CHAPTER XXXV
NURSE ROSEMARY HAS HER REWARD
"Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, with patient insistence, "I reallydo want you to sit down, and give your mind to the tea-table. How canyou remember where each thing is placed, if you keep jumping up, andmoving your chair into different positions? And last time you poundedthe table to attract my attention, which was already anxiously fixedupon you, you nearly knocked over your own tea, and sent floods of mineinto the saucer. If you cannot behave better, I shall ask Margery for apinafore, and sit you up on a high chair!"
Garth stretched his legs in front of him, and his arms over his head;and lay back in his chair, laughing joyously.
"Then I should have to say: 'Please, Nurse, may I get down?' What acheeky little thing you are becoming! And you used to be quiteoppressively polite. I suppose you would answer: 'If you say your gracenicely, Master Garth, you may.' Do you know the story of 'Tommy, youshould say Your Grace'?"
"You have told it to me twice in the last forty-eight hours," saidNurse Rosemary, patiently.
"Oh, what a pity! I felt so like telling it now. If you had really beenthe sort of sympathetic person Sir Deryck described, you would havesaid: 'No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!'"
"No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!" said Nurse Rosemary.
"Too late! That sort of thing, to have any value should be spontaneous.It need not be true; but it MUST be spontaneous. But, talking of a highchair,--when you say those chaffy things in a voice like Jane's, andjust as Jane would have said them--oh, my wig!--Do you know, that isthe duchess's only original little swear. All the rest are quotations.And when she says: 'My wig!' we all try not to look at it. It isusually slightly awry. The toucan tweaks it. He is so very LOVING, dearbird!"
"Now hand me the buttered toast," said Nurse Rosemary; "and don't tellme any more naughty stories about the duchess. No! That is the thinbread-and-butter. I told you you would lose your bearings. The toast isin a warm plate on your right. Now let us make believe I am MissChampion, and hand it to me, as nicely as you will be handing it toher, this time to-morrow."
"It is easy to make believe you are Jane, with that voice," said Garth;"and yet--I don't know. I have never really associated you with her.One little sentence of old Rob's made all the difference to me. He saidyou had fluffy floss-silk sort of hair. No one could ever imagine Janewith fluffy floss-silk sort of hair! And I believe that one sentencesaved the situation. Otherwise, your voice would have driven me mad,those first days. As it was, I used to wonder sometimes if I couldpossibly bear it. You understand why, now; don't you? And yet, in away, it is NOT like hers. Hers is deeper; and she often speaks with adelicious kind of drawl, and uses heaps of slang; and you are such avery proper little person; and possess what the primers call 'perfectlycorrect diction.' What fun it would be to hear you and Jane talktogether! And yet--I don't know. I should be on thorns, all the time."
"Why?"
"I should be so awfully afraid lest you should not like one another.You see, YOU have really, in a way, been more to me than any one elsein the world; and SHE--well, she IS my world," said Garth, simply. "AndI should be so afraid lest she should not fully appreciate you; and youshould not quite understand her. She has a sort of way of standing andlooking people up and down, and, women hate it; especially prettyfluffy little women. They feel she spots all the things that come off."
"Nothing of mine comes off," murmured Nurse Rosemary, "excepting mypatient, when he will not stay on his chair."
"Once," continued Garth, with the gleeful enjoyment in his voice whichalways presaged a story in which Jane figured, "there was a fearfullysilly little woman staying at Overdene, when a lot of us were there. Wenever could make out why she was included in one of the duchess's 'bestparties,' except that the dear duchess vastly enjoyed taking her off,and telling stories about her; and we could not appreciate thecleverness of the impersonation, unless we had seen the original. Shewas rather pretty, in a fussy, curling-tongs, wax-doll sort of way; butshe never could let her appearance alone, or allow people to forget it.Almost every sentence she spoke, drew attention to it. We got very sickof it, and asked Jane to make her shut up. But Jane said: 'It doesn'thurt you, boys; and it pleases her. Let her be.' Jane was always extranice to people, if she suspected they were asked down in order to makesport for the duchess afterwards. Jane hated that sort of thing. Shecouldn't say much to her aunt; but we had to be very careful how weegged the duchess on, if Jane was within hearing. Well--one evening,after tea, a little group of us were waiting around the fire in thelower hall, to talk to Jane. It was Christmas time. The logs looked sojolly on the hearth. The red velvet curtains were drawn right across,covering the terrace door and the windows on either side. Tommy sat onhis perch, in the centre of the group, keeping a keen lookout forcigarette ends. Outside, the world was deep in snow; and that wonderfulsilence reigned; making the talk and laughter within all the more gayby contrast--you know, that PENETRATING silence; when trees, andfields, and paths, are covered a foot thick in soft sparklingwhiteness. I always look forward, just as eagerly, each winter to thefirst sight--ah, I forgot! ... Fancy never seeing snow again! ...Never mind. It is something to remember HAVING seen it; and I shallhear the wonderful snow-silence more clearly than ever. Perhaps beforeother people pull up the blinds, I shall be able to say: 'There's beena fall of snow in the night.' What was I telling you? Yes, I remember.About little Mrs. Fussy. Well--all the women had gone up to dress fordinner; excepting Jane, who never needed more than half an hour; andFussy, who was being sprightly, in a laboured way; and fancied herselfthe centre of attraction which kept us congregated in the hall. As amatter of fact, we were waiting to tell Jane some private news we hadjust heard about a young chap in the guards, who was in fearful hotwater for ragging. His colonel was an old friend of Jane's, and wethought she could put in a word, and improve matters for Billy. So Mrs.Fussy was very much de trop, and didn't know it. Jane was sitting withher back to all of us, her feet on the fender, and her skirt turned upover her knees. Oh, there was another one, underneath; a handsome silkthing, with rows of little frills,--which you would think should havegone on outside. But Jane's best things are never paraded; alwayshidden. I don't mean clothes, now; but her splendid self. Well--littleFussy was 'chatting'--she never talked--about herself and herconquests; quite unconscious that we all wished her at Jericho. Janewent on reading the evening paper; but she felt the atmosphere growingrestive. Presently--ah, but I must not tell you the rest. I have justremembered. Jane made us promise never to repeat it. She thought itdetrimental to the other woman. But we just had time for our confab;and Jane caught the evening post with the letter which got Billy offscot-free; and yet came down punctually to dinner, better dressed thanany of them. We felt it rather hard luck to have to promise; because wehad each counted on being the first to tell the story to the duchess.But, you know, you always have to do as Jane says."
"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know! I can't explain why. If you knew her, you would notneed to ask. Cake, Miss Gray?"
"Thank you. Right, this time."
"There! That is exactly as Jane would have said: 'Right, this time.' Isit not strange that after having for weeks thought your voice so likehers, to-morrow I shall be thinking her voice so like yours?"
"Oh, no, you will not," said Nurse Rosemary. "When she is with you, youwill have no thoughts for other people."
"Indeed, but I shall!" cried Garth. "And, dear little Rosemary, I shallmiss you, horribly. No one--not even she--can take your place. And, doyou know," he leaned forward, and a troubled look clouded the gladnessof his face, "I am beginning to feel anxious about it. She has not seenme since the accident. I am afraid it will give her a shock. Do youthink she will find me much changed?"
Jane looked at the sightless face turned so anxiously toward her. Sheremembered that morning in his room, when he thought himself alone withDr. Rob; and, leaving the shelter of the wall, sat up to speak, and shesaw his face for the first time. She reme
mbered turning to thefireplace, so that Dr. Rob should not see the tears raining down hercheeks. She looked again at Garth--now growing conscious, for the firsttime, of his disfigurement; and then, only for her sake--and an almostoverwhelming tenderness gripped her heart. She glanced at the clock.She could not hold out much longer.
"Is it very bad?" said Garth; and his voice shook.
"I cannot answer for another woman," replied Nurse Rosemary; "but Ishould think your face, just as it is, will always be her joy."
Garth flushed; pleased and relieved, but slightly surprised. There wasa quality in Nurse Rosemary's voice, for which he could not altogetheraccount.
"But then, she will not be accustomed to my blind ways," he continued."I am afraid I shall seem so helpless and so blundering. She has notbeen in Sightless Land, as you and I have been. She does not know allour plans of cords, and notches, and things. Ah, little Rosemary!Promise not to leave me to-morrow. I want Her--only God, knows how Iwant her; but I begin to be half afraid. It will be so wonderful, forthe great essentials; but, for the little every-day happenings, whichare so magnified by the darkness, oh, my kind unseen guide, how I shallneed you. At first, I thought it lucky you had settled to go, just whenshe is coming; but now, just because she is coming, I cannot let yougo. Having her will be wonderful beyond words; but it will not be thesame as having you."
Nurse Rosemary was receiving her reward, and she appeared to find itrather overwhelming.
As soon as she could speak, she said, gently: "Don't excite yourselfover it, Mr. Dalmain. Believe me, when you have been with her for fiveminutes, you will find it just the same as having me. And how do youknow she has not also been in Sightless Land? A nurse would do thatsort of thing, because she was very keen on her profession, and onmaking a success of her case. The woman who loves you would do it forlove of you."
"It would be like her," said Garth; and leaned back, a look of deepcontentment gathering on his face. "Oh, Jane! Jane! She is coming! Sheis coming!"
Nurse Rosemary looked at the clock.
"Yes; she is coming," she said; and though her voice was steady, herhands trembled. "And, as it is our last evening together under quitethe same circumstances as during all these weeks, will you agree to aplan of mine? I must go upstairs now, and do some packing, and make afew arrangements. But will you dress early? I will do the same; and ifyou could be down in the library by half-past six, we might have somemusic before dinner."
"Why certainly," said Garth. "It makes no difference to me at what timeI dress; and I am always ready for music. But, I say: I wish you werenot packing, Miss Gray."
"I am not exactly packing up," replied Nurse Rosemary. "I am packingthings away."
"It is all the same, if it means leaving. But you have promised not togo until she comes?"
"I will not go--until she comes."
"And you will tell her all the things she ought to know?"
"She shall know all I know, which could add to your comfort."
"And you will not leave me, until I am really--well, getting on allright?"
"I will never leave you, while you need me," said Nurse Rosemary. Andagain Garth detected that peculiar quality in her voice. He rose, andcame towards where he heard her to be standing.
"Do you know, you are no end of a brick," he said, with emotion. Thenhe held out both hands towards her. "Put your hands in mine just foronce, little Rosemary. I want to try to thank you."
There was a moment of hesitation. Two strong capable hands--strong andcapable, though, just then, they trembled--nearly went home to his; butwere withdrawn just in time. Jane's hour was not yet. This was NurseRosemary's moment of triumph and success. It should not be taken fromher.
"This evening," she said, softly, "after the music, we will--shakehands. Now be careful, sir. You are stranded. Wait. Here is thegarden-cord, just to your left. Take a little air on the terrace; andsing again the lovely song I heard under my window this morning. Andnow that you know what it is that is 'going to happen,' this exquisiteMay-Day evening will fill you with tender expectation. Good-bye,sir--for an hour."
"What has come to little Rosemary?" mused Garth, as he felt for hiscane, in its corner by the window. "We could not have gone onindefinitely quite as we have been, since she came in from thepost-office."
He walked on; a troubled look clouding his face: Suddenly it lifted,and he stood still, and laughed. "Duffer!" he said. "Oh, what aconceited duffer! She is thinking of her 'young man.' She is going tohim to-morrow; and her mind is full of him; just as mine is full ofJane. Dear, good, clever, little Rosemary! I hope he is worthy of her.No; that he cannot be. I hope he knows he is NOT worthy of her. That ismore to the point. I hope he will receive her as she expects. Somehow,I hate letting her go to him. Oh, hang the fellow!--as Tommy would say."
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