by Daniel Defoe
naked and empty, unless I had resolved to return to my old tradeagain, had been worse than my transportation, because there I knew Icould live, here I could not. The good minister stood very hard onanother account to prevent my being transported also; but he wasanswered, that indeed my life had been given me at his firstsolicitations, and therefore he ought to ask no more. He was sensiblygrieved at my going, because, as he said, he feared I should lose thegood impressions which a prospect of death had at first made on me, andwhich were since increased by his instructions; and the pious gentlemanwas exceedingly concerned about me on that account.
On the other hand, I really was not so solicitous about it as I wasbefore, but I industriously concealed my reasons for it from theminister, and to the last he did not know but that I went with theutmost reluctance and affliction.
It was in the month of February that I was, with seven other convicts,as they called us, delivered to a merchant that traded to Virginia, onboard a ship, riding, as they called it, in Deptford Reach. Theofficer of the prison delivered us on board, and the master of thevessel gave a discharge for us.
We were for that night clapped under hatches, and kept so close that Ithought I should have been suffocated for want of air; and the nextmorning the ship weighed, and fell down the river to a place they callBugby's Hole, which was done, as they told us, by the agreement of themerchant, that all opportunity of escape should be taken from us.However, when the ship came thither and cast anchor, we were allowedmore liberty, and particularly were permitted to come up on the deck,but not up on the quarter-deck, that being kept particularly for thecaptain and for passengers.
When by the noise of the men over my head, and the motion of the ship,I perceived that they were under sail, I was at first greatlysurprised, fearing we should go away directly, and that our friendswould not be admitted to see us any more; but I was easy soon after,when I found they had come to an anchor again, and soon after that wehad notice given by some of the men where we were, that the nextmorning we should have the liberty to come up on deck, and to have ourfriends come and see us if we had any.
All that night I lay upon the hard boards of the deck, as thepassengers did, but we had afterwards the liberty of little cabins forsuch of us as had any bedding to lay in them, and room to stow any boxor trunk for clothes and linen, if we had it (which might well be putin), for some of them had neither shirt nor shift or a rag of linen orwoollen, but what was on their backs, or a farthing of money to helpthemselves; and yet I did not find but they fared well enough in theship, especially the women, who got money from the seamen for washingtheir clothes, sufficient to purchase any common things that theywanted.
When the next morning we had the liberty to come up on the deck, Iasked one of the officers of the ship, whether I might not have theliberty to send a letter on shore, to let my friends know where theship lay, and to get some necessary things sent to me. This was, itseems, the boatswain, a very civil, courteous sort of man, who told meI should have that, or any other liberty that I desired, that he couldallow me with safety. I told him I desired no other; and he answeredthat the ship's boat would go up to London the next tide, and he wouldorder my letter to be carried.
Accordingly, when the boat went off, the boatswain came to me and toldme the boat was going off, and that he went in it himself, and asked meif my letter was ready he would take care of it. I had preparedmyself, you may be sure, pen, ink, and paper beforehand, and I hadgotten a letter ready directed to my governess, and enclosed anotherfor my fellow-prisoner, which, however, I did not let her know was myhusband, not to the last. In that to my governess, I let her knowwhere the ship lay, and pressed her earnestly to send me what things Iknew she had got ready for me for my voyage.
When I gave the boatswain the letter, I gave him a shilling with it,which I told him was for the charge of a messenger or porter, which Ientreated him to send with the letter as soon as he came on shore, thatif possible I might have an answer brought back by the same hand, thatI might know what was become of my things; 'for sir,' says I, 'if theship should go away before I have them on board, I am undone.'
I took care, when I gave him the shilling, to let him see that I had alittle better furniture about me than the ordinary prisoners, for hesaw that I had a purse, and in it a pretty deal of money; and I foundthat the very sight of it immediately furnished me with very differenttreatment from what I should otherwise have met with in the ship; forthough he was very courteous indeed before, in a kind of naturalcompassion to me, as a woman in distress, yet he was more thanordinarily so afterwards, and procured me to be better treated in theship than, I say, I might otherwise have been; as shall appear in itsplace.
He very honestly had my letter delivered to my governess's own hands,and brought me back an answer from her in writing; and when he gave methe answer, gave me the shilling again. 'There,' says he, 'there'syour shilling again too, for I delivered the letter myself.' I couldnot tell what to say, I was so surprised at the thing; but after somepause, I said, 'Sir, you are too kind; it had been but reasonable thatyou had paid yourself coach-hire, then.'
'No, no,' says he, 'I am overpaid. What is the gentlewoman? Yoursister.'
'No, sir,' says I, 'she is no relation to me, but she is a dear friend,and all the friends I have in the world.' 'Well,' says he, 'there arefew such friends in the world. Why, she cried after you like a child,''Ay,' says I again, 'she would give a hundred pounds, I believe, todeliver me from this dreadful condition I am in.'
'Would she so?' says he. 'For half the money I believe I could put youin a way how to deliver yourself.' But this he spoke softly, thatnobody could hear.
'Alas! sir,' said I, 'but then that must be such a deliverance as, if Ishould be taken again, would cost me my life.' 'Nay,' said he, 'if youwere once out of the ship, you must look to yourself afterwards; that Ican say nothing to.' So we dropped the discourse for that time.
In the meantime, my governess, faithful to the last moment, conveyed myletter to the prison to my husband, and got an answer to it, and thenext day came down herself to the ship, bringing me, in the firstplace, a sea-bed as they call it, and all its furniture, such as wasconvenient, but not to let the people think it was extraordinary. Shebrought with her a sea-chest--that is, a chest, such as are made forseamen, with all the conveniences in it, and filled with everythingalmost that I could want; and in one of the corners of the chest, wherethere was a private drawer, was my bank of money--this is to say, somuch of it as I had resolved to carry with me; for I ordered a part ofmy stock to be left behind me, to be sent afterwards in such goods as Ishould want when I came to settle; for money in that country is not ofmuch use where all things are brought for tobacco, much more is it agreat loss to carry it from hence.
But my case was particular; it was by no means proper to me to gothither without money or goods, and for a poor convict, that was to besold as soon as I came on shore, to carry with me a cargo of goodswould be to have notice taken of it, and perhaps to have them seized bythe public; so I took part of my stock with me thus, and left the otherpart with my governess.
My governess brought me a great many other things, but it was notproper for me to look too well provided in the ship, at least till Iknew what kind of a captain we should have. When she came into theship, I thought she would have died indeed; her heart sank at the sightof me, and at the thoughts of parting with me in that condition, andshe cried so intolerably, I could not for a long time have any talkwith her.
I took that time to read my fellow-prisoner's letter, which, however,greatly perplexed me. He told me he was determined to go, but found itwould be impossible for him to be discharged time enough for going inthe same ship, and which was more than all, he began to questionwhether they would give him leave to go in what ship he pleased, thoughhe did voluntarily transport himself; but that they would see him puton board such a ship as they should direct, and that he would becharged upon the captain as other convict prisoners were; so that hebegan to be in despair
of seeing me till he came to Virginia, whichmade him almost desperate; seeing that, on the other hand, if I shouldnot be there, if any accident of the sea or of mortality should take meaway, he should be the most undone creature there in the world.
This was very perplexing, and I knew not what course to take. I toldmy governess the story of the boatswain, and she was mighty eager withme treat with him; but I had no mind to it, till I heard whether myhusband, or fellow-prisoner, so she called him, could be at liberty togo with me or no. At last I was forced to let her into the wholematter, except only that of his being my husband. I told her I hadmade a positive bargain or agreement with him to go, if he could getthe liberty of going in the same ship, and that I found he had money.
Then I read a long lecture to her of what I proposed to do when we