Lydia smiled and took his arm again. “I know Aidan. She is like a daughter to me. You know how happy I am for you both. Rhiannon is the perfect duchess. I couldn’t have chosen better myself. I am glad it isn’t one of those grasping debutantes only out for the title and fortune.”
Aidan laughed, “Honestly, I am glad too. She is so perfect for me. The best woman I could have ever found. She has made me so happy. I hope I can make her half as happy.” It was his biggest fear, but he had a feeling that she would love him no matter what. He wanted Rhia as his. In his life, his bed, his arms. Every single day until their lives were through.
Lydia patted his arm, “You will Aidan. Trust me on this love, you have already started making her happy. You should see her eyes when you walk in the room. They light up and so do yours. It’s wonderful to see from a mother’s eyes. The love you obviously have for each other. You are a wonderful man, and she will see just how wonderful as you get to know each other more.”
They walked slowly through the gardens, looking in every single hiding spot they knew of and finding a few that were a surprise to them. They also checked the surrounding area, finding a few couples out for a tryst, but not seeing Rhia anywhere. Aidan was starting to get anxious that she was nowhere to be found.
They checked the ballroom again, taking their time to look in every alcove and Lydia even suggested looking through the outlying rooms. Like the sitting room they had brought Rhia too, and the other rooms on the ground floor. They went down to the kitchens, out to the mews, everywhere. Aidan was a complete wreck by the time they made it to Rhia’s room. He knew she struggled to make it up the stairs and for her to make her way up them all alone was hell on his nerves.
He just wanted to hold her in his arms, and know that by this night was over, she would be his. His fiancé and soon to be wife. The thought made him smile and he hoped and prayed Rhia was in her room. He hated not knowing where she was. It made him anxious to find her. To see what made her leave. He had a feeling Katarina or Koryn had done something to Rhia, and that thought pushed Aidan up the stairs even faster.
She could have been overwhelmed by the crowd of people that had shown up, especially since she had never been to a ball before, but he wanted her to come back downstairs with him. Wanted to show all of London who he had chosen as his wife. He was beyond proud that she would be his, and he had the audience to show her off. And he would do just that. Aidan would take it slowly and bring her back to the ball where together they would dance again, and he knew it would be all right.
Aidan smiled as they reached Rhiannon’s room, knocking softly on the door. Nothing. So he knocked a little louder and called out, “Rhia? Sweetheart? Are you in there?” Nothing.
Worrying, he opened the door to her room revealing an empty room. Her ballgown laid out on the bed. His heart stopped beating and it felt like he stopped breathing.
Lydia swept in and saw her dress on the bed and gasped, her hand in front of her mouth. “Mother, I know you said what happened, but there must have been more to it. You said Koryn spilled her drink, but did Koryn say something to Rhia? Either she or Katarina did something to hurt Rhia. She wouldn’t just leave like this. Why is she not here?”
Lydia shook her head, “I don’t know. Yes, Koryn spilled her drink and it was upsetting that it almost ruined her beautiful dress. But Rhiannon didn’t even get mad. She just went to dry her gown off and come right back. She told me to stay in my seat since it wasn’t going to take her long. She never said anything that made me believe she would just leave. Never gave any indication that she wanted to go. I would have found you right away if that was the case Aidan. We must have missed her. She isn’t gone. Not truly?”
Aidan was looking around her room and noticed her wardrobe doors slightly open. Walking over to them, he opened them and immediately noticed that her old worn out dresses were gone.
“Mother, she is gone. Gone! She took all of her clothes and her other possessions and has left. What happened down there? I know that someone did something to her. Someone must have made her leave and you must not have seen it. FUCK!” He turned and punched the armoire. He needed to take a deep breath, but it felt like the air had been stolen from his lungs. She was gone. His entire world had crashed around him and he couldn’t breathe.
Aidan looked at his mother and she hadn’t flinched at his profanity. She had heard much worse in her life and she knew Aidan was upset with Rhia’s disappearance.
“I apologize mother. She is my entire life, and she is gone. What if I never find her again? I just want to know what happened? Why she left and where has she gone? I mean, what if she took a horse? Where will we look?”
He wanted to run his hands through his hair, but stopped himself. There were too many people downstairs for him to look so disheveled and it would start rumors flying he didn’t want or need.
He took a deep breath, “We need to find Katarina and see if she said something. Knowing her, she most likely did. I should have stopped this godforsaken ball the first time she was rude to Rhia. Goddamn it! I was too kind, didn’t listen to my gut when it said to stop all of this nonsense and that has come back to haunt me. If she has made Rhia run off, she won’t like the consequences. She has finally pushed me over the edge and I don’t care about the ball or her damn guests anymore. I want her out of here. Want nothing to do with her or her mother for as long as I live. You know how badly she wanted Rhia gone from the moment she knew Rhia was here. There has to be some connection.”
Lydia had her hand pressed to her stomach, like she was going to be sick, “I am worried sick about her as well Aidan. With her leg not being as strong as it was, she could be hurt somewhere. Or worse. Let’s get Cole and your sisters. They need to know.”
Aidan nodded, his stomach rolling. He had to swallow hard to keep from retching. He hated that his mother was probably right. She could be hurt somewhere and he didn’t know. His chest felt like someone had stabbed him. It was tight and once again; it was hard to breathe. Felt like he could never breathe again.
He rubbed it and turned away from Rhiannon’s room. His heart ached, and he hated that she had left. Just as she kept saying she wanted to, but he had thought he convinced her to stay. Thought they had become more to each other. Thought with all their kisses and touches, that she had fallen for him as much as he had for her. He hated this. The not knowing. He needed to know the answers to why she left, to everything, and he needed them now.
Back down in the ballroom, he had to look for quite a bit before he located Cole, who was standing off in a corner with his arms crossed over his chest.
Aidan pulled him aside, whispering to him that he needed him. Cole nodded and followed Aidan out of the ballroom.
They walked to Aidan’s study and after the door shut behind them Cole looked at him, “Aidan. What is wrong? You look like someone stabbed you. Are you all right?”
Aidan rubbed his chest again and cleared his throat. “No Cole, I am not. Rhiannon is gone. When you say it looks like I have been stabbed, well that’s how it feels.”
Cole looked at him sharply, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What? What do you mean she is gone?”
Aidan sighed and rubbed his forehead, “Just as I said, she is gone. Her ballgown is in her room upstairs and all of her belongings are gone. One moment she was sitting next to mother in the ballroom, fine as can be and the next she is gone. I left to get her a lemonade, and of course got stopped every few minutes by someone needing to speak with me. Katarina made me dance with her as well. When I came back, mother had said that Koryn had spilled her drink all over Rhia. Apparently Rhia went to clean it up, or so mother thought, but when I came to find her, she was gone.”
Cole shook his head, “But why? It doesn’t make any sense. I thought you two were in love, that she was going to stay with us, and that you were going to ask her to marry you?”
Aidan cursed softly, “I am. Damn it Cole, something must have upset her enough to make her leave. We
need to find Koryn and Katarina. They are not innocent in this I can feel it deep in my gut. I just know they did something to her. After I talk to those insufferable women, I am going to find the woman I love.”
Cole nodded, “I will talk to them Aidan. That is something I can do to help. You need to see if you can find any trace at all about her whereabouts. Ask Julia. She could know. I will join in the search as soon as I can.”
The girls came into his study and Aidan told them all about Rhia and Lily and Rose were both visibly upset. “We will find her Aidan. I know we will. We can’t lose hope. She is your light, your love. I know it. She is meant to be here, to be by your side. We will find her. There is no other option.” Lydia said and Aidan rubbed a hand down his face in frustration.
“Thank you, mother. She is my heart. But I won’t force her to be here if it makes her unhappy. When we find her, she and I will be having a long discussion. I am so worried about her.” He rubbed his chest again, even more hurt that she had left. Especially knowing she could barely walk down the hallway, let alone miles down a deserted road.
Cole stepped forward, “We have wasted enough time. I will speak to Katarina; you go find her. We can handle things here. Go Aidan. It is what you long for after all. You don’t need to be here for this.”
Aidan looked at his brother and nodded. “Thank you, Cole. I will go talk to Julia. I just hope she knows where Rhia went.”
They clasped hands in agreement and Aidan ran to his room to change. He needed to find her, and when he did, Aidan wasn’t waiting another moment to make her his.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Rhiannon
Northumberland, England Sept, 1812
Rhia made it to the village after a few hours of walking. She was exhausted and her leg hurt something fierce. But she hadn't fallen. Not once. She was grateful for that tiny mercy.
Her eyes felt puffy from her crying and she hurt inside. Making her way to the inn, she secured a room for the rest of the night and dropped into bed without even undressing.
She fell into a dreamless sleep, thankfully, and when the first light of day peeked in her room, she called for some warm water in a basin and cloths. She hadn’t the time for a full bath this day. She had to find someone who could take her to Scotland. Yes, the long way this time.
Soothing her leg with the warm cloths, she made a mental catalog of all her belongings. She had just enough money to make it to Scotland, hopefully find a job somewhere, and get to her grandmother’s small cottage.
After soothing her leg until the swelling receded a bit, she dressed in her shift and robe. Tired again from her long walk in the dark, and just an hour of sleep, she would try to sleep again before heading out to make her way to Scotland. If it came. She wanted nothing but to slip into the oblivion that sleep afforded, but it had been hard enough to get her mind to not constantly think of Aidan and Katarina that she had barely gotten the hour of sleep she had gotten.
Her heart lurched in her chest. She had cried the entire way to the village, her heart not just broken, but shattered into a million pieces. She had never cried like that, even when her mother had died. This was even more painful than that.
It hurt leaving Aidan, but she had been right to do so. She would not be used that way or humiliated like that. And no matter what her heart wanted; her head was the one in charge. She had to stay strong.
She wasn't going to dwell on the pain. Not right now. It was too much and she needed to let thoughts of him not plague her.
When she got to Scotland, she could face it and hopefully put it behind her. She knew it would take some time though. A very long time. He was the first and only man she had ever given her heart to, and this betrayal hurt so badly that Rhia could hardly breathe.
There was a knock at her door and she assumed it was the maid to wake her. She had asked them to do so after she arrived. She knew she didn’t want to stay here longer than was necessary. When she opened it, there stood the last person she expected to see, “Aidan.” She breathed. “What-what? How did you find me?”
Aidan looked angry, no; it was not just anger, it was frustration, hurt, pain, and a small flicker of relief.
Using his larger height and strength he pushed the door open over her head, causing her to quickly move out of his way. He entered her room and shut the door behind him. His back was to her, and she took a few steps away from him. Not certain why he was here. She heard the key turn in the lock, and she could see him take a deep breath before he looked at her. She backed away slowly as he turned to face her.
“You left. You just left me. Just left us. What were you thinking Rhia? I thought what we had was something important? Something wonderful, sensational and perfect? How could you leave like that and what we had? Leave everything we shared? Like it meant nothing to you, in the middle of the fucking ball no less?”
He stalked toward her as he spoke, and her back hit the wall as he stood in front of her. She flinched at his profanity. She heard him use it before, but this was different.
She had heard him be this angry before, but never directed at her. But, he had absolutely no reason to be upset with her. None. And yet he acted like he did. She on the other hand had multiple reasons and she would tell him so.
He brought his arms up on either side of her head, caging her in. His warmth surrounding her. She hated that her body loved feeling his strong one against her. “You have no right to come in here and be mad at me. Of course, I left Aidan. What did you expect me to do? Stay and listen to that? Listen to my whole world get ripped apart? It was horrible to hear such things. I wanted nothing to do with last night any longer. So, I left. I told you before I didn’t belong there, and I was right. More than right. Hearing all of those things, it was like someone had slapped me. Did you think I would want to stick around for your announcement? That I wanted to be there to hear it?”
His eyes clouded and his eyebrows drew together. “How did you hear about my announcement? I thought it was a well-kept secret? And listen to what Rhia? I don’t understand what you are saying.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Yes, a very well-kept secret. Not well enough though, since I heard about it. And it broke my heart. I wasn’t going to stand there to listen to it. I stayed too long there and I knew it would hurt me, but I stayed. And listened to you. Listened to your lies and your deception. Well, I left and now I refuse to listen to you any longer. I had to leave. To preserve some tiny part of my dignity.”
His eyebrows were still drawn together. “My lies? Rhia, what in the world are you talking about? I would have thought you would have been happy? I truly thought it was something you wanted. That it was something we would have loved?”
She snorted again and pushed on his chest, trying to make him move. To make him back away from her. His nearness was getting to her and she had to keep her distance. But it was like pushing a stone. He didn’t move an inch.
“Happy Aidan? Really? Happy was the last thing I was or am. That was never something I wanted. Not ever. I fought so hard to not feel anything for you, and silly me, I lost that battle. How dare you come here and throw this in my face! Using me like you did, making me believe your words, and kisses. Letting me be so improper with a man I had no business doing such a thing with. Expecting me to stick around and pretend like it is fine, and that I should be all right with being treated that way? I am not that kind of girl. Yes, I may have done quite a bit when we were in the stables, but I was in love with you. I loved you Aidan. I gave you my heart that day. And if I would have known about her, and all the things you two have done, I would have never even kissed you. Let alone do more. I will never be that woman.” She heard the heartbreak and hurt in her voice, but kept pushing on.
“I refuse to stay there and watch the man I love marry someone else. I won’t do it. I can’t. It is much too painful. Seeing you dance with your betrothed and knowing that you were meant for her all along broke something inside me Aidan. Hearing that you only wish for me t
o be there so I can be your mistress is something that will haunt me. I have no intentions of being your mistress. None. We may have done things before, but that was before everything changed. Before I realized you are exactly the same as the men you say you are nothing like. You put on a good show, but I will not be a part of it any longer. We cannot be, and I want you to leave. You coming here is making things worse. Please just leave me be.”
Aidan’s mouth dropped open in shock. “What in the hell Rhia? Who am I supposed to marry? I have no idea what you are talking about. I have never been betrothed or promised to anyone. And done what with whom? Who said I want you only as my mistress? This doesn’t make sense. I am nothing like the men of the ton. I told you this, and showed you why Rhia. I thought you understood that in the stables. Who told you these things?”
Rhia rolled her eyes and looked at the buttons on his waistcoat, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “Katarina.” Rhia hissed at him. “I heard her talking last night about your proposal and how you already got the family ring from your mother. How you went to her room, and you two had relations, and she could very well be with child. I don’t want to recollect everything she said. She told all those women last night along with other things that make me seem like I am your mistress. Or that I will be very shortly. I had to hear all of these things at the ball last night after your horrible aunt spilled her drink all over my dress. Hearing those intimate things about you, and knowing you may have gotten her pregnant,” Rhia shuddered and then continued, “I give congratulations to you both. And I wish you well. I would have been all right to just leave then, but hearing how you don’t actually care about me at all, that it was all an act and you were just going along with coming to my defense as part of the plan so that you could make me your mistress with me being pleased about it, well Aidan. Nicely done. You should have been an actor on the stage. You certainly had me convinced that I was more to you, and that she wasn’t anything. Nor would she be. Right now, I need you to leave. Please. I am only so strong.”
The Duke Who Loved Me Page 29