by C. Hallman
“What are we doing here?”
“Relaxing,” Ryder explains, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Wait here, I’ll get us a room.” He gets out of the truck, then pauses. “Actually, just come with me now.”
“Okay.” I climb out of the cab, glad he is not leaving me alone. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, I’d rather be with him.
Together we walk into the fancy lobby, looking completely underdressed and out of place. The receptionist is in a suit, for Christ’s sake. I’m certain he is going to tell us to leave because we can’t afford to stay here, or at the very least, that there are no vacancies.
To my utter shock, he greets us with a bright smile, not glancing twice at our appearance.
“Welcome to the Grand Levine. Do you have a reservation with us?”
“No, I would like a room for tonight. Well, actually today and tonight. I know it’s early, so if you need to charge me for two nights, that will be fine,” Ryder explains.
“Regular check-in is at two o’clock, but you can get a room with early check-in. That would only be $100 extra, no need to pay for a full night.”
“Sounds good.”
“I have a lovely suite, facing the atrium available for $429 a night, not including breakfast.” He probably thinks we’re going to leave now, but Ryder simply pulls out his credit card and driver’s license and hands it to him. If the receptionist is surprised, he hides it well.
He hands us our room key a moment later, and we head to the elevators. As we walk through the hotel, I’m in awe of how beautiful the place is: high ceilings, shiny marble floors, and light paisley wallpaper covering the walls.
The room is just as fancy as I imagined it to be. Larger than any bedroom I’ve ever been in, it looks like something out of a home décor magazine. There is a king-sized bed in the center, covered by at least eight neatly stacked pillows. On the wall in front of it is a huge flatscreen television.
Ryder takes his shoes off and flops down onto the bed with the remote in hand. “Come on, get comfy.” He pats the spot next to him.
I grab one of the complementary bottles of water next to the expensive-looking coffee machine and join Ryder on the bed.
He turns on the TV and starts flipping through the channels, leaving it at an action movie.
This is so weird.
Lying in bed with Ryder and watching a movie is so… normal. And that’s not something we often do. I almost ask him if he likes this, if he wants to have this between us all the time, but then I remember how it went last time I ask him a question like that. So, I decide to bite my tongue and enjoy the moment.
Enjoy this while it lasts.
28
Ryder
I got up before sunrise, leaving Penny asleep in the hotel room. I used the hotel gym before heading to the closest Walmart and buying us some new clothes.
I’d left her a note so she wouldn’t freak out when she woke up. It’s after eight by the time I get back, but she is still sleeping like a baby when I enter the room.
Curled up in the center of the immense bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows and crisp white sheets, she looks small and innocent.
She doesn’t wake up when I dump out all the stuff I bought. I get dressed and lay her stuff out on the bed. Only when I brew a coffee with the in-room coffeemaker does she stir.
Sitting up, she rubs her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Hi.” She yawns, taking my newly dressed form in. “Did you leave?”
“Yeah, got you some clothes too. Put this on,” I point to the bathing suit. The hotel has a pool. I wanna go for a swim before we pick up Mojo from the vet.”
She blinks rapidly, then looks down at the stuff I bought her. “Thank you. Is Mojo going to be okay? I mean, where are we taking him?”
If that isn’t the big question. I thought about it all night and all morning. A hundred different scenarios running through my mind, but none of them make sense. None of them feel right… except for one.
“I have some money saved up. I think we should go away for a bit.”
“Away?”
“Yeah, like leave town. Actually, leave the state. Lie low for a bit, until Tucker comes out of hiding.” Or longer, I add in my head. “It’s off-season right now, so cabins in the mountains are cheap and rent by weeks or month. Mojo is gonna love it too. Once he is all healed up, we can go on hikes every day.”
“Wow, you really thought this through.” She studies me for a moment. “What if I don’t want to go?” I can’t hide my smirk at her question.
“Oh, little owl. What did I tell you? Don’t mistake my kindness. Don’t think we’re equals. What I say goes, and if I want your ass in a cabin up in the mountains, then your ass will be there. Now, get out of bed and put the fucking bathing suit on.”
Frowning, she gets up and starts dressing. With my arms crossed in front of my chest, I lean against the wall, and I watch her. She slips into the bathing suit, which fits great. The dress I got her to wear over it, not so much. It’s baggy, and the straps fall off her shoulders, but it’ll do for today.
I lead her through the hotel. She clutches one of the large towels in front of her chest as she takes in every inch of this place with wonder, like a kid in a toy store for the first time in their life.
When we get to the pool, I’m glad to find it empty. After I take my shirt and shoes off, I stand on the edge of the pool. I jump in headfirst, diving under the water, and swim to the other side of the pool before I resurface.
Penny is still dressed, folding her towel neatly over a chair.
“Take the dress off and get in here,” I order.
She murmurs something I can’t hear over the water pumping into the filter, but I’m sure it’s something like fine, or I know. She makes quick work of her dress and flip flops before getting into the pool. She doesn’t jump in; instead, she walks into the shallow side of the pool slowly.
I’m right in the center of the pool when I lift my hand and motion for her to come closer.
“You know it won’t always be like this,” she tells me as she approaches.
“Like what?”
“Me taking orders, letting you push me around. At some point, I’ll have enough, and I’ll get away for good. I’ve done it before.”
Anger surges through me like a tornado. Not because she is threatening me to leave, but she is comparing me with Thomas. With two large strides, I cross the distance between us. The water slows my movement down, but not enough for her to get away from me.
I wrap my hand around her throat. She gasps, her eyes go wide, and her hands wrap around my wrist. I walk her backward until her back is pushed up against the side of the pool.
“Do not compare me to him. I am nothing like him. I would never hurt you like that.”
I can feel her throat work under my touch as she swallows. “I know that, but you hurt me in other ways.”
“Shut up, you like what I do to you. Even when I’m rough with you, you come, so don’t fucking lie.” I’d never push her too far. I always make sure she enjoys it too.
“No.” She shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean. You don’t hurt me when we have sex. It’s just… I don’t know what this is between us. You don’t talk to me. Every time I think we’re getting close, you push me away.”
“What do you expect? How do you want me to act? Like fucking prince charming?” I squeeze my hand around her throat before I release her completely. “This is who I am.” I jab my finger into my chest. “And that’s not going to change.”
“I’m not asking you to change. I’m asking you to let me in.”
“That’s not going to happen either. I could never trust you again.”
Her face contours into pain, like the words physically hurt her. Part of me wants to wrap her into my arms and tell her I don’t mean it. Instead, I hold on to that last bit of pain. I have to because if I don’t, I won’t survive letting her go when this is over.
W
e’re on our way to pick up Mojo. I have Penny in the truck, and together we’re about to go on an extended vacation.
I should be in a great mood. But I am definitely not.
I let what Penny said earlier replay in my mind. She wants me to let her in and not push her away. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know how. This will never work. Not in the long run anyway. She’ll come to realize that soon enough.
“I think you just passed it,” Penny’s voice drags me out of my daydream. “There was a vet on the right.”
“Shit, yeah.” I make a U-turn and pull into the vet’s parking lot a few minutes later.
Penny gets out with me, and together we walk into the vet’s clinic Mojo has been at for the last few days. I pay the lady at the front, and she has someone else go get my dog from the kennel in the back.
When the guy walks my 150lb Rottweiler into the lobby, I smile. Mojo looks like shit, groggy as hell, and there is a good-sized shaved spot on his side. The scar still looks angry and red, but when he sees me, he perks up a little.
“Hey, bud.” I get down on one knee and run my hands through his fur, giving him a good behind the ear rub. He nuzzles his face into my chest, just as I see Penny kneeling down next to us.
Her small hand reaches out and pets him between the shoulder blades. He waddles closer to her and goes to lick her face with his slobbery tongue.
“We took the stitches out and left the cone off. He hasn’t messed with the incision so far, but if he does, he’ll have to wear the cone again.”
“Got it.” I nod as I stand back up, and the guy hands me Mojo’s leash.
As soon as we walk out through the front door, I see him.
Maddox is sitting on his bike, parked right next to my truck. Fuck!
“Get in the back seat with Mojo,” I tell Penny.
When I glance over at her, I see her face has gone pale, and her shoulders are slouched, almost like she is trying to make herself smaller… invisible.
“It’s going to be okay, just do as I say,” I tell her. She moves closer to me and slows her walk, so she is positioned a little behind me as we approach my friend.
Opening the back door, Penny scurries inside, then I lift Mojo onto the backseat as well.
“How the hell did you know when I was coming?” I ask after I shut the door. I’m not really mad at him, but I am annoyed that he is here. I shut down my phone for a reason.
“Called them this morning, asking when I was supposed to pick up Mojo.”
“Of course, you did. Look, I know this is not how it’s done, but I’m leaving town for a few weeks–”
“I know where Tucker is,” Maddox interject.
“Where?”
“If I tell you, what are you going to do with him?”
“You know what I’ll do. He deserves to die.” I lower my voice a little at the last part. Don’t need someone passing by overhearing me.
“He does.” Maddox nods. “And then what? Are you still going to leave town for a few weeks?”
“If Tucker is taken care of, there won’t be a reason for me to leave.”
“What about her?” He points at the cab of the truck.
“I’ll send her back home.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that,” I repeat.
Maddox studies me for a few moments before continuing, “Come stay at my house. Mojo and your girl will be safe there. We’ll take care of Tucker. Just you and me, like old times.”
“I don’t know.” I look down at the ground. “Penny doesn’t like you.”
“Most people don’t like me.” Maddox chuckles.
“That’s fair.”
“Come on. You have my word. She’ll be safe at my place.”
“Fine. We’ll stay with you.” I nod. Penny might not trust him, but I do. He gave me his word, and he’s never broken it before; he better not now.
29
Penny
Even before Ryder climbs back into the truck, I know our plans are about to change. I can’t hear what they are saying, but I can read enough of their body language to know that Maddox is asking Ryder something. Ryder disagrees at first, but then his shoulders slump down in defeat as he nods slightly.
Mojo’s heavy head is lying on my lap. I run my fingers through his soft fur, letting it calm my nerves a little.
Ryder opens the door and gets into the driver’s seat while Maddox’s bike roars to life beside us. Even after Ryder closes his door, the motorcycle is so loud, I can feel the vibration come off it. Or maybe that’s just me shaking in fear.
“He found Tucker, and we’re going to stay with Maddox tonight. You’ll be safe there.”
“That’s what you said when you took me to the club too.”
“And? Did someone hurt you at the club?”
“Well, no, but…” Your friends almost raped me.
“But nothing. I kept you safe like I said I would.” He turns on the truck and pulls out of the parking lot.
“Okay,” I agree. It’s not like he is going to change his mind anyway.
We drive for much longer than I expected. I figured Maddox would live close to the club, like Ryder, but he actually lives about an hour away.
“He doesn’t come here much. He stays at the club most days,” Ryder answers one of my unspoken questions as we are driving down a long and winding driveway.
I haven’t seen another house in about five minutes, which means he has no neighbors. I’m sure him being secluded is by design.
As we get closer to the house, the attached garage opens, and Maddox pulls his bike inside. Ryder parks his truck in front of the garage and kills the engine.
My mind is whirling as I look up at the two-story house that looks like a large family lives here. I wonder if he lives here on his own? From what little I know about Maddox, he is a loner. I doubt he has a girlfriend or anyone else living with him.
I’m so lost in thought I flinch when the back door opens.
Ryder lifts Mojo out of the truck, and I slide out of the seat behind him. When I get out, Maddox is standing next to the truck, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest.
“Relax, I gave Ryder my word to leave you alone,” he tells me, his tone letting me know he is anything but happy about it.
I simply nod and follow Ryder inside the house, through the garage. Mojo is still walking sluggishly, and I’m sure he is going to pass out as soon as he gets a chance to lie down somewhere.
The inside of the house is surprisingly cozy. We enter the kitchen first. White, weathered cabinets wrap around the corner, and a large kitchen isle, with pots and pans hanging from the ceiling above it, sits in the center of the room. Ruffled sunflower curtains hang over the window above a deep double sink, giving it a country house flair.
Pictures cover the wall of the staircase—a family with three young children, and I wonder if this is actually Maddox’s house.
The living room is just as nice as the rest of the house. A large sofa is sitting in front of a brick fireplace, a TV hanging above the mantle.
“Just put Mojo on the couch,” Maddox says, reminding me he is right behind me.
“Sit down and stay with him,” Ryder tells me when he gets Mojo settles.
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I walk around the couch and sit down, cuddling up to Mojo carefully.
The guys disappear into another room, but I know they are not far because I can hear their muffled voices. Awkwardly, I sit on the couch and wait for them to be done with their private conversation.
When they return, they look just as pissed off as they were before. I’d hoped maybe talking it out would resolve whatever they are fighting about. Apparently not.
“We’re going to leave you here for a bit,” Ryder announces. “We’re going to take care of Tucker… after, I’ll take you back to your place, and you’ll forget the last few weeks ever happened.”
His words shouldn’t hurt me this way, but they do. They cut so deep I feel like
my heart is bleeding. Not only is he sending me away, but he also wants me to forget. I should be glad, I should be relieved that he is giving me an out, a way to start my life the right way, but my stupid heart is not letting me.
Tears prick my eyes, but I force them away. I’ll have plenty of time to cry later in private.
“That should knock him out for a while,” Ryder says as he gives Mojo a pill wrapped in cheese. “You can go upstairs to the guest room.”
“I’d rather stay here with Mojo,” I tell him, my voice shaky from unshed tears and a million emotions swirling around in my core.
“Suit yourself,” Maddox joins our conversation. “There is food in the fridge.”
I assume he means to tell me I can eat something without saying the actual words.
“We’ll be back in a few hours,” Ryder gives me a look that says, don’t do anything stupid.
“Okay.” I nod and watch them disappear through the front door. I cry as soon as the lock clicks in place. Ryder walking out the door without looking back is too much of a representation of what he is doing to me.
Silently, I let the tears fall freely and take comfort in the warmth Mojo’s large body gives me.
Mojo falls into a deep sleep not long after they leave. I keep petting him long after he is out, just enjoying the way his fur feels between my fingers.
When I can’t sit still any longer, I get up and walk around the room for a bit. I feel weird being here, especially on my own. That doesn’t stop me from snooping around just a little.
I inspect the picture hanging up on the wall. Close up, I realize the children are two boys and one girl. They seem all close in age, maybe each a year apart. Both parents look happy and in love.
The first few pictures are taken when the children must have been in elementary school. As I get further down the hall, the kids get older until they are some at high school graduation. That’s when I recognize him for the first time.