by Daniel Defoe
him, as it were, for thepurchase of these two servants, my husband and me, and there we wereformally sold to him, and went ashore with him. The captain went withus, and carried us to a certain house, whether it was to be called atavern or not I know not, but we had a bowl of punch there made of rum,etc., and were very merry. After some time the planter gave us acertificate of discharge, and an acknowledgment of having served himfaithfully, and we were free from him the next morning, to go wither wewould.
For this piece of service the captain demanded of us six thousandweight of tabacco, which he said he was accountable for to hisfreighter, and which we immediately bought for him, and made him apresent of twenty guineas besides, with which he was abundantlysatisfied.
It is not proper to enter here into the particulars of what part of thecolony of Virginia we settled in, for divers reasons; it may suffice tomention that we went into the great river Potomac, the ship being boundthither; and there we intended to have settled first, though afterwardswe altered our minds.
The first thing I did of moment after having gotten all our goods onshore, and placed them in a storehouse, or warehouse, which, with alodging, we hired at the small place or village where we landed--I say,the first thing was to inquire after my mother, and after my brother(that fatal person whom I married as a husband, as I have related atlarge). A little inquiry furnished me with information that Mrs. ----,that is, my mother, was dead; that my brother (or husband) was alive,which I confess I was not very glad to hear; but which was worse, Ifound he was removed from the plantation where he lived formerly, andwhere I lived with him, and lived with one of his sons in a plantationjust by the place where we landed, and where we had hired a warehouse.
I was a little surprised at first, but as I ventured to satisfy myselfthat he could not know me, I was not only perfectly easy, but had agreat mind to see him, if it was possible to so do without his seeingme. In order to that I found out by inquiry the plantation where helived, and with a woman of that place whom I got to help me, like whatwe call a chairwoman, I rambled about towards the place as if I hadonly a mind to see the country and look about me. At last I came sonear that I saw the dwellinghouse. I asked the woman whose plantationthat was; she said it belonged to such a man, and looking out a littleto our right hands, 'there,' says she, is the gentleman that owns theplantation, and his father with him.' 'What are their Christiannames?' said I. 'I know not,' says she, 'what the old gentleman's nameis, but the son's name is Humphrey; and I believe,' says she, 'thefather's is so too.' You may guess, if you can, what a confusedmixture of joy and fight possessed my thoughts upon this occasion, forI immediately knew that this was nobody else but my own son, by thatfather she showed me, who was my own brother. I had no mask, but Iruffled my hood so about my face, that I depended upon it that afterabove twenty years' absence, and withal not expecting anything of me inthat part of the world, he would not be able to know anything of me.But I need not have used all that caution, for the old gentleman wasgrown dim-sighted by some distemper which had fallen upon his eyes, andcould but just see well enough to walk about, and not run against atree or into a ditch. The woman that was with me had told me that by amere accident, knowing nothing of what importance it was to me. Asthey drew near to us, I said, 'Does he know you, Mrs. Owen?' (so theycalled the woman). 'Yes,' said she, 'if he hears me speak, he willknow me; but he can't see well enough to know me or anybody else'; andso she told me the story of his sight, as I have related. This made mesecure, and so I threw open my hoods again, and let them pass by me.It was a wretched thing for a mother thus to see her own son, ahandsome, comely young gentleman in flourishing circumstances, anddurst not make herself known to him, and durst not take any notice ofhim. Let any mother of children that reads this consider it, and butthink with what anguish of mind I restrained myself; what yearnings ofsoul I had in me to embrace him, and weep over him; and how I thoughtall my entrails turned within me, that my very bowels moved, and I knewnot what to do, as I now know not how to express those agonies! Whenhe went from me I stood gazing and trembling, and looking after him aslong as I could see him; then sitting down to rest me, but turned fromher, and lying on my face, wept, and kissed the ground that he had sethis foot on.
I could not conceal my disorder so much from the woman but that sheperceived it, and thought I was not well, which I was obliged topretend was true; upon which she pressed me to rise, the ground beingdamp and dangerous, which I did accordingly, and walked away.
As I was going back again, and still talking of this gentleman and hisson, a new occasion of melancholy offered itself thus. The womanbegan, as if she would tell me a story to divert me: 'There goes,' saysshe, 'a very odd tale among the neighbours where this gentlemanformerly live.' 'What was that?' said I. 'Why,' says she, 'that oldgentleman going to England, when he was a young man, fell in love witha young lady there, one of the finest women that ever was seen, andmarried her, and brought her over hither to his mother who was thenliving. He lived here several years with her,' continued she, 'and hadseveral children by her, of which the young gentleman that was with himnow was one; but after some time, the old gentlewoman, his mother,talking to her of something relating to herself when she was inEngland, and of her circumstances in England, which were bad enough,the daughter-in-law began to be very much surprised and uneasy; and, inshort, examining further into things, it appeared past allcontradiction that the old gentlewoman was her own mother, and thatconsequently that son was his wife's own brother, which struck thewhole family with horror, and put them into such confusion that it hadalmost ruined them all. The young woman would not live with him; theson, her brother and husband, for a time went distracted; and at lastthe young woman went away for England, and has never been heard ofsince.'
It is easy to believe that I was strangely affected with this story,but 'tis impossible to describe the nature of my disturbance. I seemedastonished at the story, and asked her a thousand questions about theparticulars, which I found she was thoroughly acquainted with. At lastI began to inquire into the circumstances of the family, how the oldgentlewoman, I mean my mother, died, and how she left what she had; formy mother had promised me very solemnly, that when she died she woulddo something for me, and leave it so, as that, if I was living, Ishould one way or other come at it, without its being in the power ofher son, my brother and husband, to prevent it. She told me she didnot know exactly how it was ordered, but she had been told that mymother had left a sum of money, and had tied her plantation for thepayment of it, to be made good to the daughter, if ever she could beheard of, either in England or elsewhere; and that the trust was leftwith this son, who was the person that we saw with his father.
This was news too good for me to make light of, and, you may be sure,filled my heart with a thousand thoughts, what course I should take,how, and when, and in what manner I should make myself known, orwhether I should ever make myself know or no.
Here was a perplexity that I had not indeed skill to manage myself in,neither knew I what course to take. It lay heavy upon my mind nightand day. I could neither sleep nor converse, so that my husbandperceived it, and wondered what ailed me, strove to divert me, but itwas all to no purpose. He pressed me to tell him what it was troubledme, but I put it off, till at last, importuning me continually, I wasforced to form a story, which yet had a plain truth to lay it upon too.I told him I was troubled because I found we must shift our quartersand alter our scheme of settling, for that I found I should be known ifI stayed in that part of the country; for that my mother being dead,several of my relations were come into that part where we then was, andthat I must either discover myself to them, which in our presentcircumstances was not proper on many accounts, or remove; and which todo I knew not, and that this it was that made me so melancholy and sothoughtful.
He joined with me in this, that it was by no means proper for me tomake myself known to anybody in the circumstances in which we thenwere; and therefore he told me he would be willing to remove to anyother part of
the country, or even to any other country if I thoughtfit. But now I had another difficulty, which was, that if I removed toany other colony, I put myself out of the way of ever making a duesearch after those effects which my mother had left. Again I couldnever so much as think of breaking the secret of my former marriage tomy new husband; it was not a story, as I thought, that would beartelling, nor could I tell what might be the consequences of it; and itwas impossible to search into the bottom of the thing without making itpublic all over the country, as well who I was, as what I now was also.
In this perplexity I continued a great while, and this made my spousevery uneasy; for he found me perplexed, and yet thought I was not openwith him, and did not let him into every part of my grievance; and hewould often say, he wondered what he had done that I