Where the Mountains Meet the Sea

by A. R. Breck

  Her arms go around my back, and she holds on as she brings her lips to my shoulder, kissing along my skin while I continue teasing her breasts.

  She arches into me, alternating between raising her chest and her hips to grind against my jeans.

  Needy.

  I release her, grabbing her leotard and pull it off the rest of the way. The fabric glides against her hips, and I pull her underwear along with it. It slides down her smooth, pale thighs, down to her ankles. I toss her leotard into the sand, covering her naked body with my own. Her skin is warm against mine, and I press my naked chest to hers.

  "Take your pants off," she whispers. "I want you."

  Her needy voice springs me into action, and I grab a square package from my pocket before I unbutton my jeans and shimmy out of them, wiggling them down my legs and kicking them into the distance.

  She stares at the square package, a little hesitation filling her features.

  "Are you sure?" I ask suddenly. "We don't have to if you don't want to." Fuck, I hope she doesn't back out now. I think I'd have to jack off for a week straight if she turned me down.

  She shakes her head. "I want to." She grabs the package from my hand, ripping it open with her teeth. She takes out the slimy condom, cringing at the stickiness of the rubber.

  "How do I…? She looks up at me, confusion in her features at the weird circle.

  I take it from her, knowing I've spent enough time in my room practicing on myself to do it with no issues. I'll show her another time.

  I push up, pinching the tip as I roll the condom down my length. She watches, enthralled, until it’s secured at my base. I look back at her, and hesitation lines her features once again.

  "I'm not hesitating. I know you're about to ask again," she says, wrapping her hands around my back and pulling me against her. "I'm scared, but I'm not going to back out."

  "It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt you, not me. Do you understand that?"

  She nods. "I don't care. I want it to hurt. And I want you to be the one to make it hurt."

  "I don't want to hurt you."

  "You'll help the pain go away, too. Don't you know? You always make me feel better in the end."

  I nod, breathing through my nose as I stare down at her. "I love you."

  "Now and always," she murmurs.

  I grab my length, positioning it between her legs and push my hips forward. My tip enters before it meets a barrier, and I watch as Luna starts wincing, pain lining her face and filling her gray eyes. I bring my hand up, wiping her dark hair from her forehead that's fallen from her bun.

  "Tell me to stop," I whisper.

  "Keep going." She leans up, pressing her lips to mine. "Don't stop," she mumbles against my lips, her voice choked, pained.

  I press forward again, feeling like I'm stuck at a wall that I can't get through. I push harder, giving one small shove and break through the barrier, sinking in deep. Luna lets out a cry, tears flooding her eyes and flowing down her temples.

  I bring a hand up, wiping the wetness away from her cheeks as I keep still.

  "Move. Please move."

  "I don't want to hurt you," I groan. Her warmth and tight walls envelop me completely. I could come just from sitting in her like this. It's been a long time. Eighteen long years of me not having sex, and at this point, just looking at Luna could make me fire off like a fucking rocket.

  I do as she asks, though, pulling out until only my tip is inside of her. I see my cock painted red from her cherry. A part of me loves it, that I’ve taken a part of her no one else has. That she’s given herself to me, and only me. It will always only be me. Us. Another part of me hates that I’ve given her this pain, that I’m making her bleed. I bury that part of me deep, not wanting my worries to taint this moment.

  I plunge back in slowly. The friction makes me grit my teeth, the sensations too much. I want to stop and pound into her like a fucking animal. I want to ravage every single inch of her.

  Her whimpers eventually turn into soft moans, and her nails scoring my back soften, the tips of her fingers pressing me closer until not an inch of air separates us.

  "Feels good," she moans, searching for my lips. I press mine against hers, speeding up. My toes dig into the sand, gaining momentum and quickening my pace until I'm pounding into her, sand flying around us while we make love in our secret area.

  "I think I'm… I think I'm going to—ohhhhh."

  Her walls tense around me, and I grind my jaw until my teeth turn to dust, my thrusts becoming erratic and uncoordinated while she flutters around me. I empty myself into the condom, throbbing against her walls while my own orgasm takes hold.

  "Fucking shiiiiittttt."

  I bury my face into her neck, kissing and nipping at her while she claws at me to get closer and tries pushing me away at the same time.

  I can feel her heartbeat against my chest, beating in the same rhythm my own heart pounds. I flatten against her body, burying her into the sand between my body and the earth.

  Her breathing settles, and my sweat cools as I pull out. I peel the condom off, noticing the red streaking the rubber as I toss it in the sand.

  I lift her into my arms, my legs shaky and her body limp as I wrap her around me. I walk into the water. It’s cool against my skin as it laps against my ankles. Luna tenses once it hits her, and I only hold her tighter. She wraps her legs around my waist, cinching herself to me. I wade in until we’re waist deep. The water slides between our skin, our stomachs growing wet as small waves roll between us. My toes dig into the grainy rocks on the ground. Burying my fingers into her loosened bun, I bring her lips to mine, breathing her in as I give her a kiss.

  I breathe with her.

  I breathe for her.

  Everything she does is what’s made me who I am. She is a part of me. Wholeheartedly. We’re one. There is no her without me. There is no me without her. Nothing could tear us apart. Nothing could fracture our love.

  She drags her tongue against my own, and I grow hard between her thighs, even though I know she’ll be in too much pain to go again. My hand goes to her ass, and I squeeze the soft skin there, loving the way she squirms in my arms. Loving the way she attempts to get as close to me as she could ever be. Like she wants to bury herself inside of me. Like she wants to be in me.

  We stay in the water; kissing, touching, feeling, loving, until our skin is pruney and prickled with goosebumps. I walk out, and Luna’s limbs are lazy in my arms, her exhaustion hitting her deeply. I walk to the blanket and lay her down, my feet coated with sand from being damp. Lying next to her, I roll onto my side, bringing her with me so I'm spooning her. Her cool body meets my cool body, and I wrap my arm around her, nudging her so she's flush up against me. Together, we warm up, our heat and love making it bearable in the open night sky.

  I give a kiss to her naked shoulder blade. The sun has officially set now, the sunset long gone and the stars out in full force. The moon sits high in the sky as our only source of light on the lake. My eyes shift to the water, and it's crystal clear, a mirror image of the moon reflecting on the surface, bobbing and dancing with the light lapping of the water.

  I nudge my head back down, curling half on the blanket and half on the sand, closing my eyes.

  "I love you, Roman," she murmurs, her voice already hazy, half asleep and drunk on sex.

  "I love you, too, Luna." I bring my hand up to the stray pieces of hair that've fallen from her bun and are damp from the water, brushing them over her shoulder. I give her one more kiss on the back of her neck, curling back down and shutting my eyes.

  I love her. I love every inch about her.

  I just hope after the news I give her tomorrow morning, she still loves me too.

  The sun rises, and my eyes crack open. I'm cold, but I'm warm with Luna's limbs tangled in mine. At some point during the night, she must have flipped and twisted her body to curl against me.

  I slide out from her arms, walking over to my guitar and pick it
up. Brushing the sand from the bottom’s smooth surface, I walk back over and sit beside her, lifting her head so she can prop it on my lap.

  She's always slept like the dead.

  I play a soft tune, nothing in particular. Just soft notes that spin together into a song I'm not even trying to create. I hum along, thinking of songs I could make or new tunes I can piece together to build. There's a sadness in my notes, and the sadness is because I want to be with Luna, with every piece of her, every day.

  But with growing comes opportunities, and unfortunately, I've taken an opportunity I couldn't deny. My bandmates wouldn't let me not take it.

  I know Luna, and I know making a big decision like this without having talked with her about it first is going to rip her apart. She's going to be heartbroken, because I know she feels the same about me as I do about her.

  And the thought of being apart from her for any length of time causes a sharp pain in my heart. I just hope she understands that this isn't forever. It'll be a blip in time, and then we can be together again.

  But we don't have to be apart. Not really. She can still be mine, and I can still be hers.

  There are phone calls, and letters, and even holidays when we can see each other. And it'll only be for a little while.

  It doesn't take long for Luna to stir, and when she does, she rolls onto her back, looking up at me with her big gray eyes that drive me straight to her soul—to her heart that looks so full of love for me.

  I second-guess bringing up my bad news, but I can't wait, because I've already put it off long enough, and my time has run out. I have to tell her now.

  There's no other choice.

  "Good morning, baby," I mumble, continuing on with my tune. I bend down, my humming lips pressing against her plump ones.

  "Morning." She stretches, her naked body pale and beautiful in the morning light. Her long limbs are thin and glowing against the yellow-gray sand with a milkiness that's always been a part of her body—exquisite. Her bruised toes are full of the rough grains, and she wiggles them. I watch as the grains fall back to the earth. Her nipples are peaked as they point toward the sky.

  "Hey, what's wrong?" she asks, her hand reaching up to brush some hair from my face. I smile at her, setting my guitar aside and picking her up so her back presses against my chest.

  "I have to talk to you about something." I trail my fingers along her shoulder and down her collarbone, to the ballet slipper necklace. It's a permanent fixture on her body. Like another arm or leg. It's a part of her.

  It's a part of me.

  "Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good at all." She tilts her head up, her hair bunching on my neck as she frowns at me. I tweak her cheek and press my thumb against the soft skin between her eyebrows to smooth out the crease.

  "It's nothing too bad." I think about what to say. I think of how to say it. I don't know how to break the news, even though I've known myself for weeks. I've practiced a million times in my head, alone in my room. But when the time comes, I'm speechless, and no words will form on my tongue.

  "Spit it out, Roman." She sits up, pulling the blanket over her lap while she frowns at me. The sand flies from the blanket, flinging onto my legs and face and arms.

  But I'm rarely quiet, rarely have any bad news or anything negative to say, so I know Luna can tell something is up from my tone alone.

  "Modern Records offered us a label."

  Her eyes go wide, her jaw going slack before a wide smile breaks out on her face. Her gray eyes glowing with elation. She drops her blanket, rolling around so she can hug me. Her arms go around my shoulders, and she squeezes tight. "That's good fucking news, Roman!"

  I don't say anything, emotion building in my chest to the point that I can barely breathe. She notices my silence, her arms going slack around me as she leans back, looking me in the eyes. "What's wrong? Isn't that good news?" She shakes me a bit, and I stare at her. My eyes want to water, and I blink them back.

  "They want us to start a tour. I leave in two weeks."

  Her entire body freezes as she blinks at me, her own eyes filling with tears. She moves back a bit, her hands fisting piles of sand. Clenching and unclenching. I watch as the sand seeps from between her fingers. Her eyes furrow, like she’s confused at my statement. The impossibility of it.

  "We have to go out to California. I got a small apartment there with the guys. It's the beginning for us, Luna. It's what we've always wanted. And you know, in a year, when you're done with school, you can come with me! We can tour together, and you can be on the road with me."

  She chucks a handful of sand in my face.

  "I don't want to go on tour, Roman! You know that! I want to go to Julliard in New York! You've always known this!" She starts breathing heavily, a panic building in her chest. I move toward her, but all she does is chuck another handful of sand at me.

  "No! Don't come any closer." Tears fall down her cheeks now, sand mixed in, and she looks a wreck.

  A beautiful, broken wreck.

  "Why did it take you this long to tell me? How long have you known?" She stands up, grabbing her leotard. She slips it on, the straps snapping against her shoulders. The straps are rolled over multiple times, and I know she hates that. I want to straighten them for her, but I don't think she'd let me right now.

  She looks at me. "Huh? How long?"

  "One month."

  Her eyes widen to the point that they're about to roll out of their sockets. They darken, the gray turning a murky brown that I've never seen in her before. "One month?" she screeches. A flock of birds leave the trees around us, flapping away and moving across the lake. "One fucking month, Roman? And I'm just finding out about this now? That you're leaving in two weeks? Right after we…" She shakes her head, tears streaming down her face as she stomps up to me. She shoves me, slapping at my chest and clawing at my skin. I let her, keeping my hands at my sides as my heart breaks for the girl in front of me.

  The love of my life.

  "I'm sorry." This time when my eyes fill with tears, I don't bother to wipe them away. My cheeks dampen as I stare at her. Her usual straight spine curled over in pain.

  "Sorry isn't good enough. How could you…" She inhales a shaky breath. "How could you do this to me?" The last of her words come out in a whisper. A fractured whisper that can't be repaired.

  I open my mouth, but once again nothing comes out. A silent breath of empty apologies and even emptier promises.

  I failed.

  She shakes her head, defeat in her features as she walks away.

  "Wait. Where are you going?" I ask her, reaching for her arm. She yanks out of my hold, angry tears streaming down her face.

  "Leave me alone, Roman. I'm going home."

  "Let me drive you at least," I plead.

  She shakes her head. "I want to be alone."

  When she walks away from me this time, I let her. Her body curled over in sadness. She doesn't push the weeds or the branches out of the way. I watch as they scrape her legs, leaving red lines on her skin. She just moves straight past them. A complete zombie as she goes through the motions of getting away from me.

  Her quiet cries shred me in two.

  My chest quakes, breaking straight down the middle until I'm in two pieces.

  Broken. Utterly broken.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  LUNA

  Tears flow down my face as my toes scream in protest. I fall flat on my feet again, groaning at myself in pity.

  "Fuck," I cry.

  I've been useless all day. All week, to be honest. I'm sore between the legs and I'm sore in my chest. I feel lost. Confused. I haven't spoken to Roman in days. It's the most we've gone without speaking to one another since I moved here, and I feel completely broken. A shattered glass, broken and forgotten. No one to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.

  Roman has tried to talk to me, but I've feigned sickness to my mom. She knows better, looking at me with pity and a nod of her head. I'm sure she's talked to Goldie at so
me point, so she probably knows what's going on.

  It doesn't matter. None of it matters at this point.

  Roman is leaving.

  Every day that I don't talk to him is another day that I'm losing being with him. Every day is a day closer to him leaving me. But I can't for the life of me go and talk to him.

  I'm too broken, too stubborn.

  I don't want him to leave.

  I walk over to the bar and grip the wood with my hand, bending down in a plié. It feels forced—off. I know if my teacher were here right now, she'd whip me with a ruler for faking my moves. I'm so much better than this. But if I were honest, it all feels useless if Roman isn't here.

  I feel like a fraud.

  I slide down to the floor, my back scraping against the wall as quiet sobs rack my chest. I pull on the bows on the back of my calves and the ribbons release, floating to the ground in a quiet drop. I peel my shoes off my aching feet, slapping them against the ground in frustration.

  I've avoided Roman everywhere. At home, in school. I'm surprised he hasn't shown up at the studio. But another part of me is hurt that he didn't.

  Did he give up on me?

  That thought alone makes another sob rip through my chest, and I feel like my heart can barely take the crying anymore. My chest feels bruised. My ribs feel broken. I've cried so much. Too much.

  I wipe my face with the back of my hand and stand up. Grabbing my slippers, I go to the back and grab my things, turn off the radio and the lights, and lock up. Turning around, I come face to face with Bryce, one of the guys from school.

  "Um, hi?"

  "Oh, hey. What's up?" he asks, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

  I toss my thumb over my shoulder, trying to act nonchalant even though I'm sure my face is a wreck, all blotchy, red and swollen. "I was just practicing."

  He bobs his head. "I was walking by and saw you. You're really good."

  I cringe. "Wasn't my best today." That means he saw me cry, and that makes me cringe even more.

  "You okay?" His eyes rove over my face, checking each dip and curve.