by Daniel Defoe
'yousuppose I have the money, and want the beauty; but as times go now, thefirst will do without the last, so I have the better of my neighbours.'
'Well,' says the younger brother, 'but your neighbours, as you callthem, may be even with you, for beauty will steal a husband sometimesin spite of money, and when the maid chances to be handsomer than themistress, she oftentimes makes as good a market, and rides in a coachbefore her.'
I thought it was time for me to withdraw and leave them, and I did so,but not so far but that I heard all their discourse, in which I heardabundance of the fine things said of myself, which served to prompt myvanity, but, as I soon found, was not the way to increase my interestin the family, for the sister and the younger brother fell grievouslyout about it; and as he said some very disobliging things to her uponmy account, so I could easily see that she resented them by her futureconduct to me, which indeed was very unjust to me, for I had never hadthe least thought of what she suspected as to her younger brother;indeed, the elder brother, in his distant, remote way, had said a greatmany things as in jest, which I had the folly to believe were inearnest, or to flatter myself with the hopes of what I ought to havesupposed he never intended, and perhaps never thought of.
It happened one day that he came running upstairs, towards the roomwhere his sisters used to sit and work, as he often used to do; andcalling to them before he came in, as was his way too, I, being therealone, stepped to the door, and said, 'Sir, the ladies are not here,they are walked down the garden.' As I stepped forward to say this,towards the door, he was just got to the door, and clasping me in hisarms, as if it had been by chance, 'Oh, Mrs. Betty,' says he, 'are youhere? That's better still; I want to speak with you more than I dowith them'; and then, having me in his arms, he kissed me three or fourtimes.
I struggled to get away, and yet did it but faintly neither, and heheld me fast, and still kissed me, till he was almost out of breath,and then, sitting down, says, 'Dear Betty, I am in love with you.'
His words, I must confess, fired my blood; all my spirits flew about myheart and put me into disorder enough, which he might easily have seenin my face. He repeated it afterwards several times, that he was inlove with me, and my heart spoke as plain as a voice, that I liked it;nay, whenever he said, 'I am in love with you,' my blushes plainlyreplied, 'Would you were, sir.'
However, nothing else passed at that time; it was but a surprise, andwhen he was gone I soon recovered myself again. He had stayed longerwith me, but he happened to look out at the window and see his sisterscoming up the garden, so he took his leave, kissed me again, told me hewas very serious, and I should hear more of him very quickly, and awayhe went, leaving me infinitely pleased, though surprised; and had therenot been one misfortune in it, I had been in the right, but the mistakelay here, that Mrs. Betty was in earnest and the gentleman was not.
From this time my head ran upon strange things, and I may truly say Iwas not myself; to have such a gentleman talk to me of being in lovewith me, and of my being such a charming creature, as he told me I was;these were things I knew not how to bear, my vanity was elevated to thelast degree. It is true I had my head full of pride, but, knowingnothing of the wickedness of the times, I had not one thought of my ownsafety or of my virtue about me; and had my young master offered it atfirst sight, he might have taken any liberty he thought fit with me;but he did not see his advantage, which was my happiness for that time.
After this attack it was not long but he found an opportunity to catchme again, and almost in the same posture; indeed, it had more of designin it on his part, though not on my part. It was thus: the youngladies were all gone a-visiting with their mother; his brother was outof town; and as for his father, he had been in London for a weekbefore. He had so well watched me that he knew where I was, though Idid not so much as know that he was in the house; and he briskly comesup the stairs and, seeing me at work, comes into the room to medirectly, and began just as he did before, with taking me in his arms,and kissing me for almost a quarter of an hour together.
It was his younger sister's chamber that I was in, and as there wasnobody in the house but the maids below-stairs, he was, it may be, theruder; in short, he began to be in earnest with me indeed. Perhaps hefound me a little too easy, for God knows I made no resistance to himwhile he only held me in his arms and kissed me; indeed, I was too wellpleased with it to resist him much.
However, as it were, tired with that kind of work, we sat down, andthere he talked with me a great while; he said he was charmed with me,and that he could not rest night or day till he had told me how he wasin love with me, and, if I was able to love him again, and would makehim happy, I should be the saving of his life, and many such finethings. I said little to him again, but easily discovered that I was afool, and that I did not in the least perceive what he meant.
Then he walked about the room, and taking me by the hand, I walked withhim; and by and by, taking his advantage, he threw me down upon thebed, and kissed me there most violently; but, to give him his due,offered no manner of rudeness to me, only kissed a great while. Afterthis he thought he had heard somebody come upstairs, so got off fromthe bed, lifted me up, professing a great deal of love for me, but toldme it was all an honest affection, and that he meant no ill to me; andwith that he put five guineas into my hand, and went away downstairs.
I was more confounded with the money than I was before with the love,and began to be so elevated that I scarce knew the ground I stood on.I am the more particular in this part, that if my story comes to beread by any innocent young body, they may learn from it to guardthemselves against the mischiefs which attend an early knowledge oftheir own beauty. If a young woman once thinks herself handsome, shenever doubts the truth of any man that tells her he is in love withher; for if she believes herself charming enough to captivate him, 'tisnatural to expect the effects of it.
This young gentleman had fired his inclination as much as he had myvanity, and, as if he had found that he had an opportunity and wassorry he did not take hold of it, he comes up again in half an hour orthereabouts, and falls to work with me again as before, only with alittle less introduction.
And first, when he entered the room, he turned about and shut the door.'Mrs. Betty,' said he, 'I fancied before somebody was coming upstairs,but it was not so; however,' adds he, 'if they find me in the room withyou, they shan't catch me a-kissing of you.' I told him I did not knowwho should be coming upstairs, for I believed there was nobody in thehouse but the cook and the other maid, and they never came up thosestairs. 'Well, my dear,' says he, ''tis good to be sure, however'; andso he sits down, and we began to talk. And now, though I was still allon fire with his first visit, and said little, he did as it were putwords in my mouth, telling me how passionately he loved me, and thatthough he could not mention such a thing till he came to this estate,yet he was resolved to make me happy then, and himself too; that is tosay, to marry me, and abundance of such fine things, which I, poorfool, did not understand the drift of, but acted as if there was nosuch thing as any kind of love but that which tended to matrimony; andif he had spoke of that, I had no room, as well as no power, to havesaid no; but we were not come that length yet.
We had not sat long, but he got up, and, stopping my very breath withkisses, threw me upon the bed again; but then being both well warmed,he went farther with me than decency permits me to mention, nor had itbeen in my power to have denied him at that moment, had he offered muchmore than he did.
However, though he took these freedoms with me, it did not go to thatwhich they call the last favour, which, to do him justice, he did notattempt; and he made that self-denial of his a plea for all hisfreedoms with me upon other occasions after this. When this was over,he stayed but a little while, but he put almost a handful of gold in myhand, and left me, making a thousand protestations of his passion forme, and of his loving me above all the women in the world.
It will not be strange if I now began to think, but alas! it was butwith very little solid reflect
ion. I had a most unbounded stock ofvanity and pride, and but a very little stock of virtue. I did indeedcase sometimes with myself what young master aimed at, but thought ofnothing but the fine words and the gold; whether he intended to marryme, or not to marry me, seemed a matter of no great consequence to me;nor did my thoughts so much as suggest to me the necessity of makingany capitulation for myself, till he came to make a kind of formalproposal to me, as you shall hear presently.
Thus I gave up myself to a readiness of being ruined without the leastconcern and am a fair memento to all young women whose vanity prevailsover their virtue. Nothing was ever so stupid on both sides. Had Iacted as became me, and resisted as virtue and honour require, thisgentleman had either desisted his attacks, finding no room to expectthe accomplishment of his design, or had made fair and honourableproposals of marriage;