by Nora Roberts
Grinning, she sat up. “Good.” With a rare show of energy, she struggled back into the bulky cover-up and sprang up. Bending over the pot of shrimp, she breathed deep. “Wonderful. I didn’t know you were so talented.”
“I decided it was time I let you in on some of my more admirable qualities.”
With a half smile, she looked back to see him slipping on his shorts. “Oh?”
“Yeah. After all, we’ve got to travel a long way together yet.” He sent her a quiet, enigmatic look. “A long way.”
“I don’t—” She stopped herself and turned to toy with the salad. “This looks good,” she began, too brightly.
“Bryan.” He stopped her before she could reach in the cupboard above for bowls. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” Did he always have to see? she demanded. Couldn’t she hide anything from him?
He stepped over, took her arms and held her face to face. “What?”
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow, all right?” The brightness was still there, straining. “I’m really hungry. The shrimp’s cool by now, so—”
“Now.” With a quick shake, he reminded both of them that his patience only stretched so far.
“I’ve decided to fly back,” she blurted out. “I can get a flight out tomorrow afternoon.”
He went very still, but she was too busy working out her explanation to notice just how dangerously still. “Why?”
“I’ve had to reschedule like crazy to fit in this assignment. The extra time I’d get would ease things.” It sounded weak. It was weak.
“Why?”
She opened her mouth, prepared to give him a variation on the same theme. One look from him stopped her. “I just want to get back,” she managed. “I know you’d like company on the drive, but the assignment’s finished. Odds are you’ll make better time without me.”
He fought back the anger. Anger wasn’t the way. If he’d given in to it, he’d have shouted, raged, threatened. That wasn’t the way. “No,” he said simply, and left it at that.
“No?”
“You’re not flying back tomorrow.” His voice was calm, but his eyes said a great deal more. “We go together, Bryan.”
She braced herself. An argument, she decided, would be easy. “Now look—”
“Sit down.”
Haughtiness came to her rarely, but when it did, it was exceptional. “I beg your pardon?”
For an answer, Shade gave her a quick shove onto the bench. Without speaking, he pulled open a drawer and took out the manila envelope that held his most recently developed prints. Tossing them onto the table, he pulled out the one of Bryan.
“What do you see?” he demanded.
“Myself.” She cleared her throat. “I see myself, of course.”
“Not good enough.”
“That’s what I see,” she tossed back, but she didn’t look down at the print again. “That’s all there is.”
Perhaps fear played a part in his actions. He didn’t want to admit it. But it was fear, fear that he’d imagined something that wasn’t there. “You see yourself, yes. A beautiful woman, a desirable woman. A woman,” he continued slowly, “looking at the man she loves.”
He’d stripped her. Bryan felt it as though he’d actually peeled off layer after layer of pretense, defense, disguise. She’d seen the same thing in the image he’d frozen on film. She’d seen it, but what gave him the right to strip her?
“You take too much,” she said in a quiet voice. Rising, she turned away from him. “Too damned much.”
Relief poured through him. He had to close his eyes on it for a moment. Not imagination, not illusion, but truth. Love was there, and with it, his beginning. “You’ve already given it.”
“No.” Bryan turned back, holding on to what she had left. “I haven’t given it. What I feel is my responsibility. I haven’t asked you for anything, and I won’t.” She took a deep breath. “We agreed, Shade. No complications.”
“Then it looks like we both reneged, doesn’t it?” He grabbed her hand before she could move out of reach. “Look at me.” His face was close, candlelight flickering over it. Somehow the soft light illuminated what he’d seen, what he’d lived through, what he’d overcome. “Don’t you see anything when you look at me? Can you see more in a stranger on the beach, a woman in a crowd, a kid on a street corner, than you do when you look at me?”
“Don’t—” she began, only to be cut off.
“What do you see?”
“I see a man,” she said, speaking quickly, passionately. “A man who’s had to see more than he should. I see a man who’s learned to keep his feelings carefully controlled because he isn’t quite sure what would happen if he let loose. I see a cynic who hasn’t been able to completely stamp out his own sensitivity, his own empathy.”
“True enough,” he returned evenly, though it was both more and less than he’d wanted to hear. “What else?”
“Nothing,” she told him, close to panic. “Nothing.”
It wasn’t enough. The frustration came through; she could feel it in his hands. “Where’s your perception now? Where’s the insight that takes you under the glitter of some temperamental leading man to the core? I want you to see into me, Bryan.”
“I can’t.” The words came out on a shudder. “I’m afraid to.”
Afraid? He’d never considered it. She took emotions in stride, sought them, dug for them. He loosened his grip on her and said the words that were the most difficult for him to speak. “I love you.”
She felt the words slam into her, knocking her breathless. If he said them, he meant them, of that she could be sure. Had she been so caught up in her own feelings that she hadn’t seen his? It was tempting, it would be easy, to simply go into his arms and take the risk. But she remembered that they’d both risked before, and failed.
“Shade…” She tried to think calmly, but his words of love still rang in her head. “I don’t—you can’t—”
“I want to hear you say it.” He held her close again. There was no place to go. “I want you to look at me, knowing everything you’ve said about me is true, and tell me.”
“It couldn’t work,” she began quickly, because her knees were shaking. “It couldn’t, don’t you see? I’d want it all because I’m just idiot enough to think maybe this time—with you … Marriage, children, that’s not what you want, and I understand. I didn’t think I wanted them either, until everything got so out of control.”
He was calmer now, as she became more frazzled. “You haven’t told me yet.”
“All right.” She nearly shouted it. “All right then, I love you, but I—”
He closed his mouth over hers so there could be no excuses. For now, he could simply drink in the words and all they meant to him. Salvation. He could believe in it.
“You’ve a hell of a nerve,” he said against her mouth, “telling me what I want.”
“Shade, please.” Giving in to the weakness, she dropped her head on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to complicate things. I don’t want to now. If I fly back, it’ll give us both time to put things back in perspective. My work, your work—”
“Are important,” he finished. “But not as important as this.” He waited until her eyes slowly lifted to his. Now his voice was calm again. His grip eased, still holding her but without the desperation. “Nothing is, Bryan. You didn’t want it, maybe I thought I didn’t, but I know better now. Everything started with you. Everything important. You make me clean.” He ran a hand through her hair. “God, you make me hope again, believe again. Do you think I’m going to let you take all that away from me?”
The doubts began to fade, quietly, slowly. Second chances? Hadn’t she always believed in them? Long shots, she remembered. You only had to want to win badly enough.
“No,” she murmured. “But I need a promise. I need the promise, Shade, and then I think we could do anything.”
So did he. “I promise to love you, to respect you. To care for you
whether you like it or not. And I promise that what I am is yours.” Reaching up, he flipped open the cupboard door. Speechless, Bryan watched him draw out a tiny cardboard pot of pansies. Their scent was light and sweet and lasting.
“Plant them with me, Bryan.”
Her hands closed over his. Hadn’t she always believed life was as simple as you made it? “As soon as we’re home.”
Epilogue
“Cooperate, will you?”
“No.” Amused, but not altogether pleased, Shade watched Bryan adjust the umbrellas beside and behind him. It seemed to him she’d been fiddling with the lighting a great deal longer than necessary.
“You said I could have anything I wanted for Christmas,” she reminded him as she held the light meter up to his face. “I want this picture.”
“It was a weak moment,” he mumbled.
“Tough.” Unsympathetic, Bryan stepped back to study the angles. There, the lighting was perfect, the shadows just where they should be. But … A long-suffering sigh came out. “Shade, stop glowering, will you?”
“I said you could take the picture. I didn’t say it’d be pretty.”
“No chance of that,” she said under her breath.
Exasperated, she brushed at her hair, and the thin gold band on her left hand caught the light. Shade watched it glimmer with the same sort of odd pleasure he always felt when it hit him that they were a team, in every way. With a grin, he joined his left hand with hers, so that the twin rings they wore touched lightly.
“Sure you want this picture for Christmas? I’d thought of buying you ten pounds of French chocolate.”
She narrowed her eyes, but her fingers laced with his. “A low blow, Colby. Dead low.” Refusing to be distracted, she backed off. “I’ll have my picture,” she told him. “And if you want to be nasty, I’ll buy my own chocolate. Some husbands,” she continued as she walked back to the camera set on a tripod, “would cater to their wife’s every whim when she’s in my delicate condition.”
He glanced down at the flat stomach under baggy overalls. It still dazed him that there was life growing there. Their life. When summer came again, they’d hold their first child. It wouldn’t do to let her know he had to fight the urge to pamper her, to coddle her every moment. Instead, Shade shrugged and dipped his hands in his pockets.
“Not this one,” he said lightly. “You knew what you were getting when you married me.”
She looked at him through the viewfinder. His hands were in his pockets, but he wasn’t relaxed. As always, his body was ready to move, his mind moving already. But in his eyes she saw the pleasure, the kindness and the love. Together they were making it work. He didn’t smile, but Bryan did as she clicked the shutter.
“So I did,” she murmured.
ALSO BY NORA ROBERTS
Hot Ice • Sacred Sins • Brazen Virtue • Sweet Revenge • Public Secrets • Genuine Lies • Carnal Innocence • Divine Evil • Honest Illusions • Private Scandals • Hidden Riches • True Betrayals • Montana Sky • Sanctuary • Homeport • The Reef • River’s End • Carolina Moon • The Villa • Midnight Bayou • Three Fates • Birthright • Northern Lights • Blue Smoke • Angels Fall • High Noon • Tribute • Black Hills • The Search • Chasing Fire • The Witness • Whiskey Beach • The Collector • Tonight and Always • The Liar • The Obsession • Come Sundown • Shelter in Place • Under Currents • Hideaway • Legacy
Irish Born Trilogy
Born in Fire • Born in Ice • Born in Shame
Dream Trilogy
Daring to Dream • Holding the Dream • Finding the Dream
Chesapeake Bay Saga
Sea Swift • Rising Tides • Inner Harbor • Chesapeake Blue
Gallaghers of Ardmore Trilogy
Jewels of the Sun • Tears of the Moon • Heart of the Sea
Three Sisters Island Trilogy
Dance Upon the Air • Heaven and Earth • Face the Fire
Key Trilogy
Key of Light • Key of Knowledge • Key of Valor
In the Garden Trilogy
Blue Dahlia • Black Rose • Red Lily
Circle Trilogy
Morrigan’s Cross • Dance of the Gods • Valley of Silence
Sign of Seven Trilogy
Blood Brothers • The Hollow • The Pagan Stone
Bride Quartet
Vision in White • Bed of Roses • Savor the Moment • Happy Ever After
The Inn Boonsboro Trilogy
The Next Always • The Last Boyfriend • The Perfect Hope
The Cousins O’Dwyer Trilogy
Dark Witch • Shadow Spell • Blood Magick
The Guardians Trilogy
Stars of Fortune • Bay of Sighs • Island of Glass
Chronicles of The One
Year One • Of Blood and Bone • The Rise of Magicks
The Dragon Heart Legacy
The Awakening
EBOOKS BY NORA ROBERTS
Cordina’s Royal Family
Affaire Royale • Command Performance • The Playboy Prince • Cordina’s Crown Jewel
The Donovan Legacy
Captivated • Entranced • Charmed • Enchanted
The O’Hurleys
The Last Honest Woman • Dance to the Piper • Skin Deep • Without a Trace
Night Tales
Night Shift • Night Shadow • Nightshade • Night Smoke • Night Shield
The MacGregors
The Winning Hand • The Perfect Neighbor • All the Possibilities • One Man’s Art • Tempting Fate • Playing the Odds • The MacGregor Brides • The MacGregor Grooms • Rebellion/In from the Cold • For Now, Forever
The Calhouns
Suzanna’s Surrender • Megan’s Mate • Courting Catherine • A Man for Amanda • For the Love of Lilah
Irish Legacy
Irish Rose • Irish Rebel • Irish Thoroughbred
Jack’s Stories
Best Laid Plans • Loving Jack • Lawless
Summer Love • Boundary Lines • Dual Image • First Impressions • The Law Is a Lady • Local Hero • This Magic Moment • The Name of the Game • Partners • Temptation • The Welcoming • Opposites Attract • Time Was • Times Change • Gabriel’s Angel • Holiday Wishes • The Heart’s Victory • The Right Path • Rules of the Game • Search for Love • Blithe Images • From This Day • Song of the West • Island of Flowers • Her Mother’s Keeper • Untamed • Sullivan’s Woman • Less of a Stranger • Reflections • Dance of Dreams • Storm Warning • Once More with Feeling • Endings and Beginnings • A Matter of Choice
NORA ROBERTS & J. D. ROBB
Remember When
J. D. ROBB
Naked in Death • Glory in Death • Immortal in Death • Rapture in Death • Ceremony in Death • Vengeance in Death • Holiday in Death • Conspiracy in Death • Loyalty in Death • Witness in Death • Judgment in Death • Betrayal in Death • Seduction in Death • Reunion in Death • Purity in Death • Portrait in Death • Imitation in Death • Divided in Death • Visions in Death • Survivor in Death • Origin in Death • Memory in Death • Born in Death • Innocent in Death • Creation in Death • Strangers in Death • Salvation in Death • Promises in Death • Kindred in Death • Fantasy in Death • Indulgence in Death • Treachery in Death • New York to Dallas • Celebrity in Death • Delusion in Death • Calculated in Death • Thankless in Death • Concealed in Death • Festive in Death • Obsession in Death • Devoted in Death • Brotherhood in Death • Apprentice in Death • Echoes in Death • Secrets in Death • Dark in Death • Leverage in Death • Connections in Death • Vendetta in Death • Golden in Death • Shadows in Death • Faithless in Death
ANTHOLOGIES
From the Heart • A Little Magic • A Little Fate
Moon Shadows
(with Jill Gregory, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Marianne Willman)
The Once Upon Series
(with Jill Gregory, Ruth Ryan Lan
gan, and Marianne Willman)
Once Upon a Castle • Once Upon a Star • Once Upon a Dream • Once Upon a Rose • Once Upon a Kiss • Once Upon a Midnight
Silent Night
(with Susan Plunkett, Dee Holmes, and Claire Cross)
Out of This World
(with Laurell K. Hamilton, Susan Krinard, and Maggie Shayne)
Bump in the Night
(with Mary Blayney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
Dead of Night
(with Mary Blayney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
Three in Death
Suite 606
(with Mary Blayney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
In Death
The Lost
(with Patricia Gaffney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
The Other Side
(with Mary Blayney, Patricia Gaffney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
Time of Death
The Unquiet
(with Mary Blayney, Patricia Gaffney, Ruth Ryan Langan, and Mary Kay McComas)
Mirror, Mirror
(with Mary Blayney, Elaine Fox, Mary Kay McComas, and R.C. Ryan)
Down the Rabbit Hole
(with Mary Blayney, Elaine Fox, Mary Kay McComas, and R.C. Ryan)
ALSO AVAILABLE …
The Official Nora Roberts Companion
(edited by Denise Little and Laura Hayden)
About the Author
NORA ROBERTS is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of more than 200 novels, including The Becoming, Legacy, The Awakening, Hideaway, The Chronicles of The One trilogy, and many more. She is also the author of the bestselling In Death series written under the pen name J. D. Robb. There are more than five hundred million copies of her books in print. You can sign up for email updates here.
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