by Daniel Defoe
to inquire a little intomy circumstances, as how I had subsisted myself since I came on shore,and whether I did not want money. I stood off very boldly. I told himthat though my cargo of tobacco was damaged, yet that it was not quitelost; that the merchant I had been consigned to had so honestly managedfor me that I had not wanted, and that I hoped, with frugal management,I should make it hold out till more would come, which I expected by thenext fleet; that in the meantime I had retrenched my expenses, andwhereas I kept a maid last season, now I lived without; and whereas Ihad a chamber and a dining-room then on the first floor, as he knew, Inow had but one room, two pair of stairs, and the like. 'But I live,'said I, 'as well satisfied now as I did then'; adding, that his companyhad been a means to make me live much more cheerfully than otherwise Ishould have done, for which I was much obliged to him; and so I put offall room for any offer for the present. However, it was not longbefore he attacked me again, and told me he found that I was backwardto trust him with the secret of my circumstances, which he was sorryfor; assuring me that he inquired into it with no design to satisfy hisown curiosity, but merely to assist me, if there was any occasion; butsince I would not own myself to stand in need of any assistance, he hadbut one thing more to desire of me, and that was, that I would promisehim that when I was any way straitened, or like to be so, I wouldfrankly tell him of it, and that I would make use of him with the samefreedom that he made the offer; adding, that I should always find I hada true friend, though perhaps I was afraid to trust him.
I omitted nothing that was fit to be said by one infinitely obliged, tolet him know that I had a due sense of his kindness; and indeed fromthat time I did not appear so much reserved to him as I had donebefore, though still within the bounds of the strictest virtue on bothsides; but how free soever our conversation was, I could not arrive tothat sort of freedom which he desired, viz. to tell him I wanted money,though I was secretly very glad of his offer.
Some weeks passed after this, and still I never asked him for money;when my landlady, a cunning creature, who had often pressed me to it,but found that I could not do it, makes a story of her own inventing,and comes in bluntly to me when we were together. 'Oh, widow!' saysshe, 'I have bad news to tell you this morning.' 'What is that?' saidI; 'are the Virginia ships taken by the French?'--for that was my fear.'No, no,' says she, 'but the man you sent to Bristol yesterday formoney is come back, and says he has brought none.'
Now I could by no means like her project; I thought it looked too muchlike prompting him, which indeed he did not want, and I clearly sawthat I should lose nothing by being backward to ask, so I took her upshort. 'I can't image why he should say so to you,' said I, 'for Iassure you he brought me all the money I sent him for, and here it is,'said I (pulling out my purse with about twelve guineas in it); andadded, 'I intend you shall have most of it by and by.'
He seemed distasted a little at her talking as she did at first, aswell as I, taking it, as I fancied he would, as something forward ofher; but when he saw me give such an answer, he came immediately tohimself again. The next morning we talked of it again, when I found hewas fully satisfied, and, smiling, said he hoped I would not want moneyand not tell him of it, and that I had promised him otherwise. I toldhim I had been very much dissatisfied at my landlady's talking sopublicly the day before of what she had nothing to do with; but Isupposed she wanted what I owed her, which was about eight guineas,which I had resolved to give her, and had accordingly given it her thesame night she talked so foolishly.
He was in a might good humour when he heard me say I had paid her, andit went off into some other discourse at that time. But the nextmorning, he having heard me up about my room before him, he called tome, and I answering, he asked me to come into his chamber. He was inbed when I came in, and he made me come and sit down on his bedside,for he said he had something to say to me which was of some moment.After some very kind expressions, he asked me if I would be very honestto him, and give a sincere answer to one thing he would desire of me.After some little cavil at the word 'sincere,' and asking him if I hadever given him any answers which were not sincere, I promised him Iwould. Why, then, his request was, he said, to let him see my purse.I immediately put my hand into my pocket, and, laughing to him, pulledit out, and there was in it three guineas and a half. Then he asked meif there was all the money I had. I told him No, laughing again, notby a great deal.
Well, then, he said, he would have me promise to go and fetch him allthe money I had, every farthing. I told him I would, and I went intomy chamber and fetched him a little private drawer, where I had aboutsix guineas more, and some silver, and threw it all down upon the bed,and told him there was all my wealth, honestly to a shilling. Helooked a little at it, but did not tell it, and huddled it all into thedrawer again, and then reaching his pocket, pulled out a key, and bademe open a little walnut-tree box he had upon the table, and bring himsuch a drawer, which I did. In which drawer there was a great deal ofmoney in gold, I believe near two hundred guineas, but I knew not howmuch. He took the drawer, and taking my hand, made me put it in andtake a whole handful. I was backward at that, but he held my hand hardin his hand, and put it into the drawer, and made me take out as manyguineas almost as I could well take up at once.
When I had done so, he made me put them into my lap, and took my littledrawer, and poured out all my money among his, and bade me get me gone,and carry it all home into my own chamber.
I relate this story the more particularly because of the good-humourthere was in it, and to show the temper with which we conversed. Itwas not long after this but he began every day to find fault with myclothes, with my laces and headdresses, and, in a word, pressed me tobuy better; which, by the way, I was willing enough to do, though I didnot seem to be so, for I loved nothing in the world better than fineclothes. I told him I must housewife the money he had lent me, or elseI should not be able to pay him again. He then told me, in a fewwords, that as he had a sincere respect for me, and knew mycircumstances, he had not lent me that money, but given it me, and thathe thought I had merited it from him by giving him my company soentirely as I had done. After this he made me take a maid, and keephouse, and his friend that come with him to Bath being gone, he obligedme to diet him, which I did very willingly, believing, as it appeared,that I should lose nothing by it, nor did the woman of the house failto find her account in it too.
We had lived thus near three months, when the company beginning to wearaway at the Bath, he talked of going away, and fain he would have me togo to London with him. I was not very easy in that proposal, notknowing what posture I was to live in there, or how he might use me.But while this was in debate he fell very sick; he had gone out to aplace in Somersetshire, called Shepton, where he had some business andwas there taken very ill, and so ill that he could not travel; so hesent his man back to Bath, to beg me that I would hire a coach and comeover to him. Before he went, he had left all his money and otherthings of value with me, and what to do with them I did not know, but Isecured them as well as I could, and locked up the lodgings and went tohim, where I found him very ill indeed; however, I persuaded him to becarried in a litter to the Bath, where there was more help and betteradvice to be had.
He consented, and I brought him to the Bath, which was about fifteenmiles, as I remember. Here he continued very ill of a fever, and kepthis bed five weeks, all which time I nursed him and tended him myself,as much and as carefully as if I had been his wife; indeed, if I hadbeen his wife I could not have done more. I sat up with him so muchand so often, that at last, indeed, he would not let me sit up anylonger, and then I got a pallet-bed into his room, and lay in it justat his bed's feet.
I was indeed sensibly affected with his condition, and with theapprehension of losing such a friend as he was, and was like to be tome, and I used to sit and cry by him many hours together. However, atlast he grew better, and gave hopes that he would recover, as indeed hedid, though very slowly.
Were it otherwise than what I am going
to say, I should not be backwardto disclose it, as it is apparent I have done in other cases in thisaccount; but I affirm, that through all this conversation, abating thefreedom of coming into the chamber when I or he was in bed, and abatingthe necessary offices of attending him night and day when he was sick,there had not passed the least immodest word or action between us. Ohthat it had been so to the last!
After some time he gathered strength and grew well apace, and I wouldhave removed my pallet-bed, but he would not let me, till he was ableto venture himself without anybody to sit up with him, and then Iremoved to my own chamber.
He took many occasions to express his sense of my tenderness andconcern for him; and when he grew quite well, he made me a present offifty guineas for my care and, as he called it, for hazarding my lifeto save his.
And now he made deep protestations of a