by Hayes, Lane
I swam to the side and looked up at Danny. He flashed a wide, goofy grin at me and gave a thumbs-up sign before jumping high in the air. I laughed when he popped up in front of me a minute later. He sealed his lips over mine then pulled me underwater. I opened my eyes, but it was too dark to see much. It didn’t matter. I felt everything. His lips, his arms, his chest. I clung to him like a piece of seaweed, wrapping my legs around his hips as he brought us to the surface.
We gasped for air and laughed in that silly, life-affirming way that made me feel closer to him than anyone on the planet. I supposed that was my first glimmer we might be something extraordinary. But before I embarrassed either of us with a mistimed declaration of affection, Danny bit my bottom lip.
“You said something about me being inside you,” he reminded me in a huskier than usual voice.
“Yeah. I did. Let’s get outta here.”
We threw the beach towels he’d left on a chaise lounge over our shoulders then stopped to gather the sweatshirts he’d dropped from the roof before he’d jumped in with me. Then we hurried to Danny’s place. I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally stepped inside the warm condo.
“Hot shower or bed?” he purred, slipping his fingers under the elastic of my damp trunks and easing them over my ass and down my legs.
“Bed.”
“Mmm. Good choice.” He nipped my lip playfully then pulled his swim trunks off, grabbed my hand and propelled me down the short hallway to his bedroom.
We’d been here so many times over the past month or so that tumbling into bed should have felt almost normal. But this was different. Maybe it was the jump, or maybe he sensed the fragility of our limited time together and was anxious to make the most of it. Or perhaps it came down to going all the way. ’Cause yeah…blowjobs, hand jobs, and general feel-good groping were a daily occurrence for us, but this was new and special. And I didn’t want to fuck it up.
I had a tendency to equate sex with relationship status, which was funny considering I’d been single for years. I wondered if I came across as overeager…like the kind of guy who had matching rings designed and was ready and willing to pack my boxes and move into my lover’s place at a moment’s notice. Knowing I couldn’t have those things with Danny was probably a good thing. Maybe it kept me from scaring him away, I mused as I burrowed under his navy striped duvet.
Danny turned on the bedside lamp. Then he climbed in beside me and pulled me against his muscular chest. We made out with a familiarity I found comforting yet exciting. I loved that he knew exactly where to touch me and wasn’t afraid to test my limits. He glided his tongue over mine as he moved his hand down my spine to cup my ass, lifting my leg over his for better access. I jacked his cock while he ran his fingers along my crack and then teased my hole with the tip of a single digit.
I upped the tempo, stroking his length then fondling his balls. He groaned in protest when I let go to adjust myself. My stomach was slick with precum. Mine and his. I bucked my hips in a quest for friction because as amazing as this felt, I wanted more and I knew Danny did too. He was hard as a rock.
“Danny, I’m ready,” I said, breaking the kiss to bite his chin.
“Ready for what?”
“I thought you wanted to…you know.”
“I do but you aren’t ready.”
I furrowed my brow and leaned on my elbow. “I’m so ready, I’m going to freaking combust if you don’t lube up and put your dick in—”
“Hey, hey, hey. Easy, hotshot,” he chuckled as he rolled on top of me.
Danny nibbled my lips then kissed a path along my jaw and down my neck. Then he knelt between my thighs and reached for my cock. He made sure I was watching him before he bent to swallow me whole.
“Oh, my God.” I closed my eyes for a moment and raked my fingers through his thick hair.
Fuck, he was good at that. He angled his head to suck as much of me as possible then pulled back to lick my shaft from base to tip and back again until I was writhing beneath him, lifting my hips and groaning. Loudly. And when he flicked his tongue under my balls as he pressed his thumb over my hole, I went a little wild.
“More. Please. Just…more,” I begged.
Danny sat back suddenly and reached over me to open the side drawer of his nightstand. He put a condom on my stomach then uncapped a bottle of lube, poured a generous amount in his hand, and then resumed his position between my legs.
“Open up for me. That’s it,” he cooed as he pushed a finger inside me.
I winced at the intrusion but quickly adjusted and asked for another. Danny complied. Then he leaned over to suck my nipples one at a time until I yanked his hair to get his attention and asked for a third.
“No more, baby.” He flipped onto his back, grabbed the condom that fell off its perch on my stomach and unwrapped it. “Do you want do the honors?”
“Huh?” I asked, clearly disoriented. “You want me to—I thought you were going to top. I don’t like to top. This is going to be a problem, isn’t it? No. It’s not. I can do it.”
I held the latex disc between my thumb and middle finger and bit the inside of my cheek. I started when Danny snatched it away with a laugh.
“Shh. Come here,” he commanded as he rolled the condom over his rigid prick. “You can top from the bottom. Hurry up, Ry. I’m dyin’ here. Ride me, baby.”
That I could do. All night long.
I added more lube, then shimmied over his torso, set his cock at my entrance and slowly lowered myself. I inched my way down until I was fully seated, stopping a couple of times to catch my breath and gauge his expression. He looked so…beautiful and utterly in awe of the moment that I felt powerful somehow. And alive. The way I had in the water, only better because he wasn’t just with me. He was inside me.
“You feel amazing. I can’t believe it took us so long to do this,” I whispered as though we were in a holy place.
“Mmm. I know, but I’d never done it before and—”
I went still and braced my hands on his chest. “What? How can that be? I don’t get it.”
Danny chuckled as he raised his hips, sending a jolt of awareness through me. “There’s nothing to ‘get’ and now is definitely not the time to talk. Unless you want to stop.”
“No way,” I said, shaking my head vigorously.
He smacked my upper thigh lightly and grinned. “Then get movin’, baby. But…if I go too hard or get a little carried away, let me know and I’ll slow down or—”
“Not a chance. I want you, Danny.” I rolled my hips back and forth then bent to lick his lips. “Give me everything. Fuck me.”
His eyes glazed over with an intense sexual heat that made me wonder if I’d asked for more than I could handle. But when he caressed my face gently and pulled me forward in a toe-curling kiss that was equal parts sweet and dirty, I knew I’d met my match. Danny bent his knees and flattened his feet on the mattress, bucking upward in a steady moderate beat. Then he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as the momentum built between us.
Danny knew how to move and when to let me take over. Not that I wanted to. He gracefully balanced a frenzied, passionate lip-lock with a steady tilt of his hips. He fucked me from below in long, sweet strokes as I clutched his shoulders. My cock rubbed against his belly, no doubt leaving a liberal trail of precum. It felt amazing, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. Fast.
I rose on my knees then slid down his shaft and up again, holding his gaze as I moved. His nostrils flared when I tweaked his nipples. In a way, I supposed I was daring him to unleash his obvious restraint and let go. But I didn’t want to ask for it. I wanted him so overcome with lust and need that he couldn’t see straight or think clearly until he had me where he wanted me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said reverently. “So damn hot. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything like I want you. Only you, baby. Only you.”
I believed him. The desperation in his voice was too raw and real to be phony or placatin
g.
“Then what are you waiting for? Fuck me. Do it hard and—”
A second later I was flat on back with my legs over his shoulders holding on to his neck for dear life while he pistoned his hips relentlessly. Sweat dripped from his brow as he moved like thunder, peppering grunts of pleasure with sweet nothings like, “You’re so sexy, so hot,” and “I wanna fuck you all night.” That kind of thing. I preened at his nonsensical praise ’cause who didn’t love being told they were incredible while the mattress squeaked along at a steady tempo?
He lost his rhythm and went curiously quiet when I slipped my hand between our slick torsos. I jacked my cock and did my best to keep my orgasm at bay when the first tell-tale tingle skipped over my lower back. I reached down instinctively as he slowed, pulling almost all the way out. I traced his cock and at the last moment, pushed my finger inside at the same time he plunged forward.
And that was it. We fell headlong together into a perfect subspace of surreal cataclysmic pleasure. Danny came with a roar, bucking wildly with one hand on the headboard and the other on my shoulder. I was right there with him. Ropes of cum jetted across my stomach as my release pulled me under at the same time.
Neither of us moved or spoke for a long moment. I was overcome physically and emotionally. His words echoed in my ear. “Only you, baby. Only you.” It was like a line from a song or a poem or a chant you got caught up in whether or not you meant the words. I wanted it to be real and meaningful, but I knew wishing for something wasn’t the same as having it.
Danny kissed my brow and carefully disengaged himself from me. Then he rolled out of bed, slid the condom off, and wadded it in tissue before throwing it haphazardly toward the wastebasket next to the nightstand. I gestured for him to pass the tissue box, but he picked up a T-shirt lying on the floor and wiped us both clean before I could argue. Then he climbed over me, pulled me against his side, and threw the duvet over our heads.
I snickered as I tangled my feet with his, molding myself as close to him as possible. “You’re a goofball,” I said, unable to keep my utter adoration from bubbling to the surface.
Danny didn’t respond. He lowered the duvet and tugged at my curls before kissing my nose. He looked like he had a million things to say but didn’t know where to start. I traced his swollen lips and waited.
He sighed deeply then captured my hand and kissed it. “I want to say a bunch of things I don’t think you’d believe, but you should know I’m crazy about you. And I love what we just did. What you gave me. I never thought it could be this good.”
I nodded, feeling more overcome than ever. “It was amazing, but…why didn’t you tell me this was your first time? I thought you were a seasoned bi guy. We could have gone slower.”
“And wasted more time? No, thanks. The truth is, I never wanted to have anal with any guy before you. My gay experience is limited to hand jobs and blowjobs.”
“What about with girls?”
“If you’re asking if I’ve had sex with women, the answer is yes but even that’s been a while.” Danny gave me a funny look as though he wanted to say more but wasn’t sure he should. He traced the shell of my ear thoughtfully. “Was I too rough?”
“No. You were perfect. This is perfect.”
He nodded in agreement then kissed me again. “Still want that hot chocolate?”
I grinned. “Yeah.”
We made instant hot cocoa then curled up in the duvet we’d hijacked from Danny’s bed and snuggled together on the sofa. We sipped the chocolaty goodness, listened to music, and talked about everything and nothing at all. And perhaps because the holidays were approaching, the topic invariably returned to family.
“I know you’ll be here for Thanksgiving but, what about your family? They must miss you,” he commented idly as he twirled a lock of my hair around his finger.
“I doubt it. My family isn’t close like yours. We don’t have traditions and we don’t do things together. We haven’t since I was in my early teens. My parents weren’t as interested in us when we grew up. Kids were easier for them to understand and entertain but teenagers…not so much. Or maybe they were too caught up in their own problems. They divorced when I was twelve, and they weren’t the kind of people who worked together to put us first. They can’t deal with my gayness, my sister’s battle with depression, or my brother’s flakiness and constant money issues. We’re not fun anymore. We’re too real.
“So no…my family won’t miss me, but that’s okay. This is home now. The people here are my family. I have a place and a purpose. It’s not always smooth sailing. I’ve made mistakes here and some bad decisions, but real friends and real family don’t give up on you.”
“True. Is Wes one of your mistakes?” Danny asked nonchalantly.
“How did—? Geordie.” I sighed, answering my own question. “It was a long time ago. I don’t regret my time with Wes, but it wasn’t meant to last. I tried to force something that wasn’t there like it might solidify my place here. And I’m really embarrassed when I think about how I acted when Nick showed up. Fuck, I was so jealous. Like the way a kid is when someone else gets the gift they wanted for Christmas.”
“Nick seems cool around you. He’s obviously over it.”
“Maybe. But I think it’s more a matter of not sweating the small stuff for him. Nick’s a genius. I might have annoyed him, but he knew he didn’t have anything to worry about. Wes loves him. I’m happy for them, for sure but…I wish I could forget what an idiot I was.”
“Why don’t you just apologize and be done with it? He’s not holding a grudge, which makes you the only one stewing in old shit.”
“How eloquent.” I sniffed before biting his chin playfully. “Don’t worry, Danny. I’ve grown up. I don’t want Wes. I only want you.” I fluttered my eyelashes as though I was joking when in fact I was dead serious. There was no point freaking him out and potentially disturbing the peaceful ambience. So why did I have to fuck things up and keep talking? “What about you?”
“What about me?”
He missed his cue. Instead of declaring he only wanted me, he left me with no choice but to dig a hole for myself. “I meant, what about your ex-girlfriend? When did you break up?”
“Six months ago.”
“Oh.” I set my mug on the coffee table then sat back to draw the edges of the duvet around myself, feeling suddenly cold. “Are you still friends?”
“Yeah, we’re good friends actually. Cass is a tennis pro at the club. We met before the accident. I kinda figured she’d move on after it went down but she didn’t. And I was grateful. I needed a friend more than a lover then and she was there for me. I felt so alone. Broken. Defeated. I can’t explain it. I’d crushed my hopes and my parents’ and she understood what I was going through because she was part of that world. She suggested that I take a coaching job and maybe help run the club. I did it for a while but…the longer I stuck around, the more I wanted out. All the way out. I wanted a new career, a new place to live, new friends. A new life.
“She wanted to do the long distance thing and I tried, but I’m not good at it…or maybe I realized we’d become a habit. We want different things. She’s ready for marriage and kids and just like my folks, she’d love me to come home to settle down. But I don’t want that life. Not now.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. Fuck me. Why did I ask about his ex? Now I had a name and my mind was already conjuring a visual of a beautiful athletic woman who wanted to be the mother of his children.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“You,” Danny replied automatically. He curled himself around me, wrapping me in his arms and legs and squeezing me close. He backed up slightly to push my hair from my forehead and gaze deeply into my eyes. “I meant what I said. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. And tonight was—”
“It was sex.”
Danny glowered and grabbed my chin. “Don’t do that. I’m so inside your head, it isn’t funny. I know you love
d it as much as I did, and I know you want me the same way. Don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. This is special, Ryan. We both know it.”
I bit my lip, willing myself not to tear up. “But it’s temporary. You’re going to go back to school in January and—hell, you’re going home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. For all I know, your ex will change your mind again and you’ll stay in Colorado and join a club and be someone else’s husband and father to their kids and—”
“Oh, please.” His brow knit with a mixture of amusement and irritation. “You’re wrong. Maybe we haven’t known each other for a long time, but you should know better than that. I’m not that guy, Ryan. If we’re together, you’re it for me.”
“Are we together?”
“Yeah. We are.”
“And what about after the holidays?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Hey—” he held up his hand when he could tell I was going to argue. “One day at a time. Trust us, Ry. We’re gonna be fine. I promise.”
Chapter 6
Thanksgiving came and went quickly. On one hand, I was happy because it meant Danny would be back from visiting his family sooner, but it also heralded the full rush of the holiday season. The weeks leading up to Christmas went by notoriously fast. On top of the usual workday grind, there was shopping to do, trees to pick out, and a lot of decorating to do.
We put up an enormous twelve-foot Christmas tree in the lounge area of the tasting room every year. And on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, we decorated it. The second we closed for the evening, Geordie took over as lead elf, barking instructions about ornament placement and singing carols at the top of his lungs as he passed around spiked eggnog. It was a fun tradition. We wore Santa hats and corny holiday sweaters and danced around the tree to Christmas classics. The best part was that we all participated. Wes, Nick, Lauren, Geordie, and a few others from the vineyard staff…and this year, Danny. His flight arrived late that afternoon and though he wasn’t scheduled to work, he came by to help out. And to see me.