by A. R. Breck
Soon enough, he curves right, heading toward a seating area. In the center is a huge sign that says Washington.
My eyebrows furrow. "We're going to Washington?" I've never been. Never talked about going. Roman has no ties there, and I don't know anyone there, either.
He smiles, a small, secret quirk on his lips. "You'll see. Be patient, Luna." He sits down in an empty gray chair, the plastic thin and slippery.
I plop down next to him, sighing when my muscles thump in relief. “Or you could just tell me.”
He laughs, curling an arm over my shoulder. "Nope." My eyes narrow, and I want to keep bugging him, but to be honest, I’m just too tired.
We sit silently. I lay my head on his shoulder, tired from waking up so early. My body is exhausted, too. I've put in the extra work this week in anticipation of taking time off for a few days. My toes ache, and my muscles scream for mercy. Roman has seemed just as exhausted, switching shifts and pulling extra hours so he could take this time off.
I doze on and off for a while, until a flight attendant calls for everyone to board. Roman and I get up, my knees a little shaky as we walk through the concourse. I’m nervous. It's the first time I've been on a plane with Roman. The first time we've traveled anywhere together.
"You ready?" He turns toward me, buckling his seatbelt and then buckling mine as well.
I curl my fingers around his, the warmth of his hand heating my entire body. I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know what he has in store for us, but as long as he's with me, I guess I'll be ready for anything. "Yeah, I am."
Wow.
Washington is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
Mountains, city, ocean, everything combined into one. It takes my breath away.
Once we got off the plane, Roman got us a cab to a hotel right in Seattle. We settled in, ate some food, and started touring the city. It's been amazing, to visit something from a tourist’s standpoint. When I traveled before, it was without a stitch of money in my pocket. I couldn't enjoy the wonders of gift shops and eating in restaurants. It's been a long day, my feet ache, and so do my cheeks from the constant smile plastered on my face, but Roman said he had one more stop for us.
That stop has turned into a hike. A hike through the forest slightly north of Seattle. It's cool here, not muggy like the forest in Hawaii was. But it's beautiful, and even with me out of breath, I can't stop myself from looking around at the greens of the tall trees and the mountains in the distance, their white peaks still filled with snow from this past winter.
"Almost there," Roman says, walking up ahead of me. I watch his ass flex in his jeans, wishing he would quit keeping me from him and just let us be together. He knows me, though, maybe even better than I know myself. He must see a darkness, a brokenness in me that I no longer feel. Because I feel like I'm ready, yet he continues to hold back.
"Here we are," he says. I look up, seeing us at the end of the trail. We're on top of a mountain, and as I walk closer, I gasp.
My shoes dig into the sand, my eyes growing wide. How did I not realize this before?
I point at it, walking further back into the forest. "You…"
He points out to the ocean. "Where the mountains meet the sea, Luna. Finally, we're here."
Tears spring to my eyes, my dreams and my nightmares colliding into one. "I'm scared," I whisper. “Every time I've ever been here, I've died, Roman." My legs shake. No, my entire body shakes.
He holds out his hand. "One day, a long time ago, do you remember what I said?"
I shake my head, too many emotions jumbling up every memory. I can't pick one out, not a single memory from my life. Not right now.
"I said that one day I'd be a rock star and you'd be a ballerina, and we'd go to where the mountains meet the sea."
Tears fall down my cheeks. "You aren't a rock star, and I'm not a ballerina."
He shakes his head, "No, but I was, and you will be. Does it really matter, at the end of the day? Here we are, Luna. The place that's haunted you your entire life, and we're here."
I look around, seeing little differences here and there. The place in my dreams was a little more open, where this one quickly goes into a forest. But there's so many similarities, too. From the sharp edge of the cliff to the dark water in the distance. It's like he plucked the details from my dream and painted them into the world in front of me.
His hand reaches out again. "Take my hand, Luna. Let's face this. Together." After a moment of hesitation, I place my shaky hand in his. He wraps his fingers around mine, clutching me tightly. His fingers are warm. He pulls me up, and every step is painful. Rocks crunch beneath my shoes. I don't want to go to the top. I don't want to go to the edge. But here is Roman, making me face my fear.
He always makes me conquer everything. Always.
He brings me to the top, far enough from the edge where even if I fell, I wouldn't tumble over, but close enough that I can see the waves crashing against the rocks, the water turning white as they angrily slam against the jagged edges.
I let out a shaky breath.
"Do you know what it's like to love you, Luna?"
I turn toward him, my eyes dry from the cool air and wet at the same time. "Tell me."
"Loving you is like breathing too much air and being deprived of air at the same time. Loving you is watching the time going by and wishing it could stop, just so I could spend just an extra moment with you. Loving you is painful, because every ounce of torment you've ever been through in your life I can feel. I see you, Luna, but I also see through you. I see your scars, I see your pain." His hand brushes across my face, across my chilled cheekbones. "But I also see your beauty, and you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life. Your gray eyes have been engrained into me. I could spend the rest of my life sitting next to you. Watching you breathe, watching you dance. I want for nothing; I need for nothing. Not when I have you."
He drops his hand, taking a step back from me. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a small white box, barely noticeable dwarfed in his hand, but I see it, and it makes me gasp. My hand goes up to my mouth as he drops to his knee. Looking up at me, he continues, "You are pain, Luna, and you are beauty. But more than anything else in the world, you are mine. And I want to spend the rest of the seconds and minutes and years that we have, together. I don't want another wasted moment. You've been mine before I knew what love was. Be mine now, and tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives." Taking a deep breath, his voice grows raspy. "Will you marry me, Luna?"
My legs give out and I fall to my knees, the bones slamming into the rocky ground. My chest can't catch enough air, even with my gasps. Tears fall down my cheeks, blowing away in the wind. I can barely breathe, even when Roman has just filled me up with all the air in the world.
He waits patiently, watching me as he cracks the box open.
All it does is make me sob harder. The most beautiful ring sits cushioned in the middle of the box. The diamonds glimmer off the cliff, the sun, the ocean, my fucking soul. I want to reach out and touch it, but another part of me doesn't even want to breathe on it.
"I will…" I breathe in a shaky breath, my words coming out choked and strangled. "I will marry you, Roman. Now and Always."
"Thank fuck." He leans forward, grabbing onto my cheeks, smashing his lips against mine. I kiss him, giving him my entire life, my heart, my soul. Every kiss from him gives me life, heals my bones, pieces together the shattered parts of me that only he can heal.
"I love you, Luna," he says. Leaning back from me, he slides the ring from the box and grabs my left hand, pushing the ring over my finger. It fits perfectly, snug beneath my knuckle. I tilt my hand back and forth, watching the diamonds glimmer in the sun.
"I love you, too, Roman. Now and always."
I walk into our hotel room, listening as Roman slides the chain of the lock on our door. I slide my coat from my arms, draping it over the small table in the corner of the room. I can feel his presence before he e
ven touches me. His feet are silent as he crosses the room, and then his breath is on my neck. He grabs my hair, pulling it over my shoulder, and kisses the space between my neck and my shoulder, his lips light, brushing. I close my eyes, tipping my head to the side to give him better access.
His hand goes to the collar of my shirt, pulling it over my shoulder. It drapes down my bicep, showing off the top of my cleavage. I inhale, feeling his heat and love surround me. His hand trails down, hitting the hem of my shirt. His fingers slip beneath it, running across my bare stomach. My skin twitches, and his fingers splay out, covering my entire belly.
He pushes on my stomach, turning me around slowly. I face him, tilting my head back so I can look him in the eyes. There's no smile on his lips, no laughter, no hesitations. He's sure. He's here.
He clings to the bottom of my shirt, and I lift my arms. He pulls it up, over my head, and his fingers release as he drops the fabric to the ground. I lift my hand behind my back, ready to unclasp my bra. His hand goes up, grabbing onto my wrist. Barely a flinch of his head, only a slight shake. I drop my hand to my side, and his snakes around my back. With a flick, my bra loosens. His fingers go to the straps, sliding them down my arms, the tips of his fingers sliding down my skin as they go.
He grabs the bra as it falls off my wrist, tossing it aside.
His hands go under my arms, behind my back, pressing his palms against my skin. My chest hits his, and my hands go to his biceps, my fingers wrapping around the muscles.
His mouth comes to mine, hovering above my lips. Not kissing me, just breathing me in. The emotions are heavy, and I swallow them down. We barely spoke on our hike down the mountain or in the cab on the way home. Too happy, too caught up in our emotions. My heart feels so full, so much like it's about to crack.
Now the emotions are getting to me. I feel emotional. My love hurts. I love Roman too much. It consumes me, and I want nothing but to be swept up in his love. I need him, more than I need my own heart, I think. That thought alone terrifies me, but if I were to be honest, I've known it all along.
"I love you," he mouths against my lips.
"I love you," I whisper.
I bring my arms down to his waist, pulling his shirt up, bringing my hands along his warm back, pressing and digging my fingers into the hard muscles. He grabs his shirt at the waist, pulling it over his head in one quick swoop. Then he's against me again, our warmth mixing.
A tear leaks out of my eye, and he wipes it away. Bringing his other hand below my butt, circling around, he lifts me off the ground. He takes a few steps forward, until his knees hit the bed. He climbs on, laying me down below him. My hair splays out on the floral comforter and the reddish pillows below my head. His fingers go to the button of my jeans, and he pops it free, sliding my zipper down.
I lift my hips, and he curls his fingers beneath my jeans, pulling them down my thighs, sliding them off my legs so, so slowly. They slip off my feet, and he drops them over the edge of the bed. His head goes down to my toes, kissing the bruises and scrapes. He moves up slowly, kissing my ankle, my shin, my inner thighs, his lips brushing so lightly, just a kiss against my skin. Feather-light.
I can barely breathe, every time his lips touch my skin, he lights me on fire, stealing my breaths as he goes. He kisses me over my underwear, his fingers going beneath the fabric, and he slips them down my legs.
Then I'm bare for him.
"So beautiful," he rasps. It's low, full of all the emotions I'm feeling.
He goes back down, pressing his lips against my hip bones, my flat stomach, my ribs, my breasts. His other hand glides up my side, his fingers dancing along my skin softly. So lightly. He kisses my neck, my jaw, my cheek, my lips, barely passing by before he grabs my left hand, lifting it in front of us. He kisses my fingers, my palm, my knuckles. He kisses the ring, closing his eyes against it as he breathes, taking a big breath before looking at me. "I love you."
"I love you," I whisper.
He comes back down, grabbing his wallet before pushing his pants and boxers over his hips, kicking them off the bed. Grabbing a condom from his wallet, he's about to tear it open when I press my hand over his. "Let me."
I slide it from his fingers, ripping it open. He leans up, his erection long and hard against his abs. Larger than from when we were young. Manlier, with a small patch of clean hair that leads from his belly button down to his erection. I grab his hardness with my hand, pumping it, just as he taught me all those years ago.
He tilts his head toward the ceiling, letting out a hiss between his teeth. With the slippery condom in hand, I pinch the tip, sliding it over his length, rolling it on until it hits the base.
I wipe my hand on the comforter, then bring it up to his hair. It's messy, falling around his face. I push it back, curling my fingers in his long strands. Pulling his face down to mine, I kiss him, burying my lips against his.
He kisses me back, diving his tongue into my mouth. I slide my tongue along his, moaning into his mouth as his hand comes to my breast. He tweaks my nipple, and I arch my back. With his free hand, he lines up his erection, pushing the head between my folds. He slides his head back and forth, pressing against my clit over and over again. I moan, pushing my hips up toward his.
Finally, he sinks in. Pushing all the way to the hilt, I can feel nothing but heat, his twitching erection pulsing against my walls.
Then, he moves, so slowly. He slides in and out, and I can hear the slick wetness of our bodies as they grind against each other. He grunts, his lips hovering over mine. I lift my head, connecting my lips with his. They barely touch, the smallest caress against each other.
He breathes in as I breathe out, and he breathes out as I breathe in. We inhale each other as he moves, keeping his body as close to mine as possible. Our bodies grow slick, damp with sweat. I feel an electricity between us, a connection that's deeper than physical. My chest grows warm, feeling like his heart is beating against mine.
I feel like we're one as we move with each other. I can feel his love, I can hear his thoughts. Everything about him is every bit a part of me.
His hands slide down, gripping my hips as he rolls over, lying his back against the mattress and settling me on top on his lap. My hair tumbles over my shoulders, brushing his waist. His fingers thread through the strands, messing them up as he takes hold.
I move, grabbing onto his hands, lacing my fingers with his as I press up on my knees, grinding against him.
He grunts, his eyes burning into mine with need. I move faster, grinding against him as a tingling starts in my sex. I can feel the pressure building, a growing orgasm that will knock me on my back. His cock hits a spot in me with every bounce, every move he slides against me that has my eyes rolling in the back of my head.
His small grunts and my small moans fill the room, and I move faster, our skin starting to slap against one another. My breasts bounce, and his free hand goes up, palming the weight and pinching my nipple between his fingers.
My head tilts back, a whimper slipping from my lips. He fills me so completely. He's so big, hitting every inch of me. I can feel him in my stomach, I can feel him in my heart. There isn't a part of me that isn't affected by him.
His hands leave my breast and hair, gripping my waist. He starts to control my movements, creating the pace that he wants. I move faster, chasing the orgasm that is burning through my blood. I can feel my walls fluttering against him, the imminent orgasm clenching him inside of me.
He lets out a guttural groan, his cock twitching, growing impossibly larger inside of me. He slams my hips down on him, and I break free, my orgasm rushing through me.
He twitches, and I can feel him come, his cock pulsing and emptying inside the condom. My vision clouds with lust, and I close my eyes, my chest falling against his as my hips continue grinding, wanting this feeling to last forever. His fingers dig into my sides, creating bruises on my hips.
I can hear his heart beating in my ear, the vicious pounding fast and err
atic. He pushes my hair from my face, brushing it over my shoulder as his fingers trail down my back. I close my eyes, loving his heat, his body, his comfort.
Slowly, he pulls out of me, pulling the condom off and tossing it off the bed. Rolling over, he holds me against him, curling my body flush to his. He kisses my neck, my back, and brings his hand to my jaw, pulling my lips to his. "I love you, Luna."
"I love you, Roman."
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
LUNA
2001
"What's got you looking so nervous?"
I glance over my shoulder, seeing Roman walking up to me. He's got a bright smile on his face, his arms snaking around my waist. His hand presses against my stomach, as if he knows there are butterflies flapping around, nerves filling and spilling out of me.
"It's just been a long time," I whisper, looking out our balcony window. The sun is only in the beginning stages of falling behind the tall skyscrapers. There's a shiny, orange hue in the city. Yellow cabs down on the street look miniature as they zip down the street. I can hear the honking, the people rushing down the sidewalks, the constant chaos of New York City. The summer greens are starting to turn into fall oranges and reds.
Roman presses a kiss against my neck, his lips warm and comforting. I curl into him, turning around and wrapping my arms around his chest. "I'm excited, but I'm nervous," I murmur against his soft gray shirt.
The timbre of his voice vibrates against my ear, "Nothing to be worried about. It's just our family."
I sigh, knowing he's right. It's been months since we've gotten home from our Washington trip. Months since we got engaged. I run my fingers along my ring, the new addition to my body that I promised I'd never take off. It's beautiful, perfectly my style. Roman couldn't have picked out anything more suited for me. For us.