I then began to unpack the way we should be treating one another, not only in person but online—through comments, posts, tweets, and replies. It’s easy to stay civil when we’re face-to-face with someone, but our behavior often changes behind the safety of an online profile and screen. We live in a world full of clashing opinions and beliefs, and I often wonder if we fall short in living out love to those we disagree with.
I took a step back on the stage, grabbed a drumstick, and then pulled up a cymbal and stand to the left of my table. I paused for a moment. Then, still teaching my message on love, I abruptly changed my words into rude and cruel remarks, crashing the drumstick onto the cymbal while continuing as if nothing were happening.
“My opinion on immigration is . . .” *crashing cymbals*
“My opinion on politics is . . .” *crashing cymbals*
“My opinion on marriage is . . .” *crashing cymbals*
“My opinion on abortion is . . .” *crashing cymbals*
When I stepped out from behind the cymbal stand, I asked if everyone had heard everything I had said in the last few minutes. Some of them laughed. Some of them said, “Amen.” Some of them still had their hands over their ears in case I smacked the cymbal again. They’d gotten the point.
If we aren’t speaking in love, nobody is going to hear what we are saying, no matter how truthful or important it might be. They’re not going to listen to us or respect us. And yes, our world is certainly full of crashing cymbals, many of whom don’t know God’s love, so the urge to act this way makes sense. But many of us who call ourselves Christians fall into the trap of sharing our opinions in a way that is unloving.
We can’t love others without the love of God. The love of God is kind and compassionate. No matter how deep or truthful we may think our words are, if we’re speaking and acting without love, no one can hear us. Anything said without love isn’t worth saying at all. Anything done without love isn’t worth doing at all. And you can imagine what it must feel like for those being criticized by people who think they are doing so in “love,” when really it’s just out of a misplaced sense of pride or superiority or judgment. Those being criticized hear nothing but the crashing of cymbals. But the moment love enters the picture, the clanging stops. Our voices become clear. Our words become valuable again.
Paul continued:
If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
1 CORINTHIANS 13:2-3
Without love, nothing matters—not speaking in tongues or having the gift of prophecy or possessing all knowledge or even having faith that could move mountains. We could know all sorts of things about God, listen to all the sermons we can get our hands on, write books, be the best worship leader or teacher or preacher—but if we do any of those things without love, nothing matters. It’s all a waste of time. It’s possible to act spiritually and say you follow God but be nothing more than a fake, a Pharisee, a love-heretic. God sees people doing it daily.
Without love, we can’t fulfill God’s calling for our lives. Without love, we can’t engage in the relationship that God yearns for. And without love, we can’t truly reflect God’s image at all. Try to think of a single person who is doing incredible things for the Kingdom of God without the love of God. That person doesn’t exist. Life without the love of God will let you down and lead you in the wrong direction. We were meant for a life empowered by love, in which God’s love affects every little thing we do.
Paul continued his love chorus, showing us exactly what this kind of love is supposed to look like—and what it doesn’t look like.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-12
Love is patience and kindness—no jealousy or boasting or rudeness or selfishness. Anything that keeps a record of wrongs or rejoices at injustice is not love. Love is said to endure every circumstance that life throws its way. If we plan on living a life of love, this is how we’re supposed to live.
I’ve always wondered about that last part of this group of verses. The spot where Paul said, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love” (verse 13). What does it mean that love is greater than faith or hope? Consider this: Love encapsulates faith and hope. Faith and hope make up the DNA of love.
“The greatest of these is love” because the greatest of these is God—and God is love. God is the essence of love itself. Without God—without love—we don’t have faith or hope. And because of God—because of our faith and hope—love should be the mission of our lives. Love is a weapon against the darkness and sorrow of the world. Love should be the anthem of our souls.
Love One Another
If love is the heartbeat of God, encapsulating everything about our faith and hope, then it shouldn’t be a surprise that the idea of offering that love to everyone we come across permeates Scripture. In fact, the word love can be found hundreds of times in the Bible. In the New Living Translation, it appears 759 times. That’s impressive. And let’s not forget the command to love our enemies that many find hard to swallow:
Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
LUKE 6:35, NIV
None of us really wants to love our enemies. If someone has hurt us, the last thing we want to do is to do good to that person. But that’s what God calls us to. And that’s what a woman named Mary Johnson did in the face of profound horror: the murder of her only child.[14]
At first, Mary hated the young man who murdered her son. Several years into his prison sentence, Mary decided to visit him. She soon saw that the boy she had met so many years ago was no longer that animal she once called him. So what did she do? She forgave him. “Unforgiveness is like cancer. It will eat you from the inside out,” she said in an interview with CBS.[15]
She could have stayed bitter, withdrawn, and angry. She could have held on to her hatred for her son’s killer, and frankly, nobody would have judged her for it. But she didn’t.
She continued to visit with the young man until he was released from prison seventeen years after being convicted, and then took him under her wing, becoming someone he called his second mom.
Love conquered the hate she had in her heart for her son’s killer. And this is what it means to love your enemy. Not just the people who annoy us, not just the people we don’t feel like loving—but the people who have affected our lives in painful and destructive ways. I know Satan hates hearing stories like Mary’s. Because once again, love won. And Mary’s story has encouraged others to show love and forgiveness toward their loved ones’ killers. Love is contagious. And it has the power to overcome so much darkness.
Our job as foll
owers of Jesus is to reflect an image of love to everyone around us—the same love that Jesus showed on a splintered plank of wood known as the cross. Without love we are meaningless. Without love we are without Jesus. Without love, the gospel isn’t truly the gospel at all. Jesus himself is the image we must seek to reflect, and our mission is to love because he first loved us.
We may not have to live out the extreme kind of love Jesus talked about in Luke 6, but we are called to love in every situation we face, no matter how easy or how hard. And every day we are given opportunities to show love. It doesn’t take much effort at all. Just think about how many people you see throughout your day—while getting coffee, filling up your gas tank, getting lunch, going to the bank, running errands. We encounter literally thousands of people whom we have the opportunity to love. And love is more about availability and less about skill or qualification. If you make yourself fully available to be used by God, you’ll constantly find yourself in the midst of opportunities to show his love.
I can’t begin to tell you how many people my wife and I eventually find ourselves calling friends simply because we said hi, held a door open for them at a restaurant, or offered encouragement in the midst of their bad day. Little acts of love make a big difference, but you’ll never know until you extend it. God’s love brings together people who would otherwise never spend time with one another. We need to seize every opportunity we can to reflect an image of love and kindness throughout our day and let God take care of the rest. We’re just the messengers. God is the orchestrator.
As Christians, we must learn to exude the image of God’s love through every facet of our lives. There’s no such thing as a private relationship with God. Personal, yes. Private, no. The biblical text is clear that our lives should be public, daily shows of God’s many beautiful characteristics. We’re not called to be flashy, but we are called to be proud of who we represent and call Lord.
You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.
MATTHEW 5:14-16
Just as we wouldn’t light a lamp and then cover it—diluting its sole purpose—as Christians, we aren’t supposed to keep the hope of Jesus hidden from the public eye. Not showing the love of Jesus to others would completely hamper us from fulfilling the great commission: to “make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19).
It just doesn’t make any sense to stay quiet in a world that parades darkness and deceit. Our faith was made to be public and outspoken. To be shared. To be discussed with those we come across. We are called to be shining examples of Christ in all that we do, no matter what we do, no matter where we are, no matter who we come into contact with.
Now, I understand strategic evangelism in countries where Christianity is illegal, but we, as Americans, really have no excuse to be silent. I’m not saying you need to be on the street corner with a banner that says I Love Jesus!, but I am saying you should have no issue letting people know who you’ve given your life to. We’re called to live unashamed to the fullest extent.
I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile.
ROMANS 1:16
When our lives get caught up in the beauty of the gospel, we realize our existence is no longer about us. Our vocation as Christ followers is to share the alluring and jaw-dropping beauty of the gospel.
If we dwell in this incredible love of God and believe what he’s told us through his Word, we shouldn’t want to or be able to contain it. God’s love should overflow. It should be so in and through us that it can’t help but spill out onto the people around us. And love—true, actual, without-strings-attached love—can change lives. You never know what a single act of kindness could do for someone. You never know what one action of love could actually mean for someone going through a tough time.
I guess I never really understood that until I met Tom.
It was a hot and muggy summer day in Southern California. I was visiting the mall for some reason I can’t remember—probably to get a new pair of shoes or meet up with some friends. As I headed back toward my car, I saw something leaning against a tree to my right—a person trying to find relief in the shade. He was an older gentleman, holding a small sign that read Anything Helps! Normally I would have handed him a five-dollar bill and continued on my merry way, but God had other plans.
The man sat there in the blazing sun, wearing tattered clothes, shoes that looked almost worn through, and a backpack that seemed too small to really be useful. His eyes were somber, his skin looked like leather, and he seemed fragile. It was easy to see that he was homeless and in need of some help. I suspected that he hadn’t had a warm meal in a long time.
I had probably been to that mall a thousand times, and while I had seen many others looking for a small handout, I didn’t recognize this man. As I continued toward my car, I tried to justify ignoring him. It’s not that I didn’t care about him or his needs; I just told myself that I was too busy to stop and that I’d make sure to pray for him later. It’s such a silly and immature response, especially for someone who calls himself a follower of Jesus.
We all do this, don’t we? We yearn for God to use us, but then we justify why we can’t engage in the opportunities he sends our way because they’re not quite convenient. When life is relatively easy and comfortable, as it is for so many of us who are Christians in America, we tend to lean more on our comforts than on the love of God. We want Jesus but on our time. We want to be used but only in ways we feel comfortable with. We want to change the world but need to take care of our own needs first. However, living out of love pushes us out of our comfort zone. Suddenly, we start seeing people as God sees them—and we can’t just pass by. But while I tried to get to my car without addressing the man leaning against the tree, something powerful impressed on my heart and redirected my steps toward him.
“Hey there!” I smiled and extended my hand. The man looked at me with a little confusion and said, “Hello there, sir.” He seemed to struggle to stretch his hand to me, and I noticed how mangled and malformed his hands looked. He later told me it was because of a combination of war injuries and progressive muscular dystrophy. I asked him for his name and how his day was. I figured that talking to him was good enough for today’s mission—when I was done, I could be on my way back home and feel good about what I’d done. But God told me I wasn’t going to get off that easy. My heart needed to change perspective.
“My name is Tom,” the man said. “It’s short for Thomas.”
“Hey, my first name is Thomas too!” I told him. “But I go by my middle name, Jarrid. It’s part of a family tradition.” We both felt a small connection in sharing a first name, and I could see that something as simple as that created a bit of trust between us.
Tom was almost eighty years old and had been homeless for the last twenty of those years. He lost his job shortly after returning home from the war. Years later his wife died of cancer, and they had no children he could rely on for help. He was alone, and his only option was to live on the streets. It broke me to hear this.
“I’ve lived this way for a long time, but I’m getting too old to do this now,” Tom said. He explained that he received a small check in the mail each month for his time serving in the military during the Vietnam War but that it wasn’t enough for him to rent even the worst of apartments in Southern California. He couldn’t move to a different state because of his health and age. “I’m kind of stuck,” he said, his eyes half-closed.
I asked him what I could do to help. “New clothes? Some money? A place to sleep for the night?”
Thomas said, “You know what? Because of
my health, I could really use one of those cheap prepaid phones for emergencies. Nothing fancy. Other than that, I really am okay until I find a place cheap enough to rent.”
“Perfect! I can do that,” I said. And I made my way back into the mall, where I purchased a ten-dollar prepaid phone, activated it, and then got him some new socks, a few shirts, and some other necessities I thought he could use. After I had made my way back to the big tree he was lying under, he looked at me with a big smile and said, “What on earth did you get?”
I put my number in the phone, handed it to him, and then explained the other things I had got him. I asked if there was anything else I could do or somewhere I could take him. I offered to let him shower at my small apartment. He insisted he had everything he needed and that his little makeshift tent underneath the freeway was perfectly fine for the time being. He had friends there, and they took care of one another. Before we said our good-byes, I prayed over him and told him to call me if he ever needed anything. I promised him I would help in any way I could, and after hugging it out, we said our good-byes and went our separate ways.
A month later, I found myself once again at the mall. I had been there a few times since running into Tom, but he was nowhere to be found. As I walked up to the front doors, I passed the tree where Tom had found comfort in the shade, and I decided I’d take a moment to relax and sit there myself. I prayed for him and his health and asked God if he could give me some way to make sure he was all right. Maybe he’s found an apartment, I thought hopefully. Then, worriedly, Maybe he got hurt. I had texted and called him a few times after we had initially met, but he never answered. I assumed he was all right and he would know to call me if anything drastic happened.
Love Is Oxygen Page 9