by Liza Street
The desire to cling to him was strong, and she wondered how he would react if she refused to let go of him. But she allowed him to set her on the cold ground. She shivered. He rummaged in his pack until he found a sleeping bag, which he unfolded and lay across the driest part of the hollow. He gestured for Tamryn to scoot onto it, so she did, and then he finished laying it out where she’d been sitting. Jubilee at once came to Tamryn’s side and curled against her leg.
This wasn’t as good as resting in his arms, but it beat the cold ground. “Thank you,” Tamryn said.
“You’re welcome. Let’s take a look at your foot.”
Before she could move, he’d pulled her leg into his lap.
Nolan untied Tamryn’s laces and eased off her boot. She bit her lip against the pain.
Feeling along her ankle and heel, he gently applied pressure. “Does this hurt?”
“Not terribly.”
“I don’t think anything is broken,” he said.
“All right.”
“You know, if you shifted into your dragon, it would heal faster.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
After a pause, he said, “That doesn’t sound true to me.”
“It is. I can’t do it.”
“Can’t, or won’t?”
She pursed her lips, trying to think. Can’t. It was can’t. She physically could not shift into her dragon.
But if she could, would she do it?
“Both?” she said. “I can’t, and I won’t.”
Instead of reacting with impatience, as Illary had been doing before she disappeared, Nolan held her injured foot in his lap and gave her a gentle smile. “Care to tell me why?”
She took a deep breath. “Have you ever been hunted?”
“No,” he said. “Can’t say that I have.”
Flashes of her childhood and adolescence bombarded her mind. She struggled to focus only on one thing at a time. “My people have been hunted since before my grandparents were born. Other shifters learned that they could use the magic in a dragon’s skin, and they began hunting us for that power. They force a shift, then peel the skin from our bodies.”
Nolan was quiet, although his eyes blazed. She wondered at the raw anger pulsing through him.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Just mad that people would do that, is all,” he said.
“Yes. It’s unspeakably awful.” She twisted her fingers in her lap before pointing to her face. “My burn scar is from my father defending us. I was very small, and we were walking in the forest near our castle. Skin-hunters came upon us unexpectedly. My father shifted and breathed fire. I didn’t get away quite in time.”
The wind howled, gusts sending unexpected raindrops into her face. She blinked them away.
“My father felt terrible, of course. But we escaped those skin-hunters and the others didn’t return to our territory for a long time. My mother told me that I was safe. She said that I didn’t have my dragon form yet, and so the bad people wouldn’t hurt me. It was a child’s understanding of a difficult concept, but I wasn’t the only dragon shifter to take the lesson to heart.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Nolan said softly.
“There were others. Friends, courtiers, allies in other countries. Quite a few of us decided not to take our dragon forms, even when we were old enough to do so.”
“The change doesn’t force itself on you?” Nolan asked, his eyebrows raised.
“No...is it different for you?”
“For me and everyone I know. Involuntary shifts, around the time puberty hits.”
Tamryn couldn’t imagine how hard that would be. She knew her dragon was within her, but the dragon wouldn’t appear until Tamryn allowed it.
And even then, it seemed her dragon was hiding from her.
Or she was hiding her dragon.
She buried her face in her hands. “I’m a coward.”
“No.” He tugged her against him and she pressed her face into his shoulder instead of her palms. He felt so alive, so warm and real. “You’re not a coward, Tamryn. You’re brave.”
It was hard to believe, but he made her want to believe. He made her want to be brave.
This man, who she’d met only a few days prior, made her want to be better.
Chapter Eleven
The rain turned into fat, slushy drops as the temperature dipped. Tamryn slept. He held his breath occasionally, waiting to hear that she was still breathing. At one point, he woke her up and helped her put on all the extra clothes in her pack. It was so cold, though, he worried that the extra clothing wouldn’t be enough. All he could think of was how Em had died, her skin pale, bleached of color. She shouldn’t have left him that night. It was all his fault.
Carefully, so he wouldn’t disturb Tamryn or the fawn, Nolan lifted off the sleeping bag and laid the portion he’d been sitting on over Tamryn’s lap. She sighed in her sleep and resettled against his shoulder.
He listened for danger. He listened to the rain and the wind. He listened to Tamryn’s breathing, to her heartbeat.
And he listened to his own fears, replaying like nightmares in his mind. Em’s silence. The crunch of snow beneath his running feet.
Tamryn wasn’t his. He couldn’t claim her, even though his inner polar bear was going crazy with the need.
She belongs to someone else, he told himself.
But she’d felt, for a little while, like his. She’d come against his hand, her tight pussy squeezing his finger, her breathy moans filling his ears, her cinnamon candy scent filling his nostrils.
Irritated with himself, he adjusted his pants where his dick was currently pressing, frustrated and hard.
Now he was turned on and afraid at once. Winning combo. Good job, Nolan, he thought sarcastically.
Eventually, the storm passed. The rain slowed. His cock relaxed, finally understanding it wouldn’t be used anytime soon.
A little before dawn, he wrapped both arms around Tamryn and threw one of his legs over hers, careful not to kick the fawn. It was the only way he knew to ensure Tamryn was warm enough, and she didn’t complain about his weight covering her. Satisfied, for the moment, that she wouldn’t die in her sleep, he dozed.
HE WOKE ALONE, THE space beside him cold. Tamryn was gone. Even the fawn was missing. He sat up, surprised. How had she gotten away from him without waking him?
Cocking his head to the side, he listened to the forest. If Tamryn was walking, she made no sound at all. The sun shone, although it was weak through patchy clouds. He stood up and sniffed the air, searching for the scent of Red Hot candies.
She’d gone east, so he headed that way.
He passed the fawn, who was currently absorbed in the task of nibbling an entire shrub clean of its greenery. He hadn’t gone more than twenty extra yards before he stopped in his tracks, struck by the beauty in front of him.
Tamryn sat on a rock, fully nude, in a patch of sunlight. Her eyes were closed, her face blank. Behind her was a pond, water trickling into it from the rocky face of the mountain above them.
She was trying to call her dragon, he could tell.
Something about their conversation last night seemed to have sparked new motivation in her. She was brave to do this, after everything she and her family had been through. He understood, now, her reluctance.
He hurried over to her, then paused. What if she didn’t want company?
“Join me,” she said softly.
“You sure?” he asked.
Without opening her eyes, she patted the stone next to her.
He stripped off his clothes, his gaze on Tamryn the whole time. Something had changed for her during the night. Whereas before she’d seemed a little scared, a little insecure, now she was acting comfortable in her own skin.
It was a gorgeous sight to behold.
He sat down quietly, reverently, next to the edge of the rock that jutted over the water. Behind them was a steep drop going straight
into the lake.
“Have you called your dragon forward?” he asked.
“Not yet. But she’s there. I can sense her. After so much time pushing her away, I’m surprised she’s responding to me at all.”
He closed his eyes, being quiet alongside her. He didn’t know what she needed from him, if anything, but it soothed his unquiet soul to be with her in this way. Several minutes passed, where they sat together, breathing in the forest.
After a little while, Tamryn spoke. “How does it work when you shift? What do you do, what do you see?”
He thought about it for a moment. “I don’t see anything, really. I just reach for the bear, and my body does the work. It was harder when I was younger, but now it’s almost subconscious. I don’t have to think about it at all.”
“That’s hardly fair,” she said.
“You’ll get it, don’t worry. Can you picture yourself as a dragon? Maybe flying over the lake?” He peeked over at her.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. The brilliant red of her hair shone in the sun. He wanted to take a lock of it in his fingers, feel its softness. “My father could do it. Everything came easily to him, from fighting, to battle strategies...”
She trailed off, and Nolan got the impression it might be hard for her to think of her father. Then again, sometimes talking about painful things could help.
“He was good to you?” Nolan asked.
“Oh, very. He was the best father I could’ve had. He was so patient, even when I was small and fidgeted during the lessons he gave me.”
“He gave you lessons?”
“Battles, primarily. How dragons fight in the air and on land. I wasn’t always a good student.”
“What would he advise you now?” Nolan asked.
“He’d advise me to work on envisioning my dragon. Probably, as you said, flying over the lake. But I feel as that’s all I’ve been doing for the past hour.”
“Let’s close our eyes and try to picture that,” he said. “Just one more time.”
She gave a huff of impatience and wrinkled her nose at him. Her eyes opened and she said, “I’m ready to be finished with this exercise.”
“Come on,” he said. “One more try? Let’s close our eyes.”
Without waiting for her agreement, he shut his eyes and tried to lead by example. Then he felt her hands on his shoulders. He reached up to touch her, but before he could grasp her wrists, she shoved him, hard. His eyes shot open and he saw the underside of the rock he’d just been sitting on, and Tamryn leaning over the edge, grinning.
Cold water enveloped him as he hit the lake with a loud smack. It stung like a fucker. He kicked through the freezing water to swim to the surface and came up cussing.
Tamryn was still watching him, laughing.
He smiled back. “The water’s great. You should come in, too. There must be some kind of hot spring or something.”
“I applaud your attempt to fool me, Mr. Marks, but I can sense lies just as well as any other shifter. However, I could use a bath.” She crouched on the lip of the rock, then jumped.
Her splash soaked Nolan again, but he didn’t mind. She swam over to him and treaded water, her eyes on his. The water darkened her bright hair, turning it into a rich auburn sheet that plastered itself to her head and neck.
He had to kiss her. He shot out a hand and grabbed her arm, yanking her to him. She gasped, then laughed. He kissed away her giggles and swam closer to the shore where he could touch the bottom of the lake. Tamryn watched his face with wide eyes. All he could think about was holding her, making her feel good.
With the soles of his feet grounded in dirt and rock, he kissed Tamryn, pouring everything he was, everything he hoped to be into the kiss.
She held his shoulders, tugging him closer, rubbing her slippery, wet legs against his. It would be so easy to take her here, now, to slide inside her wet heat and bring them both to the joy they so desperately wanted to give each other. He grabbed her ass with one hand, tugging her closer. His cock pressed against her lower stomach and he groaned.
“I want you,” he said. “So bad.” Then he tasted her lips again.
She moaned and rubbed against his chest, her nipples stiff against his skin. With a gasp, she pulled back. “I want you too much,” she said.
They stared at each other, breathing hard.
“You think we should get going,” he said.
She nodded. “I don’t want to.”
“Illary said you had a duty to fulfill.”
“I do.” She looked down and away from him.
Taking her hand, he led her to the shore of the lake, away from the water and their real-life dream.
Chapter Twelve
Four days had passed since they’d kissed in the water, and Tamryn was just as confused as ever. She admired Nolan and was attracted to him, but she was betrothed to someone else.
Her mother had chosen Charles for a reason.
Yet the idea of kissing anyone other than Nolan made her chest hurt with a mixture of sorrow and dread. Was Nolan an obstacle to her destiny with Charles? It was hard to think that when her entire being yearned to be with Nolan.
She didn’t know what to do or how to behave. Nolan still slept at the entrance to her tent in his bear form. He didn’t shift and come inside. Somehow, it seemed lonelier with him being so close, yet not touching her.
Not only that, her dragon still wouldn’t come forth.
The weather had improved to the point Tamryn actually felt warm as they hiked, and they spent most of their time walking in silence. She wondered if Nolan was as confused as she was. He had to be thinking about how they were about to meet Tamryn’s intended. Maybe that didn’t matter to him like it mattered to her, though. Maybe his feelings weren’t as strong.
She wished she were more experienced. Her mother had laughingly told Tamryn stories about her many suitors, and how in the end it was Tamryn’s father who had stolen her heart. Which was lucky, because their marriage had been arranged since they’d been children.
It had worked for her parents, the entire royal child betrothal business. She had to give it a fair chance, didn’t she?
Except every part of her wanted to grab Nolan and walk back down the mountain, away from the place Illary had said they would find Charles.
She didn’t want to lose Nolan.
They’d climbed quite high; Tamryn turned occasionally to survey the view behind them. The forest stretched out like a vast blanket of green, far into the distance. The sun would be setting soon, which meant another night spent on the side of the mountain. Tamryn desperately wanted to sleep beside Nolan, soaking in his heat.
But she shouldn’t touch him. Not like they’d done before.
Jubilee, who had been walking along at Tamryn’s side, stopped suddenly. One of her ears swiveled to the side.
“What’s going on?” Nolan asked.
“Wait,” Tamryn whispered.
They both stopped walking, waiting to see what the fawn would do. Tamryn couldn’t hear anything beyond the usual sounds of the forest—the wind in the trees, smaller mammals far away. The large ones had been scarce; perhaps they were frightened off by Tamryn’s and Nolan’s unfamiliar scents in the air.
Jubilee gave a high-pitched bleat. Then she started forward on quick legs, almost running.
Tamryn didn’t think—she took off after the fawn. She could hear Nolan behind her, easily keeping pace.
She stopped as suddenly as she’d begun. Jubilee stood next to a larger deer, a doe who regarded Tamryn with an inscrutable look in her large, dark eyes.
“We found the mother,” Tamryn said in an excited whisper. “Jubilee found her mother!”
Her eyes felt wet. She wasn’t sure why. Happiness? She was happy for the fawn, certainly. But she also knew this was the end of their journey together.
She also couldn’t help comparing the fawn’s journey to her own. She’d thought them both orphans, but that hadn’t been the case for
Jubilee, and Tamryn felt as if she were losing her mother all over again.
Jubilee trotted over to stand in front of Tamryn. She nudged Tamryn’s hand with her nose, so Tamryn gave her a little scratch behind her ear.
“Goodbye, little one,” Tamryn said.
Jubilee stared up at Tamryn with her big, black eyes, then turned around and went back to the doe. They each gave Tamryn and Nolan another long look before bounding away. It didn’t take long for them to disappear into the trees.
Nolan put a hand on Tamryn’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, of course,” Tamryn said. “It’s a better outcome for Jubilee than I’d imagined. I’ll miss her, though.”
Nolan nodded in understanding, and no more needed to be said. The two of them resumed their hike.
THE SUN WAS SETTING, burnishing everything with its orange light. They’d climbed higher and higher and now even in the sunlight, it felt cold.
From looking at the map, Tamryn was certain they would reach Charles’s location within two days.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked over that evening’s supper of protein bars and dried apple slices.
Wiggling her toes in her boots, she said, “Yes, thank you.”
“I could build a fire if you want. There’s been no sign of anyone following us since...”
He trailed off, probably not knowing how to explain what had happened to Illary and the people who had been after them.
“You seem very concerned about the cold,” she said.
He shrugged. “You seem susceptible to it.”
“I am.” She hated the cold. Dry, hot days were her favorite. “There’s more to this for you, though.”
“There is.” His gray eyes were darker than usual, troubled.
She reached toward him. “It’s all right. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“I had a girlfriend.”
“You were...courting someone? Is that what girlfriend means?”
“Yeah.” He flashed her a smile that nearly stopped her heart. “I forget how old you are sometimes.”