Sweet on You

by Carla de Guzman

  “Oh. I never knew that.”

  “Lots of things you don’t know about me yet,” Selene chuckled before she lifted a leg and lightly kicked Sari’s loose robe. “But I did promise I would try a little more. You ready to talk about the baker boy?”

  “The baker boy is moving on with his life. I’m all right.”

  “Is ‘all right’ special Time Lord code for ‘really not all right at all’?”

  “What?”

  “Ignore that. But Sari. You’re miserable. You’ve been acting like the world is going to come crashing down on your shoulders since the moment Christmas started. And I can see you trying to make things better. But some days it just doesn’t work, does it?”

  Her voice was so gentle and kind. Sari had always thought that while her grandmother clothed her and fed her, Selene was the one who’d raised her, and truly loved her. Selene was the voice in her head. Her conscience, her slightly scary guide.

  And if Selene was telling her something was wrong...well, she had to be right.

  “I just feel like everyone’s moving on without me,” Sari said, and her shoulders actually heaved at the weight that the sentence lifted off of her. How long had she been holding on to this? “First it was Mom and Dad, then Lola, then you, then Sam. And now Gabriel. I wasn’t supposed to like him this much, or need him this much, Ate. And I’m really happy that he gets what he wants. Even if I’m not a part of it, but I miss him. I might even love him, and that’s terrifying, because he could leave me, and devastate me.”

  “Does it have to be like that, though?” Selene asked her, kicking her robe again. “Gabriel isn’t moving to another continent, he’s going to be across the street. And if you’re worried about the Laneways, then we’ll deal with it when it comes. Life is always going to change up, Sari. You and I know that more than most people. But if you give him the chance, I’m sure Gab will do everything he can to stay with you.” She squeezed Sari’s hand. “And I know I’m not a therapist, and I might not know everything, but Sari... I still think you should see one.”

  “I know,” Sari agreed. Not because she needed fixing. She just needed a little help. A new perspective.

  “And...if there’s anything we’ve learned, the three of us, it’s that people can still stick around no matter what the crazy circumstance. That relationships take work that you have to be willing to put in. We’re Tomases, and we are anything but cowards.”

  “You’re calling me a coward?”

  “Yes! It’s called falling in love because you trust that the other person can catch you.” Selene grinned at her sister. “And yes, I got that from one of your historical romance books. But isn’t that why you love them so much? Because the heroines are all strong enough to go after what they want, and damn the consequences, damn society?”

  “I’m not a historical romance heroine though,” Sari grumbled, pulling her knees up and resting her chin on top of them.

  “No. You’re Sari. You’re one of my two favorite sisters, and I think you could fix this if you wanted to.” Selene took one swallow of her coffee and kissed the side of Sari’s temple. “Now go to sleep. Santa Claus won’t come if you stay up.”

  “If you think that’s going to work on me, then...fine,” Sari sighed, getting up from her spot, taking her plates and coffee cup back into the house. She didn’t know what to do, still. But maybe a good night’s rest and a little Christmas magic would help.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  December 25, Manila

  “Gabriel, I think we need to talk.”

  Gab looked up from the breakfast table where Iris was trying to show everyone a video of a meme that he still didn’t quite understand. As with a lot of events that involved the Capras family, Christmas morning was a loud affair. Everyone was still in their pajamas at eleven in the morning, having a lazy brunch of leftovers from the night before. But this morning, there was the addition of butter that Gabriel had made with unpasteurized milk from Blossom Farms (his siblings had been so confused when he explained that you could easily make butter) bread that he’d made just that morning with some of his old starter, and quezo de bola cheesecake already in the refrigerator.

  The man couldn’t sleep, but hey, at least his siblings were happy and very well fed.

  Carrying a cup of coffee for both of them, Gab followed his father to the patio, where his father sat in the chair he sat in every afternoon to play Candy Crush. Hunter Capras was a man of work and routine, and you could always know where to find him depending on what time of day it was.

  Inside he heard Mindy saying, “Oooh Kuya is in trou-ble!” while Lily and Daisy shushed her. Which always prompted Mindy complaining about why she was suffering from middle child syndrome when she was clearly part of the big kids group (she was not).

  “Dad?” Gab asked, sitting across from his father. The scent of freshly brewed barako made Gab’s stomach twist. He still missed Sari. Clearly baking his pain away wasn’t going to work this time.

  “I know we don’t usually talk about things.” His father frowned, putting his phone down, which only meant Gab was in big trouble. “But we need to talk about this last year.”

  “I got a mall deal too, Dad,” Gabriel said, because this was exactly what his father wanted to be proud of. “They’re opening a big one next to where my shop is, and they want us to open a store there. Then three branches in three years.”

  Hunter’s face was inscrutable, but it softened slightly with a smile. “That’s great, son,” he told him, which was a lot more of a subtle reaction than Gab was expecting. “Are you happy?”

  “I...guess so.” Gabriel shrugged. “This is what you wanted for me, isn’t it?”

  “Me?” Hunter asked, clearly surprised, and Gabriel really, really wasn’t enjoying where this conversation was going. “All I want for you is to be happy and settled. Comfortable with your life. Even if it’s not in Manila. Your mom and I were just hurt you didn’t want us to be part of your life.”

  “But you said...” He couldn’t believe this. After all of this time, after everything he’d given up, now his father chilled out and decided he could do whatever he wanted? Gabriel found himself standing, his pulse racing, his heart hurting. “Dad, you said...”

  “I know what I said.” Hunter frowned slightly. Everyone commented how much Gab looked like his mother, with the dimples and curly hair and all, but Gabriel oddly recognized a bit of himself in his father, in his stubbornness, his unwillingness to admit that he’d been wrong. “But you’re old enough that you can decide on what you truly want for yourself. If that’s a big store with three branches, great. If it’s what you’re able to do now, then that’s fine too. You should be able to define for yourself what you need. You’re not a kid anymore, Gabriel.”

  He felt his heart sink in his chest, even as hope blossomed to replace it. All this time, he’d buried himself in the weight of his father’s expectations, and he was just getting that he didn’t need them at all. Daisy and Lily and even Rose were right—Hunter was never going to change. But it didn’t change how Gabriel loved his father. In the most complex way possible. But the choices Gab made were his, and his alone. And he knew the choice he had to make now.

  He wanted to stay.

  He wanted to stay in the Laneways with Sari and Ate Nessie, Kira and Ransom and Faye, wanted to be part of the community there. He still had a year on his lease, he could use one more. That didn’t mean he wasn’t open to expanding his business later on, because he still did. But not yet. For now, he wanted to stay in the place that felt like home.

  If he was younger, he would yell at his father for this. Make him understand even a little bit what Gabriel gave up trying to please him. But he didn’t want to do that anymore. His father was trying his best, just as they all were, and didn’t need to be saddled with more guilt than his son was already feeling.

  I’ll end up figh
ting on him with everything, Gabriel thought, shaking his head. Thank God I have Mom and the siblings.

  “Dad,” Gabriel said, giving his father a quick hug. “I want everyone to drive up to Lipa for my bakery’s grand opening. I’ll put you guys up at this cool hotel in the city. I think you’ll like the weather there.”

  Hunter patted Gabriel’s hand, and squeezed for a second. “I’m sure your mom and I will like it. Are you going somewhere?”

  “I have to talk to my business partner.” Gab shook his head. “Shit. Santi is going to kill me.”

  Unless Sari kills me first, he added to himself before he headed back into the house, where predictably, all eight of his siblings were surprisingly quiet at the dining table. He clapped his hands together.

  “All right, who wants to help me win back the love of my life,” he announced, and every one of them gave him an enthusiastic cheer.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  December 26

  The café was open promptly on December 26. It was also the first day that Sam was officially sleeping at the farm, and the day Selene was driving back to Manila. Oddly enough, Sari was fine about it all. Selene had insisted on setting up a private chat with just the three of them, with the only rule being that they couldn’t discuss work.

  Help!! There’s a giant spider in the bathroom!!! Was the first message in the group from Sam. Even Kylo is totally terrified!

  Sari was at the store at the earliest possible time, roasting beans for the day. Then she picked up her usual order of fresh milk from Blossom Farms (ignoring the pang that hit her in the chest as she passed Gabriel’s subdivision). Life moved on, and while the Christmas spirit was still going strong in her, there was an unmistakable tug of wistfulness in Sari’s chest.

  She missed him. She missed him in every baked sweet she ate over the holidays, missed him in the scent of butter and sugar in the air. She missed him whenever her neighbors across the street put on “Sinta” on the karaoke machine, which so happened to be once every hour.

  Then her shop opened, and it eased the tension in her chest a little. Life goes on, and change was always going to happen. Sari was behind the counter, whipping up candy cane coffee after candy cane coffee. Her customers were in a celebratory mood, clearly, and she was drinking it all in.

  “Hey, we saw all the billboards for the new mall,” Mrs. Ventura, one of her regulars, said as Sari placed her takeaway coffee on her amiga’s usual table. The Mrs. Vs had been coming to her café ever since she opened, and had been loyal customers of her grandmother before her. Kira liked to joke that she wanted to be just like them when she grew older. “And Sunday Bakery was there in big block letters! Qué horror.”

  “He is a traitor to the Laneways!” Mrs. Vargas declared, thumping her poor table with the heel of her hand. “What a typical man. Handsome in the face, kind eyes, but will rip your heart out from you when you least expect it. And I bought mango cakes from him, too, for my Noche Buena!”

  “What do we do, hija? Start a protest against the mall? Make someone write an article? Find someone in city hall? Do we know his grandmother?”

  “No, no.” Sari shook her head, wiping her hands on her apron and trying not to look her customers in the eye. Her chest felt a little tight, and she rubbed at the spot. “We’re fine, titas. As long as we have customers like you, the Laneways is going to be fine. Gabriel can do whatever he wants. And if you think we’re just going to let the Laneways go down without a fight, then we’d be really bad business owners.”

  Oh. Oddly enough, Sari completely believed that now. Selene’s words had reassured her that things were always going to change, and she was going to have to adapt. Sure it sucked that she was going to have to see Sunday Bakery across from her, but Gabriel really did deserve that kind of success, if that was what he wanted.

  She had everything she needed around her, and knew that the people who truly loved her would be there when she needed them most. Her small life was a happy one, and she would be happy with who came and went.

  The Mrs. Vs were exchanging looks and waggling eyebrows at each other. Sari knew that the titas were silently communicating by the power of their perfectly threaded eyebrows and didn’t really feel like interrupting.

  “Sari?” Mrs. Vargas asked.

  “Hmmm?”

  “Have you ever considered getting a different commissary for your pastries? I love your coffee, hija, but, you know. New Year, new supplier?”

  Sari blinked at Mrs. Vargas. It was the first time she’d ever expressed any sort of dissatisfaction with Sari, and she’d said it so kindly. Sari smiled and refilled her cup of barako.

  “I’ll think about it, Tita V.”

  “Hala, Tita V daw!” Mrs. Vargas laughed, because it was a joke Sari had always used around the Mrs. Vs. “Hay nako, Sari. I know your New Year’s resolution, na. New food supplier, and then a boyfriend! You still have time. You’re young, and beautiful, and there is still a lot of time to diet!”

  Sari sighed deeply and ignored the little burn on her weight. It was pretty hard to think there was anything wrong with her body now. Not when she could lift bags of coffee beans to her lab and after being called a goddess in bed by the baker boy next door.

  “I’ll get your bill, titas,” she said, turning on her heel and walking back behind the counter, where Kira was watching the two old women twitter with laughter and continue people watching.

  “One would think their New Year’s resolution would be to be less catty,” Kira despaired, taking a sip of her coffee. She’d come in as soon as the shop had opened, declaring she needed to escape her family for today. “You okay?”

  “Oh, I’m fine.” Sari shrugged. “Just thinking about what they said.”

  “Sari, you can’t let a couple of titas convince you to change anything about yourself—”

  “No, I was thinking more along the lines of the food,” Sari interrupted her, wiping down the counter after a customer left. “They’re right. It’s ridiculous that I keep serving bad food, and bad pastries when I know where to source really good ones locally. Do you think Santi would ever agree to sell me some of his paninis and pasta?”

  Kira’s immediate reaction was to roll her eyes so exaggeratedly that there was a brief second where Sari thought her irises would completely roll off the top of her head. “First of all, how would I know how Anton Santillan thinks?”

  “Well—”

  “Don’t answer that. Second of all, I am a little offended that you would think that I know how Anton Santillan thinks.”

  “But—”

  “No, don’t answer that either.” Kira dropped her head on the table for one second, and Sari gave her an indulgent smile. When Kira finally realized how she truly felt about Santi, it was going to knock her off her feet in the best way possible.

  Sari should know. She’d fallen in love with the baker boy next door after nine nights.

  “I wouldn’t count on him saying yes right off the bat, but I know Santi respects you, or whatever.” Kira waved her hands in front of her face. “I’m sure if you talk to him, you can come up with a deal for food.”

  “Why do you hate Santi so much?”

  “I don’t hate him,” Kira huffed. “He’s just...such a Virgo, you know?”

  “I have to say, I don’t.”

  “It’s tricky, because Geminis and Virgos are both ruled by Mercury, but are sort of opposite signs...”

  For the rest of the afternoon, Sari spent the day working, talking over her shoulder as Kira hung around for the rest of the day. Kira continued to explain to her why astrologically, a relationship would never work out between her and Santi, and why a relationship between a Libra like, say, Gabriel and a Capricorn like Sari would be difficult, but oh so worth the work.

  “Do you think the Laneways is in trouble?” Sari asked Kira, who frowned and swirled her spoon in her se
cond mocha of the day. She was also nibbling on a piece of 70% dark chocolate that she always seemed to have in her pocket. “With the mall and all?”

  “Well, I consulted with a businessman,” Kira said, and pointedly looked away when Sari’s eyebrow rose so high she was sure it touched the ceiling. “What!”

  “Kira...are you sure you and Santi aren’t actually friends?” Sari asked curiously. “Because you seem to talk about him a lot. We’ve been failing the Bechdel test for our last couple of conversations now.”

  “Hoy bes, no!” Kira looked absolutely incensed, even though Sari could clearly see that her friend was blushing. “I can’t be friends with Santi!”

  “But he’s your consult about this mall thing, isn’t he?”

  Sari continued to tease Kira for a little bit, and Kira was making a really bold attempt at acting like she wasn’t being affected. They talked about the Laneways, their plans to keep things going. They talked about the things they got for Christmas, potential plans for the New Year, and came up with a plan to make a special chocolate and coffee pairing set for Valentine’s Day, even if it was months away.

  By the time Sari was ready to close up that evening, she realized Kira was still there.

  “You stayed,” she said, blinking at her friend.

  “I did.” Kira smiled. “I knew you would drive yourself up the wall thinking about Sam, and the move and whatever is going on between you and Gabriel. So I thought I could help get you out of your own head.”

  “Thanks, Kira.” Sari wrapped her arms around her friend in a tight hug. “You’re the best.”

  “I am,” Kira sighed, and loosened her grip on Sari to look guiltily at her. “But I have to admit... I was under orders.”

  Sari’s brows knitted together in confusion. “Sam asked you to stay?”

  “No...”

  “Selene? I thought you were scared of her.”