by Cora Reilly
“Ridiculous? Yes, it is. Did Cassio ask you to come on to me to see if I would bite?”
Elia ran his hand through his hair. I’d backed him into a corner. It was obvious that neither he nor Cassio had expected me to catch onto them. This made me even more furious than the fact that they’d tried this trick at all.
“I’m your bodyguard. I’m meant to protect you. You should talk to Cassio if you think I’m doing a bad job.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should go to the staff room now. I really don’t feel like being lied to at the moment.”
Elia inclined his head and left. He’d call Cassio the second he was in the back room. I leaned back against the headrest, closing my eyes briefly, feeling drained. My shirt stuck to my sweaty back. A hot snout nudged my arm. I opened my eyes to find Loulou on the couch beside me. Was she trying to console me? I’d read that dogs could pick up on human emotions, but I hadn’t expected Loulou to act on it.
She probably wasn’t allowed on the sofa, but I didn’t care if Cassio would approve or not. I patted my lap and she curled up there.
Daniele put down his tablet and approached me. He climbed on the sofa and sat beside me. His little legs didn’t even reach the edge. I smiled at him. His eyes conveyed questions that he didn’t voice.
“I’m fine, just tired. Loulou is trying to console me because she can feel that I’m tired.”
Daniele nodded slowly. I stroked his head carefully, seeing if he’d pull back, but he didn’t. I felt the knots at his back. I’d seen how he struggled when Sybil or Cassio tried to comb his hair. From the way it felt, I doubted combing would work. “Loulou looks cute with her short hair, right?”
Daniele gave a nod.
“Will you let me cut your hair a bit? Not much, just a bit, so Loulou doesn’t feel alone with her short hair?”
An even smaller nod was his response. I gently put Loulou down on the sofa and went to get the scissors. When I returned, Loulou was curled up on the sofa and Daniele was sitting very close, but he wasn’t touching her even though I could see that he wanted to.
“Can you sit on my lap while I cut your hair?”
Nod.
I lifted Daniele and positioned him on my knee as I sat down. I stroked his head gently before I began to cut the hair at the back of his head. He didn’t move, only looked at Loulou. I shortened the hair on the sides too, only left the hair on top as it was. “You look really cool now.”
Daniele remained seated on my leg, and I kept stroking his little head.
“I hope you’ll talk to me one day. I’d love to hear your voice. You can talk to me about everything. I can keep secrets if you need me to. Okay?”
He looked over his shoulder, really looked me in the eye, and in that moment, he seemed so much older than almost three. “Your dad loves you.”
Daniele looked away and slid off my leg. He sank down on the floor with his tablet once more.
Cassio wasn’t home in time for dinner. It was a little past eight when I settled in the comfortable armchair in front of the fireplace in the living room, reading one of my favorite books. I’d considered doing Pilates or finishing my recent painting, but then I hadn’t found the energy to do it. My phone lay on the small side table, hoping for a message from Cassio. Friends from school had messaged me, but I could already feel that our friendship wouldn’t survive the distance. We’d never been the close friends you shared your darkest secrets with anyway. Maybe I should send Cassio a text to ask when he’d be home, but even though I had his number, we hadn’t texted yet. I’d considered sending him a photo from the dog park, but never did it.
An idea crossed my mind. I got up and went over to the liquor cabinet to the left of the marble fireplace. It was filled with several bottles of scotch, gin, bourbon, and all kinds of other spirits I didn’t know the first thing about. Remembering Cassio’s words that I wasn’t supposed to drink, I picked the most expensive looking scotch bottle with a name I couldn’t even begin to pronounce: Laphroaig, a limited edition. I poured myself a generous amount and took it back to the chair with me. Settling back down, I took a whiff and coughed, surprised at the smoky aroma of the alcohol. I sipped at it then coughed even harder, tears springing into my eyes. “Oh God.”
Why would anyone drink this by choice? Maybe it was a man thing. After I’d composed myself, I took my phone, lifted the tumbler to my lips, smiled challengingly and took a selfie. I sent it off to Cassio.
Laphroaig is keeping me company while you work
He saw my message almost instantly. He didn’t reply.
Annoyed, I set the tumbler and my phone back down.
Fifteen minutes later, the front door opened and closed. Loulou, who’d been curled up in her basket, stormed into the lobby, followed by Cassio’s disapproving voice.
“Loulou!” I called, grabbing the tumbler and taking another bigger sip. Loulou trotted into the living room and curled up in her basket once more. I quickly tossed my legs over the armrest, so Cassio would see my over-the-knee socks he hated so much. Then Cassio appeared in the doorway, dark and imposing, looking every bit the deadly businessman he was. He scanned me from head to toe, lingering on the glass still pressed to my lips, my flowery overall dress, and the black socks.
His anger was quick, morphing his face into a mask of even sharper edges. Briefly, my stomach clenched with fear, with the knowledge that I didn’t know anything about Gaia’s death, but I didn’t allow this emotion to take over. Cassio hadn’t done anything to me. Still, when he shut the door, my adrenaline spiked. He prowled toward me, but I didn’t move and took another sip from the whisky. It burned a trail down my throat, and heat began to bloom in my belly—not only from the alcohol. Something about the primal disapproval in Cassio’s face awakened my body in ways I couldn’t use right now. We had to talk about Elia, and I wouldn’t let sex get in the way of it.
“I don’t have time for games, Giulia. Was that photo meant to provoke me?” He stopped right in front of the armchair, tall and foreboding. He looked breathtaking and terrifying.
“No,” I said lightly. “I only wanted to keep you updated on my evening activities, considering how eager you are to control every aspect of my life.”
He bent over me, his muscled arms braced on the armrests. The expensive fabric of his jacket brushed my calves, and the friction, albeit distant, sent a thrill through me. Maybe it was the alcohol that made me so sensible to Cassio’s aura. He oozed dominance and primal sexiness. His eyes slid over my crossed legs, lingering on the sliver of naked skin on my upper thighs. Then he cast his gaze up. I swallowed at the intensity of his expression, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to devour me or spank me. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Elia. Don’t tell me he didn’t call you today. I bet you expect status updates on his mission every hour.”
His strong palm had somehow found its way onto the small patch of naked skin between the hem of my skirt and my over-the-knee socks. I felt the touch between my legs, wanted his fingers to move higher, but I reined myself in. He took the glass from me and downed the whisky. “I told you I don’t want you to drink hard liquor.”
“Because I’m not old enough.”
Cassio set the glass down on the table, leaning even closer. “Giulia.” The word was a low growl, full of warning. I didn’t care. His hand slipped higher on my leg, under my skirt, and his lips crashed down on mine. For an instant my body arched toward him, eager for the touch, the kiss, and what it promised. But I wasn’t going to let Cassio distract me with angry sex no matter how desperately my body wanted him. I pushed against his chest, ripping my mouth away from his. “No. Stop.”
Cassio’s fingers brushed my panties, soaked from our argument. He groaned. “What are you doing to me?”
Me? What I was doing?
I pressed harder against him. “Cassio, stop.”
His eyes focused on me and his expression smoothed, becoming guarded and aloof. He straightened, robbing me of his war
mth, his touch, his scent. “We need to talk about Elia,” I got out.
Cassio stepped back and brushed out the crinkles in his jacket as if nothing had happened. “There’s nothing to talk about. You let your imagination run free.”
Anger coursed through me. I swung my legs down and pushed to my feet. Since he was more than a head taller, that didn’t really have the effect that I wanted. “Just how stupid do you take me for?”
Cassio raised his brows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I snorted, remembering Elia’s exact same words.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about Cassio, because the moment I confronted Elia, he called you.”
Cassio’s face remained a mask of stoic calmness, and it infuriated me even more.
“You’re being unreasonable and childish.”
Whenever I tried to talk to him or have him relinquish control, he accused me of being a child. But when he wanted to sleep with me, that fact didn’t cross his mind.
“As your wife, I deserve the truth. I don’t deserve being tricked and spied on. What was the purpose of this charade? Did you think I’d throw myself at the first attractive man who smiled at me?”
Cassio narrowed his eyes. “So, you find him attractive.”
I had enough. I walked up to him and glared up. “Are you serious?”
Cassio didn’t deign me with a reply. He unbuttoned his shirt with infuriating nonchalance.
“Look at me.”
He raised his head, but his eyes were hard. No sign of guilt. Did he think his actions were okay?
“I can’t believe you used Elia as a trap to see if I’d cheat on you. We’re married.”
“Marriage never stopped anyone.”
“Is that so?” I asked curiously, trying to figure out if he was referring to himself.
“I’d never cheat.”
“Oh, so I’m supposed to take your word on it, but you can use my bodyguard to test me? Don’t you realize how wrong that is?”
“I do what’s necessary.”
“Necessary? So, you admit that you ordered Elia to flirt with me to see how I’d react? You should trust me.” Hurt rang in my voice.
“I don’t trust anyone.”
My first impulse was to react with anger, with a snappy comment because this day had been hard and I didn’t have a shoulder to unload on, only a husband who treated me like a child and didn’t trust me. But my anger wouldn’t change anything. It would only lead to more resentment. “I don’t know what happened between Gaia and you. Maybe you worry I’m like her. I don’t know her so I can’t promise you I’m not. What I know is that if you don’t allow yourself to get to know me, you won’t ever trust me, and if you don’t trust me, then this marriage will fail either way.” I swallowed, turning away from his harsh expression. “Maybe you need more time. You obviously don’t want my closeness except for when we have sex. I won’t push you, but I’m not sure I can do this. Not right now. I’ll give you the room you need and move into the bedroom beside Simona’s nursery. That way you’ll have the bed for yourself.”
Giulia walked out of the living room. I was frozen, not because Giulia had caught onto Elia. No, because she wanted to move out of our bedroom. This time it was definitely my fault. I hadn’t fought Gaia when she’d insisted on her own room many years ago. I’d accepted it. I wouldn’t make the same mistake, not only because I feared a repeat performance. I wanted Giulia in my bed, close to me.
I chased her and caught up with her on the staircase. Cupping her elbow, I turned her around to me. She almost lost her balance and had to grab on to my shoulders to steady herself. Her eyes swam with tears. This was at least the third time I made my young wife cry. Marriage wasn’t the place for cruelty. That was what Father had said, and I’d been certain I wasn’t guilty of it. Yet cruelty came in different shapes and forms. Giulia had done nothing to deserve my suspicion, my coldness, and yet she’d been punished for another’s crime.
“I won’t let you move out of our bedroom, Giulia. You’ll stay.”
Giulia searched my face. “Why? You don’t even want to hold me at night.”
Fuck. The look of hurt in her eyes made me long for those whips again. “Stay.” I cupped her cheek. She leaned into the touch. I brushed her cheekbone.
“Why?”
“Because I tell you to.”
She shook her head. “Give me another reason.”
“Because I want you close. Because I liked falling asleep with your strawberry scent at night.”
Her mouth twitched. “Strawberry scent?”
I bent down, pressing my face into the delicious spot where her throat met her shoulder, soaking in that sweet aroma before pressing a kiss to her skin. “Like a goddamn strawberry field. I don’t even like strawberries.”
She giggled, twitching under my mouth. “Who doesn’t like strawberries?”
“Me. They are false packaging. They promise sweetness, but most of the time they are sour and watery.”
Giulia tried to squirm away from my lips that I ran over her throat, relishing in her choked laughs. “Cassio, that’s tickling.”
I lifted my head.
Her eyes lit up with amusement, and just looking at her unguarded joy dispersed some of the heaviness from my soul.
“Nobody can resist a sweet strawberry.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I can see that.”
Giulia shook her head. “I can’t smell like strawberry. My shampoo is cherry.”
I chuckled. “It’s strawberry for me.”
“Sure. If you order the cherry to be a strawberry, that’s what it’ll be.”
I shut her up with a kiss, not the harsh ones beckoned by anger. A gentle kiss. She kept her eyes open, not letting me off the hook. “You want me close at night?”
“I do.”
“Okay.” No mind games, just a simple okay.
I lifted her into my arms and carried her upstairs.
“Cassio…”
“Shhh… we’ll talk afterward.” She didn’t argue. The moment I laid her down on the bed, she molded her body to mine. Would I ever tire of her scent and taste?
She was sprawled out on top of me afterward, my hands splayed out on her firm ass. Her bangs stuck to her sweaty forehead. “Now we talk,” she said when I hadn’t even caught my breath.
“Giulia—”
“You promised,” she said, and her eyes stopped any protest I might have had.
“I did.” She waited. For an admittance, for my plea of guilt. “You are right. I asked Elia to test your loyalty.”
Giulia pushed into a sitting position, straddling my stomach. I loved that she wasn’t shy about her body, and I loved admiring her. Her expression made it clear that she wasn’t trying to go for another round. She wanted the higher position to feel more in control. I’d give it to her. I grasped her hips, needing to touch her.
“Test my loyalty? You told another man to come on to me to see if I was willing to cheat.”
Bitterness twisted my thoughts. “I don’t trust anyone, not just you.”
“I’m your wife, Cassio. We have to trust each other. I don’t want us to be strangers living under one roof. I want this marriage to work, not just for us but for Simona and Daniele too. They need a happy family.”
“Happy family,” I repeated. My children had never experienced a happy family. For a while, Gaia and I had managed to hide our resentment for each other, but in the last couple of years, things had turned for the worst.
“I want that,” she whispered fiercely, lowering herself until her face hovered over mine.
“So do I,” I said. But I was a realist, and in a few years, Giulia would be too.
“But you don’t believe in it.”
Looking up into Giulia’s hopeful, kind face, I really wanted a happy family. “It’s not a matter of belief.”
“It is. If you don’t believe in it, if you don’t work for it, then it won’t become reality.”
I smiled wistfully, wondering if I’d ever been this optimistic.
“Don’t blame this on me being young,” she warned, eyes flashing with annoyance. “Being positive is not a trait of the young. You are being a grumpy old man by choice.”
A laugh burst out of me. Giulia smiled. Then she became unguardedly hopeful. “Cassio, I want to be happy. I want us all to be happy.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked without thinking. Giulia was young. I wouldn’t be responsible for her unhappiness, at least not on purpose. I wasn’t really sure if I had a choice in the matter. With Gaia, I’d thought I’d done everything I could to make her happy. In hindsight, it hadn’t been enough, but I was up against an impossible challenge.
“Allow yourself to trust me.”
I ran my palm up her back along the gentle bumps of her spine before cupping her head, pulling her down for a kiss. “I’ll try.”
“You could start by telling me what happened with Gaia, and why Daniele acts the way he does.”
I shook my head. “That is the past, and it’s got nothing to do with us.”
Giulia smiled sadly. She knew as well as I did that it had everything to do with us, but the past with Gaia wasn’t something I’d share with her. It wouldn’t serve any purpose but to destroy whatever tentative bond that was forming between Giulia and me. She was young. Maybe that was why I was willing to try at all. I didn’t want to be the one to destroy her loveliness.
“Okay.” It wasn’t. Giulia’s body language made that clear.
“What else?”
“Spend time with the kids and me. Family time. Be home for dinner, be home on Sunday. I want to get to know you, what you like to do in your free time, what you enjoy doing.”
I tried to remember the last time I’d done something I enjoyed doing that didn’t involve my line of work. I couldn’t.
“Don’t tell me there’s nothing you like to do except work. There must be something else you enjoy besides torture and killing.”
So uninhibited with her words. It was a breath of fresh air. I hummed, cupping her head harder. “I’m good at both.”