by C C Monroe
“I wish you would’ve waited until marriage, but that’s a trivial mother’s dream in this day and age. Besides, you get married next week, so technically it doesn’t matter! Oh, baby!” Grabbing my face between her hands, she plants a kiss on my cheek. “You’re going to be a daddy, your father would be over the moon right now.” I look back to his headstone, bringing me back to the reason we’re here.
“I know, I can feel his pride all the way back down here.” I look up to the sky and smile; my heart feels so much lighter than before. There’s a calm that comes with healing a loss. The comfort in knowing that it’ll always be present in your mind, the loss, but the hurt may subside and you can find beauty in their memory.
“I guess we need to get back to Shayla, I need to tell that girl congratulations on mommy hood, it’s the best feeling in the world! I love being your mom.”
“I love being your son.” I stand, helping her up. Today we shared a great evening as a family. How blessed am I?
“Hey, take the keys and start the car, I’ll be just a second.” She takes my hint, giving me a minute alone with Pops.
“Sure, baby, take your time.” Leaving me, I wait until she’s out of earshot and turn my focus back on Pops. I kiss my hand and place it on the headstone.
“Pops, I’m sorry you weren’t here to see me move on, see me do all the things a father should see his son do. But I’m happy. Shayla has made me whole, Dad, I’m healing. Please know that.” I close my eyes and try to soak in all the things around me. The sounds, the smell, the feelings so I never forget this.
“I get married next week, Dad, and I’ll have you right here in my heart.” I hit my chest lightly with my closed fist, and with one last look, I leave. Carrying a part of my father with me. I’m ready to marry Shayla, start a family, and follow through on the promises I made Pops.
Shayla
MY BODY IS ACHING FROM yesterday’s attack, the one I’m trying desperately not to think about. I don’t want to wallow in it any longer.
Trey thought I was okay, until I became a blubbering mess in the shower. I was doing so good, but the bruises on my body, marring my skin, hit me like a ton of bricks. The reality of what happened yesterday flooding back in.
I almost stayed at the house today, wanting to avoid seeing anyone. But Trey helped pull me back together, thankfully.
“You nervous to tell your dad?” Lana sounds off from the backseat.
She is seated in the middle, her question pointed to me. I feel her eyes on me while Kingston stays quiet in the driver’s seat, controlling the wheel effortlessly. This is the first time I’ve seen him drive Trey’s truck. We all came in one car, so they took Pops’s truck to see him today. I hope he’s okay seeing his dad today.
“Yes, he isn’t going to take lightly to this, I mean he didn’t.” I thrust my thumb up and toward Kingston, keeping my eyes on the road.
“Hey, I’m sorry, you know that. I was just…scared, I wanted this to be something you’re ready for. But just because I’m not ready for a family doesn’t mean you’re on the same wavelength.” I cringe inwardly for Lana; I teeter on the edge of agreeing with her for not telling him about the pregnancy and how her hiding it is wrong. I wouldn’t know what to do in her shoes.
“I know. I also know Dad will say a lot of what you already did and honestly, I don’t know if I can take another fight like the one we had.” I peer up at him, tugging down the sleeves of my sweater, covering my bruises.
“That’s why you have me. If Dad gets out of hand, I’ll calm him down, I ain’t about to expose you to any more shit.” Reaching over, he squeezes my knee and I share a faint smile, still nervous.
“So are you going to be the best big brother ever?” I pause, leaning on the middle console, putting my head on my curled fist, changing the hostile mood to a lighter one. I bat my lashes. “And tell Mom so I won’t have to.”
He scoffs. “You bet your ass I can, but I would rather we wait until the day you pop and be like surprise! It’s not like you’re gonna see her in the next year.” He has a point, I saw her once this year and that was to dress shop. That’s it. My mom doesn’t come around and after the wedding—which she’s not happy about at all—I probably won’t see her for another year. It’s not a bad idea.
“Can we tell her after the wedding? Please,” I ask again, even though I know Kingston will be the one to tell her, I don’t care to speak to my mother, especially about this.
“Yes, we can wait. And leave it up to me to tell her, okay?” I nod, leaning back into my seat.
“You’re so sweet, Kingston,” Lana says honestly. I peek and see him look at her in the rearview mirror. I watch him wink and blow her a kiss. She giggles, one day at a time she is going to give in. My brother is going to be happy and my best friend will finally be free to love again.
“I have to tell you guys something before we go in there.” I smirk, knowing my secret, my beautiful surprise.
“Yeah?” they say in unison, Lana sitting up and leaning forward.
“We’re having twins…” I don’t ease into it, too excited to share my news.
“Twins! No fucking shit!” Kingston hollers. Slamming his fist down on the steering wheel with a full, throaty laugh. It’s contagious and I smile, Lana laughs along with him.
“Dang, I knew Trey having a big dick could do just the trick to fix your broken vagina.”
“Baby!” Kingston stops laughing, warning Lana.
“What! It’s the truth, that man fixed her uterus! He should be studied, they should use him for cures!” She laughs and I cover my mouth, laughing into my hand. Okay, that was hilarious. Watching her make my brother cringe is one of my top favorite things.
“That’s our best friend and she’s my fucking sister…and how do you know he has a big dick?” he challenges, staring her down in the rearview mirror. I stay silent and just laugh, tears rolling down my cheeks, small snorts coming with each breath in.
“I mean maybe I saw it…” I see his face go stone-cold and his fist tightens around the steering wheel. I know dang good and well she better take that back and thank the gods above she does. “Or your slutty McGee sister told me.” He visibly relaxes.
“You’re gonna get it so damn good tonight, you smart-ass,” he says over his shoulder shaking his head.
“I’m not a slut by the way,” I defend myself, wiping away the tears, taking heavy breaths to regain myself, that was hilarious. I love these two for taking off the edge before I tell my dad, this moment was almost perfect—Trey being here would have been the icing on the cake.
“Yes, you are, we both are,” she jokes.
“No, you aren’t, baby.” Kingston says to her. The air shifts and all humor is gone. “Don’t say that about yourself, you’re my innocent angel.”
Swoon city, my brother can be so smug sometimes, but then this side comes out, his strong, dominating, protective side, rearing its beautiful head. Saying things that would have women melting to puddles all over the world.
“I know, Kings,” she says, gripping his shoulder. He takes it and brings it to his lips, kissing it. I watch him do it then glance back at Lana, she just smirks and winks at me. She let Kingston have that one, no fight, no argument. She is learning.
“TWINS?” DAD ASKS ME, AND I nod, nervously biting on my lip. “Oh, Shayla, baby, you’re so young. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I’m surprised he hasn’t yelled or leaped out of his chair, his reaction much more tame than what I was expecting.
Though he’s being cautious, this whole thing about me being ‘sure’ is actually starting to hurt. “Please understand something, all of you.” I gesture to Kingston, as well as my dad. “A few months ago, I lay alone in a hospital room digesting the news that my chances of conceiving were slim to none. Coming to face the reality on my own that I may never be able to have a family. That crushed my soul, but then like a spark of hope, Trey and I were able to get pregnant. So yes, I may be young and we may be in way over
our heads, but I won’t feel guilty over our babies, this is a miracle.” I’m looking down at my stomach by the time I finish, watching my thin, manicured hand run over the barely there bloat. Looking up, I’m met by three very intense stares, all watery eyed and wide.
“What?” I break the silence.
“Fuck, that was beautiful,” my dad speaks, coming to sit next to me on the couch.
“I’m so sorry you felt alone and scared, princess. But you’re so right, you just put that into perspective.” He kisses my head and I close my eyes, accepting his approval. Feeling way better about breaking the news this time than with my brother.
“Where is Trey?” Dad asks.
“He went to see Pops with Kathy, he wanted to tell them together.”
“Well, that’s sweet, I had lunch with Kathy the other day, after we ran into each other, and she seems to be doing better.” We all look at him sideways, that’s random.
“You went to lunch with Kathy?” Kingston says from his place by the mantel.
“Oh shut it, she’s a nice lady, don’t make it fucking weird,” my dad retorts, brushing him off. Kings and I share a look. They never really interacted much, so lunch seems like it would be awkward, but we digress.
“Now, tell me about what the doctor said, is everything okay with the attack, are you guys pressing charges?” my dad asks, his jaw ticking.
“Yes, we are, and everything is fine.” I have talked last night over in circles, to the point that my ears are going to start bleeding if I have to hear myself tell it one more time.
“All right, but, princess, if that stuff starts to mess with you, or you start to have any traumatic stress from it, talk about it. It’s been a rough year for you, don’t bottle it all up.”
“Thanks, Dad. Now, can we talk all things wedding? I need help with some stuff.” All hands on deck, Lana, Kingston, and my dad help me get the venue and the ordained preacher set up. The wedding will be on the beach, with just our small group of friends and family. The reception will be held at Trey’s Dad’s beach house. I wish we had stayed there when we visited last time, but Trey wasn’t ready to be that close to the potent memories, and I can respect that.
I have a couple tricks up my sleeve for Trey, one that he has no idea about. When Kathy and I were cleaning out some things, she gave me some videos that Pops made throughout the years. Videos for Trey, one for every special occasion in his life. I was a bit taken aback when Kathy shared them with me, not sure why he made them in the first place. She explained that Pops lived with constant fear that he would one day pass too soon and Trey would then have to mourn the loss of two parents, in a sense. So, alas, he made these videos, ones I haven’t watched yet but had Kathy take to get burned and edited onto a disk for the wedding. I’m going to play him his father’s words on our special day.
Hesitant at first, I almost didn’t want to do it, unsure of how Trey would react, but I’ve seen him changing, seen him healing, especially when he told me he didn’t feel as sad about his mother leaving the second time as he did the first. Then when he told me today he was going to see Pops for the first time, I knew he was ready.
Trey Joseph Adams was a ghost of a man, living in the shadows of his past and using it as a shield to really love not only others, but mostly himself. Now just a short year later, we stand united, forgiving the past and forgetting the damage it once caused. We are healing as one, and never have I been more ready to walk down the aisle and make a promise in front of man and God to love Trey in all things, in all forms, in all hardships and victories, as one—for always.
“LET’S SEE, SISSY.” I SPIN in my mermaid style dress, which fits snug to my body and shows off my tiniest little bump. Honestly I just look bloated, but with twins and a naturally small physique, the babies are showing faster than most.
I turn to face my brother in the doorway of the upstairs bedroom. I love Pops’s house, well now Trey’s house, shoot our house in less than an hour. I’m marrying the love of my life today. The weekend rushed by in a hurried blur and now we are moments away from saying I do.
“Does it look okay?” I question nervously. Lana’s searching for my shoes in the guest bedroom where she and Kingston are staying.
“Oh, Shayla. Fuck. You look like a fucking angel.” His words make me feel like the little girl I once was, standing on his toes and dancing in my mother’s dress. One of my favorite memories by far with my brother.
“Really, so I don’t look like a total chunky?” I point to my belly and he shakes his head, moving toward me. The way he’s smiling—admiring me, I feel the swarm of tears brewing, the ones where I sob uncontrollably. I don’t want to ruin my makeup, so I try to push them down, but I see that he’s struggling to rein in his, making my attempt moot.
Let me tell you something—Kingston Donovan does not cry. I’ve seen it three times. All of which involved Lana. Seeing him like this over me makes me feel completely overwhelmed.
“Don’t cry. I can’t handle any more emotions for the day.” Kingston leans down and kisses my belly.
“Grow strong in there, little ones.”
Chuckling at his little baby voice, I squeeze his shoulder. He starts talking about them being little boys, convinced that our family needs more testosterone, to make more good quality caveman. My God. He has no idea about Lana and I feel terrible, only more guilty as he talks to my children. I need her to tell him.
“And to answer you—no, you don’t look fat, I think this tiny, barely there bump makes you more radiant.” He distracts my thoughts, leaving his caveman talk behind.
“Thanks, big guy,” I reply, kissing his cheek.
“Am I interrupting?” Lana’s delicate voice sounds from the door.
“No, baby, come in.” Kingston watches her closely as she saunters in, in her wine-red empire waist, strapless dress.
“You look fucking stunning, woman.”
“It’s Lana, I have a name, King Kong.” We all laugh, Kings looks offended for a split second.
“That’s what you call my ten-inch cock, so I’m not complaining.”
There it is.
She punches his arm, and I slap the back of his head. Can he not keep his mouth clean for a hot second?
“You leave us be, so I can fix our bride’s makeup, the ceremony starts in fifteen minutes. We’ll be out soon.” She rushes him out of the room then locks the door. Kingston trying the whole time to grab her ass and steal a kiss—which he fails.
“I saw Trey in the hall earlier, he looked guilty so I think he was trying to get in here,” she says, coming back to me. I don’t doubt he wasn’t.
“Probably. Now fix me up something pretty. Oh, and, L.”
Grabbing the foundation, she turns to me. “Hmm?”
“Tell him or I will.” She huffs and I close my eyes, letting her work on my face. I made my point, and she knows I won’t hesitate to tell him.
“Shayla.” Lana ends our quiet standoff.
“Yeah?”
“I’m so happy for you. I never knew that just a year ago, when we sat in that kitchen bullshitting each other about you not having lady balls, that we would be here now. But we are, and I want you to know that I’ll always be here, through every…”
“Ultimate fall.” I finish along with her, saying it in unison. She brings her forehead to mine and we giggle.
“We were soul mates first, remember that,” she reminds me, and I nod.
“I could never forget.”
Trey
“DUDE, I JUST SAW MY sister and damn, she looks fucking incredible. You, bastard, don’t deserve something that amazing.”
“You’re right, but your sister hasn’t caught onto that yet, meaning today, when I marry her, she’ll be forced to stay with me.” I adjust the final knot on my wine-red tie and button my tux jacket, looking myself over one more time before we make our way out to the beach. Today, I’ll be marrying my little woman on Coronado Island in San Diego at sunset.
I love my w
oman at sunset. What the hell am I saying? I love her at sunrise, when her little eyes open and she yawns, her hair a mess around her. I love her at sunset, when she takes off the mask and shows me her natural self, her real self. I love her in the dark of the night, when she writhes under me while I make love to her, endlessly. I love her in all her forms, at all hours and times of the day.
“You whipped motherfucker, quit daydreaming and pay attention.” He pulls me from my wayward thoughts and I throw him a smirk.
“Anyway, usually brothers give the douche that’s marrying their sister a warning on their wedding day. But due to the fact I already gave you that talk, I just wanted to tell you—” Kingston stops, taking a second to rein himself in.
“I wanted to tell you that I couldn’t have handpicked a better man and created him my-fucking-self, for my sister. You’ve been my brother for forever, that I couldn’t imagine a life where you didn’t eventually, literally, become my brother.”
The smug bastard isn’t crying but his emotion is apparent, he feels these words, just as much as I do. A true bro moment, if you will.
“Fuck, anyway, listen, I’m just glad that I finally get to call you my brother for real now. But that doesn’t change my original threat, you break her heart and I will break your fucking face.”
“I know, me too, buddy. You’re the greatest guy I know; you’re my fucking brother. Love ya, man.” We share a typical man hug, fist-filled and half hugs followed by a slap on the back.
“You ready to go get married, dude?”
“Yeah, I am.” We leave the room and walk down the stairs.
“I envy you, you know that?” Hitting the last step, I look over at him with raised brows.
“Of what? I know I look better in a tux, but give yourself some credit, big guy.”
“Not that, fucker.” I rub out the pain from his punch, my sides splitting with laughter. Fuck, I love pissing him off.
“I meant I’m jealous that you get to start a family, get married, buy a home with the woman you love. It was like pulling teeth to get L to promise an extra three nights here with me.”