by Paul Hina
moves into motion while my
shadow contradicts itself by falling
through a man that has forgotten how to
be alone gracefully in this black and white
world with no hands to echo its laughter
51
her shape becomes finely tuned to my tired eyes
reaching with great thrusting swims trying to catch
her soft glistening gaze in this enormous steam
that teases me by hiding her curves in a curious
smile behind that private curtain of a dancer
standing still with definitely grace
anticipation
i can't imagine any sound better suited for these
ears than that shower bouncing ceramic rain to
clean us as intertwined as we are twisting legs
in search of the perfect spot to fall into one
another where hands could preserve flesh in shadow
with the heat from heads forgetting all other world
to touch the top of the moon with four lips disappearing
with a swallow that spins all the way down the drain
casting no more shadow
52
i can't seem to recover from the realization
that my thoughts of you have dwindled to the
places inside me i can't find anymore
how many more pieces of you will i lose if
your presence is empty in every part of my
senses losing the beauty only you can supply
them even in shutting me out
so many memories i have explored to death
with dirty smudges splotching blurry fades
of paints without color rubbing away any image
of emotion which was the capacity of any relapse
into you
but like a drunk sifting his empty pockets for
change maybe in one hole of myself i can conjure
the layers of where you left me tired and flimsy
to place a picture of you permanently across my
mind representing my blindness to the rest of the
world finally seeing me smile
53
it is going with the rush of running
feet through the empty canvas that
dries the lungs when a lip stops right
on the place where your tongue meets
your teeth
it will flow all the way down your
throat just sliding on the texture of
a glass ball looking for one more
look into your whole heart where once
blood flowed into worlds making life
live truly in the color of pure blue
you lying like paint all over the
sky my eye saw through
and when it reaches wherever love goes
when it has been swallowed by something
so unclear that it tends to fade into
nothing really ever happening it'll
rest happily inside of you knowing its
safety to be within the place truth was
first found and will always be defined
in each sweet shapely utterance of air
that runs out burst and breathe
54
i had no escape when that truth
in all her flowing misery confronted
me with her laughing face pouring
forth the answer to my everyday
question about how i might get to
hold you once more tighter
these ears of mine brutally aware
of the present attack upon them
screamed murder direct to my gut
allowing its contents to fly into
an upheaval as force plays in my
perched body an inevitable motion
settling slow as her eyes open into
the focus of a place real bad
so it did hit me suddenly that
this hidden hand pumping life into
my hope came curiously close to peeking
into this undiscovered country of
random flyings and fallings
but as quiet as life bleeds that
hand only falls until someone grab
touches that awareness bird by its
thumbs with the truth of flying even
on the fall
55
your life light shines brighter as i
grow further from all the windows your
home gave me to look through clearly
not looking into anymore you
the fog has fallen around the already
small star that you always guide me
with never stealing that luster that
your smile always causes in my skin
(a shimmer within the water we used to
hear in our silent language of
comfortable wonderful)
as the places around me begin to show
themselves to my squinting eyes trying
to only see that light you shine there
comes a darkness like a knock to clear
out the sensation of chasing the perfections
of your bright white reflections
and the world comes on to walk in the
lonely around me
56
sleep i can't find you again
in this night where i wish
a little reason would tell
me why i should keep looking
at the darkness to find you
it is so alone in this place
looking for rest wondering if
i was too greedy with the dreams
last night making me believe in
magic
so i hope the day is refreshed
and different then maybe i'll
have a reason to want sleep
facing a closer proximity to
wishes in a dream that shimmers
inside these ragged whispering
eyes
57
in the great turmoil of this room
where i sit sketching letters to
construct pictures of the art you
are is a silence standing naked
before me in the heat of this alone
the words being drawn create thoughts
maybe had by you in those lovely
limbs that my pen pushes into
movement waking you into the torment
we will share when i have nothing more
to give you
and when you grow soon with hands
touching beyond my words looking into
my eyes seeing through the contrived
shiver in the passion we never had
you will experience birth like a
kiss slow and anxious
58
something so tired as your eyes pulls my
disheveled hair all the way around your
fingers so red in their pulsing way of
touching in rhythm my sleep which is
ruined by every aware that wakes me
a place so comfortable as your hands is
nowhere for shame to find me when your
protection perfectly glides me silently into
eternity with the slightest sway of fingers
losing my mind
the bed we have made tonight with candy
clothes makes every layer of child inside
of us play red faces with each other as
if every kiss were the first
and the night is distantly moving, quietly,
precisely into a box of stillness that we
can carry always with us wrapped in the
ribbon of our intertwined fingers resting
anxiously waiting to open the new dream
that has been closed always inside like fate
were a whispering thing
59
there are countless twisted turns when i
measure the
mayhem from perfection to
obscurity
and the wind sings storms in that
crazy inner listen where the great ears of
classic pitch perfect memory shatter sounds
together like glass snow reflecting a
remembering
maybe you wish for her gracious memory to
visit this hope where worlds stray like hanging
stars swinging for a little wisdom to smile
warmth from the sun to show these helplessly
pathetic planets how to retrieve some grains
of clean white sleep that once fell from the
love we made
and there is never any dreaming sound as
deep as thunder to lie me down sleeping in
the eloquent waters that once trickled on
our soft flesh covered bones where warmth
was like sweet hearts together talking in a
rhythmic sadness that hummed sleepily in
worlds where sleep was never uncovered
from the rested broken rain
60
hunger covers me in the sweet cold
blasted of your yesterday water
feeding me in your eyes
in the heaven that you are there
should never be a tear that hides
itself so tired in those brown
restrained cries from the fingers
of my praying hands
the hurt crouched in the tones of
your laughter breathes bones of
bodies without life leaving behind
nothing funny in the crash your
throat makes when suddenly sounds
crack to stop you before you break
when your arms quiet the shining
sound around us one more december
flies into our kiss freezing the
snow on your lips as you feed no
more spring to drink the rain that
falls inside you when those eyes
shut down another trapped beautiful
all over me
61
how can i translate such near
perfect dimensions that hang
elusive all around me spinning
eternally rotating language
failing even a simply closer
attempt at naming the wealth
your being(whom words can not
know) sprays with a lovingly
taste that crawls my flesh to
need not eyes touching a knowledge
when our mouths swing into
gravity's tight winding crease
of our touch speaking exhales
but in this vehicle where social
arrangement performs a blind method
placing of together people drunk
in small breaths of being tied
maybe forever united stands us
waist deep in music that hovers
above any tradition ever standing
tangled in our toes
so positions have been proposed in
sleep where kisses know no lips
such as the corners of yours folding
sound in eloquent unison throughout
my throat placing a silence on the
name for this space between your
hand and mine chiming