by M. H. Bonham
The demon laughed and poured the entire contents of the fire extinguisher onto the elementals. The fire elementals screamed and tried to flee. Tuzren tossed away the empty canister and a new one appeared in his hands. He chased after the fire elementals and sprayed them with foam and fire retardant. They screamed like lobsters thrown into a boiling pot of water and then disappeared.
I pointed the Vorpal blade downward and stuck the tip into the ground, leaning heavily on it. Yeah, I know you’re not supposed to do that to a sword, as it would damage the point and warp the blade. But the Vorpal blade easily held my weight as I leaned on it. My eyelids drooped and my vision tunneled. I heard my name called out from somewhere, but I didn’t respond as my eyes rolled back in my head and I collapsed.
Chapter Twenty-One
I thought I woke up dead. At least that’s what it looked like to me. I was in total blackness and feeling kind of floaty, like my spirit wasn’t attached to my body or anything. My spirit couldn’t see anything either, even though I was probably floating above my body. Weird.
“Hey, you awake yet?” I heard a familiar voice but I couldn’t quite place it. It sounded harsh and grating, but somewhat distant—as if over a large field away from me. Then, I heard a buzz in my ear like one of those mosquitos buzzing around your head before they suck your blood. Sort of like tiny vampires who leave a gift of histamine afterwards. Bastards.
I raised a hand and slapped—and hit something lumpy and somewhat soft.
“Ouch!” The voice sounded close up. And I heard a feminine laugh. Funny, if I were a spirit, why would I feel something I swatted at?
I opened my eyes. Duh. I guess I forgot to open them. Tuzren was rubbing his face, obviously annoyed that I hit him. “Uh, sorry?” I said, trying to remember how to speak. My world had suddenly snapped into focus.
“What was that all about?” The demon looked miffed. “I just saved your ass.”
I heard Li’alla trying to muffle peals of laughter and Tuzren glared at her.
“I thought you were a mini-vampire.” I tried to put a contrite look on my face.
Somewhat mollified, the demon turned to Li’alla. “Not funny, Drow-girl.”
Li’alla laughed even more, wiping tears from her eyes. “Sorry, sorry. The look on your face was just hysterical.”
Tuzren glowered his best demon glower, which only made Li’alla laugh harder. “No respect from kids these days, I tell you.” He turned to me. “You okay? I brought pizza—you look like you could use some.”
I stared at Tuzren. “Where did you get the pizza?”
“Beau Jo’s, of course.”
“And the fire extinguishers?”
He made a face. “I borrowed them. Left a note saying I’d bring them back.”
“From Beau Jo’s?” The alarm must have shown on my face, because Tuzren blanched.
“Oh no. I would never take them from Beau Jo’s. I wouldn’t want them in trouble with the fire marshal.”
“That’s a relief.” I leaned back against the hot ground. “Where did you take them from?”
“The Denver Convention Center.” He looked proud at the accomplishment.
“Oh shit, really?” I facepalmed.
“Yeah, and I signed your name so they’d know you’d be good for it.”
At that, I started pounding the back of my head against the ground, hoping to knock myself out again.
“Oh my god! He’s having a seizure!” Tuzren grabbed my head and thrust a filthy claw into my mouth, grabbing my tongue.”
“Uht-uh-uckk-rr-oou-ooo-ing?” I winced, tasting blood. His dirty nails were trying to perforate my tongue for a stud.
“Aren’t you supposed to keep people with seizures from swallowing their tongues?”
I glared at him. He let go and I turned over and spat out the blood and the acrid demon taste. “That’s a myth. People can’t swallow their tongues.”
“I can,” Tuzren said proudly. “Wanna see?”
“No!” Both Li’alla and I spoke in unison.
Tuzren harrumphed. “You’re just jealous. I’ll have you know, I’m very popular with the ladies.”
“TMI, dude!”
“Ack!” Li’alla turned away, slapping her hands to her pointed ears, and squeezing her eyes shut.
“You know, that’s what she said.” Tuzren looked at me thoughtfully and then shrugged. “Women. I can’t figure them out.”
“There’s truly not enough bleach in the world to rid yourself of that image,” I told Li’alla. “It’s best to think of something else.” I turned to Tuzren. “You still have pizza?”
“Yeah, I was bringing some back when I saw the elementals. So, I popped back to Denver and grabbed the extinguishers.” He pulled out a bag he had slung over his shoulder and unzipped it. The most glorious smell came from the bag—and the pizza was hot.”
“You didn’t steal this, too?” I asked the demon and glanced at Li’alla, who was already angling for a slice.
Tuzren put a big hairy claw to his chest. “You wound me.”
“How did you pay?”
“Well, I knew your card was maxed so I borrowed Elryn’s card.”
I was about to object, but shut my mouth instead. We’d get it sorted later. I waved at the pizza carton in the bag. “Ladies first.”
Li’alla opened up the box and gasped at the pizza. She grabbed two slices and crammed it into her mouth in a most unladylike way. That was okay, I was starved, too. I slowly sat up and grabbed a slice. Pepperoni and mushroom. Thick crust. I groaned in pure ecstasy as I tasted the perfect crust. Even if it did hurt the hole in my tongue.
“You have this wondrous food on your world?” Li’alla asked between bites.
“Yeah, we do.”
“I can see why you want to keep it the way it is. This is amazing.” She grinned.
I looked around now that I could see enough in the dark. We were inside a cavern. I frowned. “Are we inside? Where exactly?”
“Relax, I took you to an abandoned section of the tunnels.” Tuzren took a slice and held it in his claws. “I casted a bunch of illusions so nobody would see, hear, or smell us.”
“Good thinking.” I pointed to the pizza in his claws. “Won’t you Hulk out with that?”
“Only if I let it.” The demon smiled. “Eir helped me learn how to control it.”
I nodded. I looked around for anything we had. I saw the grimoire, my helmet, and the Vorpal blade lying beside me, but nothing else. “We lost our packs and food. As well as the explosives. Is there any way you can get some C4 or something from Earth?”
Tuzren made a face. “I’ll get right on it. You know, weaponry is usually warded now. The armed forces and even the gun shops have wards to stop demons. Not to mention a host of other mundane deterrents. Can’t you just use fireballs or something to destroy the Elfshot?”
I shook my head. “Li’alla says they’re warded against magic like fireballs.”
“Yeah, they would be.” Li’alla took another piece of pizza. “Usually Elfshot is immune to magical destructive energy. It wouldn’t stop a dragon from destroying them but magical fires and lightning won’t cut it.”
“We could try to find the explosives at the Dark Market.” I stubbornly believed there was something we could do.
“You mean the Dark Market we tore apart?” Li’alla raised an Elven eyebrow, very Spock-like after polishing off the three large pieces of pizza and going for a fourth slice. “Yeah, like we’d be able to find them again. Not even your demon could get through their wards.” She glanced at Tuzren. “No offense.”
“None taken.” Tuzren grabbed the last piece in the box and opened up a new one. This one was chicken with ranch sauce. A favorite of mine.
I snagged a couple of pieces and shook my head. “It seems ludicrous to go in there without a solid backup plan to destroy the Elfshot. I don’t think magic will cut it.”
“Maybe we should just cut our losses and leave.” Tuzren shrugged.
/> “I can’t do that. I’ve seen the future. It’s really ugly. No more Beau Jo’s.”
“Shit, that is serious.” Tuzren took a bite of his pizza and stared into space, thinking.
I turned to Li’alla. “Maybe you should go back home. You’ve gotten me to the complex where the Elfshot is, which is all you signed up for.”
“Are you kidding?” Li’alla stared at me. “Here is the one chance for the Ironspell clan to return to Midgard and live without Vindar’s retaliations. No way are you going without me.”
Tuzren grinned and then suddenly turned his head in alarm. “Someone’s coming. They’ve tripped the alarm wards and they’re nullifying the protection I put in place.”
I jumped up and almost collapsed again. Instead, I staggered forward and smacked my head against the wall. “Who is it?” I swayed, dizzy from the lack of sleep and magic use. The pizza had done wonders, but not enough. I leaned down to grab the Vorpal blade and instead collapsed on my half-eaten pizza.
Great. The Drow would find us and I couldn’t even stand up.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Scram,” I whispered to Tuzren. The demon popped out of sight. I had already dropped my illusion, so I looked like a soldier in my armor. I tried straightening up my stance, only to gasp as black spots filled my vision. I slid down to the ground and shook my head.
“Hey, you two!” Several dragon-scaled soldiers rushed up to me and Li’alla as I laid trembling on the tunnel’s floor.
I glanced at Li’alla to tell her to run, only to see a male Elf in dragonscale looking over me to check my injuries. I almost gasped in surprise, realizing that Li’alla was amazingly good at illusions. Possibly because Nana taught her.
“Nim’mar is hurt.” Li’alla said gruffly.
“Did you two find more Sunnies?” The first Drow spoke.
“There were Sunnies?” I repeated stupidly.
Their eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Nim’mar hit his head in the attack.” Li’alla met their gazes. “He’s confused. The Sunny hit him with a blast of some sort of energy.”
Bless her, I thought.
“Three Sunnies surprised us.” Li’alla unbuckled my helmet and pulled it off my head slowly to make sure she wouldn’t cause more pain. “Those and those blasted Fire Elementals. Where did they come from?”
The leader made a face. “Vindar told me they’re Fane’s doing. The bastard has decided to call elementals to do his dirty work now.”
I stared up blankly, but Li’alla nodded thoughtfully. “It didn’t make sense that they would go after us and those Sunnies.”
“Can you handle him or do you need our help?” the leader asked.
“We’re good,” she said. “I have some healing magic, so we’ll be back at our post soon.”
“Good.” He nodded and motioned with his head to the others. “Let’s see if we can find those Sunnies.”
“They headed back outside after I shot at them.” She turned back to me, checking my burns.
They left and I tried to get up. Lialla pushed me down. “You didn’t tell me the elementals burned you.”
“It’s nothing,” I muttered, but she shook her head.
“You have blisters on your hands. No wonder your power isn’t coming back. Your body is focused on the wounds.” She took my hands and I winced. Li’alla focused on them and a strange green light flowed from her hands to mine.
I watched in stunned amazement as the burns and blisters disappeared, leaving healthy skin. “I didn’t know Dark Elves had healers.”
She smiled. “Don’t believe everything the Sunnies tell you. We really are closely related.”
Tuzren appeared next to me. “We better eat up. Those Drow will be back soon enough once they don’t see any Light Elves.”
Li’alla dropped the illusion and we returned to eating pizza, despite the appearance of Roomba rats looking for an easy meal. The pizza was slightly cold, but Tuzren casted a quick warming spell and it was almost as good as fresh. Despite the little demon’s propensity for chatter, even he was silent. We finished the food and as I drank some soda pop Tuzren had gotten in to-go cups, I felt remarkably better.
Li’alla eyed the straw and the drink he handed her like a snake, but she watched me drink out of the straw and mimicked me. She spat it out. “What is this foul concoction? Do humans drink this?”
“It’s a soft drink,” I said, laughing at her face. “Yeah, people love this stuff.”
“It’s revolting.” She shook her head. “Too sweet and sharp at the same time.”
I glanced at Tuzren, who shrugged and took it from her. He was more than happy to drink it.
I looked at them both. “If Vindar’s Drow captured a Light Elf and a human, who do you think it might be?”
Tuzren shook his head. “Elryn and Duncan were in bad shape in Mengloth. I doubt they healed enough to come here.”
“But what about the time differential?” I asked. “Could Elryn have taken the genetics to survive and they somehow followed after us?”
“Time is tricky,” Li’alla said. “Only time mages know how time works between dimensions, and even then they can be wrong. That’s why Elves have such long life spans. We travel between time and space between our worlds and because we can’t predict the warping, we’ve had to adapt to ensure no matter how much time has flowed between our worlds, we won’t age.”
I cocked my head. “Did you evolve that way or did the travel between dimensions make your people that way?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe a little of both.”
I glanced at Tuzren. “What do you think?”
Tuzren looked deep in thought. “I suppose the time in Mengloth could’ve sped up faster than here. But I would have to go back to Mengloth—something that is difficult to do. I can bounce between Earth and here, but that’s because the Drow have enough portals into your world that I can access. There aren’t any open portals from Mengloth since you guys left.”
“Then, how did you get here?” I looked at him, intrigued by the admission.
“You called me, remember? It’s a good thing I wasn’t on the crapper when you summoned me.”
“My summoning opened up a temporary portal to this world?”
“Yeah, and I’m going to ask that you don’t do that again without good reason.” He looked a little cross. “I was asleep when you called.”
“Too bad cell phones don’t work across dimensions,” I muttered.
“Yeah, that’d be great to put orders in to Beau Jo’s.” Tuzren smirked. “Now, if we could just get them to deliver interdimensionally.”
“The delivery fee would probably be astronomical.” I kept my face deadpanned.
Li’alla rolled her eyes and facepalmed. Tuzren chortled at the joke.
~ * ~
We started walking deeper into the caverns. Tuzren told me he had a chance to scout out the Elfshot but couldn’t get beyond the wards into one room on the far side of the complex. We all assumed the Drow had hidden the Elfshot there.
The tunnel curved downward and we all cast air conditioning spells on us to protect us from the heat. Li’alla cast an illusion so she looked like a Drow soldier. She had made her face harder and more masculine as well as removed her curves and added the illusion of dragonscale armor. Tuzren decided he would simply disappear should anyone round the corner.
True to his word, the little demon had brought us to an out of the way tunnel where few of Vindar’s troops would enter. I suspected that by the look of the tunnels, this was a very old complex and Vindar had simply taken it over from someone else.
“One of those soldiers mentioned Fane, whom I presume is another warlord,” I said as we walked.
Li’alla nodded. “Fane is one of the five warlords in the region trying to establish power.”
“Wait, there are five?”
“In this region alone.” Her tight-lipped smile, even through the illusion, let me know that the Ironspe
lls had dealings with Fane before.
“Is he powerful?” I glanced upward to make sure Tuzren was in on the conversation.
“He’s a powerful mage. Nana barely defeated him the last time we encountered him.” She glanced askance at me. “It’s been a long while since we’ve had to deal with him. I thought maybe one of the other warlords had taken him out.”
“Terrific.” Suddenly Vindar wasn’t looking so bad. “So, is Vindar keeping Fane in check?”
“Doubtful. Vindar has mages, but they’re nowhere near as powerful. Fane wasn’t particularly interested in Earth—he just wanted to solidify his power here on Svartalfheim. He isn’t fond of Ironspells either.” She gave me a knowing glance.
“That’s comforting to know. Maybe I should go by my mom’s maiden name instead.”
“What, and end up being called ‘Cabbage?’” Tuzren snickered.
“It’s Ironspell-Cabas.” I grumbled at his smirk.
“What’s your given name?” Li’alla asked.
“Bob.”
Li’alla stopped and stared at me. Her frame began to shake and she put her hand to her mouth.
I halted and turned to help her. “You okay?”
She let out a giggle. “Bob? There’s a scary name!”
I frowned. “Hey, that’s my name.”
“Watch out everyone or you’ll be turned into toads by Bob the Terrible!” She snickered.
“His given name is Robert, if that helps.” Tuzren flew down to my shoulder and sat.
I glared at him.
Li’alla chuckled, trying to hold back a laughing fit. “I like Bob. It sounds so…”
“Sinister?” the demon offered.
Li’alla burst into an uncontrolled fit of giggles. “Yeah…that…” She spoke between gasps of breath.
“Are you two done?” I sighed. “Let’s get serious here. We have to find Elfshot and we probably have to rescue the Light Elves. They’re probably from my party.”
“Assuming they were from Eir.” Tuzren shifted on my shoulder. “You know, Vindar probably killed them on the spot.”