“Out ofthe way, please,”one ofthe medics said, pushinghis waythrough.
Nikolaigot up and moved back towards Damon. “I called myother dad when I left Seattle, he should be here reallysoon.”
Damonnodded. “I willcallhimand tellhimto meet us at the hospital.”
“We’ve got roomfor one,”the EMT said.
“Devin, go,”James said.
“Should we wait?”Devinnodded toward the cave.
“He’s goingto be awhile,”Nikolai said. “Go, we’llmeet youthere.”
~~ Vince walked out ofthe caverns an hour later to find Damonwaitingfor him. He sat downonone ofthe benches and hunghis head, the knife danglingfromhis fingers.
“I take it Nardozziis no more?” Damonasked.
“Well, he’s actuallya lot more now.”
Vince looked up. “I wanted himto hurt, I wanted himto feelwhat Keeganfelt, the sheer panic ofknowingwhat was coming, but prolongingit, takingone little piece at a time. He deserved so muchworse; Keeganshould
have beenhere to see it.”
“I do not think Keeganwould have
wanted to see it. I think he would have been
happyshootingNardozziinthe head.” Vince shook his head.
“Too humane.”
“James sent the helicopter back; you
should go to the hospital. Andreihas arrived.” “Andrei’s here?”Vince asked. “Yes, he and Nikolaiare donating
blood.”Damonput his hand out to Vince.
“Come on.”
Vince stood up, panicked. “Is he
okay? Does he need more blood? I cangive
himsome ofmine—”
Damontook Vince’s hand. “Come
on.”
~~
Vince looked out over the Arizona
desert. Byhelicopter it took less thanfifteen
minutes to get to the smallhospitalinBenson.
As soonas the chopper touched down, Vince
ranfor the emergencyroom. The doors slid
openand he entered the waitingarea.
Keegan’s close friends were allpacingback
and forth; Mateo stood bythe far wall, arms
crossed, scowling. The looks onalloftheir
faces made himfeellike shit. This would have
never happened ifhe’d just let Keegango that
first night. Evennow he felt selfish, he wanted
to hold Keegan, let himknow he was there. “Markov,”James said, walkingover. “Is he okay? Is he goingto make it?”
Vince asked.
“Keegan’s one hellofa fighter, I’m
sure youknow that,”James tried to smile.
“He’s goingto need more blood, though, and
I think—”James didn’t evenfinishhis
sentence; Vince was alreadyrunningdownthe
hall. “Well, that solves that problem.” “I wishI could have donated,”Josh
leaned back, sighing. “I’d give himwhatever
he needed.”
“Well, he needed O negative, which
youare not,”James smiled, takingJosh’s
hand. “He’d appreciate it, youknow he
would.”
“I just wishwe would hear
something,”Troysaid, pacingagain.
“Did anyone callRileyand the rest of
the guys?”Derek asked.
“I did,”Mateo said. “Theyare ontheir
way. Rileytook the Cessna; they’llland at the
smallairstrip downthe road.”
“Good,”James nodded. “We allneed
to be here for Keegan.”
“And we willbe,”Samsaid.
~~
Vince layback onthe gurneyand flexed his hand. The longplastic tube filled immediatelywithhis blood. He closed his eyes; he’d give everylast drop he had to save Keegan. He hadn’t seenmuchofKeeganin the cave; he didn’t want to take his eyes offof Nardozzi. He didn’t think he could look at Keegananyway; knowingit was his fault Keeganhad beentakenand tortured. He just needed to see him, alive and breathing, needed to see that grin, hear that giggle, gaze into those eyes. He needed Keegan, more thananythinghe needed him, wanted him.
Nardozzi’s words haunted him. Was he beingselfishinwantingto keep Keegan? He knew Andreicould take care ofhimself, he’d shownit onmore thanone occasionand Nikolai, well, theyhad left himalone for years now. Nikolaiwas his ownforce ofnature; he killed inthe exact same manner as Vince, cold and precise.
Keeganwas different. Eventhough Vince knew the mancould take care of himself, the riffraffVince dealt withwere some ofthe worst ever.
Vince sighed; Keegandeserved a life ofnot havingto look over his shoulder, to be witha manwho put himfirst above allothers. Keeganwould never be safe withhim. A nurse came inand looked at the bag; she smiled and removed the tube, puttinggauze and tape over the area.
“Your friend is stillinsurgery; he’s a fighter and the doctor is confident he’llpull through,”she smiled, takingthe bag.
“Thank you.”Vince sat up, watching her leave. He ranhis hands over his face and stood. The door opened againand Andrei poked his head in.
“Youlook like shit,”Andreigrinned. “Thank you, darling.”Vince stretched his arms out, crackinghis back fromside to side.
“I saw Keeganbriefly; I looked inon the OR. Theydid not seemto be happyI was there.”Andreicracked a grin. “He willbe okay, Vince.”
“He has to be, I put himinthis position. I should have never agreed to this.”
“Youdid not know what Keeganhad endured,”Andreisaid, sittingdowninone of the chairs nearby.
“It reallydoesn’t matter, does it? He’s stillhere insurgerybecause he was withme. He wouldn’t have beenindanger had I left himalone.”
“Youare not responsible for Agent Ripley’s wounds; Nardozziis.”Andreiraised aneyebrow at his ex-husband. “Youcare for him.”
“Ofcourse I care!”Vince snapped. “I did this to him!”Vince shouted. “It’s myfault he got taken!”
“Since whendo youcare who gets hurt, Vince?”Andreicrossed his arms.
Vince turned and looked at Andrei.
“Since now.”
Andreitook a good longlook at Vince’s face; the realizationkicked inand he gasped.
“Youhave falleninlove.”
“What?”Vince took a step back. “No I haven’t.”
“Yes, youhave.”Andreistood up. “Youare worried for him; youblame yourself for his misfortune.”Andreipeered into Vince’s eyes. “Youmade love to him.”
“What? How do youknow?”Vince stammered. “Wait, no, I meanwe had sexbut —”
“Youmade love to him,”Andrei smiled, takingVince’s hand.
Vince shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what happened, it won’t happen again.”Vince grabbed his shoes and headed out into the hallway.
“Vincent, do not do this,”Andrei pleaded, followingVince out.
Vince turned inthe hall.
“I can’t put himat risk, not ever again.”
Andreisighed; he felt a presence next to himand turned to see Nikolailookingat his retreatingfather.
“He fellinlove,”Andreitried to smile at his son.
“I know,”Nikolaisaid.
~~
Four hours later, Vince sat by Keegan’s bedside holdinghis hand. He was pale and looked smallinthe bed. Anoxygen masked cover his face and anIV line pumped saline and antibiotics into him. He’d recover fromthe gunshot wound; it had clipped his lung. Vince traced Keegan’s eyebrows with his finger; evennow the manwas beautiful. He had a chance at a normallife and Vince was goingto make sure he had it.
“I hope youknow I’d have takenthat bullet for you,”Vince whispered. “I’d do anythingfor you, Keegan, whichis whyI have to let yougo. Part ofme changed whenyou were taken; I realized Nikolaiisn’t the only one I’d do anythingfor. I’d move mountains for you, Keegan.”
Vince took Keegan’s hands to his lips and kissed themsoftly. “I’llmiss youso much.”Vince stood,
lookingdownat the face ofthe manhe had fallenfor. He leaned over and kissed his forehead softly. “Be happy.”
Keeganmoaned, and his eyelashes fluttered.
“Vince?”
Keegantried to take the oxygenmask off, but Vince put it back inplace. “You’re goingto be fine,”Vince said.
“Are youokay? WhenNardozzisaid —”
“I’mfine, Keegan. Youknow me, nothingslows me down. Youshould be here for a couple days; allyour friends are inthe waitingroom. It was good workingwithyou.” Vince turned to leave.
“That’s it?”Keeganstruggled into a sittingposition, the paininhis back throbbed. “Youjust… leave?”
“Myjob is done and so is yours. Nardozziis gone and Damonand James are ironingout how their new partnership will work out. Take care, Keegan.”
“But… I thought…”Keeganfelt his throat closingup.
Vince kept his back to Keeganand took a deep breath.
“It was funwhile it lasted. Youare a good lay, Keegan. Youknew who I was whenwe started this; I don’t feel, I never will.”
Vince walked out the door and closed it hard. He stood offto the side ofthe room and closed his eyes. He was doingthe right thing, wasn’t he? His heart ached as Keegan’s soft sobs floated into the hallway. He had to go, right now. Vince turned onhis heeland went for the side exit as fast as he could.
“Leaving?”Devinstood withhis arms crossed.
“Myjob here is done.”Vince stayed withhis back to Agent Lyons.
“Whatever yousay, Vince.”Devin frowned as Vince exited the side door, slammingit shut behind him. He looked in Keegan’s roomand saw himonhis side, his bodyshakingfromhis sobs. “Sonofa bitch,” Devinwhispered.
He opened the door and walked quicklyto the side ofthe bed. TakingKeegan inhis arms, he held his partner as he cried. “It’llbe okay, I promise, Keegan.”
After anhour, Keeganhad finally fallenasleep. Devinleft the roomand walked back to the waitingroom. Most ofthe guys were sittinginthe waitingroomchairs, but some stillpaced.
“One ofyouguys cango back there; he’s sleeping, though.”Devinsat downwitha loud sigh.
“Is he okay?”Joshwalked over to Devin.
“No, he’s not. Not mentally. Physically, he’llrecover.”Devinclosed his eyes. “DamnMarkov.”
“Vince has falleninlove; I think he is tryingto protect Keeganfromheartbreak.” Andreilooked at the entire group.
“A little late for that, Panchenko,” Devingrowled.
“Watchyour tone.”Andreiraised a brow.
“Fuck you.”Devinstood and Andrei did the same. “I maywork withthe FBI, but that doesn’t meanI have to work withyoujust because theydo,”Devinspat.
“Hey! Whoa!”Joshstood inbetween Andreiand Devin. “It’s goingto be okay, Keeganwillbe okay.”
But he wasn’t.
Chapter Ten
Vince sat onthe porchofhis villa watchingthe fishermenmake their dailyjaunt out to sea. Three months had passed since his quest to take Nardozziout had gone down. Three months since he’d seenSpecialAgent KeeganRipley. His heart ached; he missed Keeganso muchit physicallyhurt to breathe. He’d tried to go out onmissions, tried anythingto forget Keegan, to make the pain stop, but nothingworked. The biggapinghole inhis heart would not fill.
He closed his eyes and for the thousandthtime imagined Keegan’s face, his grin, his lips, everythingKeegan. The simple act ofenvisioningKeegan’s face gave hima euphoric feeling, but it was fleetingand when he opened his eyes the painwould return. The onlythinghe had left ofKeeganwas the trackingbracelet. He’d stolenit out of Keegan’s personalbelongings before he left the hospital. He held it now, runninghis thumb over the lettering.
How had it happened? How had KeeganRipleygottento him? Knocked over the tower and breached his cold, unfeeling heart? He couldn’t stop thinkingabout Keegan. Dayand night, he dreamt ofthem together, makinglove, kissing. It wasn’t just that Keeganhad said no to him, it was the verbalsparring, the quick wit, the fact that Keegancame at himwithwords where no one else would dare. He loved that about Keegan. He loved everythingabout Keegan; he was in love withKeegan.
It had takenhima while to sayit out loud; he didn’t want to admit what Andrei alreadyknew. Vince had falleninlove with stuttering, uncontrolled boner-gettingAgent KeeganRipley. Vince smiled, thinkingabout their first night together withKeeganpropping pillows betweenthem. Intruth, theyactually had a bit incommon; bothofthemhad been tortured, but Keegancould stilllove. Now he could, too. Vince ranhis hands over his face; it was killinghimnot to be able to see Keegan. He didn’t evenwant to know what the man was doing, it would hurt too much.
“Dad?” Vince turned to see Nikolaicoming downthe steps.
“Hey, what are youdoinghere?” “Checkingonyou.”Nikolaisurveyed
his father’s face. A thick beard grew over what was once a beautifulface; hard lines and dark circles surrounded his eyes. “Dad… please…”
“I can’t… I just can’t do that to him.” Vince closed his eyes.
“You’re inlove withhim, Dad. I know
he loves you, too.”
“How do youknow?”Vince turned to
look at his son.
“I talked to TroyBishop; he wanted
to know how wellI knew Wyatt,”Nikolai
grinned. “Surprised him, I guess, that Wyatt
and I were friends. Anyway, after I explained
that Wyatt goes to schoolwithSebastian, I
got the low-downonAgent Ripley. Troysaid he’s not the same anymore; he doesn’t grinor giggle or hangout withthemat all. He’s
become… hardened.”
Vince sat back inshock.
“But he was so… Keegan…” “He’s inlove withyou, Dad, and
whenyouleft, somethingsnapped inhim.” “I can’t put himindanger; I can’t be
selfishabout this.”Vince stood up, runninghis
hand throughhis long, unrulyhair.
“Look at you!”Nikolaishouted. “You
look like hell! Youlove him, Dad! Do you
understand what I’mtellingyou? Youlove him
and he loves you! Don’t youwant to be with
him? See himsmilingagain? Hold him?” “Ofcourse I want that! This is killing
me everydaythat I’mawayfromhim. But I
can’t ask himto be inmylife, to always have to watchover his shoulder for the next asshole
waitingto take me or someone I love out!” “Whydid youhave me then?”Nikolai
put his hands onhis hips. “Would yourather I
didn’t exist?”
“What? What the hellare youtalking
about?”Vince turned to face his son. “Whywould youbringme into this
world whenyouknew people would come
after me just for beingyour son. Doesn’t that
make youselfishas well? Yet, here I stand.” “It’s not the same,”Vince shook his
head.
“No it’s not - you’re right. It’s worse.
But thankfully, I know how to protect myself,
I know what’s comingona dailybasis, and
thankfully, I’ve established that I amnot one
to mess with. Keegancanbe the same, Dad. Trainhim. Let himmake the decisionwhether he wants to be withyou, because right now all
you’ve managed to do is rip his heart out.” Vince looked out across the water;
thousands ofmiles away, Keeganwas
somewhere, livinghis life. Safe.
“I can’t.”
Nikolaiwatched as his father went
back inside. He slumped his shoulders,
shakinghis head. “Dammit.”
~~ Keegantossed his gunonthe table as he walked throughthe metaldetector. George handed it back to himwithout a word and he continued onhis wayto the elevator. The elevator doors met and he closed his eyes, leaningup against the wall. He looked up with a raised brow as soft love songs flowed out fromthe ceiling. He was contemplating shootingthe speaker as the doors opened on
his floor.
He passed other agents as he made his waydownthe hall. None ofthemspoke to him, whichwas ironic ina waysince they usuallygave himshit. Keeganopened the door to his office expectingto see Devin; he got the entire group instead. Lettingout a large exaggerated sigh, he closed the door and leaned against it.
“What the hellare youalldoinghere?” “We’re worried about you,”Mateo said. “You’re not the same anymore,”Riley nodded inagreement withhis husband.
“Good. Because that KeeganRipley was waytoo trustingand stupid.”Keegan pushed offthe door and went to his desk.
“You’re not stupid,”Dakota said. “Youfellinlove —”
“I’msure Vince is stilllaughingat how wellhe convinced me to sleep withhim, more thanonce.”Keeganfellinto his chair. “It won’t happenagain; I won’t let anyone make a foolout ofme againlike that.”
“I don’t think he was pretendingto like you, Keegan,”Rileywhispered.
“Oh? Were youthere inthe roomwith us whenhe left? Whenhe told me I was a great lay? Wellat least I cansayVince Markovthought I was a good fuck. That should hold weight, right? He doesn’t feel anything, Riley, and he never will,”Keegan spat venomously.
“Look, you’re not quite yourself, Keegan,”James said. “Devintells us you aren’t followingprocedure; since whendo we just runinto a buildingwithout checkingon what’s goingoninside first?”
“Since I don’t care anymore. I’mnot puttinganyone at risk but myself. So, ifthat’s all, youguys cango now.”
“No, we can’t.”James handed Keegana piece ofpaper. “Youare on vacationstartingright now. Hand me your sidearm, please.”
Keegan’s eyes went wide.
“You’re serious?”
James put his hand out.
“Now.”
Keeganstood, lookingat allthe men inhis office. “Fine, but leave me alone. I don’t need to see youguys for a while.”
“Keegan…”Rileypleaded, his eyes fillingwithtears.
“No… just... don’t.”Keeganput his gunand badge onthe desk and walked out of the office.
Rileysighed loudlyand turned to look at Mateo. “He’s not evenKeegananymore.”
Mateo pulled Rileyinto him; he felt his husband shakinginhis arms. “It’s okay, babe.”
“No it’s not. Keeganis myfriend,” Rileysobbed.
“He’s important to allofus,”Josh nodded. “We need to fixthis, guys.”
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