by Lucia Jordan
I walked quickly from the car to the coffee shop and then around the outside of the building and straight into the café. I weighed the idea of whether I should stand in line and order something to make it look more like I was just running into Brooke instead of the fact that I had traced her here like a creeper but decided that would be a waste of time and that I just needed to do what I came here to do—talk to her.
As I walked up to the table, Kate noticed me and locked eyes with mine. I wasn’t sure if she was on my side or Kate’s, although obviously, it would have made more sense for me to predict that she sided with her best friend. Yet still, she didn’t warn Kate that I was here. Instead, she made a small shooing motion with her hand under the table, which looked as if she were trying to send me away. Brooke picked up on where Kate was staring and turned around to look straight at me.
Before I could even open my mouth to say anything, Brooke got up and ran behind the coffee shop counter and into a back storage room. The guy sitting next to Kate chuckled, which I thought was rude, and Kate just shrugged. I started walking toward the counter, cutting through the line of people and walking behind the pastry case and into the espresso bar area.
“Hey!” Kate called from behind me. “You’re not allowed back there.”
I didn’t care. I kept walking anyway. I walked right into the tiny little storage room that was where they kept all the packages of coffee and the trays of pastries and even looked like it might be where there was some sort of makeshift manager’s office. Toward the back of the galley-style room were large barrels filled with coffee beans. I could see Brooke’s head poking out from between them.
“I can see you,” I said as I went to stand in front of her.
Brooke stood up, looking flustered and embarrassed. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Why did you send me that text?” I asked, instead of answering her question first.
We both stood there in uncomfortable silence, with neither one of us really able to explain why we did what we did. Brooke’s face was bright red, and I wasn’t sure if her flushed cheeks were caused by how hot this storage room was or by how angry she still was with me. I didn’t know how to answer her question because I wasn’t really sure what I was doing here. I just knew that I wanted to talk to her and was kind of hoping that I would be able to figure out what I wanted to say once I saw her. But that whole idea wasn’t working because instead, I found myself standing here and staring at her without speaking a single word. After a few long and awkward moments, I turned around and left.
I didn’t even look back to see if she was stunned or angry or glad that I had walked away. I didn’t turn around to see Kate and her chuckling boyfriend and what their reaction would be. Maybe there was a manager behind me getting ready to trespass me for going behind his counter. I couldn’t tell about any of it because I didn’t turn around. If I turned around, I didn’t know what I would do or say because I couldn’t get a handle on what I was feeling. Maybe it had been a bad idea for me to come at all. Not only had I ignored the entire issue with Brooke before leaving for Spokane, but now I had just walked out on her in front of her friends. This would be the part where Max would tell me what a jerk I was being.
I didn’t need Max to tell me that this time, though, because when I got into my car and then drove past the café again to get back to the intersecting street, I saw Brooke sitting back at the table with Kate and Kate’s boyfriend. This time, she was on the opposite side of the table, facing the window and had her head down as Kate was rubbing her back. Of course, the light turned red, and I had to stop right in front of the coffee shop. Thankfully, none of them thought to look outside. But when the light finally did turn green, I gave one last look into the café and saw Brooke’s head raise up, and her red and teary eyes stared out the window.
I was pretty sure that the problem was that I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings for Brooke. I was much older than her, with an extremely hectic career, and a long history of being a bachelor without really knowing how to manage a steady relationship with a woman.
I drove all the way out to my house in the mountains tonight and sat by the bonfire to watch the flames and soak in the peacefulness of the landscape. Max came over to hang out for a while, too, and I tried to explain the debacle that I had created at the coffee shop earlier in the evening. He gave me a pained look as if he were feeling my second-hand disappointment and embarrassment right alongside me.
“I’m going to pose an idea,” he said. “Maybe the reason that this is all so hard for you is that you’re in love with Brooke.”
I could feel my face contort into a defensive and dismissive expression. “Max, you’ve known me longer than anyone. Have you ever seen me be in love with a woman before?”
“No,” he answered. “I’ve mostly seen you act like a pompous ass, which is exactly why I’m saying this to you now. I’ve never seen you like this before. You can’t stop thinking about her, and the two of you were great together. The whole story you just told me about driving to the café and then standing there like a fool after chasing her into the storage room is not something that I would ever have expected you to do. It’s not like you at all. So either you’ve suddenly lost your mind, or you’re in love with her.”
I wanted to laugh out loud at what Max was suggesting, but I was too angry at the fact that I knew he was probably right. I looked at him helplessly.
“What do I do?” I asked.
“Well, I think that if you want to regain her trust and get Brooke back, then you need to show her how special she is and how much you can’t stand being without her,” Max said.
“Like send her gifts and apology notes; maybe try to get her to let me take her out somewhere for a nice evening together?”
“It’s not about gifts, or money, or empty words, or gestures. It’s about really showing Brooke that you see her and listen to her. You need to prove to her that you want to spend time with her and that you’re willing to talk about everything that happened.”
Max looked at me as if he already assumed that I didn’t get what he was saying, but I think I did. Tomorrow I would make Brooke want to see me again.
6
Chapter Four (Brooke)
“Oh my God, here comes another one!” Kate said as the flower delivery man came into the coffee shop for the fifth time in the last hour.
Each bouquet was bigger and more elaborate than the last. The flowers were getting so overwhelming that Kate had started just taking them right out of the delivery man’s hands and setting them out on the café tables for the guests to enjoy. The store manager was not pleased. He mumbled something about all the fresh flowers being against inspection and yelled at the poor delivery guy who was just trying to do his job.
Every single one of the bouquets had a small card tucked inside. And each of the cards said the same three words.
“I’m sorry—Tim.”
“Well, he sure does know how to apologize,” Kate teased. “You have to at least give him that much credit.”
“He doesn’t even know what he is apologizing for,” I said.
All of this was an empty, meaningless, albeit beautifully fragrant gesture.
When we got home to Kate’s apartment after our shift had ended, there were more surprises waiting there as well. This time, instead of flowers, there were gifts.
“Man, I don’t know what you did to this guy,” Nick said as we walked inside. “But he has it bad. I’ve been accepting packages for you all night.”
I walked over to the pile of boxes that were on the counter and spilled out onto the floor. I picked one up and opened it.
“Wow,” Nick said as he looked at the brand new laptop. “As far as apologies go, that’s not bad.”
I grabbed another, smaller package and opened it. This time it was a pair of designer sunglasses. None of this mattered to me. I didn’t want a pile of presents or a workplace full of flowers. All of this was shallow and meaningless.
“Aww, Brooke,” Kate said as she held up on of the cards attached to a package. “Maybe you should give this Tim another chance. He’s obviously trying to make up with you.”
“Aren’t you the one who told me to black his number?” I asked.
“Yep,” she laughed. “But that was before all the goodies started arriving. In all seriousness, though, his cards are sweet, and he sounds pretty miserable without you.”
“Fine,” I said, only willing to partially concede. “I’ll unblock him. But I’m not going to call or message him first. If he figures it out, then he can get a hold of me.”
Within minutes of unblocking him, Tim messaged.
I looked at Kate and held up the phone for her to see that it was him. “How is that even possible?” I asked. Maybe her boyfriend knew something about this kind of stuff. “Is there an alert that goes off when someone unblocks you?”
“Nah,” Nick said. “He must have just been checking that nonstop.”
I opened my phone to see what his message said.
Brooke, I’m sorry. Please see how sorry I am. Please come out to dinner with me just once so that I can explain everything.
“I think you should go,” Kate said.
“Are you crazy? You’re the one who thought he was a player who couldn’t be trusted.
“Well, my mind has changed.”
“Let me guess,” I interjected. “The gifts and flowers swayed you.”
“Well, they didn’t hurt,” Kate laughed. “In all seriousness, though, it does look like he’s really trying to sort things out with you. And didn’t you want some sort of closure either way?”
Kate was right. I really did want to know the whole story about what happened that night in the limo.
“I agree with Kate,” Nick said. As if I would expect anything else. “You’re obviously still crazy about the guy and miserable without him. What would you have to lose by going on one date with him to hear what he has to say?”
I hesitated. It seemed like the tables had turned, and now the two of them were all for me getting back involved with Tim. I pulled the phone up to my face and stared at the open text chat.
Okay, I’ll meet you for dinner later this week to talk.
When I hit send, I felt a sudden rush of mixed emotion.
7
*** (Brooke Continued)
“What are you going to wear?” Kate asked when she came into my room the night of my dinner date with Tim.
“Jeans and a T-shirt,” I replied without any emotion whatsoever.
Kate rolled her eyes at me. “Seriously? Jeans and a T-shirt?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Umm, because it’s a date, not a community service project,” she scoffed. “Honestly, I don’t understand you two. It’s like the minute one of you wants to make amends, the other one decides to be difficult and vice versa. I wish you would both make up your damn mind.”
Kate shifted her voice into a more gentle tone as she came to stand in front of my closet with me. I had been staring into the void of clothes for at least twenty minutes before she got there. I hadn’t set out to wear jeans and a T-shirt, but after looking at all of my clothes at least a dozen times over and not really knowing what to expect tonight, I ended up just standing there unable to choose anything. I was afraid that if I let myself think that tonight would be some sort of grand apology and a spectacular showing of how much Tim adored me, that I would be not only overdressed but also crushingly disappointed.
On the other hand, I didn’t want to show up looking like I had just gotten off a cleaning shift at work only to self-sabotage the relationship yet again. I could tell that Kate caught on to my mental dilemma because she eased up on trying to push a party dress and instead coaxed me into a sexier casual outfit.
“Okay, how about skinny jeans, black ankle boots, and a deep V-neck T-shirt that is drapey and thin?
I nodded in agreement. It sounded pretty enough to keep me from feeling bad for myself, but also not too overzealous to keep me from looking like a fool when this whole evening didn’t go as hoped.
After I got dressed, Kate flounced my hair onto my shoulders a couple of times and then put another layer of mascara on my lashes as if I were a teenager who hadn’t quite figured out how to use the mascara wand myself yet.
“Anyone I know would either kill for these lashes or be salaciously tempted by them,” she said as she stepped back and smiled at her mini-makeover work.
“You look really pretty,” she smiled.
“I agree,” Nick said from the doorway to my room.
“Do you ever not agree with Kate?” I teased.
“Only when she tells me that we’re done making love, and I think we should go at least another dozen times or so,” he joked as he came in and swooped Kate up, tossing her legs over his arm and letting her lean her head back as he spun her around until they were both giddy and dizzy.
Nick was a nice guy, and they made a good couple. Annoying at times, yes, but still a cute couple.
“Where are you going to dinner?” he asked as he set Kate onto her feet and then held her steady until she wasn’t dizzy from all the spinning anymore.
“Some rooftop bar in the city,” I answered. “I think it’s called Plethora.”
What a strange name for a bar. It sounded like one of the vocabulary words my high school English teacher would use to make himself sound smarter than he actually was.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” Nick said with wide eyes and an eager curiosity written all over his face. “That’s one of the hottest rooftop bars in the city. You have to have V.I.P. access to get into that place. I’m jealous.”
“Me too!” said Kate. “Take lots of pictures and videos for us so we can see what it looks like when you get home.
“Okay,” I said. “I will.”
There was the sound of a car pulling up outside. Kate pulled me aside before there was a chance for anyone to knock on the door.
“Just remember,” she said. “Think about things before you say them or do them. You can always add to things that were left unsaid, but you can’t take things back once they come out of your mouth.”
“Got it,” I said as if I were being prepped for some sort of mission.
When the knock at the door came, I gave myself one last look in the mirror and tried to take one more slow and calming breath. No matter what happened tonight, good or bad, at least it was a chance to talk and find out the truth.
Kate opened the door, and Tim stood there looking inconceivably hot. I was glad that I ended up wearing jeans because he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt too. Tim stared at me as if he were looking straight through my clothes, and I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or offended by his gawking. I was sure that Kate would have said flattered.
“Do you want to come in for a drink before you leave?” Nick asked Tim at the door.
I wasn’t sure why Tim would want to have a drink here before going to some elite bar in the city, but he accepted and came inside.
“You look beautiful,” he said as he walked up to me.
I could see his hands twitch at his sides as if he wanted to reach out and touch me, but he didn’t.
“Thank you for agreeing to come out with me tonight.”
I didn’t say anything as he walked in and sat down while Nick poured everyone a drink. He sat on the couch next to me, and it was unbearably tense. I kept trying not to look over at him because I knew that at first sight of his messy mahogany hair or his amber-colored eyes, that I would start to melt and be rendered illiterate in any attempt at a coherent conversation that I tried to have. Instead, I tried to look straight ahead at Kate and Nick, who were sitting on the mismatched living room armchairs. I reminded myself to scold Kate for taking those seats first and making me sit on the couch with Tim.
Even though I kept my head straight, though, it was impossible for me not to see his body out of my peripheral vision as he sat next to me. Tim had a mu
scular, runner’s body, the type that looked good beneath any type of clothing or without any clothing on at all. Every time he moved, it looked like the definition of a muscle popped and flexed beneath the fabric. The jeans he was wearing tonight were snug enough to showcase what was beneath them, and I knew that I had to make a conscious effort to keep my head together or else I would fall right back into the uncertainty that got me in this predicament to begin with.
I had one goal for the evening above all else. I needed to know what happened that night that the picture was taken. I needed to know what happened between Tim and the woman in the limousine and why he had avoided talking to me about it before he had left for his trip to Spokane. If other things were discussed, that was fine. But first, I had to deal with the issue that caused me to send that breakup text. I saw him walking out of the office building with that same woman again, so if Tim tried to deny that or tell me that I was overreacting, I had already tried to mentally prepare myself to get up and leave.
8
Chapter Five (Tim)
Everything about tonight had to be absolutely perfect and exquisite. I knew Max said it wasn’t about the materialistic things, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to make Brooke feel especially pampered, considering I had already made her feel neglected.