by C. Hallman
Copyright © 2020 by C. Hallman
Editing: Kelly Allenby
Cover: Opulent Designs
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
To Josi,
My best friend, partner in crime,
writing soulmate and imaginary wife.
I like you even when you forget shit.
Love Always,
Cassy
PS: If you put ranch on it, it’s a salad.
Penny
I used to think that I was better than him. I thrived at a private school for gifted children, and he barely made it through the public school system. I was smarter, and I didn’t miss an opportunity to let him know it. Then, I told a lie to get him in trouble and out of my way.
Turns out, karma is a bitch.
Five years later, my once oh so promising life is nothing more than a fading memory. I’ve hit rock bottom. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, fate has one more cruel twist in store for me.
Ryder
I hated her from the moment we met. My hate has only grown over the years. I lost everything because of her, went to jail and became the man I am today.
So, when she shows up at my club, unable to repay her debt, I can’t believe my luck. She owes me more than the five grand, and I’m going to enjoy making her pay.
1
Penny
My arm hurts where the guy three times my size, holds on to it. His fingers digging into my skin so harshly that I am sure I’ll be left with a beautiful array of blue and purple bruises. My legs can barely keep up with his pace as he drags me inside the loud biker bar.
Rock music blares through the speakers, making the inside of my ears vibrate. It’s dark, and the air is thick with smoke that makes my throat itch. It’s crowded, and all eyes are on me as the guy brings me to the back of the large room.
With my skinny jeans, white sneakers, and a pink sweater, I stick out like a sore thumb. Slung around my shoulder is a purple backpack that holds everything I own.
Most people here are men dressed in black, wearing heavy boots and a wicked expression on their faces. Every guy I see has their arms and necks covered in tattoos, some I find pretty, but most are appalling and offensive. Just like you would expect a bunch of bikers to look like.
There are a handful of women here; all of them are half-naked or completely naked. We pass a girl on her knees, sucking off a guy like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Two more girls are dancing naked on a table with guys groping their bodies. I try to look away, but it’s just impossible to ignore it. The music is not as loud back here, but the guy beside me still has to raise his voice.
“Boss, I found the bitch who owes you that money.”
A scary-looking man sitting at the table raises his head to look up at me, his expression showing only a vague interest in my presence. He is wearing a black T-shirt under a black leather vest that’s decorated with a bunch of patches. One patch reads The Iron Sights. Almost every person in here has one of those on their vests and jackets.
Peeking out from under his clothes are tattoos and scars. The most noticeable scar is the one on his face. Running from his eyebrow down to his cheek. His eyes immediately roam up and down my body, and suddenly I feel exposed.
Until now, I expected them to beat me up since I can’t repay what I owe. The fact it didn’t occur to me they could do other things to my body makes me angry. I’m so screwed.
“Five grand, huh? I don’t suppose you have the money in that backpack of yours?”
My throat is currently home to a tennis ball-size lump, making it impossible to get a single word out. I shake my head and hold on to the strap of my backpack as if my life depends on it.
“You know what we do to people who don’t pay back our money?” He pauses, raising an eyebrow expectantly. Pretending he just asked me a rhetorical question, I wait for him to give me my sentencing.
When he tires of waiting, he continues, “We make an example out of them. Usually, that would entail a few broken bones and losing some teeth, but you’re in luck, pretty girl.” His lips tug up into an evil smile while his eyes gleam with lust. “I’m nice enough to let you work off your debt instead.”
I glance around the room and find half of the guys staring at me like I’m the perfectly cooked turkey presented on a Thanksgiving dinner table. My stomach makes a somersault, and for a second, I think I might puke.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” a familiar voice quiets the room. I look around, trying to locate the voice that has always made my skin crawl. I find him standing ten feet away from me. He is taller and more muscular than when I last saw him. A beard covers the lower half of his face, and from what I can see, tattoos conceal most of his body. His eyes are still the same piercing blue as I remembered. For a moment, I forget how to breathe.
“Ryder?” His name passes my lips as barely more than a whisper.
“You know this chick?” the guy who apparently holds my fate in his hands asks.
“Oh yeah, we go way back. Isn’t that right, little owl?”
Little owl.
He lived with my family for over a year, and not once did he call me by my name. Little owl is actually one of the nicer pet names he had for me.
“How long has it been? Five years?” He takes a few steps toward me, and I want to take a few steps back. The guy behind me is built like a tank, making it impossible to get away. “I think I’ll take care of this one myself.”
“I’d rather you just beat me up and let me go,” I say, not joking one bit.
The entire bar erupts in laughter.
“Still a smart-ass, I see.” Ryder stalks up to me, grips my arm with bruising force, and drags me through the crowd and to a door beside the bar. The sign on the door says, Employees Only. Either he works here or doesn’t care.
We end up in a brightly lit hallway. As soon as we are alone, he pushes me against the wall with my cheek flat against the cold bricks. His mouth is right next to my ear when he whispers, “I almost didn’t recognize you without your glasses and fucked up front teeth.” His breath smells of cigarettes and booze. Both I am very familiar with. My body instantly stiffens, associating those smells with getting hurt. I close my eyes and wait for some kind of pain to come next, but Ryder just holds me still.
“Don’t worry, you can work your debt off with me.” He runs his hand through my hair, catching a lock between his fingers. I wait for him to pull on it harshly, but he just keeps playing with it as if he is testing its softness. “You smell nice.”
He leans in even closer, his nose brushing against the skin on my throat.
“Are you scared, little owl?” I think I’m beyond scared. I have been scared for so long, sometimes it’s hard to tell what I’m feeling. “Answer me,” he growls into my ear, making me jump.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Good, you should be. Because I’m going to make you pay for what you did to me… I’m going to break you.”
I almost laugh at his words. He is going to break me? There is nothing left to break. I’m already broken beyond repair. My life shattered in so many pieces it’s impossible to find all the parts again. I can never glue the pieces back together.
“Hey, I want a turn with that fine piece of ass,” some guy yells from somewhere down the hall.
Ryder leans away from me but leaves one hand between my shoulder blades, keeping me pinned to the wall. �
�You know how this works, Buck.”
“Yeah, yeah, you get first dibs,” the guy name Buck says grumpily. “Doesn’t mean I can’t have some later, though…” My blood freezes in my veins. Please, god, no!
Ryder spins me around abruptly. “Come on, little owl, we’ll go somewhere private.”
Never taking his hand off me, he leads me to a room at the end of the hall. It’s small and dark, with a queen-size bed and a chair in the corner. A concrete floor and bare walls with no decoration make this room look more like a prison cell than a bedroom. He closes the door and locks it behind us before sitting down in the chair.
“Strip!” he commands, looking at me like a king on his throne.
Wrapping my arms around myself, like that could protect me, I shake my head. “I can’t do this, Ryder. I can’t do this with you.”
“Okay.” He shrugs. “There is the door.” He lifts his chin to the only exit out of this room. “I’ll even let you slip out the back this time. But after that, you’re on your own. If one of my guys catches you, you’re fair game.”
Karma has a way of getting back at you, and I think this is a prime example. I’ve made mistakes, many… and now it’s time to pay up.
I’m out of options, and he knows it. It’s either him or some guys I’ve never met. Ryder might hate me, but at least he is not some stranger. I can give him this, maybe that will make up for what I did. Maybe this will ease the guilt eating me alive.
I can do this; I just can’t do this with someone else.
“If I do this with you, will you tell your men not to touch me?”
“I haven’t decided yet. We’ll see how tonight ends.”
My heart is beating so fast, I think I might pass out. With shaking hands, I pull my shirt off and over my head. When I unbutton my jeans and pull the zipper down, my body trembles. I slip out of my shoes, push my pants down my legs, and step out of them. With a puddle of clothes on the floor, I’m left in panties and a bra.
“Everything,” he orders, looking nothing but smug.
I reach back to unclasp my bra and let it slide off of my arms. The cool air in the room has my nipples hard and tingling. Pushing the sensation aside, I pull down my panties—the final piece of clothing protecting me from his taunting eyes and the wicked grin plastered on his handsome face. Clearly, he is enjoying himself.
“Come here, kneel between my legs.”
Thanks to Tommy, I’m used to following orders without a second thought. I close the distance between us with three steps and kneel on the floor in front of him. The concrete is cold and unforgiving on my bare skin. I can’t help but wonder how many other girls have kneeled here before me. Were they thinking about the icy floor too? Probably not.
I put my hands in my lap, waiting for his instructions. Somehow, I feel better now that I’m kneeling so close to him than I did when I was standing up on display. He unzips his own jeans, and his erection springs free. I gulp down nervously. I’m guessing he wants me to give him a blow job. Should I tell him I’ve never done this before?
“Don’t look so nervous, owl. I’m just going to fuck your face for a little. Then, your cunt… and probably your ass after that.”
“I’ve never done this before,” I blurt out.
“Which one?” He chuckles.
“Any of it,” I confess.
He looks at me in shock for about two seconds before he laughs so hard the chair skids on the floor. “Are you fucking serious?”
I nod, looking at some imaginary spot on the wall. My cheeks are on fire, and I don’t know why I’m more embarrassed now than I was ten minutes ago.
“Well, if you think that that’s going to stop me from fucking the dog shit out of you, then you’re very wrong. You owe me in more than one way.”
I know. God, I know.
He grabs hold of my upper arms and lifts me up a few inches, pulling me toward his lap. Automatically, my hands fly up to brace myself on his legs. His hands move up to the sides of my head. “Open your mouth, and for your own good, keep your teeth to yourself.”
As soon as I do, he pulls my head all the way to his groin, filling my mouth with the tip of his rock-hard erection. He is warm and smooth on my tongue, sliding himself in and out a few times.
“Relax your throat and breath through your nose.” That’s all the warning I get before he pushes my head all the way down. He is at the back of my throat now, making me gag. I instinctively dig my fingers into his thighs, trying to push myself away, but he has a tight grip on me. He keeps thrusting into my throat, making it impossible to breathe. Tears spill out and run down the side of my face. In my panic, my jaw locks up, and my teeth graze on the upper side of his shaft.
“Watch it!” He yanks my head up by my hair and pulls out all the way to let me suck in a deep breath. The pain on my scalp makes me wince, and I panic even more. Closing my eyes, I try to calm myself.
“Look at me,” Ryder orders, but my eyes remain shut. “Look at me,” he repeats, his voice taking on a different tone. Calmer maybe.
I pry my eyes open and stare at him. His eyes look different up close. They are darker and more intense than I’ve ever seen them before. I could get lost in those eyes, maybe not necessarily a good lost, more like a lost in the dark forest, about to get eaten by the wolves.
He holds my gaze while he pushes himself back into my mouth, a little hesitant this time. In and out, a little deeper every time, but never breaking eye contact.
“I think you’d like being my little fuck toy. I bet you are already wet for me.” At his crude words, my thighs press together, and an unfamiliar feeling builds deep in my lower belly.
No! He is wrong, there is no way I like this.
A moment later, he is back at the earlier pace, continually pushing my head up and down, deep-throating me. With my throat more relaxed, I don’t gag or panic like I did before.
He keeps doing that for I don’t know how long. Fucking my mouth relentlessly and only letting me take a few deep breaths in between. By the time he stops and lets go of me, I’m lightheaded and disoriented. I sit back on my heels, swaying to the side. I’m still trying to catch my breath when he gets up, towering over me.
He leans down and grabs me under my arms like an adult would pick up a small child. Pulling me up like I weigh nothing, he throws me onto the bed, making me bounce on the mattress. “Lie on your back and spread your legs.”
I scramble on the bed to do as he says and get on my back. I spread my legs, and to my utter shock, I realize that I am wet down there.
Am I turned on right now?
I’m so out of tune with my body that I don’t even know if I am or not. I don’t have time to linger on the thought. The next thing I know, Ryder is pulling two fingers down my folds, smiling triumphantly. “I knew you would be wet. You like this?”
No! I yell inside my head.
Ryder lowers his head, all the way down until he is between my legs. Before I know it, his tongue is on the most sensitive part of me. The warm, wet sensation is foreign, and I have no idea what to make of it. I expected a beating when I got here. My body hasn’t gotten the memo of this turn of events. I can’t help but expect to be hurt at any minute. Not able to relax, I lie there stiffly, trying to numb myself.
With both of his hands under my thighs, Ryder spreads them even more to get better access. Using his tongue to caress my clit, he sends a weird jolt through my body. It takes everything out of me to not move or make a sound. I push all those unwanted feelings of pleasure away and ban them from my body just as Tommy taught me.
Ryder keeps licking me, using more pressure with every stroke of his tongue, and the feeling in my core intensifies. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from making a noise, and I lock up my muscles to stop myself from making my body move.
Ryder straightens up and glares at me. “Well, fuck, now I’m downright offended.” All I can do is stare at his wet, glistening lips.
“I’m sorry,” I say, ev
en though I don’t know what exactly I’m apologizing for.
He shakes his head. “You’re so weird.” He grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it off in one swift move, revealing a well-defined upper body. My eyes stay glued to his muscular chest and how his muscles flex as he moves.
Suddenly, he’s on top of me, pushing me into the mattress. He is all around me, crowding me in, leaving me no room to breathe. He lays his head next to mine and rests his elbows next to my body, caging me in.
To my annoyance, he smells nice—like clean soap and some kind of masculine spice. I don’t want to find anything nice about him. I need to hate him, and I need that to be the only feeling I have for him because I know that is the only feeling he will ever have for me.
I feel his smooth head nudging at my entrance, making me suck in a sharp breath preemptively. He pushes himself in just a little. Feeling my inner walls struggle to adjust and take him, I do my best to relax. That’s what they always say, right? Just relax, it will hurt less. Just got to relax.
Without warning and with one hard thrust, he buries himself deep inside of me. A pained whimper escapes my throat. The fullness and the pain are almost unbearable. I try to push him off, but he doesn’t move an inch.
“Shh, relax,” he says, almost soothing, but I can’t, not when I’m so confused. Confused by what I’m feeling, and what he is doing to me.
“Did you save yourself for a fairytale prince from one of your stupid books?” His voice is strained and raspy now, like he is holding himself back, only hanging on by a threat. “Or were you just too good for anybody else to spread your legs?” he taunts. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath on my skin.
Even if I knew what to tell him, I couldn’t get a single word out right now. My breaths are shallow and quick, and I have to force myself to relax before I hyperventilate. I take a deep, calming breath and realize that he hasn’t moved inside of me. The pain between my legs is already subsiding, and when he finally moves, there is only mild discomfort. The pain is replaced with a new feeling. I still feel full, but also, there is a warmth. I feel pleasure.