by A A Mize
“Matthias,” Rowan began, “You need to apologize for what you said. I know you meant no harm, but you must understand that Sophie lost a loved one and your comment was hurtful. Rachel was not just prey. You know that now. I hate that you had to learn what effect you can have on others in such a harsh way, but I suggest you take it as an opportunity to become a better individual.”
Matthias didn’t speak but when she heard him walk across the room toward the door she stepped away from the window and out toward the street. Under the gallery, the pair stood in silence.
“Soph... there’s nothing I can say to you to make you feel better. I’ve done so much wrong by you and you’ve stuck by me anyway. I didn’t mean to make it sound like Rachel was just prey. I know you loved her and I’m sorry for the part I played in all of this.”
“I forgive you,” Sophie replied quietly.
“I didn’t ask for your forgiveness, Sophie. I don’t deserve it.”
“I’m not forgiving you to make you feel better, Matthias.” Sophie exhaled, her breath white on the winter wind. “I’m forgiving you because I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you’re innocent, but a part of me is still upset that you lied to me. You brought me here like you wanted to help me but really you just wanted to cover your own ass. But even after all of that, I don’t want to be mad at you. It’s only been a few weeks, but I see a huge change in you and I don’t want to be angry with you over something that happened in the past. I know it’s complicated. I’m not even sure how I feel about all of this, but I do know that no matter what happened then, you’re my friend now. I’m not really ready to give that up.”
Rain began to fall again, the sky dark with clouds even though Sophie was sure the sun should have begun to peek out already. Her first thought was of Matthias. He was safe as long as the clouds remained and with the way it looked, they would be around for a while. She reached a hand out to feel the cold rain on her palm and forced a smile. “We used to play in the rain.”
“Hmm?”
“Rachel, Anna, and I. Playing tag in the rain was Rachel’s favorite game when we were kids. She liked sliding around in the mud.” Tears welled up in her eyes, but she didn’t want to break down again.
Sophie turned to him and held out her wet hand to him, her face practically emotionless. He stared at the outstretched hand in a moment of hesitation before reaching out to take it. Instead, she slapped it away with a wide grin.
“Tag,” she said, her voice nearly cracking with tears. Then she ran down the street. Matthias stood in a daze for a moment before giving chase. Soon they were playing, pushing aside the world’s strife to simply exist for a short time.
Rowan watched quietly out the window of his study as Matthias and Sophie played in the street. He could see them pushing, tagging one another, then running out of view under the gallery. The pair were soaked and most likely cold, but they didn’t seem to care. Rowan could clearly hear them laughing but he made no expression toward their horseplay.
Samiell sipped his tea. “She’ll catch her death out there.”
Rowan knew the old man was trying to lure him into talking about his relationship with Sophie, but it was to be expected. After all, Rowan hadn’t been terribly fond of humans for as long as he’d known Samiell and having one living in his house was a matter of great curiosity for the Notary.
“That’s her choice,” Rowan responded, though it wasn’t exactly what he was thinking. His pale hands braced upon the sides of the French doors to the gallery, black hair loose and hanging down across his shoulders as he watched Sophie chase Matthias farther down the street. Humans passed them on the sidewalk, either shaking their heads at the childish display, or laughing along with them. A couple of them even joined the game for a moment before continuing on their way.
“Amazing isn’t it? How they can play at a time like this. She’s still looking for her cousin’s murderer and he was just attacked by an assassin a few days past. And yet, they frolic in the rain like children without a care in the world.” Samiell smiled. “Either they’re crazy or we are.”
“She’s a human and he was Turned not long ago. They are closer to childhood than either of us have been in centuries. Perhaps they haven’t forgotten how to enjoy such simple things,” Rowan said dismissively.
“Have you offered the gift to her?” Samiell asked, turning the cup in his knobby fingers. He had come to refer to being Turned as a gift, though many Turned didn’t think of it that way. Maybe Samiell knew something the others didn’t.
“Yes.”
“And she refused?”
“Of course she did. Who would choose this life knowing what it brings?”
“I see,” Samiell said. The older Turned stood and took a place beside Rowan at the door to watch Matthias and Sophie play in the rain. “Did she give you a reason for declining this eternal life of ours?”
Rowan watched Sophie as she swung herself around a metal balcony support across the street, her face lighting up in the warm glow of a streetlight. She had fallen in love with New Orleans in a way that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It reminded him of how he used to feel about the city…about the Quarter. Sophie lived to the beat of its heart, touched the rusted metal and worn wood as if it were a lover. Not that she didn’t also see its grit, she just made a conscious decision to love it anyway.
As for why she declined his offer, it was because of Rowan himself. If she hadn’t known him and had only seen being Turned for what Matthias made it, her opinion might not have been so harsh.
“She feels this life is a lonely one.”
“And what will be done about her, then?” Samiell asked, placing his hands behind his back and watching out the window as the two youngsters played. “She can’t stay here forever. Keeping ties with her will only cause trouble in the long run.”
“There are plenty of humans who know of us. How would she be any different?” Rowan eyed the Elder curiously.
“While it’s true that there are humans that know of the Turned, you must remember that you are able to stay here so long because you are a Leader. You have no ties to humans in this place. You can move about freely by yourself, or when and if Matthias returns, he could live with you. But what about Sophie? When she is seen with you all the time, aging while you remain the same? She is human. Even if she lives with you, her life will never truly cross yours. She will learn quickly that there is no point in loving you, as you will never grow old with her. Then she’ll get her own friends. Human friends. A lover, maybe. A husband. Eventually, she will leave on her own, but by then, how much damage will be done to you? Her friends would know you. Are you willing to risk your freedom to move about as a shadow? For what? The love of a human?”
Silence passed between the two.
“She doesn’t love me, old man,” Rowan eventually stated coolly. “Besides, I suppose she will go with Matthias when he leaves. They are rather close and if they leave together she will no longer be my problem.”
Samiell chuckled and shook his head, clapping his gnarled hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You really are a dense one, Rowan. Thick as stone, I say. Tell me, friend…had Sophie accepted your offer and become like us, what would you have named her?”
“I had no name chosen for her.”
“Don’t lie to me, son. You had a name for her. You aren’t one to enter into that sort of pact without at least some preparation.”
Rowan refused to look at the Notary. Instead, he kept his eyes on Sophie, who was hand in hand with Matthias, spinning in circles with him. As they spun, her dark hair created a halo of water around them. Quietly he gave his answer.
“Evangeline.”
Only an hour later, Rowan bid farewell to Samiell and Sarah before retiring to his study. There he lay in silence on the antique couch, one arm draped over his eyes as he listened to Matthias and Sophie. One at a time they took showers, warming up from their game in the rain and soon they headed up th
e stairs to sleep for the day. All three of them were off the next night and although Rowan felt he couldn’t sleep, there was an air of relaxation in the knowledge that they could all rest until their bodies were ready.
A gentle knock on the door surprised him, eliciting a small jump. The sound of a heartbeat from the other side of the old door told him it was Sophie who was requesting entry.
“Come in,” Rowan said, sitting up as Sophie peeked around the door, her hair hanging in heavy, wet strands around her face.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” she asked.
“Not at all. I was just...resting,” Rowan replied. “Did you need something?”
“No, I just wanted to say thank you. For trying to get to the bottom of what happened to Rachel. I know you have your own reasons for doing it, but I wanted to say thanks anyway.”
“Ah, I see. Although I feel I hardly deserve your thanks, I accept it. You’re welcome.” Rowan bowed his head graciously. “You should sleep now, Sophie. You’ll need your rest. I have a feeling that we are far from out of the woods yet.”
“Yeah.” Sophie nodded, her fingers gripping the door handle tightly. Sleep well,” she said, closing the door before he could respond, leaving Rowan sitting on the edge of his couch, staring at the place she had been.
Rowan rose from his seat and crossed the room to his desk, pulling out the leather journal. He didn’t feel like writing, but he had to do something to occupy himself, even for a short time, and so he set pen to paper.
Samiell and Sarah have gone for the day, promising to return later. Matthias and Sophie will surely be asleep soon, tired out by work and their little escapade in the rain. But for all my exhaustion, I can’t sleep.
Samiell brought up a point I hadn’t given much thought to recently. Since Sophie arrived I have wanted to solve her cousin’s murder, not only for Matthias’s sake, but to get her out of my house. But now that we seem to be getting closer to closing this case, I have realized that my growing attachment to Sophie has become an issue. Samiell is right when he says that she can’t stay here. Keeping her around too long can only cause problems for me in the long run.
It is possible for me to keep in touch with her via cell phone, e-mail, and the like, but is that wise? I hate to admit that I’ve become quite fond of Sophie and I fear allowing said attachment to continue can only end in pain. She will either do as Samiell stated and realize her world does not mesh with mine as they seem to do on the surface and leave, or I will have to suffer through watching her grow old. And what of her? To love someone that will never age? No, it’s best to cut ties entirely before this goes too far.
It would be best if I tell her as soon as possible. If I can.
Rowan couldn’t write another word. He let his eyes wander to a small hook on his desk where the pendant Sophie had given him hung motionless. He lay down the pen and traced the surface of the crescent moon with his fingertips, removing it from the hook where it had hung for days, untouched. There would always be something of Sophie with him, even if it was just a small trinket. He clasped the chain at the nape of his neck, tucking the cool metal under his shirt. No one had to know.
37
Sophie woke that night without an alarm, feeling refreshed. She yawned and stretched in the four-poster bed, allowing herself a small grin. The house was quiet for the most part; the silence only disturbed by the faint sound of people talking downstairs. They had been expecting Samiell and Sarah back to discuss some things, so she rolled out of bed to get ready for the evening.
It wasn’t until she was dressed and walking out onto the landing that she realized something was wrong. Rowan and Matthias seemed to be in a heated debate at the bottom of the stairs, and as Sophie rounded the top of the landing, she could see Rowan at the foot of the stairs donning his coat. Matthias blocked the door, a determined look in his eyes. Quietly, she descended the stairs; unaware as to the situation that was causing such tension. Rowan stepped up to his Pupil and looked up at the larger man, to which Matthias flinched.
“Move, Matthias. I don’t have time for this,” Rowan said, his voice verging on irritation.
“Take me with you. I can help,” Matthias insisted.
“No. You need to stay here with Sophie and the others. Artashir is meeting me in the Square. He’s all the help I need.”
“What’s going on?” Sophie asked, taking another tentative step down the stairs.
Rowan looked up at her, his nimble fingers buttoning his coat as he spoke. “The police are having trouble with a few Rogues and it’s my responsibility to take care of any that enter the Quarter. I’ll be back shortly.” His dark eyes moved to the living room where Samiell sat in Rowan’s chair, calmly watching the group in the hall. “Samiell, my apologies, but our conversation will have to wait until I return.”
The old man nodded, waving a gnarled hand in dismissal. “We’ll be here.”
Sophie made no move, even when Rowan met her gaze once more. He had never looked her in the eye as long before and she wondered if he was peering into her mind as well. The thought caused her to blink and look away, though she could feel him watching her for a moment before he turned to leave. This time, Matthias moved out of the way, reluctantly.
“If you’re not back in an hour, I’m coming for you,” Matthias said firmly.
Rowan regarded the boy then nodded his understanding. Matthias was a different person than he had been only a few weeks before and Rowan seemed to be taking it easy on the sarcastic remarks toward him. Sophie wasn’t sure but she wondered if it was because he was trying to let Matthias grow instead of shooting him down all the time. He passed his Pupil and started off down the street, stopping when Sophie called out to him.
“Wait,” she said, closing the door behind her. A cool winter breeze made her shiver and pull her arms in tight around herself and Rowan’s eyes shifted down to her bare feet on the wet sidewalk. Before he could protest, she reached up and tentatively touched his cheek. “You’re cold. When was the last time you fed?”
Rowan hesitated. “I’ll be fine.”
“Why do you do that?” Sophie asked, withdrawing her hand from him. “Matthias says he feeds almost every day, but you...he says you might only feed a few times a week. Are you trying to starve yourself of something?”
Rowan shook his head, an understanding grin curving his lips. “No. Matthias feeds often because he is still new. Still young. Someday it won’t be as necessary.”
“But it affects you right? Makes you cold or weak?”
“If you’re worried I won’t return, there is no reason to feel that way. I am no delicate thing. Now go inside. I have work to do.” Without another word Rowan turned away and didn’t look back.
Sophie remained still for a moment, watching him until he turned at the end of the block before retreating to the warmth of the house. She leaned back against the door, a nagging feeling in her gut.
“Bolt the lock and come away from the door, child,” Samiell called from the living room.
Sophie obeyed and joined the Notary, Matthias, and Sarah in the living room. She took a place on the couch beside Matthias as Sarah pulled the curtains closed, careful to block any view to the street outside.
“There are Rogues about. It’s not safe to stay too close to the doors and windows,” Samiell explained. “Would you like some more tea?”
“No, thank you,” Sophie said, wondering if Rowan would really be all right out there.
“You seem worried,” Samiell observed.
“Don’t be,” Matthias stated bluntly, propping a foot up on the coffee table. “Rowan can handle himself.”
“And you’ve seen Artashir, haven’t you?” Sarah asked, a grin on her pink lips.
“Yeah, I’ve seen him before,” Sophie said with a nod, picking at her nails. “So...what are they doing exactly?”
“They’re protecting the Quarter. Chasing off Rogues or possibly even killing them. Whichever Rowan feels is necessary. Hopefully he catches t
hem before they kill anyone or produce Bastards,” Samiell explained calmly, sipping his tea as if he had only repeated some mundane bit of news. “No offense, my dear boy,” he added to the end, his statement directed to Matthias.
“None taken,” Matthias said.
“What’s a Bastard?” Sophie asked.
“A Turned with no Mentor,” Matthias explained. “Sometimes Rogues turn humans just to cause trouble. When a new Turned is made, they die within a few minutes and are reborn in a sense. If you don’t have a Mentor to wake to, you have no idea what the hunger you feel is called and blood lust ensues. A new Turned can be pretty dangerous if they don’t have someone to guide them from the start. I’m technically a Bastard. Rowan is my Mentor, but he didn’t create me. Some Rogue did. Rowan just spared me because...well, no one knows that but Rowan.”
“Does he spare many Bastards?” Sophie asked.
“No,” Samiell answered. “Sparing a Bastard means taking them on as a Pupil and Rowan has only made one Pupil in his life as a Turned. It’s a heavy burden, to be a Mentor. He was in love with Yvette when he made her, but I have no idea why he changed his mind with Matthias. He had his reasons, I’m sure. I mean, just look at Matthias’s name. It means, ‘Gift from God.’ Rowan must have a good reason for taking him as his own, even if we don’t understand it.”
“‘Gift from God?’” Matthias scoffed. “I’m sure he had his reasons back then, but I think he has doubts now.”
“Nonsense,” Samiell huffed. “Rowan is a strange one. He’s cold and stern on the outside, but it’s only a mask to cover his true feelings. I don’t know why he saved you, Matthias, only he can know that, and perhaps there have been times when he regretted his decision, but I also know that he cares for you as his own—and you, Sophie. Somehow the two of you have softened a part of him that he’s long neglected, although he may never say as much.”