by C. Hallman
“Soooo,” Bradley says loudly, grabbing the attention of the whole table. “Remember how I told you guys about this new drug coming in? The one that’s tasteless and dissolves in liquid.” He smirks, looking straight at me. I freeze. He fucking wouldn’t. I almost throw the bottle of beer across the room.
“Calm down, fucker.” He laughs. “I didn’t put it in your drink.” His gaze swings over to Penny. “I put it in hers.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I growl, standing up so quickly the chair I was sitting on crashes to the floor behind me.
Bradley rolls his eyes… he rolls his fucking eyes. I’m livid. My mind goes blank, and the next thing I know, I’m across the table with my hands around Bradley’s throat.
“Ryder!” Maddox yells, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. I feel more hands on me, trying to pull me away, but my fingers are wrapped so tightly around my brother’s throat they can’t get me to move.
Bradley’s face turns a reddish-blueish color, and his eyes are bulging out when Maddox’s voice finally gets to me, “Ryder, cut it the fuck out. Just get that chick out of here.”
At the reminder of Penny being here, the fog around my mind slowly lifts, and I release Bradley with a shove. He slumps back into his chair, and I take a step back, taking in the scene in front of me.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
All eyes are on me, glaring at me like I’ve lost my fucking mind, probably because I have. I look down to my right and find Penny still in her chair, her big blue eyes glazed over, the spiked drink still in her hand. I take it from her and slam the glass on the table.
Then, I grab her arm and pull her up to her feet. I don’t know if the drug is already working or if her legs are buckling because I scare her. Either way, she needs my help to walk. I half carry her through the bar, her shorter legs unable to keep up with my long strides.
I head for the front door before remembering that I took the bike to get here. There is no fucking way she’ll be able to hold on. I really don’t want to stay here, but right now it’s my best option. Dragging her through the back of the bar, I take her to my room, the same room I took her to that first night.
Once inside, I lock the door behind us and guide her to the bed. As soon as I let go of her, she flops down like a rag doll. Fuck.
For a moment, I just stand there, looming over her. Her body looks exhausted, and I don’t think she can move much, but her eyes are still open, and they’re fixed on mine. Even through the haze of drugs in her system, her gaze holds an ocean of emotion, and I feel like I’m drowning in their depths. I don’t understand half of them. One, however, stands out… fear. I scare her. She is scared of me, and she has every right to be. Still, there is a part of me that wants to wipe that fear away.
The irony is not lost on me. All this time, I wanted to break her. I wanted her to hate me and fear me. Now that she does, all I want to do is keep her safe.
I undress her limp body. Her breath hitches when I get to her underwear, and her hand comes up as if she is trying to push me away. She is so weak; she wouldn’t be able to fend off a bug right now.
Unclipping the bra, I pull it off her body, and a whimper passes her lips. When I look back up to meet her gaze, I find her on the brink of tears. I leave her panties on and take off my boots. At the last minute, I decide to keep my own clothes on, knowing I won’t be able to keep my dick to myself if I don’t. I crawl onto the bed, pulling the thin blanket over us, and lie down next to her.
Her body trembles when I wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest. She is stiff at first, but when I do nothing besides hold her, she relaxes a little.
With the door and two walls between us, the bar’s loud music is nothing more than faint background noise. But there are other rooms around us, rooms my brothers use to bang club whores. Sounds from somewhere down the hall keep getting louder. When someone slams the door a few rooms down, Penny shakes and sobs uncontrollably. Fucking Christ.
This will not work. Pulling my phone out, I text Maddox telling him I need a ride to my house. Ten minutes later, someone knocks on my door, freaking Penny out even more.
“Calm down, I’m going to take you home now,” I try to calm her and get up at the same time. She shakes her head and grabs a fist full of my shirt, looking at me like she is in full-on panic mode now.
“Please,” she whimpers, tears rolling down her face.
“Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re safe, I’m taking you back to my house.” She keeps staring at me like she has no idea what I just said. I have to peel her fingers off before I can get to the door.
I find Maddox and Billy, one of our prospects, on the other side. They both look into the room, their eyes lingering on Penny’s curled up body on the bed.
“I can’t get her to calm down. What the fuck did he give her,” I growl. Sitting down on the bed, I pull my boots back on and wrap Penny up in the blanket tightly.
“I don’t fucking know, some kind of new crossbreed. He said Rohypnol is part of it, so she won’t remember shit tomorrow. If that makes you feel better.”
It does, actually, but I’m not about to offer that piece of information.
“Just get us home,” I say, sliding my arms under Penny’s blanket-covered body and lift her up.
“Billy will take you, he is the least drunk,” Maddox tells me.
“Great, lead the way, Billy boy.”
Holding her close to my chest, I walk through the quiet house. In the living room, we pass Mojo, who only briefly opens his eyes to glance at us, uninterested.
Penny was in and out of it the whole drive home, but right now, she’s looking at me fairly lucid. Maybe it’s the familiar environment and simply the absence of loud noises that has her finally relaxing.
Depositing her on the bed, I unwrap her from the thin blanket.
Dipping my fingers in the waistband of her flimsy panties, I pull them down her legs, freeing her from the last piece of clothing. Having her sprawled out on my bed and completely nude is a beautiful sight. One that has my balls screaming for me to shoot a load inside her tight pussy. But having her look up at me with pleading eyes dampens my mood.
Never taking my eyes off of her, I slip out of my boots and start taking off my clothes. When I’m completely naked, I slide into the bed and cover us both with my comforter.
Draping my arm across her torso, I carefully pull Penny closer. She shudders once but then relaxes into my hold, her naked body melting into mine.
“Ryder,” she croaks my name.
Pulling away just enough to see her face, I try to read her expression. Part of her is still scared, of what, I don’t know. There is a slight panic in her eyes, and her bottom lip is trembling.
Looking at her plump lips reminds me of what she can do with those. Desire stirs inside of me, and my cock hardens in no time.
“Ryder?” she says again, but it sounds more like a question.
“What is it, baby?” Baby? Where the fuck did that come from?
Hopefully, she really will forget about this in the morning. Penny stares at me in confusion, her eyebrows drawn together, forming little creases on her forehead. She looks like she forgot what she was going to ask me.
Yeah, she probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow. So, I guess it would be a good time to do this… something I’ve wanted to do since that first night I took her.
Sliding my hands up and down her back, I end up with one resting between her shoulder blades and one right on her perfectly shaped ass. I pull her even closer until there is no space between us. So close that I can feel her heartbeat through my chest, and her breath fans against my skin.
I press my lips against hers. It feels right and wrong at the same time. I haven’t kissed anyone since I was a teenager. I never felt the urge to, even then, but I want to kiss her now.
At first, she remains stoic in my hold. Only when I move my lips against hers does she part her lips slightly. I take the invitation and swipe my tongue
across her pouty bottom lip, beckoning them apart more.
She tastes divine, so sweet with a hint of mint. I never thought a simple kiss could be so satisfying, so all-consuming and arousing. My dick is so hard it’s throbbing painfully. Like a steel rod between my legs, it’s lying between us.
Penny wiggles in my hold, her slender arms moving awkwardly. It takes me a moment to realize that she is trying to wrap them around my neck. I can’t help but smile against her lips while helping her to move her arms around.
When she finally manages, she holds me closer, deepening the kiss. She moans, and the sound vibrates through my entire body before making its way to my cock.
I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want her right now. I want her like a junkie wants his next hit. I crave her, need her. I didn’t plan on having sex with her, I just wanted to hold her and calm her down, but right now, there won’t be anything stopping me from having her.
Rolling us over, so she lies on her back while I’m on top of her. I keep most of my weight on my elbows but not enough to leave any space between us. Our lips are still moving against each other when I nudge her thighs apart with my knees, and she spreads her legs even wider, inviting me in as I line myself up with her.
Pushing inside her tight channel as slow as I can manage, I enjoy every single second. I savor every sensation and hold on to every tiny way her body responds to mine. She moans, and her hip lifts slightly, meeting my thrusts.
I’ve had sex so many times, I lost count a long time ago. Even with Penny, I can’t recall how many times it’s been. But I know that it has never… never felt like this. I’ve never felt so close to anybody, not physically or mentally. I don’t know where my body ends, and hers begins. It’s like we are in a bubble of some sort, a space where only we exist, where we come together and somehow become one.
Maybe this is what people mean when they say, make love. Even though I don’t feel like this is love. I can’t explain what this is, but it feels special, precious somehow, and I want to hold on to it for as long as I can. Because I know damn well tonight is all I’m going to get.
19
Penny
Before I even open my eyes and wake up all the way, I know something is wrong. I feel weird… off. My mouth is dry, and there is a bitter taste lingering on my tongue, almost metallic.
There is a pounding behind my eyes, deep inside my skull, that I’ve never felt before. This alone is odd because I’ve had my fair share of head traumas. I should be used to any kind of headache by now.
Prying my eyes open slowly, I take in my surroundings. I’m in Ryder’s bed… naked. His blanket is draped over me. I clutch it closer to my chest and slowly sit up.
I’m alone in the room, which scares me a bit. But the thing that’s really freaking me out is that I can’t remember how I got here. Searching my memory, I ransack my brain for any information on last night. Thinking so hard only makes my head hurt more, and I come up empty anyway. It’s like someone has taken an ice cream scoop and scooped out a piece of my brain, a morsel that held all of my memories from last night.
The last thing I recall is… getting on a bike with Ryder. He drove us to the bar, that’s where things get fuzzy. I think we went in inside…
After that, only snippets of memories flash through my head.
“Are you serious?” A muffled male voice meets my ears. Even through the closed door, I can hear the anger in it. Then I hear Ryder say something, but he keeps his voice low, so I can’t make out what he is saying.
Quietly, I get up from the bed and take small steps toward the door. Immediately, I notice something sticky on my inner thigh. I reach down between my legs, realizing I’m slightly sore, and there is definitely cum stuck to my skin. We had sex last night. He came inside me, again.
Damnit. Why can’t I remember anything?
I grab the first item of clothing I can find. It’s one of Ryder’s sweaters. I slip it over my naked body and tiptoe to the door, lightly pressing my ear against it.
“How can you trust her? And how could she have done all that math in her head?” The unknown man asks. Math… that rings a bell. Ryder asked me to run numbers.
“I just do, and she is good at math. She had no reason to lie.”
“No reason to lie? You’ve been keeping her locked up as your sex slave, ready to hand her down to the guys when you’re done with her.”
No. He wouldn’t do that. He won’t…
“Not to mention the shit that happened to her last night…”
I stumble back, my head spins, and my stomach flips. What happened to me last night?
My hand comes up to my mouth when I feel the vomit suddenly rising. I barely make it to the bathroom before emptying the entire contents of my stomach into the toilet. I keep heaving, my body convulsing, long after there is nothing left inside.
I don’t hear him come in. He just appears out of nowhere, kneeling next to me, his hand on my lower back.
When my body has finally decided that was enough. Ryder hands me a small towel to wipe my face.
“What happened to me?” My voice is so hoarse, I hardly sound like myself.
“You’ll be fine,” is all he says, not answering my question at all. “I need you to come with me and talk to Maddox. He is in the living room.”
I shake my head, but Ryder is already pulling me up to stand. Wrapping his arm around me, he walks me into the living room.
Maddox, who I now realize I know, is sitting on the recliner. His icy glare finds me, and my heart races in my chest.
Ryder drags me to the couch, where he sits down, pulling me with him. Instead of letting me sit next to him like I expect, he pulls me down on his lap. Keeping one arm tightly around my torso, almost like he thinks I’m going to make a run for it.
Glancing down at the floor, I find Mojo looking up at me, his head tilted to the side like he doesn’t understand why I’m scared.
“Penny, is it?” Maddox breaks the silence.
“Yes,” I answer, my voice sounding just as meek as I feel right now.
“What do you remember from last night?”
“Not much. Really nothing.” Squeezing my legs together, I remember that I’m naked under the sweatshirt. Luckily, Ryder’s clothes are five sizes too big on me. Even sitting down, his shirt covers half of my thighs.
“Of course, you don’t,” Maddox growls, annoyance lacing his voice. “This is useless.” He waves me off as if he is really saying I am useless.
“Go back to bed. Catch up on sleep,” Ryder says dismissively as he pushes me off his lap.
I stand on shaky legs but manage to walk back into his bedroom without falling. Closing the door behind me, I lean against it for support.
“I’m taking her back to the club,” Maddox growls. “We’re putting her in a room with Tucker and ending this shit once and for all.”
His words knock the air from my lungs. He might as well have sucker-punched me. They’re going to take me back to the club… put me in a room with Tucker.
No. I can’t let that happen. I need to get out of here.
Frantically, I look around the room until I find a pair of leggings to wear. Luckily, my shoes are in here as well. I slip them on and walk to the window. Unlocking it quietly, I push it open as quickly as I can.
Lifting my leg, I half climb out, fear swirling deep in my gut—for two reasons. I’m scared that Ryder is going to catch me, and I’m terrified that he won’t. Because the truth is, after everything that has happened to me in the last five years, this is the only place I’ve felt safe.
I stare at the door for a few more seconds, but it never opens. I finish climbing out of the window, my feet landing on the soft grass below, and I take off running.
Without looking back or thinking about where to go, I just keep running.
I run until my legs give out, until I can’t do anything else besides sit down on the sidewalk, my back leaning against a building. My legs are sore, my lungs burn, and my
ribs ache.
Closing my eyes, I concentrate on breathing evenly. Wrapping my arms around myself, I bury my face into the crook of my arm. The material of the sweater is soft, and it smells of Ryder. A deep ache forms in my chest, thinking of him… I miss him. I miss the comfort he gave me.
“Are you doing okay, sweetie?”
I lift my head to see where the voice comes from and find an older lady standing a few feet away. She is carrying two grocery bags that look way too heavy for her to carry.
“I’m fine,” I lie, “but you look like you could use some help.” I push myself up to stand. “Can I help you carry those?”
“That would be very nice of you.” She hands me one bag. “I don’t live far from here, just another block down.”
I follow the sweet old lady to her building, glad that she doesn’t ask me any more questions.
“This is me,” she says when we get to an apartment entrance. “Set the bag down on the steps for me, please. I got it from here.”
I do as she asks, leaving the bags on the top step. I turn around, ready to walk away, when she reaches her hand out to me.
“Here, take this for your trouble.” I look down at the twenty-dollar bill in her hand.
“It’s fine, really. I’m happy to help.”
“So am I, child. Please, take it. Maybe for a bus ticket out of here.”
“Thank you,” I take the bill from her hand and stuff it in the sweater pocket. “Really, thank you.”
“The bus station is that way.” She points the way we came from a moment ago. “Good luck.” She smiles at me sweetly, and her kindness almost brings me to tears.
I watch her grab her bags and disappear into the building before I turn around and start walking.
After a few blocks, I find myself at the bus station. Walking up to the booth, I wonder if I really have the guts to take the bus, I know I should.
The bus ride isn’t long. Only twenty minutes outside of town, and I’m here, stepping off the bus and onto the street I grew up on.