by C C Monroe
FBI Anti-Piracy Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.
Advertencia Antipirateria del FBI: La reproducción o distribución no autorizada de una obra protegida por derechos de autor es ilegal. La infracción criminal de los derechos de autor, incluyendo la infracción sin lucro monetario, es investigada por el FBI y es castigable con pena de hasta cinco años en prisión federal y una multa de $250,000.
Always Us
Always and Forever Series, book 2
Copyright © 2016 C.C. Monroe
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from the author.
This story is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.
Edited by Wild Rose Editing
Cover design and interior design by Juliana Cabrera, Jersey Girl & Co Design
To my other half, Lashelle.
Seashell,
Shayla is you.
Trey is for you.
Through every ‘Ultimate Fall.’
May our uteruses work one day ;D
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Acknowledgements
Other Books
About The Author
Trey
“WHERE IS HE, KATHY?” I ask frantically, my chest heaving in panic. I feel like this is a dream—that I will wake up and be free from the pain gripping my chest.
“They had him in surgery, his lung was punctured. Trey, I’m scared,” Kathy says, reaching for me in an attempt to seek comfort. I wrap my arms around her, trying to stay calm, trying to imagine that this is all going to turn right back around. My dad has to make it through this. Kathy sobs into my chest, her fist gripping my shirt, smearing her makeup all over the stark white material. I don’t care though; all I can think of is seeing my dad.
While I’m holding Kathy, I feel like I need something to keep me together, someone to hold me when I feel I’m about to fall over. I feel Shayla’s arms wrap around me from behind, her head lies on my back and I hear her faint whisper, “Trey, I’m so sorry.”
Two of the most important women in my life are clinging to me for solace, while I’m spinning out of control, losing my own footing. It’s crazy how you can be surrounded by all these people that love you and yet still feel so alone…so afraid.
“How long was he in surgery? Was the coma induced or did his body send him into one itself?” I ask, my voice eerily quiet and distant.
“They pulled him out of surgery a few minutes ago. They said he is in a coma all on his own. I don’t know, they don’t have a ton of answers yet,” Kathy responds, stepping out of my arms, wiping away the streaks of mascara from under her eyes. Shayla moves from behind me to stand at my side. She fits her hand in mine, her thumb running soothing circles. As much as her presence is attempting to hold me to the ground, I still feel like I’m floating out of my body.
“Where’s the fucking doctor?” I say, losing my cool. Why the fuck is no one able to tell me what I want to hear? I need to know my dad is going to walk out of this fucking hospital with me. I’m not leaving here without him, damn it!
“Trey, baby, calm down,” Shayla says, putting her hand on my chest, when she comes to stand in-between Kathy and I.
“No, that’s my fucking dad in there. If something happens to him, Shay—” I stop, not able to finish where my thoughts were going. I haven’t looked at her since Kathy came up to me. When my eyes connect with her green ones, I break. Her sympathetic look causes me to shatter, letting my emotions lay bare in front of everyone in this waiting room.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” She opens her arms and I dip my head into the crook of her neck where it meets her shoulder. I let myself cry and do so unashamed. I do this for the next ten minutes, surrounded by my girl, friends, and family.
Come on, Pops.
“Are you the wife of Charles Adams?” The voice next to me causes me to lift my head up from where it was resting in her neck. When I see it’s the doctor speaking, I abruptly move to stand beside Kathy. Shayla and Kings move to stand behind us.
“Yes, I’m his wife, this is our son. Is he okay?” Kathy asks, her eyes glued to the doctor.
“For now he’s stable, but we need to keep a close eye on him. There was damage to his heart as well, causing significant swelling. He’s out of surgery if you’d like to see him.” I nod my head frantically and follow him back; Kathy and Shayla close behind me. Halfway to his room, I stop and turn, seeing Shay a few feet back. Realizing that I forgot about her injuries, which is causing her to struggle with walking. I can’t walk into that room without my girl. She’s the fucking glue keeping me from shattering into a million fucking pieces. Kathy nods at me as she passes, and I hold out my hand for Shayla.
“I need you by my side, baby,” I tell her, because it’s the truth. Her eyes tell me how sad and scared she is, alongside me. Her tiny hand collides with mine, and I wrap my hand tightly around it. Taking a huge breath, I release it quickly. “Fuck, here we go.”
The sounds of steady beeping and air compressions fill the room; the light is off except for the tiny lamp that sits above my dad’s bed. When I see him for the first time, a wave of new emotions take over. I thought I could handle it, but I’m reminded that my dad isn’t okay, not even close. Kathy is on one side, crying while she holds his hand, so I take residence on the other. Placing his hand in mine, my jaw ticks and tightens, holding back the tears as best as I can. His hand is cold and feels almost weightless, the machines around him all lit up.
“Pops, it’s me. Trey. God, Dad.” I hear my voice and it sounds foreign, like it’s coming from someone else. I bring his hand to my lips and kiss it. “Dad, please. Get strong, come back.”
Never in a million years would I have believed I would be here. Here in a moment where my dad would be fighting for his life and I would be on the sidelines, helpless and petrified. When you love someone and you know they’re fighting a lonely battle, you can’t help but hate that you can’t save them. I can’t save my dad. All I can do is pray that he can hear me and that he will fight like hell to come back to me.
“Dad, I need you here, I still need to learn from you, to be taught what I still need to know,” I tell him, laying my head on his shoulder. My arm is stretched across his stomach where I feel Kathy grab hold of my hand. Shayla is standing behind me, her small hand doing its best to bring me comfort. Her silent apologies fill the thick air in the room. I’m still fucking livid with what happened to Shay tonight, that fucker is lucky the cops showed up, or I would have ended him there. I know that she needs to see the doctor, because the bruises on her neck are becoming more prominent.
I untangle myself from my dad for a moment and turn to face Shay. I open my legs and pull her to fit in the spot between. Reaching my hands up, I m
ove her hair and lightly run my hand over the marks that fucker left behind. It renews my anger, but I stay silent and take a second to remember where we are and all the shit going on around us, I don’t need to add to it.
Her soft fingers come up and mimic my movements—touching and caressing my upper body. It’s like we are both checking to see if this is a dream. She lets a tear fall and that’s when it hits me that this is reality. I see in her eyes that this isn’t just about what happened to her, but she is just as scared and torn up about Pops as I am.
“I’m sorry, Trey,” she tells me, leaning over slightly to kiss my forehead. I squeeze me eyes shut and grab her hips, grasping them tightly.
“Thank you for being here. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t,” I tell her, nestling my head into her stomach.
“I will always be here. I’ll never leave you or let you fall alone,” she says, running the tips of her nails through my hair. I open my mouth to respond when the sweet nurse enters the room, she makes eye contact with me, and in them I see sorrow. She probably sees things like this all the time, yet she feels sympathy for me.
“Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, but the doctor needs to see you now, ma’am.” Her formal greeting to Shayla has my heart rate spiking. I don’t want her to leave my side, I want her here with me, but at the same time, I have the natural instinct to want to follow her and make sure my woman is okay. I don’t want her in there alone.
“Okay, thank you. I’ll be right out.” She turns her head back to me and gives me a tiny smile that doesn’t reach her eyes; I mean how could it when all this chaos is going on around us. She leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips.
“I’ll take Kingston with me. I won’t be alone.”
I didn’t say anything to her, but she read my mind. I watch her turn to leave and continue to watch her until she’s no longer in my line of vision. Turning back I glance at Kathy, her head is lying on the bed next to his, her hand wrapped tightly around his limp one.
I can’t imagine what she’s going through. Fuck, I thought Shayla lying in the hospital bed in Park City was a scary thing, but if this had been the circumstance then and I had to helplessly sit by and watch the woman I love lie in this bed, I wouldn’t even be able to stay still.
“Do you know what happened? Did the police tell you anything?” I ask, my eyes not leaving my father’s face.
“Yeah, they said he must have fallen asleep at the wheel, because he swerved into oncoming traffic and flew off the side of the highway when another car clipped him. The car—” She stops and I hear the emotion grow thick in her voice. I reach over, grabbing her hand.
“You don’t have to tell me until you’re ready,” I reassure her, but I’m doing it for me too, maybe I’m the one who’s not ready to hear what happened in that car.
She doesn’t even respond, she just goes back to resting her head on his shoulder.
“Pops?” I whisper, my hand clasped tightly around my dad’s, where my chin is resting. I have this notion in me that I need to say what I’m feeling, tell him all the things I feel he should know, like I will never get the chance again. I really fucking hope that isn’t the case.
“Pops, if you can hear me, I need to tell you something. I need you to know what I need you here for.” I swallow past the hard lump in my throat.
“You know how you told me to marry my girl. Well, Dad, I want to, not really want, actually, it’s more like a burning need deep within me. Like I can’t live without having her as my wife. Her being my wife is a need, an everyday thing I have to have, it’s like breathing. If I didn’t have it, I would suffocate.” I take a deep breath; closing my eyes, I form a clear picture of Shayla in my head. She’s so fucking beautiful it’s almost hard to believe that God created a woman so perfect and was foolish enough to give her to me.
“I bought her a ring, but you see, I need you there, Dad, I need you to tell me how to love her the right way, because I feel my way isn’t good enough. I know you tell me it is, but I want to be deserving enough to have her. I can’t picture a wedding without you. I was going to ask her tonight.” God, it’s been the most insane ride with her these past thirteen years, but I wouldn’t change all the ups and downs we faced together for anything.
“Don’t you want to be there, Dad, when I marry her? Then one day, if I’m lucky, she will give me beautiful children, fucking perfect children that are just like her. Wise, sweet, kind, humbled, fucking works of art, and all of them will be mine to protect, my heart will be completely full. Except for the part where you might not be there. Damn it, Dad, I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done that you may have not been proud of. You’ve been my best friend since the day I could build memories; we’ve been through hell and back. I love you, Pops. If this is the last moment I get to tell you things, this is my promise to you.” I pause my rambling momentarily to squeeze his hand and wipe away the errant tears from my face. I know I’m rambling, but it feels like time is sitting on my fucking shoulder and the alarm is approaching, telling me to hurry. This feels abnormal, very dooming—out of this world.
“I promise to always be the best version of me. I’ll never stop trying to be the perfect man for the perfect woman. I promise to tell my sons about you and show my daughters all the ways you could have loved them like a grandpa. I’ll wake Shayla up every morning and tell her first thing that I love her, just like you did with Kathy.” I hear Kathy quietly sniffling, and when our eyes meet, her lips tremble with a small smile. There is a chance my dad can wake from this nightmare, so what I’m saying may be pointless, but something inside me tells me he won’t.
“Dad, I’ll take care of Mom; Kathy will never go a day without me. But most of all, you will live in my memory, every damn day, and I’ll honor you in all things I set out to do. I love you so much, Dad.” Standing up, I lean over and place my lips to his forehead. I keep them there and squeeze my eyes shut, a tear landing on him. I hold his hand tightly, giving him all the strength that I possibly can.
The monitor next to us makes a new sound that I haven’t heard since I walked in here. I stand straight and look at Kathy. She lets out a loud cry as the doctors come running in. The air shifts and my once hopeful thoughts of him walking out of here with me, shatter. Shaking me to my core and seizing my heart in my chest, like a fucking heart attack.
“Sir, ma’am, he is going into cardiac arrest, we need you to wait in the lobby.” My heart stops, literally stops beating. My feet stumble over each other and the room goes silent. I’m being pushed and rushed out, but I don’t feel anyone touching me, don’t hear the sound of voices or machines. The people around me a blur of commotion. Making our way down the long, narrow hall filled with nurses and patient rooms, the heavy florescent lights above me pass quickly. Just like a scene out of a movie.
WITHIN THIRTY MINUTES, SIX LITTLE words changed me forever, left me broken and with a piece of my heart that will never heal.
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t save him.” Those six words that the doctor probably says ten times a day to people like me. A mantra well rehearsed, but an effect that you can never prepare for. Six words that told me I lost my father forever.
“You didn’t try hard enough! Go try again! He’s still in there, damn it!” I yell, grabbing a chair and throwing it, the scene catching the attention from everyone in the waiting room. My rage even terrifies me, coming from deep within.
“Sir. Please calm down, we tried to resuscitate more than the allotted amount,” the doctor says with only slight emotion. His lack of sensitivity gutting me, as if he didn’t just tell me that I lost my best friend, my father.
“Allotted amount! That’s my fucking father, I don’t give a shit about your allotted amount, try it again!” A few security guards come through the door. The doctor holds up his hand, warding them to stay put. That’s what I thought.
“Sir. I’m very sorry for your loss, but we couldn’t revive him.” My chest is rising and falling at a rapid rate, I can he
ar Kathy behind me, crying. I turn and pull her in my arms, ignoring the doctor.
“We can try again, okay. Let me talk to them,” I whisper in Kathy’s ear, but still loud enough for the doctor to hear me. I look over my shoulder and catch him shaking his head, before adjusting the glasses comfortably on the bridge of his nose.
“Sir, we don’t want to have to ask you to leave, but we will if you don’t calm down. I wish we could have saved him, but his heart wasn’t strong enough.”
Letting go of Kathy, I turn back to him, about to give him the worst verbal beatdown, when I hear Shayla’s soft voice.
“Trey?” I look past the doctor and see her standing with her hands nervously picking at each other, her eyes watering, and her head shaking in denial. I lose it; I fucking lose all that I have left in me.
“Baby!” I say, falling to my knees with a broken voice. The pain of my knees hitting the ground minuscule to the pain rip-roaring through me. The universe could suck me into a black hole and it still wouldn’t be as dark and alone as I feel.
She rushes to me and engulfs me in her small but strong arms. I sob harder than any man ever has, letting go of the fight, letting go of everything I’m holding in. The doctor’s right, as much as it pains me, they’re fucking right.
“Trey…” Her soft sobs match mine, weak and helpless, as we stay in this moment. I feel defeated. She cries above me, her tears rushing down her cheeks and crashing onto my arms.
“He’s gone. My dad is fucking gone.” I become numb after I say those words, acceptance being the root of all evil. Never will I be the same. Today, a part of my heart died in that room. A part of my soul left this earth.
“Trey…baby…I’m sorry. I wish I could make this better. But all I can say is he will always be here, in your heart,” she says on another cry. I’m not sure if she is trying to convince me of this or herself.
Either way, I wish she could, too. I wish that I could find hope in her words, but right now, all hope is lost and I’m numb inside.