning to fade with the setting sun. I might have gotten through a thirty-minute outing, but I was a long way from being safe around others.
Clutching my bags tighter, I made my way back up the street. I’d chosen this time of day for the lack of foot traffic. Most people were already home by now, having supper with or without their families, getting cocktails with co-workers, or just generally being inside. I only passed a few people on my way back to my apartment, and was nearly there when a spark of orange flashed in my peripheral.
I stopped dead, my eyebrows furrowing as I peered down an alley. I didn’t see anything but the usual garbage bins and rats scurrying across black bags of trash.
I wrinkled my nose and turned to keep going when that shot of orange dashed out of the alley and flew across the sidewalk.
“A cat?” I gasped as the furry critter leapt off the sidewalk and right into oncoming traffic. “Wait!”
I barely got the word out before a taxi clipped the cat’s hindquarters. My heart dropped into my stomach as I screamed for the next car to stop. I leapt in front of a black sedan, which screeched to a halt inches from the orange tabby lying on the asphalt.
“Hey! Get the fuck outta the street, lady!” a man with a Brooklyn accent shouted from the sedan.
I ignored the driver and crouched beside the cat. It blinked lazily, probably stunned from the hit. “Hey, handsome boy,” I murmured softly.
I hadn’t been allowed to have a pet since my hamster died in third grade, but I’d always loved animals. Seeing this beautiful fur ball lying on the street wrenched something deep inside of me. Tears burned the back of my eyes as I ran a hand gently over his soft, thick fur.
The cat flinched, but didn’t make a move to attack. His large green eyes blinked up at me, that kind of sleepy half-blink cats do when they like you, or know they’re safe. He slowly shifted onto his front paws, but the second he put pressure on his left back leg, he collapsed.
“You’re hurt.” My chest panged. Most street cats were smart enough to stay out of traffic, but this guy looked well groomed. He must belong to someone. No wonder he was so calm. “Do you want to come home with me? It’s too late for a vet visit, but I can splint your leg in the meantime.”
I don’t know why I was talking to the cat like he could understand me, but I couldn’t help it. I needed him to trust me at least a little so he’d let me pick him up and take him somewhere safe.
“I said, get the fuck outta the street!” The sedan driver blared his horn, making me wince.
The cat didn’t even flinch, but anger boiled inside me. This cat was hurt. I’m sure taking a few extra minutes to wait to merge into the next lane wasn’t going to kill this guy.
“Bite me, asshole,” I growled.
The cat looked between the car and me, his whiskers twitching. I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining things because of the adrenaline rushing through me, but I swear he was almost smiling.
“Let’s get you home.” As gently as I could, I slipped my hands around the cat’s belly, and slowly heaved him into my arms. He didn’t make a fuss like some cats. Instead, he relaxed against my shoulder, perching up there like I was his own personal windowsill. “Good boy.” I smiled as I slowly straightened; making sure he was well adjusted and wouldn’t slip.
“Fucking bitch,” the driver laid on the horn again.
Heat flashed through me and I slammed my foot against the sedan’s front bumper. It bent with a squeal of metal. The driver’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t blow the horn at me again. He grumbled to himself as I slowly lowered my foot and got out of the street.
“That’s what I thought.” I glared at the driver as he pulled away, speeding through the intersection up ahead. “What an asshole.”
The tabby purred and rubbed his face against my neck, making me laugh. It was the first time in weeks that I almost felt normal. Though it was just a cat, the fact that it didn’t hiss and spit at me, somehow sensing ‘the evil in me’, made me want to cry.
“Thanks buddy,” I whispered, petting his soft head. I took a deep breath as I bent to retrieve my bags. With the shopping bags in one arm and the cat in the other, it wasn’t going to be easy opening doors, but at least he was alive, and didn’t seem too worse for wear. “Let’s get you home and fixed up. I even bought some tuna at the store. It’s like fate.” I squeezed my little companion and his purring cranked up a notch.
I smiled to myself all the way home.
By the time I’d finally unloaded my armful of groceries on the counter and settled Mr Cat on the couch, I had a game plan in mind.
First on the agenda: cat supplies.
“Wait here for just a quick minute, okay?” I told him as I returned to the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a sec!”
I stepped out into the hallway, turning to knock on my neighbor’s door. Rose had been my neighbor for the last year or so. She was a sweet girl that mostly kept to herself. I’d only seen her a few times since she moved in, and I always meant to invite her over for tea some day, but between school and work, I’d never gotten the chance. Hopefully she remembered who I was at least.
I knocked, nerves thrumming as I waited for her to answer. I really hoped the cat would be okay. He didn’t have any external wounds besides the bum leg, but internal injuries were the real killer. I just had to get him through the night. Tomorrow I would call a vet and hopefully get him seen without delay.
“One second!” Rose called from inside, her voice distant like she was far away from the door.
I tapped my foot until finally footsteps approach the door. After a heavy clunk from the deadbolt, the door swung in.
“Oh hi,” Rose said. Her gorgeous green eyes lit up and a smile curved her wide mouth. “Clara, right?”
I nodded, my cheeks heating. Damn, I’d forgotten how gorgeous Rose was. It didn’t even seem possible. “Right. It’s been awhile.”
“That it has,” Rose agreed. She leaned against the doorframe, giving me a quick little peek into her apartment.
I tried not to be too nosy, but I was always curious about other’s homes. One day I’d be able to decorate mine like I’d always wanted.
“I know this is random, but I was wondering if you have any extra cat supplies?” I fidgeted with the corner of my shirt, unable to help myself. I’m so socially awkward, I sighed internally.
“Oh, sure.” Rose raised an eyebrow as she pushed off the doorframe. “Had a new friend drop into your life?”
I smiled. “Something like that.”
“Come in. I’ll see what I have.” Rose slipped into her apartment, leaving the door open for me to follow.
I glanced down the narrow hall, and then into the nook of a kitchen. Her apartment was similar to mine in layout, but flipped. Whereas my kitchen was on the left upon entry, hers was on the right.
Slowly, I followed Rose inside, unable to stop myself from peeking in at her kitchenware—mostly wooden with flowers carved into the handles. They had a homemade look, but were definitely well crafted. Did Rose make those? Come to think of it, I had no idea what Rose did for a living.
“I have an extra litter box you can have,” Rose called from somewhere deep in her apartment.
“That’s perfect,” I said, quickly slipping past the kitchen as not to be caught snooping.
“I have an unopened bag of litter you can have as well, and some homemade cat food in the kitchen,” Rose continued. She appeared around the corner, a plastic litter box in one hand, and a scooper and bag of litter in the other. “I have some treats and toys too if you think you’ll need them.”
“You’re too kind,�
� I said. “But I don’t know how long I’ll have him for. He might belong to someone already.”
“That’s too bad,” Rose said. Her long cream skirt fluttered in the breeze drifting in from the living room windows. She had a bit of a hippie flare to her wardrobe, but the cream of her skirt and hot pink of her bandage top complimented her ebony skin so nicely. I wished I could pull off that top, especially with warm weather on the way.
“We’ll see what happens tomorrow. He might be chipped. Hopefully the vet can help,” I said as Rose handed me the box and litter.
“The vet?” Her eyebrows shot up. “Is he okay?” Her voice rose an octave, and my heart melted just a little over the genuine concern on her face. It was always nice to find another animal lover.
“I think so. He was clipped by a cab earlier, but he seems fine besides a bad leg.”
“Poor thing.” Rose clutched her hands close to her chest.
“I’ll let you know how he does, if you want,” I added. Warmth crept up my spine—embarrassment over assuming Rose might want to see me again. Or maybe it was just that I wanted to see her. I didn’t have many friends in the city.
“Please do,” Rose said, smiling. “I look forward to it.”
I cleared my throat. Damn I was bad at keeping my cool around pretty girls. I don’t know how I hung around Ryker every day. He might not be a pretty girl, but he was certainly hot as hell, and a man I’d usually be a stuttering mess around.
Rose led me back out, giving me a small bag of food for Mr Cat as I went. “Have a good night,” she said, giving me a small wave by the door.
“Thanks again!” I said. I slipped back into the hall, waving back before returning to my apartment.
Once the door was closed behind me, I took a deep breath to regain my sense of self. It was getting late, and close to bedtime, but I still had a lot to do before I could get some sleep.
“All right, Mr Cat. I’ve got some supplies,” I announced on my way into the living room. The orange tabby lay in the same place I’d left him, sprawled out on his side on my couch. He blinked up at me tiredly. “Sorry that took so long, buddy.” I ran my hand over his head, and he purred at the touch. “Let me get the first aid kit and I’ll see what I can do for your leg.”
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