by CY Jones
“That’s what he gave me. If there’s a mixup, take it up with him. Now get the fuck out my office.”
“Watch it,” I narrow my eyes before leaving.
The parking lot is behind the building. I don’t even have to hit the alarm button to figure out which car it is because, parked right in the middle, is a brand new, dark blue Toyota. Pressing the unlock button, the car beeps and the lights flash. What the hell do those two think they’re up to? Flinging the door open, I get in and notice the note on the passenger seat.
Jade,
Your old car couldn’t be saved. It would cost more to fix it than it’s worth, so I took it to the junk yard where it belongs. This car is yours, free and clear. The title is in your name. I got your information from your old landlord, as well as paid off your debt to him. I’m sorry for slamming you against the wall, but I’m not sorry for my words. I meant what I said. I love my wife and will do anything she asks. What you do next is your decision. Do not feel like you’re obligated to us because of the car or the money I paid to your landlord. The car is yours if you decide to be our surrogate or not. There's a standing reservation at the W Hotel in upper Manhattan in your name. If you choose to take it, Nichole and I will know you agreed to her terms. I say her terms because this crazy idea is all her. She has not said more than two words to me this week and she’s been very worried about you. I’m not sure if you need them, but inside the trunk are clothes and some other random things Nichole bought for you. Nichole is a remarkable woman and I trust her judgement. She chose you, so I have no choice but to be happy with her decision. If we don’t hear from you by the end of the month, then we know you’ve made your choice and we’ll respect that. Choose wisely because there’s no going back once you make your decision.
Grayson
The paper Hottie McHottie used was the fancy kind printed with his firm’s insignia, two lions holding a shield, as well as his work and cell numbers. Garfield Lewis & Hastings. Hmm, I didn’t know he was a partner. No wonder he can just give away new cars like Oprah and book expensive hotels for strangers. Popping the trunk, I get out and check out what’s inside. I’m surprised to see that the whole trunk was filled with bags of designer clothes, shoes, and other items. Wow, fancy thread sheets and a Ralph Lauren comforter. Do these people do anything half-ass? I’m also surprised to see the clothing choices are edgy and more my taste and not Nichole's, like she really did have me in mind when she bought them. And the shoes, the shoes were droolworthy.
“Moving up in the world, huh, kid?” John says walking over.
“Just some rich couple who wants to adopt me,” I tease.
“I seen the guy when he was in Billy’s office. You sure they aren’t into some freaky shit?”
Laughing, I reply, "I asked them the same thing.” I wonder what John would think if I told him what they really wanted.
Suddenly he turns serious. “Are you okay, kid? You look like hell.”
“It’s been a rough couple of days,” I answer honestly. There’s no point in lying. John would know.
“Whatever they’re offering, maybe you should take it. It’s better than living on the streets with no food in your belly.” Of course he knew that too. John is like my grandpa from another mother. He’s the main reason why Billy let me slide on the rent as long as he did.
“Don’t worry about me, John. You know I can take care of myself.” Giving me a hug, he wishes me well. This will probably be the last time I see him. We both know I’m not coming back here.
Looks like the good couple left me with a full tank of gas, so I drive around, pondering my options. I could sell the car. It’s brand new and will fetch a pretty penny. Not to mention all the designer shit in the truck, but without a job, how long would all that last here? Rent is high as hell, even in shitty areas like my old apartment building. With just a high school diploma, any reasonable job is out of my reach. I’m tired of working my ass off for minimum wage. That’s why I don’t last long at jobs. My longest work experience was seven months, and I only lasted that long because I was fucking the manager. You can get away with a lot of shit when you’re blowing your boss on your lunch break. What? He was cute. It was when he wanted a relationship that things started to get complicated. I think what I saw with my parents is why I have a relationship phobia. I’m not my mama. I can’t give my heart to someone and have them crush it, like my daddy did to her. Look at her now. She has always been a beautiful woman. The prettiest in the town until Daddy left, and she gradually stopped taking care of herself until most days, she wouldn’t even get out of bed. I watched her grow into a shell of her former self. I can’t be like her and lose my heart as well as my mind.
Then I think about Nichole’s offer. She’s offering stability. As soon as I pop the kid out, they’ll pay me well. Sure I don’t know how much, but judging by what they have done so far, they’re very generous. I could use that money and rebuild somewhere else. Move away to another state and start over. I won’t have to sell the car and be without transportation, plus with them taking care of my needs while I’m pregnant, that’s even more income coming in. I need a sign. I’m so confused. Everything seems so laid out and simple but it isn’t their offer or even Nichole that I’m worried about, it’s Grayson. He gets to me more than any man has ever had. I fear if I were to grow close to him, I won’t be able to survive. He isn’t mine to claim, but something in me, something stupid, wants to find a loophole. I don’t know. For once in my life, I don’t know what to do.
I feel like Grayson’s letter is burning a hole in my back pocket and burning my ass. He isn’t flat out turning me down anymore, but it doesn’t seem like he was happy either, more resigned than anything. Briefly I wonder what it is like to love someone so much. Call me stubborn, but I don’t come to a decision until another week later.
I never thought I'd ever see the inside of the W Hotel. I definitely never imagined I’d be a guest. True to his word, as soon as I gave my name to the front desk, they had a room ready and waiting for me. Sitting down hard, I bounce on the king-size bed, basking in the fluffiness as I take in the room. They must be going for a modern aspect. The black and white room was all slick lines with pops of red here and there for an artistic effect. I felt like I was in a painting, the tangible in an intangible world.
The phone beside the bed rings and I pick it up, confused. “Hello,” I say into the line.
“Jade, I hope you settled in well,” Nichole says on the other line.
“Yeah, this is a really nice room. You know you could have put me up in a Holiday Inn and I wouldn’t have minded,” I reply honestly.
“Nonsense. I love the W. They have some really nice amenities. Speaking of which, I was wondering if you want to have lunch with me at the restaurant in the lobby. I think it’ll be better to go through the paperwork in a more laid back setting.”
“Sure, will it just be you?” I inquire.
“Sadly, yes. Grayson is in court all day, handling a big case. I did tell him you were at the hotel.”
“I bet he was pleased to hear that. I’m sure he was hoping I'd take the car and drive far away.”
She doesn’t deny it, and I hate it when I feel a tiny pang of hurt knowing I’m right.
“Grayson isn’t the easiest man to win over. He’s proud and loyal. Asking him to break his vows to me goes against everything that makes him, him, so I wouldn’t take it personally. It’s me he’s really mad at, but he won’t take it out on me and instead, is taking it out on you.”
“Hey, no need to explain anything to me. Truthfully, I agree with him and think you’re a couple of nuts short of the perfect Snickers bar.”
She laughs before telling me, “I’ll see you in about an hour.”
“See you then,” I reply before hanging up.
I meet Nichole in one of the outfits she bought. A nice blouse and skinny jeans with a pair of bright yellow heels. After a long hot shower where I washed my hair like three times, I dry it with the hai
r dryer provided and let it flow down to my shoulders. Using the sink every morning in the bus stop bathroom made a girl appreciate the simple things in life, like bathtubs and showers.
I’m standing out in the lobby and as soon as Nichole sees me, she gives me a bright smile. “You look nice,” Nichole says, greeting me.
“Thanks, so do you.” Nichole could wear a potato sack and still look hot. It’s her big blue eyes and model thin body. I’m only thin because I can’t afford food and often miss meals, and I think my boobs are way too big, but I got them from my mama.
“I hope you’re settling in well. With you no longer having a home, Grayson and I thought it would be best to keep you here until you, you know,” she cuts off blushing.
“Until I get knocked up,” I supply for her.
“Yes, that.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered you chose me. But how can you be so calm about basically pimping your husband out? If I were at your stage in life, I’d cut a bitch just for looking at my man. Is a baby really worth it?”
“I love the colorful way you explain things. You truly have an art for words, but to answer your question, yes, it’s worth it. Until you go through the pain of chemo or standing by while they cut away the parts that make you a woman, you couldn’t possibly understand. I had no choice when the cancer took over my body, but I have a choice of how I want my child brought into the world. I know it sounds crazy, and it’s unconventional, but I want my child to enter this world the way it’s intended. Conceived by a man and a woman naturally. Sure it hurts I can’t be that woman, but at least Grayson can still be part of the process without the basting as you so colorfully told me.”
Wow, this lady is a saint. She’s literally lending me her husband, but she’s getting something out of it as well. So, who am I to judge?
The rest of lunch she goes over the contract with me. It’s mostly everything she explained in the car weeks ago. Grayson will come to me two nights a week until I’m pregnant. Then they will move me into some sleek brownstone in upper Manhattan not far from them. They’ve already made me a gym membership and set me up with a personal trainer, who I’ll start seeing next week. Once I meet him or her, we’ll come up with a workout regimen and they’ll let me know how many days a week I’ll need to come by. While I’m staying at the W, all my meals are covered as well as my room and any amenities I decide to use. I just have to charge it to the room. Once I’m pregnant, they will pay me a stipend of two thousand a month as well as take care of my rent and living expenses. Weekly dinner is still on the table, and it’s mandatory for us all. I’m not allowed to start a relationship or have any sexual intercourse, casual or serious, with anyone, nor can I drink or take any drugs unless they’re prescribed by a doctor.
Everything seemed so detailed and I’m not going to lie, I skipped past a lot of it because of the boring legal jargon. Don’t act like you’ve never done the same. Halfway through, I give up on reading all together and skip to the last page and sign my name. I could have agreed to give away all my vital organs as well as my kid for all I know.
“Hey, I hope I’m not late,” a mousey brown haired lady says walking up. She looks all no nonsense in her perfectly fitted blouse and skirt combo.
“No Ash, you’re right on time,” Nichole answers the polished woman before sliding the papers I just signed over to her.
In quick, practiced movements, the women takes the contract and pulls out her stamp with the state’s seal from her purse. Like Nicole, she must be a lawyer so she’s a licensed notary. Right before my eyes, the contract is legit, just needing to be filed with the court and signed by the judge. Once done, she leaves just as quickly as she came with a quick goodbye to Nichole.
“I’ll have the other papers drawn up closer to the baby’s due date,” Nicole says, gathering my attention again. I didn’t think about another contract being done. The one where I give my baby away. I can start over and Nichole and Grayson can start their family.
After lunch, I walk Nichole to the front of the hotel. Before leaving, she insisted I spend the rest of the day in the hotel’s spa. I declined because well, that uppity shit isn’t for me. Instead, I went back to my room to take a nap. I was exhausted. All those nights being wary of my surroundings and barely getting enough sleep has finally caught up to me. As soon as I laid my head down on the fluffy softness of my bed, I was out like a light.
Grayson
“She’s taken us up on our offer and is at the hotel,” Nichole says into the phone.
A week has passed since I dropped off the car at her old apartment building. I really thought she bailed when we didn’t hear from her right away. I’m not ashamed to admit I hoped she’d disappeared like a thief in the night. She has no ties here, no family, no boyfriend, nothing. She could have just left.
“Are you going to say something? Nichole prods.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask.
“I want to know what you think about that,” she says, exasperated.
“Why? You already know how I feel about all this and you still don’t care. Do you want me to tell you I wish Jade would have taken the car and ran? Does it even matter to you that I hate what you’re asking me to do? No. What I’m feeling doesn’t matter,” I yell into the phone. I’m breathing hard now from how worked up I am. This is the first time I’ve actually openly expressed how much I hate her for making me do this.
“Finally,” she replies, confusing me.
“What?” I ask, confused.
“You’ve been keeping your feelings bottled up inside and I’ve been waiting for you to finally open up. I know you’re not happy with all this. And it’s not like I don’t care, it’s just my belief of not putting anyone else through what I went through, and before you say it’s not the same, it is. Modern technology in the medical field may be a marvelous thing, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. Science is what cuts away at our humanity. I refuse to cook our baby in a lab or have someone prodded and worked over just to bring a child of our own into the world.”
“What about me? I married you, Nichole. I made vows, promises in front of God, our friends, and family. I’ve already proven myself through the sickness and health part. Now you’re asking me to not forsake others. To set my sights on Jade and conceive a child from sin. How can I look at that baby and not be reminded of what I did to give it life?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could put your mind at ease, but I can’t. All I can tell you is that everything happens for a reason. Trust me when I say something greater will come out of all this. This is our test in life and I’m hoping we’ll overcome it.”
“What does all that even mean, Nichole? Why do I feel like there’s more to this than you’re telling me?”
“I’ve told you what I want, Grayson. Why can't you be happy with that?”
I was tired of arguing over this. We were both starting to sound like a broken record, and her stand on this was clear. I might as well throw in the towel because she wasn’t letting this go. Sighing hard, I tell her, “Look, I need to go. I have to be in court in less than thirty minutes.”
“Wait! When do you plan on visiting Jade?” she asks before I can hang up.
“Not now, Nichole. Give me some time. I need to wrap my mind around all of this shit before I can do anything.”
“Okay, just don’t take too long. Time is short. I should know,” she says softly.
I don’t reply. I hang up feeling like I want to beat my head into the wall. Fucking Jade. Why couldn’t she just leave? But if not her, Nichole would have found someone else. I’m in a bad mood when I get to the courthouse, and I stay that way for the rest of the day. The poor scumbag’s lawyers I was arguing against didn’t stand a chance. I was balls to the wall, merciless. Nichole thinks I’ve told her everything I was holding in but she’s wrong. There’s far more I'd like to tell her but I can’t. I’d never hurt her like that, even though she’s hurting me.
“Great day, boss. I believe you
have that drug case in the bag,” Joey, the junior associate assigned to me, says as he walks in my office and sets tomorrow’s case files on my desk.
“Hope so. It’s clear the asshole is guilty.”
“The way you argued the case today, I don’t see him getting out anytime soon. Hell, I think his lawyer may have pissed his pants.” I don’t laugh. I’m not in the mood. I’m still storing a lot of anger deep inside. Seeing that I’m not in the mood for idle chitchat, Joey clears his throat uncomfortably before asking, “Do you need anything else?”
“No, I’m good. If Jack doesn’t need anything, you can call it in for the day.”
As soon as he leaves, shutting the door behind him, I lower my head and run my hands through my thick hair. It’s after five, but as of now, I have no interest in going home. This has to be the first time that has ever happened. I’ve always been excited to see my wife after work, but I can’t dig up the enthusiasm. Not when, as soon as I hit the door, I know Nichole will bug me about Jade. I’m sure she had the girl sign the contracts by now. She had them drawn up a week ago, right after meeting Jade, with full faith that she would return. When I signed them, I did it to appease her, hoping they wouldn’t be needed.
In my drawer, I pull out the bourbon I have stashed there for when I win big cases. I’m well known in the legal world for being ruthless in the courtroom. Besides my wife, defense attorneys shake in their leather loafers or heels when they learn they’ll be arguing against me. I’m the youngest lawyer to ever make partner here who isn’t a next generation heir. I’ve fought my way up the chain, and I’ve kept my spot because you can’t bullshit me. I always find the lie and then I exploit, turning it against you until I’ve proven my point and won my case. Nichole is hiding something from me, but I don’t know what. She’s the only one who has ever beaten me at my own game, and right now, she’s fighting a battle while making up the rules as she goes.