Slowly, carefully, she pulled my pendant off and held it out. “I’m not asking you to trust me. You don’t have to trust any of this.” She gave me a short, pleading look, then bowed her head as if she were offering me that as well.
“Take my mind, and I’ll show you.”
39
Family
“You’re absolutely certain she’s not lying about any facet of this entire story?” Glenbark asked, watching me dubiously from my palmlight display.
I nodded. “Positive. It’s not possible to directly lie to a telepath once they’re inside your head.”
Stepping into Siren’s mind wasn’t something I’d been happy about—no more than Four or Siren herself had been. But it had been necessary, the only way to know beyond doubt that she was telling the truth.
“And you’re sure that’s a universal law among your kind?”
“It’s why I know she’s planning to stow aboard if we don’t allow her to come on whatever rescue mission we put together.”
“You realize that’s not exactly comforting.”
“Elise is in that facility, sir. The only question is how we’re gonna get her out.”
“If we wait until after Oasis—”
“I can’t do that.” I shook my head. “I need to move on this. Now.”
“You need a few hours’ sleep to clear your head before—
“My head is clear. It’s never been so clear about anything. Elise is all that matters.”
On the other end of the call, Glenbark studied me, unstirred by my declaration. “Interrupt me again, and I might just have the 51st Boars come in and pelt you with stunners until one of them gets through.”
“If you think that would work.”
She let out a sigh and rubbed at her temples. “We’re all tired here, Haldin. And you’ve done the Legion an incalculably valuable service. Get some rest and give us one more day. Allow us to repay you when we have the resources to do so.”
I shook my head. “It has to be today, sir.”
“And if I were to tell you that I want you at Oasis in case something goes wrong with the cloaks?”
“I’d tell you that I only ever wanted to help. Once Elise is safe.”
“I see.”
“Perhaps the Seekers could go in my place, sir.”
“With the exception of Siren, who will be busy sneaking aboard your rescue mission?”
“I might be able to build a Seeker-proof prison cell for her with the cloaking runes. Except…”
“You think she might be a valuable asset.”
I grimaced. “I don’t like it, but she’d do just about anything to find Smirks. Garrett, I mean.”
Anything like stun me in the back, steal my cloaking pendant, and let Elise get captured in the hopes that it would lead her to the high-priority prisoners, as I’d found during my brief dip in Siren’s mind.
“That’s precisely why I don’t like it either,” Glenbark said. “Not that I prefer the idea of you facing down that Frosty monstrosity alone.”
“Maybe Siren and I could extract Elise without a fight.”
“I think I like that idea even less.” She drew her lips tight, considering something, then fixed me with a serious look. “I want you to wait a day and come to Oasis with us, Haldin.”
I dropped her gaze, shaking my head in apology. “I could speak with Four and Eight for you,” I offered instead.
“I don’t think that will be necessary, thank you.”
She didn’t make any effort to hide her disappointment, but nor did she appear particularly angry or upset. I’m not sure if it was personal courtesy or professional wisdom that kept her from putting the matter to a direct order. Whatever it was, she seemed to understand that we’d reached the breaking point, and that we could either peacefully attempt to maximize both our chances of success, or violently split ways and limp into our separate battles on bad footing.
“The two of them should be able to handle more together than I could alone anyway,” I added when the silence had stretched to an awkward length.
Glenbark returned from some thought with the faintest frown. “I’m not entirely sure either of us believes that.”
She went silent again, thinking, and I resisted the urge to start begging. I was going after Elise either way—I’d already decided that much. The only question was whether I was going to be doing it with appreciable backup, and on the friendly side of the law.
The one thing that gave me hope on the latter point—aside from the lack of direct orders—was that Glenbark hadn’t once yet mentioned the fact that I was technically still on house arrest, even if she had nixed Auckus’ brig detainment order. Backup, on the other hand, would be immeasurably helpful either way. Especially since I, too, didn’t love the idea of sneaking into a super-powered raknoth den with no one but a treacherous assassin watching my back.
On the other side of the call, Glenbark stirred. “I’m sorry, Haldin, but I don’t have the resources or the political slack right now to sanction an official mission based solely on the hear-say of one rogue Sanctum operative who, by the records, barely even exists.”
I stared at her, unbelieving, reeling with sudden betrayal—until I took in her continued thoughtful expression and realized she’d used the word, official.
“It’ll have to be volunteer only,” she added, the frown on her brow deepening. “And I’d prefer it be quiet. Or for it to at least look as if it were the first of our clandestine decommissioning operations.”
Relief was flooding my chest. “I don’t mind wrecking Frosty’s facility, if that’s what you’re saying.”
“All I’m saying is that, pending location confirmation from Citizen Fields, you have my permission to take a volunteer, off-duty force to reconnoiter the area in an unofficial capacity.”
I almost could’ve grinned, but surprisingly, it wasn’t all that hard to maintain a straight face right just then. “Understood, sir.”
“In the meanwhile, I’ll inform Ordo Baird that you are to have free reign of Haven, with armed escort, of course. I believe the 51st Hounds are on backup reserve after the losses they sustained this past cycle,” she added. “Same for the 122nd Wolves after last night.”
That sent the first flutter of hesitation through my gut. “You want me to ask companies that are half dead because of me to follow me into enemy territory?”
Her brow arched ever-so-slightly. “Would you prefer I ask them for you?”
I shook my head. “No, sir.”
If I was going to ask them to lay their lives on the line for me again, or even just for Elise, I might as well do it right and ask them myself.
She gave a curt but approving nod. “Then good luck, Citizen Raish, and let me know if anything changes.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Thank you for your service, Haldin. I know it hasn’t been easy.” She paused. “Your father would’ve been proud.”
I swallowed against a suddenly tight throat, unsure what to say.
“Get some sleep,” Glenbark added. “For Elise if nothing else.”
And with that, she ended the call. I let out a long, steadying breath, feeling for the first time since they’d carried Elise away like the world might not actually be falling apart at the seams just yet.
It was cracked, certainly, and not far off from crumbling. But I knew where Elise was. And the Legion was finally poised to strike back at the raknoth in a major way.
We were going to do this.
But first, I needed to recruit some help.
“I’m in,” Johnny said as I stepped out of the bedroom, closing down my palmlight.
“You don’t even know the plan yet.”
“Storm the creepy enemy encampment, get the girl, quite possibly spring the trap, and fight our way out in a blaze of glory?”
I frowned, hoping only a quarter of his assessment would actually come true.
“I’m in,” Johnny repeated. “I already told you, broto. Guns-a-blaz
ing and all that.”
“I’m not sure Glenbark would appreciate me commandeering her servitor for—”
He held up his palmlight and showed me an order, signed by Freya Glenbark, for one day’s personal leave.
“Let’s get her back, buddy.”
I clapped him on the shoulder, not trusting myself to find the words of gratitude for my friend in that moment, and went to tell Ordo Baird of the 51st Boars that I needed to go see Dillard.
While they prepared to move, I made a quick call to Franco, who, having taken a plummeting hybrid to the leg outside the lab, was crutch-bound and bitterly resigned himself to assessing Siren’s intel and running support. Phineas, though stable now, was going to be in the medica for at least half a cycle, and James wasn’t much better off.
When I was done, Johnny offered to go talk to Dillard himself while I got some rest, but I refused to ask Dillard by proxy to put more of his men at risk. Judging by the look on the ordo’s face when we’d finished filling him in, it was a good call.
“I don’t like it,” Dillard said, leaning back and crossing his arms at us over the kitchen table in his private Hound barracks quarters. “You’ve got next to no real plan, your one and only intel source has tried to kill you twice in the past half-cycle, and now you tell me she wants to tag along—probably so she can take crack number three.”
“I mean, she only used a stun rod the second time,” Johnny pointed out, as if that fundamentally changed the entire situation.
Dillard was less than amused. “Telepathic truth serum or not, I don’t like it.”
“I understand your hesitation,” I cut in before Johnny could say any more. “And I truly apologize for even having to ask you for this, but I don’t have any other choices here. I can’t let them hurt Elise because of me. And if that means walking into a potential trap, the only option I see here is to try and make sure we’re ready to beat that trap. Maybe we get lucky and take down a raknoth and a hybrid facility while we’re at it. But I can’t do it alone.”
Dillard studied me, his frown deepening. “How long has it been since you last slept, Raish?”
“Eh,” Johnny said, waving a hand at me. “He’s just been sitting around all night, really. I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.”
I took in Johnny’s ragged appearance—his eyes sunken and captivatingly blood-shot, his jawline scruffy with amber stubble—and realized I probably looked even worse than he did.
“It doesn’t matter. Not until Elise is safe.”
“It matters if you expect any one of my people to follow you and your ginger mascot straight down into demons’ depths,” Dillard said, a sudden bite in his tone.
Johnny, thank merciful Alpha, was smart enough to not quip back. I waited at Dillard’s mercy until the ordo let out a breath that was half-growl, half-sigh and thrust a finger at me.
“You stick to the orders this time. No wild flights of fancy. You let me do my job and keep us alive.”
I bit down on my immediate urge to emphatically bob my head and cry, Yes, Alpha yes! I was asking Dillard to risk everything for me. He deserved complete sincerity.
“Can you trust me when I tell you what I can do to help?” I asked.
He might’ve narrowed his eyes a sliver, but after a moment’s consideration, he nodded.
“Then I stick to the orders,” I said. “I trust you and your Hounds.”
“All right, then.” He glanced at his palmlight. “Get some damn sleep, Raish. You too, Wingard. I’ll talk to my people, but we’re not going anywhere with you until you’ve had a solid three hours.” He considered the palmlight again. “Five would be doable.”
“Thank you, Dillard.”
He held up a hand to stop me. “No thanks yet. It’s volunteers only, like the High General said.” He cocked his head. “That said, I doubt there’s a single Hound in the 51st who won’t be ready to step up after what you did back at that canyon. Crazy bastards. Might even be able to round out to a full company if I call in a few favors.”
“I was going to talk with the 122nd Wolves next,” I said. “They were with me last night when…”
“I know,” Dillard said. “Their ordo prime was a friend of mine. Saw her name in the casualty reports.” He shook his head, lost in some memory. “Told her you were a royal pain in the ass just a couple days ago when she found out they were rotating onto house arrest duty.”
“She told me.” I stared at the table, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, sir.”
For a long time, he said nothing.
Finally, he pushed his chair back and stood. “Go get yourself together. I’ll talk to the Wolves and anyone else I think of.”
“Sir, if I’m gonna ask these people to risk their lives, I’d—”
He silenced me with a raised hand and a serious look.
“You made the right call, Raish, coming here to ask me yourself instead of hiding behind the general. But I’m not the High General. No one outside my own Hounds is gonna give half a damn about impressing me. There’s no shame in letting me do this part, and I’ll be damned if I can’t tell them better than you can why they should be willing to risk their necks for you and the goodlady anyway.”
Part of me wanted to ask him what he’d tell those legionnaires when they asked, but I was almost embarrassed by the conviction in his voice—thinking at first that it was on my behalf. But that wasn’t it, I realized. It was the pain of the legionnaires we’d lost that I heard in his voice, and the smoldering belief that those sacrifices had meant something more than a few dead hybrids or a few civilian lives saved.
I paused from sliding my chair back under the table. “Sir, I never got the chance to ask… Mara…”
His face darkened to a new low, the pain evident in his eyes. “She’s in bad shape. Might be out of commission for good with the amount of damage that Alpha-damned monster did to her leg and hip.”
“All the more reason to hand Frosty her own ass on a platter,” Johnny said, without a trace of his normal humor.
I left Dillard’s with a gutful of sickening guilt, memories of Mara’s tortured scream playing through my head on a loop. She’d been right all along, telling Edwards to keep away from me. Just one more life ruined because of me.
Maybe I really was cursed.
Either way, I didn’t see what I could do about it other than make damn sure Frosty paid for all of this. With that goal held firmly in mind, I finally relented to return to my quarters and get some of this rest everyone kept insisting. When we passed by the medica, though, my guilty conscience got the best of me.
It wasn’t going to change anything. I knew that.
But before I slept, I needed to at least atone for one small part of this scudstorm.
Dillard hadn’t been lying. That much was abundantly clear.
Through the single polymer pane of the medica room door, Mara looked too thin and frail lying in her bed, her skin drawn, her leg and hip stabilized by so much external hardware that I could barely make out half of her body. Edwards sat motionless at her bedside, his giant shoulders slouched in defeat, her free hand engulfed in both of his.
I’d been lingering outside her room for a few minutes now, intermittently peering in at them, trying to work up the courage to knock and go in and say… Alpha, what was I going to say? What could I possibly say that would mean a damn thing to the adamantus-willed specter who might never walk again because of me?
There was nothing I could say, I realized. Even the idea of apologizing felt cheap somehow. I was starting to think it’d been a mistake, coming here at all, when I noticed someone approaching me from behind in my extended senses.
“He hasn’t left her side since they brought her in yesterday,” came Melanie’s voice.
“He’s a good guy,” I murmured, not really sure what else to say. “They’re both good. Good soldiers. Good people. The best.”
When I finally glanced at her, she was watching me with that concerned caring look. “Are
you doing okay?
“Not really.”
She nodded, not surprised and not judging. “Do you want to talk?” She glanced at Mara’s room. “Or are you going in?”
I swallowed. “I’m… not sure I should anymore.”
She gave me an exasperated look. “Haldin. They’ve both been asking about you since they heard about… about Elise. I’m sorry, by the way. About last night.” She took my left wrist in her hands and brought the splint up for her inspection. “About everything.”
I’d nearly forgotten about our exchange—or lack thereof—as she’d patched me up and splinted my wrist last night. For the second time, I considered asking her why she’d been crying, but she was already lowering my arm back to the side and looking up to meet my eyes.
“You have more friends here than you know, Haldin. These people care about you, and they don’t blame you even half as much as you blame yourself. You should go in.”
I looked from her to the door and back again. Reluctantly nodded.
“You always seem to find me right when I need you to.” I frowned at her. “You sure you’re not a telepath?”
She might’ve blushed a shade or two. “Just well-connected, I’m afraid. It seems like my colleagues have gotten it in their heads that I’m your designated medic moving forward. They keep me posted.”
“Thank Alpha for that,” I said quietly, peering into Mara’s room. Then, realizing that might’ve sounded sarcastic, I turned to her. “Really. Thank you. I couldn’t have asked for better care…”
“Any of the five times I’ve patched you up in the past cycle?” she asked, arching a brow. “Or is it six? I’m starting to lose count now.”
I grimaced. “Might be seven soon.”
That killed what tiny bit of humor had crept into her eyes dead in its tracks. For a second, she almost looked angry. “Well mind that wrist, whatever you do. And get some rest, for the love of Alpha. You look—”
Demons of Divinity Page 40