by Reina Torres
“Hey.” Her sleepy voice drew him out of his reverie, and the feeling of her palm against his cheek made him lean into the touch. “Something wrong?”
“Not a thing.” Shaking his head, Conor smiled down at her and used his fingertip to soothe the deep crease of worry between her eyebrows. “I’m here with you.”
Smiling back, she sighed. “Being here with you is pretty amazing, too.” Rolling onto her back she stretched, arching her back as the stretch pointed her toes and lengthened her arms. He could tell from the peaceful glow of her complexion that she was luxuriating in the feel of the sun on her skin and pull of her muscles beneath.
And the soft moaning sigh that burst from her lips had him as hard as a rock.
“What do you want to do tonight?” His voice was still a little rough around the edges, but she was fair sure it wouldn’t change until they were truly mates.
Turning back to her side, she looked at him with a questioning glance. “When do you have to fight again?”
He shrugged. “I don’t have to,” he told her in all honesty, “I have my pension and the money that I set aside while I was serving. I fight because it lets me work out the frustration that I was carrying around. Beating down some jackasses and making money doing it was just icing on the cake.”
She laughed at the way he talked about his fighting. “You’re not going to quit because of me, are you?” She rushed on. “Or if you want to quit, either way is fine. Whatever you want to do. I wouldn’t ask you to do anything just for me.”
“If you had a reason you wanted me to quit, I’d listen,” he assured her, “but I’m in no real danger during the fights. Most of the fighters are all the same. We fight to keep ourselves under control. The outlet for our animal sides helps us to bleed out danger, in more ways than one.”
“What about the Kodiak from last night? What was that?”
Conor was about to shrug, but he knew she wouldn’t buy that hard-assed gesture. Hollis wasn’t blind and he respected her enough to tell her the truth.
“That match was scheduled months ago. If I wasn’t contractually responsible for fighting him, I would have cancelled when Gerri called. I knew he was going to be a jackass about it.”
“Now, that seems a little unfair to jackasses.”
He heard the laughter in her tone and reached out a hand, brushing a thick curl back from her face. How had he ever survived until she came into his life?
“I see your point, and I will gladly apologize to the whole species.”
“There was a look in his eyes,” she reached out a hand and touched Conor’s arm, “he wasn’t just interested in winning. He wanted to hurt you.”
Our mate.
Deep inside, the bear rolled onto his back, offering Hollis his belly while his big dark eyes rolled back in bliss.
And Conor had to agree. She was perfect for them.
“Come here, little one.”
He said the words, but he didn’t make her move much. Once she reached out for him, he gathered her in his arms and folded his legs underneath him so he could place her in his lap and gather her close.
Hollis showed no resistance, only an eager need to be in his arms.
“Did that bother you, Hollis? Did you worry about me even then?”
#
She burrowed her hands under his shirt and laid them flat on his chest. Dipping her chin down toward her chest, she moved her hands up until her fingertips found his nipples. Skating over them she slowly lowered her hands back down and settled on his abs. “I worried. Of course I did, Conor. What a strange thing to ask me.” She knew her voice had a bit of an edge to it, but it couldn’t be helped.
Having Conor remind her of those terrifying minutes had turned her stomach into knots.
She was vaguely aware that he was speaking to her, but inside her head she was replaying the fight. But this time, it was in slow motion.
And in the back of her head she heard her father’s voice descending against her soul as a physical blow.
“And really, girl, what good are you? A human has no hope to defend the people against danger. You’d be a worthless mate. And even more worthless as a parent to a cub. How would you protect them?”
“Hollis?”
She was aware of Conor’s presence. She felt him touching her shoulder and shaking her gently.
It wasn’t until he cupped her face in his hands that her mind was suddenly cleared and she lurched back into the present.
“You have to stop. We have to stop!”
Hollis could feel his confusion, but when she met Conor’s eyes she only saw his concern.
“Hey, hey,” He crooned to her, and then wrapped his arms lightly around her body, “calm down, little one. What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” She heard herself parrot his question and bit the inside of her cheek. “Everything.”
“Hollis-”
“No!”
She would have fallen butt first into the grass if he hadn’t kept his arms around her.
“Oh, Gerri’s going to be so mad.”
“What’s this about Gerri? You know she was thrilled to bring us together. And I think you know what’s between us, Hollis. We’re mates, meant to be. Nothing could come between us.”
“I’m broken.” She winced as she said the word that others had thrown at her for much of her life. “You should know everything that’s wrong with me before you ruin the rest of your life, Conor. It’s only fair.”
“Okay,” his voice tried to soothe her, “Okay… Tell me.” Nodding, he shifted her on his lap until her legs trailed off behind him, and her body was cuddled in his arms.
She knew she should put some distance between them, but she was greedy enough to take his heat while she could. She might need the memory in the future when she lost him.
“You’re a bear shifter-”
“And you’re my mate.”
“You don’t understand.” She shook her head, sending her hair flying. “But I’m not a bear.”
He shrugged. “Okay.”
“No,” she pushed, “it’s not okay. My parents were shifters. Every generation on both sides of my family are shifters.”
“That’s great, baby.” Before she could see him move, he’d placed a kiss on her temple. “What a great family.”
“But I don’t shift.”
“That’s okay.”
“How can you say that?” She shifted in his arms to look up at him.
Conor was looking at her, his gaze roaming over her face in a lazy pattern. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”
She gaped at him. “Will you be serious?”
His chuckle seemed to surround her, his breath ruffling tendrils of her hair.
“I am serious, Hollis. You’re so beautiful.”
“I’m a disaster,” she blew out a breath of her own, this one full of frustration. “Thank goodness we didn’t… you know. If we had it would have been horrible!”
His hands slipped down, cupped her backside, and brought her an inch closer. Close enough to feel the heavy press of his erection under her.
“Now I’m not sure what ‘you know’ is, but last night you shared yourself with me, Hollis. It’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received.”
Wrapping his arms tighter about her body he drew her tighter into his embrace.
“And when we finally make love,” his voice grew heavier as his body swelled against her, “when I’m finally inside you and find your pulse under my lips… and then my teeth-”
Her pulse thundered in her ears and at the apex of her thighs, the simple cotton panties she wore under her dress soaked through at the thoughts he put in her head and the sensations that his touch wrought on her body.
“And when you let me fill your body the way you fill my heart,” his lips pressed against the sensitive skin just under her jaw, “imagine what that will feel like, Hollis.”
She nodded, mindlessly. She wanted to argue, but his fingers had found their way un
der her and even through the soft fabric of her dress, she could feel the tips of his fingers slide along her folds, opening them ever so slightly.
“Think of how good you’ll feel when you’re wrapped around me. Your arms around my shoulders. Your legs around my waist.” He groaned and Hollis felt him curl his hips into her and that insistent push nudged his fingers in deeper.
“And your body,” he flexed his fingers, eliciting a startled gasp from her lips, “I’ll feel your pussy stretched around me so tight. Slick and wet and sweet as honey, Hollis.”
She had no idea how it had happened, but the front of her dress was open, buttons freed, and her skin flushed in the later afternoon sun.
Conor gave her a lift and she was flush against him.
She wrapped her legs tightly about his waist and tried to rub her hips against his, but couldn’t seem to get the right friction between them.
“I know,” he groaned into her ear, his cock swelling under her body, pushing his fingers deeper into the crease he’d created, “when we have a cub, you’re going to be the best mom and-”
Cub?
“No! See?” She struggled to disentangle herself from his embrace. Tried to move away from him without his fingers and his cock distracting her. Conor was just too tempting.
“You have to understand.”
“Hollis?” She heard the first notes of frustration in his voice. “Tell me what’s upsetting you.”
To his credit, he helped her stand and when she’d managed to right her clothing, he placed his hands lightly on her shoulder giving her distance, but also his warmth, and support.
And that, his gentle touch, almost made her keep silent. She had to be insane to risk losing him.
But he deserved to know.
“I’m a disaster to my family, Conor. A mistake. I’m just trying to warn you.”
She felt his hands tense on her shoulders, but he remained silent.
Another gift of his kindness.
“My birth wasn’t just an embarrassment to my father. The midwife cautioned my parents that I would likely have issues as I grew up. The fact that I don’t have the ability to shift is something well-known in my valley.
“When I became an adult, my father gathered every single man in the valley and I met them all. Not a single spark of recognition. At first, I still had hope, but the next year he invited more and more men from the valleys around us and still nothing.”
Hollis felt Conor’s thumbs rubbing against the rise of her shoulders.
“It wasn’t just the lack of connection to any of the men. I have the barest connection to the heightened senses that shifters have and the most important of all of my failings-”
“Hollis-”
She barreled right on.
“I probably can’t have cubs.” She took in a gasp of air. “Or children of any kind. I just… I just can’t.”
“Was that what your doctor said? We can always get a second opinion.”
“Doctor?” Hollis knew that her laugh was a little too high, a little too thin. “You probably know for yourself that bears are notoriously healthy. We haven’t had a doctor in our valley for,” she looked off to the side as she wracked her mind to find an answer, “for generations. The midwife was very clear when she talked to my father.”
“She didn’t give you any hope? Did she send you to a doctor to do any tests?”
Again, Hollis looked at Conor and shook her head, the skin between her brows pinched tight. “The midwife has been in attendance for every birth since she was a young woman, probably more than sixty years of healthy and robust shifters. She knows-”
“She knows only what she knows.” Conor rubbed his hands up and down her upper arms and back up to her shoulders. “We have a doctor here in Sylvan City who specializes in shifters. You should talk to Willa. That’s who she sees.”
She knew that her skepticism must have shown on her face because the smile that Conor gave her was a little strained.
She wasn’t sure she even wanted to entertain the idea. After all, she was pretty much convinced that she was just going to mess everything up. Isn’t that what she’d always done?
Still, Conor was trying to help her. Trying to reassure her.
And as long as she was here, she owed it to him to try to see things through his eyes.
Or, at the very least, think about it.
A wind blew through the woods, off the lake and she shivered from head to toe.
Conor reached out, probably to pull her closer and into his warmth, but instinct took over and she stepped back and away from him.
With a gasp, she realized what she’d done. The distance that she’d put between them wasn’t much in inches, but if the tight-lipped frown on his face was anything to go by, she’d hurt Conor.
“I’m so sorry, Conor.”
She meant the words but she knew that her actions had cut him deep.
And herself too.
She wanted desperately to throw herself into his arms and kiss him until she forgot all the doubts in her head.
She wanted him. Every inch of his amazing body. And the bear that lived within his soul.
But sometimes what you want isn’t what you should have.
Sometimes having what you want is just a matter of being greedy.
She didn’t want to be that person.
It was all so confusing. Between the physical pull of their bodies and the doubts that shouted down the hope that Conor was trying to give her, she felt like a rope fraying from the tug of war.
Was there a way to have what she wanted and make sure that Conor had what he deserved?
Mate?
She heard the concern in her head and almost laughed. Being around Conor was starting to drive her crazy.
Hollis was starting to hear things.
She lifted her hands to rub at her temples and felt the loss of Conor’s touch when he moved his hands away when her movement shrugged off his touch.
The pounding of her pulse echoed in the confines of her skull. “I must be really tired,” she swallowed and saw Conor flinch out of the corner of her eye, “I’m sorry, do you mind if I go and lie down for a while?”
She knew before he spoke that he was going to tell her to do just that and it made her feel awful inside.
What was even worse, is that a moment before he opened the door for her and gently passed a hand over her hair, smoothing it back from her face.
That he could be so kind to her when she knew he had to be frustrated, only made her feel like a complete jerk.
Reaching out she set her hand on his chest and felt the steady rhythm of his heart. “Conor, I-”
“You don’t have to say anything right now, Hollis. Just get some rest.”
She wasn’t sure what to make of the way he cut her off, but she wasn’t going to argue.
With every moment that past she was starting to crumble. Blinking away her tears, Hollis walked inside and went into the bedroom and closed the door.
Chapter Seven
The next morning at Primal Fitness, the gym was pumping before the sun was up and that allowed Conor to walk in unnoticed.
For a while.
In fact, the other guys didn’t even notice that he was there until Maggie showed up.
Cage Gamble’s mate was one of the sweetest women he knew and given that her mate was his former team leader, he would have laid his life down for her… no question.
“Hey, Conor.”
She stopped beside him and leaned on the barbell rack as he finished his last set.
“Maggie? You okay?”
“I’m fine, Conor.” Her laugh warmed him inside. “You’re always so sweet to ask.”
He felt the corner of his mouth tilt up a little as he set the barbell down on the rack. “I’m always wondering. And Francis?”
Maggie sighed. “Life with a teenaged lioness is always interesting. Right now, she’s constantly looking for a chance to unsheathe her claws.”
Conor wi
nced. “That sounds dangerous.”
Maggie shrugged. “It’s never dull, that’s for sure.”
Picking up his water bottle, he took a long drink. “I can’t argue with that. I don’t have any experience with female lions, but my cousins were always ready to throw down when they were Francis’ age. Working with Cage and your father taught me a lot but my earliest fight training was just trying to keep my hide in one piece when one of my cousins got mad at me.”
Maggie’s laugh went from giggle to gut laugh and nearly every head in the gym turned to look.
Including Cage.
There was a moment of appraisal in Cage’s eyes and then he relaxed. If anyone had any question about whether a mating bond could be successful, all they had to do was meet Cage and Maggie. The two of them were a perfect match. Where Cage was all whiskers and claws as his jaguar, Maggie eased his wild side and yet she easily matched him in passion.
It was their relationship that had given him such hope in finding happiness for himself.
Prowling across the sprawling main floor of the gym, Cage stepped up beside his mate and wrapped a protective arm around her.
Everyone in the shifter community knew whose mate she was and no sane shifter would even look twice at the beautiful woman, but that didn’t stop Cage from a blatant display of protection.
In fact, it was unlikely that Cage would ever stop pulling her close when there were other men around.
Even when they were alone, Conor knew that Cage would pull Maggie into his embrace.
It’s how he felt about Hollis, and they’d barely known each other more than a day.
“Hey.”
He felt the muscles between his shoulder blades pinch tight. The tone of Maggie’s voice said she had something to say.
To him.
Damn it.
“How are things going? We saw you leave with a woman last night.” Her voice was so sweet and soft he felt like he was on the verge of confessing… to what, he didn’t know.
“I didn’t even know you were looking for a mate, Conor.”