I got up from my blanket, barely believing he was here. It’d been a fortnight since the Order had taken him away to study the effects of the transformation on him beside Eliza. There had been no way for us to contact each other in the meantime. All I had known was that it had worked: Emerson was a witch. But nothing more.
‘Shit. You’re back,’ I said, breathless, though I hadn’t run much of a distance.
Emerson looked through me, rather than at me. It was hard to describe the way that his eyes glazed over me.
Was this it, then? The real way Emerson would have looked at me if there hadn’t been a mystery about me and a bond between us for him to be interested in me? It was oddly guttering. Even if I had expected it. I hadn’t realised how much I’d been hoping this time I wasn’t right until what I’d believed was confirmed.
Emerson stepped forwards. ‘I knew it.’
Those weren’t exactly the first words I predicted would come out of his mouth after two weeks of radio silence. I hadn’t been sure what to expect, but “I knew it” hadn’t popped into my mind.
‘It?’
He kept grinning at me. ‘You love me.’
I spluttered, my face losing colour. ‘I do not.’
He laughed at me. ‘You can’t lie to me, love. Even less than you could when I was a vampire. I know love when I see it.’
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Witch Emerson meant empath witch Emerson. Emerson was fully returned to the lamia he’d been before his vampire change, supernatural powers and all.
‘Your empath vision is wonky,’ I denied.
‘No,’ Emerson said, his voice barely a whisper, ‘it’s really not.’
After two weeks, I’m sure the Order had done a lot of vigorous testing to make sure that was the case. That’s how he had been looking at me: through the eyes of an empath witch. He had been reading me: all of me. The invisible bits even a vampire couldn’t see. I wasn’t going to get out of this by blaming him.
‘Well, its, urgh, against my wishes. And nothing more like brother, I love you, that kind of thing. It’s not like love love. I don’t- I mean, I, urgh-’
I shut myself up. I was digging myself into a hole. He didn’t even need to be able to read emotions now to see that I was flustered. Aliens from space could probably see it.
‘I had an inkling you might when you decided to risk yourself after you found out Eliza could only track you. But you have a habit of being selfless in general, I couldn’t be certain it was me specifically.’
‘It’s not,’ I lied.
Emerson shook his head. ‘You don’t need to deny it. Nothing bad will happen if you admit it,’ Emerson said.
I crossed my arms. ‘You said you couldn’t read minds when you look at someone’s emotions.’
‘I don’t read thoughts, but emotions are the easiest indicator to what’s going on in someone’s head, especially if you already know someone. Your speech and actions inform me as much as what I’m seeing.’
‘Prick,’ I muttered under my breath.
Emerson went to grab my hand. I hesitated, but he didn’t when he held me. He didn’t flinch or pull away when the silver touched his skin. He really was a full witch again.
‘Liv,’ he smiled. ‘I love you.’ He said it slowly, like he was making sure I heard every word. Gauging my reaction with his newly restored magic. ‘Even if you can’t say it to me, I just want you to know that, okay? That this isn’t all on your side.’
I held my breath, my chest feeling tight. When Christian had told me Emerson loved me, it was easy to shake that off. Christian had never met Emerson, and he didn’t know half of the story between us. But I couldn’t deny it if he was standing in front of me, holding my hand, refusing to let me go until I acknowledged him.
I couldn’t speak. Not with the lump in my throat, but it didn’t look like that mattered. Emerson continued; his brown eyes locked onto mine. As he spoke, I picked up more visible differences in the witch version of Emerson than his vampiric self. Most notably was the scaring on his neck, a mirror to the one that had all but faded from my own.
‘I started falling in love with you when you told me I had to help you get Gi into the play, and when you didn’t back down from auditioning – even though you clearly hated every minute of it.’ Emerson smiled at the memory of it.
‘I fell further with every sarcastic comment. The first time I properly heard you laugh. But I knew for certain I loved you when Grayson told me you’d volunteered to spend time with me and Charlotte so I could feel for her a fraction of what she felt for me before she turned. I knew because how could I not love a person who was so selfless in the face of every evil they’d experienced at the hands of both lamia and humans alike.
‘I could list a hundred reasons why I like you, and a thousand more why I love you-’
I tried to pull my hand from his, but he held on tight. ‘Liv. I’m not going to. It’s just a saying. I know you’d hate that. I know you’re hating every moment of this.’
‘Oh, good. So, some of your empath powers are working,’ I said, trying to deflect my unease.
‘I’m only going to ask one thing of you, not even to admit how you feel to me. Just believe me when I tell you that I love you. I know it’s hard for you to trust and part of you believes that it’s only the spell that linked us which makes me feel this way. But it’s you, I promise. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I couldn’t – because no one can compare.
‘I don’t need to list reasons why you’re perfect for me. Just know that you are, and that if I have a choice – like the one you gave back to me – it would be you. Because life is just more with you in it.’
Emerson finally stopped talking. He was waiting for me to respond, I knew that, but I had no idea what I should say. What did he want me to say? I could hardly comprehend what I wanted myself. I found the words, even if I didn’t think about them much before they were uttered.
‘I can’t – I don’t do relationships and love. I just- I don’t do them. I can’t.’
‘I know,’ Emerson said.
He was still smiling at me. I was shooting him down and he was still smiling at me. What the hell was wrong with him? Had I taken his sanity when I bit him as well as his vampirism?
‘No, no. You don’t get it. It’s not just because of Death and trying to protect the people I care about. I never-’ I shook my head. ‘Christian’s the closest I ever came to wanting to spend my life with someone; having someone in my life I knew I could count on and who just fit.
‘But that ended after a year. I’ve never had anyone in my life longer than that. Not on an everyday basis. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that and a relationship, love… that’s planning on forever.’
Emerson smiled properly, flashing me his teeth which no longer pointed quite as precisely as they did before. He ruffled his hair with his free hand, the one that wasn’t holding mine.
‘I’m not asking for forever, love. I’m done with being promised absolutes. I love that the life I get now can change at any given moment. All I’m asking for is now – just now.’
‘Just now?’ I repeated, unsure.
Emerson nodded. ‘Nothing more. We are whatever we are,’ he said, knowing I would never label us, ‘for now. Until we aren’t anymore.’
The same as we had been before – everything, really. That meant nothing had to change between us. He’d still be him; I’d still be me. we’d hold hands, and kiss, spend time with each other and just be. But could it be that simple? Letting us be had never worked before until we’d been on the run surrounded by people who didn’t know us or didn’t care.
‘You don’t mind that Gi will want to put a label on us or accuse me of using you if I don’t?’
Emerson laughed. ‘Honestly, love, I didn’t think we were going back to high school. Unless you want to graduate. In which case, I’ll be down for suffering through another six months if it means seeing you every day.’
‘Suffering?
’
‘Baseball’s fun, and rehearsals were alright – but the SATs prep and exams? Christ, I’ll be bored out of my mind.’
‘You’re simultaneously selling me the idea for the torture it would being you and reminding me why dropping out to travel with my inheritance would be a way better option.’
‘So… what do you think?’
‘What do I think about…?’ I said, choosing to be obtuse like he did so many times. It was the only way I could remain nonchalant knowing I could hardly hide the constant swirl of turmoil and emotions that went through me at any given moment.
‘Us. For now?’
I paused, mainly for ridiculous dramatic effect though I knew it was mostly unnecessary. Emerson could read my emotions. Which might not be mindreading, but it was the next best thing.
‘For now sounds good,’ I smiled, knowing only a moment would pass before he enveloped me in his arms and kissed me. Because you didn’t have to be a mind/emotion reader to know that when a boy loved a girl, he’d want to make out with that girl, especially if she loved him back.
10 Years Later
As soon as I hopped off my bike, I sensed Emerson. Whilst his vamp-glamour had never returned, the bond the spell had forged between us never fully disappeared on my part. I could always feel his presence before I saw him. There were many advantages to that – one being that now he no longer had his preternatural senses, and I wasn’t lamia so he couldn’t sense me, I could easily appear out of nowhere and scare him like he had done to me many times before when we went to school together.
‘Shite, love!’ Emerson cried, as I jabbed him in the ribs from behind.
He’d been looking for my bike in the other direction, his truck parked up with the windows rolled down. He turned around to face me, annoyed that my bike was illegally quiet, and I’d been able to sneak up on him.
‘What?’ I asked, innocently. I broke out into a grin before he enveloped me in a hug. I dissolved into it for a moment before jabbing him again to make him let me go. We had a schedule to keep and I knew he was likely to get carried away and forget.
Emerson reluctantly pulled way, but didn’t immediately hop back into the driver’s seat like I wanted him to. He stared at me from head to toe, like he was making sure every piece of me had made the trip over alright. Then his eyes glazed over.
‘Stop vibe checking me,’ I said, fidgeting with my feet.
Emerson broke out into a grin, his eyes focusing on me once more. ‘Vibe checking?’
‘It’s the twenty first century. I feel like we should update the lingo,’ I said. I’d never been comfortable with the term “reading auras” since when Emerson read me, he wasn’t looking around me, but deep inside my every molecule.
‘It’s been a week since I saw you. A guy can take a moment to check out his girlfriend.’
I rolled my eyes at him and did a sarcastic twirl for him. ‘There, you good?’
‘I don’t know, turn around a little bit slower. I didn’t quite catch enough of a view of that arse. It might have changed a bit.’
‘Eff off,’ I told him. ‘We’re going to be late.’
‘Chill out,’ Emerson said, shaking his head at me. ‘The guy’s waited twelve years. A few extra minutes isn’t going to kill him.’
‘That’s not funny.’
‘It’s kind of funny,’ Emerson said.
I stared daggers at him. He put his hands up in the air and helped me lift my bike into the flatbed of his truck. I hopped into the passenger seat so we could arrive at the prison together.
It’d been almost a decade since we left the US – but we were back for a good reason.
Our plan of living for now sent us on a quest around Europe working for the Order. Emerson continued the job role he’d begun with Gi: helping lost lamia transition into their life once they knew about their true origins. I’d taken a less… travelled path.
Whilst Emerson and Charlotte had been in the minority of cases where they’d been turned against their will, there were still vampires out there who either regretted their decision, or decided that after centuries of living unchanged, they wanted the ability to live out their life more naturally. Once the Order had deemed Emerson and Eliza’s transition away from vampirism a success, they’d looked for more volunteers to study the devolution as they’d named it. There were still few enough cases that it wasn’t an insane slog of request after request – but it kept me travelling. Kept me busy.
More often than not, I was mostly used as a Guinea pig for the Order to try and see what made the cure work with me and whether it had to be transferred by bite, or if it could be replicated. Emerson, Charlotte, Grayson and Ali had all made sure I wasn’t going to turn into another Grimm casefile.
Emerson almost always took cases in areas where the Order sent me. As we travelled constantly, we didn’t have a permanent “home”, but Emerson classed us as living together since we’d been sharing hotel rooms and rented apartments for the last eight years, and before that we’d been wasting the Order’s money by forcing them to purchase separate rooms where one bed was always unslept in.
I didn’t mind the work – I was helping people like Emerson and Charlotte – and I certainly loved the travel. For a girl who’d never had a plan for the future, my life had turned out pretty good.
My payment for working as the “vampirism cure” hadn’t simply been an hourly rate with travel perks. There was still a lot of prodding, poking and needles – and that was just the scientific tests. The magic ones were a lot more invasive. For me to fully accept all they wanted to do to me, I wanted more. I’d wanted an assurance that when Christian applied for parole he’d be allowed to walk out of prison. It was the one thing I could do to the only other person who had ever come close to meaning as much to me as Emerson did.
I’d asked the Order to get him released early at first, but apparently even if the Blood World did have connections that might make that possible, interfering with human law wasn’t something they could do – not in a way that would overrule a jail sentence. So, I’d had to wait for Christian to serve half his sentence before I knew if the Order would carry through with their part of the deal.
‘How was Charlotte?’ I asked as Emerson began the last leg of our journey to Coyote Creek Department of Corrections.
‘Sickeningly happy,’ Emerson replied.
I screwed up my face in confusion, even if that was the answer he always gave me when I asked after Charlotte. There hadn’t been a moment since I’d turned her back into a witch where that haunting expressionlessness had returned to her. Since she’d had her son, I doubted it would even be a possibility.
‘Harry’s teething. I thought that was one of the worst times in the world for parents,’ I said. Surely, she couldn’t remain happy through that? She must have complained at least once.
‘Yes, but most parents don’t have lamia friends graced with charisma who can charm the pain away like Gi can.’
Gi and Charlotte belonged to the same coven. Once Charlotte had transitioned back, she’d decided to move East to where Gi had decided to go to university. They’d both learnt about being a witch in the modern era together. And in a nauseating meet-cute kind of way, Charlotte had fallen in love with Gi’s cousin. Gi’s love story was another thing altogether, but that was a tale for another time.
‘They’re all good, then?’
‘Yeah. Their house is looking better, too. They finally filled in the porch hole.’
‘What happened to the racoons?’
‘No. You are not invested in the racoons’ lives,’ Emerson said, but he was smiling despite the mock-harsh tone he was putting on. ‘I don’t believe you. You don’t even like dogs.’
‘I was invested! The twins named them.’
‘They did that to piss off their dad and show off their college education.’ They’d both moved across country to be with their big sister. It had made sense as the twins needed their family and coven to understand their own growing
powers. Mi Cha and Dae had named the racoon family each after psychologist they’d studied in their first semester.
‘Jenny said they were cute.’
Emerson knew I never checked the AA Team group chat to have heard that firsthand. I just lived off whatever he told me about them. He kept in contact with all his friends from back in high school. For the first time in his life, Emerson didn’t have to worry about losing everyone he loved. He could experience every friendship until their natural ending.
‘Jenny thinks Martha’s rescue cat is cute.’
‘Urgh, okay, you have a point.’
We pulled up on the road outside the prison. We weren’t going inside, refusing to go through the rigamarole of having a thousand checks carried out. I knew Christian would just want to get out of there. I know I would.
Like I knew we would be, we were late. I was about to snipe at Emerson, but I was cut off. As soon as I saw Christian walking through the gates in the distance, I was out of the truck.
‘Sweetheart! Fancy seeing you here,’ Christian said.
He “umphed” as I slammed into him, my hug tighter than I’d ever crushed Emerson. He was pretty breakable now he was a witch.
Christian hugged back, picking me up with his massive arms. ‘I’d stop the touchy-feely in case your man gets jealous, but damn, it’s good to touch you.’
‘Don’t make me kick you in the balls, King,’ I told him as his hands wandered down from my back ridiculously close to my ass.
‘Oh, an offer to touch my balls by a hot woman. How I’ve missed the outside world, Morgan,’ Christian laughed.
He gave me another hug before he let me go. ‘What’s the plan? Get me piss drunk and then help me scour the streets for my new abode?’
‘I thought your probation officer is helping you find somewhere to live?’
‘The streets call to me. Homelessness is so in next to prison chic,’ he said with a straight face.
‘You’re kidding.’ It was actually very hard to tell whether Christian was being sarcastic or not.
He grunted. Infuriating man.
‘I’m not expecting much,’ Christian finally said. I knew he simultaneously meant from his probation officer and out of life in general.
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