by Kay Harris
“See, she’ll love it. Besides it’s only for four days, and Robbie is bringing his girlfriend, too.”
Darius must have met Robbie’s girlfriend, Stephanie, because he gave Alice a massive eye roll that was wholly appropriate for discussions of Stephanie. The girl was a classic mean girl—dumb and petty. Alice couldn’t stand her.
Daruis leaned over, his face coming intimately close to Alice, despite his brother’s presence right there beside her. “You don’t have to go, you know?”
Those were the words Alice had been dying to hear from someone, anyone. And there they were, coming from the man she admired most. She imagined herself agreeing with him. She imagined leaping away from Derek and into Darius’ strong arms. She imagined how good it would feel to assert herself.
And then she shrugged and turned away.
Chapter 6
“Here’s what I don’t get.” Julia held her sandwich in front of her as she examined it top to bottom and side to side. Darius was as curious about why she was doing that as he was about what she was going to say next. “Why on earth do you want to get married before you hit twenty-four?” she asked.
Still chewing on a massive bite of his BLT, Darius leaned forward, fully invested in Alice’s answer. They’d taken a late lunch break from another long session with Glen and Trey, this time at the ad agency’s offices in the City, and they were eating at a local favorite lunch spot. Somehow Alice had ended up alone on the opposite side of the booth. How she’d managed to con him into sitting beside Julia was still a mystery to him, but at least he had a good view of her from here.
“Ugh.” Alice slapped her forehead.
Darius swallowed the lump of sandwich. “I’d really like to know, too.”
Alice glared at him. But she put her fork down, resting it on the edge of her plate. She’d already put a good dent in her massive salad, so she leaned back in the squeaky vinyl booth and folded her arms across her chest.
“Here it is. Kyle and I have been best friends since we were five. Kyle and I went through a lot of shit together. And I love him. But he loves me differently. He wants to date me. I tried to do it. I really did. I wanted to love Kyle the way he loves me. I owed him that much.”
Darius physically balked. “You don’t owe someone your affection, Alice.”
Her gaze softened at his words, then she shifted her eyes abruptly to Julia. “Maybe not. But he was there for me when no one else was.”
“No one?” Darius wasn’t sure what asshole instinct had led him to say that. Perhaps he wanted some acknowledgment that he’d been there for her, and he’d tried to do more, but she wouldn’t let him. Whatever his reasoning, the statement earned him Alice’s hard gaze again.
“Almost no one. Anyway, he’s important to me. But I just don’t have romantic feelings for him. So I left town, partly to get away from my guilt and partly to get away from my family and my town. By then I’d already promised him if I wasn’t married by twenty-four and neither was he, we’d get married to each other. I made that stupid promise the night before I left town. I was seventeen then. Twenty-four seemed like a lifetime away.” Alice put her hand on her forehead again. “I’m an idiot.”
“So you tell him the truth. You’re adults now. You don’t have to hold to some stupid pact you made in the heat of the moment at seventeen,” Julia said.
“Agreed.” It was all Darius could manage to get out when confronted with the idea of Alice being married to Kyle.
“He’s fixated on it. And he’s so important to me. And I just don’t know how…Look, it’s easier if I just get married.”
“Will you listen to yourself?” Julia’s exclamation garnered the attention of half the restaurant. She looked around with an almost bashful expression before returning to her argument. “You can’t marry some random person to get out of a stupid pact. This is the rest of your life we’re talking about. And even if it’s not, divorce is a pain in the ass. That’s a lot of trouble to go through to keep from breaking one heart.”
“Agreed.” That seemed to be the only word Darius was capable of uttering. He internally kicked himself.
“Look. It’s not just that. I want to get married,” Alice said. “I want someone to be there every night when I get home from work and school, and I’m exhausted, and I need a foot rub. And when I’m out of school and more settled in my career, I want to have someone to adopt kids with and go on family vacations and cook dinners.”
Darius’ heart was in his throat. He was no longer capable of even uttering the one word anymore, though it was completely appropriate because ‘agreed’ was exactly what he felt.
“But what about the romance and the spark. If it’s not there with Kyle and it’s not what you’re looking for, why not just marry Kyle?”
Darius turned to stare at Julia. Apparently, she was completely out of her mind.
“He doesn’t have the attributes on the list. He’s not the right fit for my spouse. They must have a certain amount independence for one. He still lives in his mom’s house, even though he’s wealthy enough he could live anywhere he wants. And he doesn’t want to adopt, he wants me to bear his freaking kids from my loins.” Alice scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue. “And he is a serious homebody. No. He’s not the right person.”
“Who is?” Julia’s innocent question nearly undid Darius. He waited with baited breath for Alice’s answer.
Alice’s gaze stayed firmly on Julia. “I’ll let you know when I find them.”
****
Darius had managed to convince Alice to ride with him to a meeting with a major client in San Jose. They were going to present the existing client with some of the creative they’d come up with and get their feedback.
Julia was riding with Glen and Trey. Darius and Alice were traveling behind them in his vehicle, which meant he had Alice alone for nearly an hour. It was the perfect opportunity to bring up her list of attributes. And he did, as soon as they hit Oakland.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked.
“Because I think I fit your list perfectly.”
Alice laughed. “No, you don’t.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Not really.”
“Come on, Alice. Tell me what’s on the list.”
“Fine.” Alice reached forward and turned down the radio. Then she leaned back in the leather seat and looked out the windshield as she relayed the list to him from rote memory. “Number one: must have a steady income. It doesn’t have to be a lot. I make my own money. But they have to have their own income, too.”
“I do.”
“Would we call it steady?”
He rolled his eyes. “I have enough in the bank that it doesn’t matter.”
“Fine. You win that round. Next, they have to live at least two states away from their family.”
He chuckled. “I do.”
“Three: they have to want to adopt.”
“I do.”
Alice swiveled her head to stare at him. “You do?”
“Yes. I have for a while now. I had this friend I played college football with, Ray. His mom died of a drug overdose when he was three, and his dad was nowhere to be found. His grandparents were assholes who abused him until the state took him away when he was ten. He lived in foster homes until he was thirteen. By then he was considered unadoptable. But this couple showed up one day. They were in their fifties. And they just up and adopted him. Just him. They said they wanted to give him all their attention. These people loved the shit out of that kid. And he did everything he could to thwart them.” Darius laughed, remembering Ray’s stories.
“But they just kept on loving him. And by the time he left for college he loved them back. He plays for Dallas now, and his parents moved down there with him. He got married to this great girl. They’ve adopted two kids so far. I want to do that. I want that.”
Alice was quiet for so long Darius thought maybe something was wrong. But before he could ask her, she started talking
again. “Four, he has to be athletic, like me.”
“I think we both know the answer to that. Unless you plan to hold my bum knee against me.”
“Of course not. And there’s only one attribute left, but you can’t claim it. This is the one where you fall short, Fleck.”
Darius was starting to enjoy the challenge. “Okay. Lay it on me.”
“He has to not be famous.”
“Awww, man. What’s so wrong with fame?”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
Darius kept his eyes on the road. He’d promised himself he’d only tell Alice the truth. He couldn’t back down now. “It doesn’t always suck. I like that I can do good with it. I’ve helped the youth center and the hospital raise a lot of money. I couldn’t have done that without my fame. But, yeah. There are definitely negatives.”
“What about your love life? Positive or negative?”
“Negative, so far.”
Alice tucked her tiny little legs under her butt as she turned in the seat. The belt had no trouble staying firmly around her shoulders as she did it. “How so?”
“I’ve never believed any woman who told me she loved me. I’m not sure anyone ever genuinely did.”
Alice frowned, but Darius didn’t linger on it. He kept his focus on the highway stretching in front of them.
“That’s so sad,” Alice said.
“It is what it is.”
“But how do you know none of them ever really loved you?”
“When I was in middle school, and seriously awkward, I asked a few girls out, and they all turned me down. By my sophomore year in high school I was the star quarterback on the varsity team, and people were already talking about my bright future in football. Then I couldn’t not get a date. Even the girls that had previously turned me down were jumping at the chance to be my girlfriend. So, I stayed away from them, for the most part. You know that.”
“I remember you were called the virgin quarterback.” A note of amusement danced in her voice.
“Well, that wasn’t exactly true, at least not after the second game of my junior year. But, I was pretty celibate.”
“What about after high school?”
“I dated a couple women in college. A couple of them claimed they loved me. But I never truly believed that any of them loved me for who I am. And when I was in the NFL…forget it. I resigned myself to meaningless sex. I wanted more, but it wasn’t possible. So I took what I could get.”
There was a deep silence in the car. Alice’s breathing became his focus as Darius drove the car toward their ultimate destination. Eventually, he broke the silence.
There was only one thing left to say. “So, are you going to make an exception to rule five for me or not?”
Alice’s answer was soft. “We’ll see.”
****
Six and half years ago…
“Derek, Derek where are you?” Alice ran through the house, desperate for comfort. The front door had been open, Mr. and Mrs. Fleck’s cars both gone. But Derek didn’t appear to be anywhere in the house. “Derek!”
Alice made it to the second floor and headed toward Derek’s room, convinced he must be wearing headphones and couldn’t hear her desperate cries. She wasn’t paying much attention. Her vision was blurred. Her voice cracking. And she ran right into a massive wall of muscle.
“Are you okay?” Darius Fleck stared down at her.
Alice backed up a step. Her foot slipped and she careened toward the stairway. With his sure quarterback hands, Darius caught her and pulled her into his broad chest. “Whoa, there.”
Engulfed in all that warm, hard man, Alice lost herself. She buried her head in his sternum and let stubborn tears fall. A large hand drifted slowly up and down her back, and a low voice whispered soothing words into the top of her head.
After some immeasurable amount of time, a cell phone beeped. Alice pulled her head away from Darius and looked into his bright blue eyes. He smiled at her. Keeping one hand on her back, he reached into his pocket with the other and looked at the phone screen quickly before shoving the now silent device back into his jeans.
Alice wiped at her eyes. “Who is it?”
“Derek. He says he’ll be home late.”
“I’m sorry, Darius. I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s have some ice cream.”
Alice didn’t know how to respond. So she stayed quiet as he led her to the kitchen. He sat her on a tall barstool and set to work, pulling cartons out of the freezer and jars of toppings out of cupboards. The only words between them were about her preferences in ice cream. And when she had a bowl with two scoops, one vanilla and one chocolate, smothered in caramel sauce, Alice gathered herself.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You had a bad day, yeah?”
She laughed. “I guess you could say that.”
He gestured to her bowl of comfort. Alice dutifully took a few bites. He copied her, watching closely.
“Wanna talk about it? Did Derek do something?”
Alice shook her head. “My parents.”
“Ah, parents. They are something, aren’t they?”
“Do you get along with yours?”
“My mom is great. My dad and I don’t see eye to eye on most things. But, that’s the way it is, right?”
“What my dad says is law in our house. And my mother will go to any lengths to enforce what he decrees on high. It’s like nothing I think or feel matters to either of them.”
“I’m sorry. That’s hard.”
“The truth is, sometimes I feel like I don’t even have a family.”
Darius leaned toward her, a lock of blond hair fell over one exquisite eye. “Someone once told me that we get to choose our own family.”
Alice smiled at the man she’d crushed on for years, and felt herself melting into the stool beneath her. “I look forward to the day I can do that.”
****
“Mom and I have something we need to talk to you about,” Everett announced after dinner.
Alice smiled at Trudy Evans. She sat at the head of the dining table with Everett and Alice on either side of her. She always insisted on sitting this way during what she called “family dinners.”
While Alice could pinpoint the moment Everett had become her brother, she still wasn’t entirely certain when Trudy had decided to adopt her as well. But it had definitely happened.
Alice pushed her plate aside and leaned forward, her hands planted on the table in front of her. “What’s that? And please don’t say it’s about the list.”
Trudy smiled from ear-to-ear. “I have made a new list of potential spouses for you. This one has four women and two men on it, I met—”
“Mom. We have to go over this first,” Everett said.
Trudy didn’t seem to lose her enthusiasm. “Oh, yes. Business first, then marriage prospects.”
Everett let out a long-suffering sigh and pierced Alice with a look of deep camaraderie. Alice felt that sense of togetherness right in her heart. Everett and Trudy had filled a part of it that had been broken and yearning for their love.
“So what’s up?” Alice figured they wanted to take her on another family trip. Trudy was always coming up with new places on her bucket list to take ‘the kids.’ Last summer they’d gone to Egypt to see the pyramids. And Alice knew Greece was on Trudy’s list as well.
Alice had missed Thanksgiving with them this year because she’d been at a management training in Canada, and she’d missed Christmas with them for the first time since they’d met as well. So she knew she had some family time to make up for. But that’s not what was on the docket for tonight’s conversation.
“We’ve set up a trust fund for you. Well, kind of. It’s not really a trust fund per se, because usually those are set aside until the recipient reaches a specific age. And you’ve already reached that age, so I guess we’re just giving you money.” Everett paused and scrunched up his brow. “For a so-c
alled business genius, I explained that really poorly.”
Trudy took Alice’s hands and looked into her eyes. “We’re giving you the money you would have already gotten if you’d been my daughter, Everett’s sister, from the beginning.”
“I…I don’t understand.” It was all that made its way through the blanket of shock she was being suffocated by.
“Rett and I set up a trust fund for Everett. And it was generous. If we’d had another kid, we could easily have split it into two funds. Everett got access to it at twenty-one and he used some of it to help start the business. But now he’s paid it all back with profits from the company, and they are growing. So there’s this mass of money and half of it is in reserve for Everett, just in case it all falls apart for him. But the other half, well, we want you to have that.” Trudy’s eyes shone as she squeezed Alice’s hand and explained that they were giving her, literally giving her a whole bunch of money.
“I…I can’t take this…Can I?” Alice turned her head to look at Everett.
“Of course you can.” Everett slid a piece a paper across the table toward her. “In fact, it’s already done.”
Alice took her hand back from Trudy. She shook as she pulled the paper toward her awkwardly. She had trouble focusing her eyes to read what it said. She took several uncontrolled breaths before she whispered, “So many zeros.”
“Yes. And they’re all yours.”
Alice lifted her head to look at Everett again. “I can’t…Can you?”
“It’s done, Alice. It’s yours.”
“Maybe you should meditate or something,” Trudy said. She waved her hand at Alice. “Go to the garden. Come back when you’re done freaking out.”
Alice didn’t argue. She simply took the paper, still gripped tightly in her trembling right hand, and walked out to Trudy’s large, peaceful garden.
The sun was just starting to set. A pink layer of gauzy clouds hung low over the garden. It made the leaves seem darker. The thick plants threw shadows over the fountains and statues scattered throughout the space. Alice found the hidden little bench tucked away among the ferns and tall, flowering bushes.