by Daniel Defoe
this while I wasseized with a fit of trembling, as much as I could have been if I hadbeen in the same condition, as to be sure the day before I expected tobe; I was so violently agitated by this surprising fit, that I shook asif it had been in the cold fit of an ague, so that I could not speak orlook but like one distracted. As soon as they were all put into cartsand gone, which, however, I had not courage enough to see--I say, assoon as they were gone, I fell into a fit of crying involuntarily, andwithout design, but as a mere distemper, and yet so violent, and itheld me so long, that I knew not what course to take, nor could I stop,or put a check to it, no, not with all the strength and courage I had.
This fit of crying held me near two hours, and, as I believe, held metill they were all out of the world, and then a most humble, penitent,serious kind of joy succeeded; a real transport it was, or passion ofjoy and thankfulness, but still unable to give vent to it by words, andin this I continued most part of the day.
In the evening the good minister visited me again, and then fell to hisusual good discourses. He congratulated my having a space yet allowedme for repentance, whereas the state of those six poor creatures wasdetermined, and they were now past the offers of salvation; heearnestly pressed me to retain the same sentiments of the things oflife that I had when I had a view of eternity; and at the end of alltold me I should not conclude that all was over, that a reprieve wasnot a pardon, that he could not yet answer for the effects of it;however, I had this mercy, that I had more time given me, and that itwas my business to improve that time.
This discourse, though very seasonable, left a kind of sadness on myheart, as if I might expect the affair would have a tragical issuestill, which, however, he had no certainty of; and I did not indeed, atthat time, question him about it, he having said that he would do hisutmost to bring it to a good end, and that he hoped he might, but hewould not have me be secure; and the consequence proved that he hadreason for what he said.
It was about a fortnight after this that I had some just apprehensionsthat I should be included in the next dead warrant at the ensuingsessions; and it was not without great difficulty, and at last a humblepetition for transportation, that I avoided it, so ill was I beholdingto fame, and so prevailing was the fatal report of being an oldoffender; though in that they did not do me strict justice, for I wasnot in the sense of the law an old offender, whatever I was in the eyeof the judge, for I had never been before them in a judicial waybefore; so the judges could not charge me with being an old offender,but the Recorder was pleased to represent my case as he thought fit.
I had now a certainty of life indeed, but with the hard conditions ofbeing ordered for transportation, which indeed was hard condition initself, but not when comparatively considered; and therefore I shallmake no comments upon the sentence, nor upon the choice I was put to.We shall all choose anything rather than death, especially when 'tisattended with an uncomfortable prospect beyond it, which was my case.
The good minister, whose interest, though a stranger to me, hadobtained me the reprieve, mourned sincerely for this part. He was inhopes, he said, that I should have ended my days under the influence ofgood instruction, that I should not have been turned loose again amongsuch a wretched crew as they generally are, who are thus sent abroad,where, as he said, I must have more than ordinary secret assistancefrom the grace of God, if I did not turn as wicked again as ever.
I have not for a good while mentioned my governess, who had duringmost, if not all, of this part been dangerously sick, and being in asnear a view of death by her disease as I was by my sentence, was agreat penitent--I say, I have not mentioned her, nor indeed did I seeher in all this time; but being now recovering, and just able to comeabroad, she came to see me.
I told her my condition, and what a different flux and reflux of tearsand hopes I had been agitated with; I told her what I had escaped, andupon what terms; and she was present when the minister expressed hisfears of my relapsing into wickedness upon my falling into the wretchedcompanies that are generally transported. Indeed I had a melancholyreflection upon it in my own mind, for I knew what a dreadful gang wasalways sent away together, and I said to my governess that the goodminister's fears were not without cause. 'Well, well,' says she, 'butI hope you will not be tempted with such a horrid example as that.' Andas soon as the minister was gone, she told me she would not have mediscouraged, for perhaps ways and means might be found out to disposeof me in a particular way, by myself, of which she would talk furtherto me afterward.
I looked earnestly at her, and I thought she looked more cheerful thanshe usually had done, and I entertained immediately a thousand notionsof being delivered, but could not for my life image the methods, orthink of one that was in the least feasible; but I was too muchconcerned in it to let her go from me without explaining herself,which, though she was very loth to do, yet my importunity prevailed,and, while I was still pressing, she answered me in a few words, thus:'Why, you have money, have you not? Did you ever know one in your lifethat was transported and had a hundred pounds in his pocket, I'llwarrant you, child?' says she.
I understood her presently, but told her I would leave all that to her,but I saw no room to hope for anything but a strict execution of theorder, and as it was a severity that was esteemed a mercy, there was nodoubt but it would be strictly observed. She said no more but this:'We will try what can be done,' and so we parted for that night.
I lay in the prison near fifteen weeks after this order fortransportation was signed. What the reason of it was, I know not, butat the end of this time I was put on board of a ship in the Thames, andwith me a gang of thirteen as hardened vile creatures as ever Newgateproduced in my time; and it would really well take up a history longerthan mine to describe the degrees of impudence and audacious villainythat those thirteen were arrived to, and the manner of their behaviourin the voyage; of which I have a very diverting account by me, whichthe captain of the ship who carried them over gave me the minutes of,and which he caused his mate to write down at large.
It may perhaps be thought trifling to enter here into a relation of allthe little incidents which attended me in this interval of mycircumstances; I mean, between the final order of my transportation andthe time of my going on board the ship; and I am too near the end of mystory to allow room for it; but something relating to me and myLancashire husband I must not omit.
He had, as I have observed already, been carried from the master's sideof the ordinary prison into the press-yard, with three of his comrades,for they found another to add to them after some time; here, for whatreason I knew not, they were kept in custody without being brought totrial almost three months. It seems they found means to bribe or buyoff some of those who were expected to come in against them, and theywanted evidence for some time to convict them. After some puzzle onthis account, at first they made a shift to get proof enough againsttwo of them to carry them off; but the other two, of which myLancashire husband was one, lay still in suspense. They had, I think,one positive evidence against each of them, but the law strictlyobliging them to have two witnesses, they could make nothing of it.Yet it seems they were resolved not to part with the men neither, notdoubting but a further evidence would at last come in; and in order tothis, I think publication was made, that such prisoners being taken,any one that had been robbed by them might come to the prison and seethem.
I took this opportunity to satisfy my curiosity, pretending that I hadbeen robbed in the Dunstable coach, and that I would go to see the twohighwaymen. But when I came into the press-yard, I so disguisedmyself, and muffled my face up so, that he could see little of me, andconsequently knew nothing of who I was; and when I came back, I saidpublicly that I knew them very well.
Immediately it was rumoured all over the prison that Moll Flanderswould turn evidence against one of the highwaymen, and that I was tocome off by it from the sentence of transportation.
They heard of it, and immediately my husband desired to see this Mrs.Flanders that knew him so well, and was to
be an evidence against him;and accordingly I had leave given to go to him. I dressed myself up aswell as the best clothes that I suffered myself ever to appear in therewould allow me, and went to the press-yard, but had for some time ahood over my face. He said little to me at first, but asked me if Iknew him. I told him, Yes, very well; but as I concealed my face, so Icounterfeited my voice, that he had not the least guess at who I was.He asked me where I had seen him. I told him between Dunstable andBrickhill; but turning to the keeper that stood by, I asked if I mightnot be admitted to talk with him alone. He said Yes, yes, as much as Ipleased, and so very civilly withdrew.
As soon as he was gone, I had shut the door, I threw off my hood, andbursting out into tears, 'My dear,' says I, 'do you not know me?' Heturned pale, and stood speechless, like one thunderstruck, and, notable to conquer the surprise, said no more but this, 'Let me sit down';and sitting down by a