by Hamel, B. B.
I turn to head back to the sponsored dorms, figuring I’d pack her stuff up, but something catches my attention. There’s another person lingering nearby, a man wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into worn jeans and cowboy boots. He detaches himself from the tree he was leaning against and flicks a cigarette onto the ground, stubbing it out with the heel of his right boot.
I look at the man and feel my body tense. I know this man, have known him for a very long time. I didn’t expect to see him here, hell, I didn’t expect to ever see him again. He’s not the kind of person that would typically leave Texas for something that isn’t the most important thing in the world.
He strolls over to me, smiling laconically. His mustache is groomed and his short hair is cropped close and slicked back.
“Hey you, boy,” he calls in greeting.
I clench my jaw. “Manny,” I say.
Manny stops a few feet away and tilts his head. “Your daddy said I’d find you here. Didn’t expect to find you with a friend.”
“What are you doing out here?” I ask him. “My father finally decided you’re completely useless?”
He flinches at that. “Easy there. I’m not here to make enemies.”
“What are you here for then?”
Manny sighs and takes a box of cigarettes from his back pocket. He flips one out and sticks it between his teeth before taking out a lighter and breathing in deep.
Manny is my father’s right-hand man. He’s been the number two for as long as I can remember, probably since before I was even born. He’s a nasty man, a snake of a human, even worse than my father. He’s the one my father turns to when dirty things need doing, and Manny never flinches from it.
His presence out here is making me nervous. Manny doesn’t get sent on small tasks like this, whatever it may be. If he’s here, it’s important.
“Your father sent me to fetch you.”
I blink for a second then cock my head. “Did he now?”
“Look, Walker. I get it, you didn’t want any of this, and now you’re rebelling against your old man. I can’t rightly say any of this is easy on you. But son, you gotta come home now.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Manny. You of all people should know that.”
He looks at me, sucking in on his cigarette and breathing a long white gust back out the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t make this hard on us,” he says. “You know how your father is. If he wants you home, you go home.”
“I haven’t done what my father wants for a long time.”
“Only because he’s let you.” The man sighs. “Listen, I hate that I’m out here having to drag you back home like some damn nanny, but he didn’t trust anyone else. Don’t be difficult.”
I sneer at Manny. “Difficult? Do you even know why I’m out here?”
“To marry that pretty oil girl. Sounds terrible.” He rolls his eyes and takes another drag.
“I’m here because my father threatened to destroy everything I’ve built. I’m only here because of that.”
He only shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”
“You know my father. How do you think he’d respond to threats?”
Manny raises an eyebrow. “I see what you’re getting at.”
“I’m done being under his thumb. Go back and tell him that.”
He sighs and flicks his cigarette down. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” he says. “But the thing is, I can’t go back until I have you, and I hate leaving Texas.”
He takes a few steps toward me and I can see his intent. He’s going to try and drag me back with him, even if it means doing it against my will.
Maybe back when I was a little kid, this would’ve worked. Maybe he thinks I’m still that little kid, still that thin, dirty, disobedient child.
But as he gets closer and I don’t back off, I think he starts to realize something.
I’m bigger than he is.
Oh, not by a whole lot. He’s not a small man. But I’m taller and broader and younger. And I haven’t been smoking for twenty years. I can see him doing the math and I watch his hand drift toward his belt.
“Don’t,” I say softly.
That makes him pause, his eyes hard. I know what he’s reaching for. I don’t see it, but I know he’s got a gun there. The man doesn’t go anywhere without it. He’s a Texan, after all.
“What makes you think I shouldn’t?” he asks, a slow drawl, but his hand doesn’t move.
“Look around,” I say, not moving, not breaking my gaze away. “You think these liberal arts girls are going to react well to seeing a gun out in the open? This isn’t Texas, Manny.”
He narrows his eyes but slowly relaxes. “You may be right about that.”
“You want to bring me in to my father? You’re going to have to be a little more creative.”
I watch him struggle with that for a second. I can tell he wants to rush me, pull the gun, do something. Manny isn’t the kind of man that’s used to being denied something he wants and doing nothing about it. But if he’s smart, he won’t make a move.
He finally reaches back and takes out another cigarette. I release some of the tension I’ve been storing in my muscles, relaxing just a little bit.
“All right then,” he says finally. “I see how it’s going to be.”
“I know you’re gonna want to return with more muscle, but you should think twice about that.”
He grins at me. “You remind me a lot of your old man, you know that.”
I shudder. “That’s not the compliment you think it is.”
“Ain’t an insult, neither.” He turns and walks off with a wave. “See you soon, kid.”
I watch him go, staring at the gun-shaped bump on his back tucked into the waistband of his jeans.
Goddamn Texan assholes. They think they can carry guns wherever they want to, like it’s some God-given right to own a weapon that’s only purpose is to murder people. If he had pulled it, I bet the girls around here would’ve freaked the fuck out, and I don’t need that kind of attention right now.
I stroll back to the dorm, dark thoughts brewing in my mind.
My father wants me back, but that’s not a good thing. I’m sure he knows about me dropping Aylin and wants to chew me out. The man still thinks of me as something he owns but it’s time to step out from under that shadow.
I know what that means. He’s going to destroy what I’ve built, destroy my company. That’ll affect me and all my employees, and I hate that bastard for it.
But I know I can give my people good severance packages and still walk away with cash in my pocket. If he never gives me another dime, I’ll be happier for it. I won’t need my trust, any of the investments. I can be free of him completely.
He thinks he still owns me, but he doesn’t. It’s just time for him to figure that out.
9
Kylee
I spend that afternoon at class and end up meeting Iris and Jenna out near the lake before dinner. We walk down a popular path, skirting around other groups of girls talking and laughing in the surprisingly good weather.
“So you really like him, huh?” Jenna asks me.
I shake my head. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“But you… slept over with him.” Iris whispers it like it’s some horrible dirty secret.
“Yeah, I know,” I say as Jenna elbows Iris in the ribs. “But that doesn’t mean we’re in love.”
“Shocking, I know,” Jenna says.
Iris glares at her and looks back at me. “Look, I’m not some prude, I’m just saying, can you really say you don’t like him at all even though you… you know?”
I glance away from her, over toward the water. She has a point even though I hate to admit it. I can pretend like I’m tough as nails and I can divorce sex from feelings, but it’s not true.
“It’s okay if you do, you know,” Jenna says softly.
“Just because you fell in love with a sponsor doesn’t mean we’re all go
ing to.” I say it a little more harshly than I meant and Jenna frowns at me.
“You don’t have to love him to like him,” Iris quickly cuts in.
I feel guilty for lashing out at Jenna. She means well, I just think she has a skewed perspective. She thinks everyone can be just like her…
But I’m not. Things with Walker are complicated. It’s like we’re playing some game together and we both sort of secretly hate each other… but we’re playing to win anyway.
It’s hot and it’s complicated and I don’t know what any of it means.
“I guess I’m just trying to figure it out still,” I say finally.
Jenna’s expression softens. “Yeah, okay. I get it. I’m sorry if I’m being pushy. I just want you to be happy like I am.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
“I was skeptical at first, you know. It could work out.”
“She’s right,” Iris adds. “We could all end up with gorgeous, rich, amazingly well-hung husbands and be best friends forever and totally happy until the day we die surrounded by hundreds of grandchildren.”
I make a face at her. “Hundreds?”
“Or tens, whatever.”
I groan. “I’m having two kids and that’s it.”
“Why two?” Jenna asks.
“So they have someone to play with, but they won’t outnumber us.”
Jenna and Iris laugh. “Who’s the guy in this scenario?” Iris asks.
“Nobody,” I grumble although I’m definitely picturing Walker. I blush as the girls laugh at me again.
“Okay, come on,” Jenna says. “Let’s go get something to eat.”
“Finally,” Iris says. “We’ve been walking for hours.”
“Ten minutes,” I say to her and we all laugh as we head back to campus. The cafeteria isn’t far away and we all dig into our bags to get out our student IDs in order to get in. But as I dig around in mine, I let out a curse.
“I left it back in the dorm,” I say. “That moron moved it and now I’m all messed up.”
“I’ll go back with you,” Jenna offers.
“No, that’s okay. Don’t leave Iris. She’ll riot.”
Iris glares but she doesn’t argue. “I’m hungry!” she snaps.
I laugh and wave, “I’ll be back in a minute.” I hurry off, leaving my two friends behind.
I’m preoccupied as I walk. I keep thinking about that fantasy of two kids and a husband. I wonder if I really can see myself with Walker for real. I don’t know what he’d feel about that, if he’d even want to be a father or if he wants a wife or anything. All I know is he wants me, but that could just be for… you know, my body, or whatever.
I wish I could just ask him but I can already see how that’d go.
Me: Hey, Walker. Do you want to get married? Settle down with me and get me pregnant? Twice though, no more, no less. I gotta have two babies. You down for that?
Walker: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: I mean no pressure but let’s get married and get me pregnant NOW, okay?
Walker: Guess I’d better start running.
It’s not exactly a flattering picture. I mean, I’m not a crazy person. I’m not interested in getting married right now to anyone, much less to that asshole. I just think about the future, that’s all… and I wonder if he does, too.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I don’t even know if I like him. Iris and Jenna have this stupid little fantasy in my head and I’d better get it out before I see him again. I swear, the man can read my mind.
I turn down a side walkway, trying to shave off a few seconds as I hurry to the dorms, when I hear someone call my name. I should just keep going but I slow and stop before slowly turning.
Aylin and her little cronies come walking toward me. She’s flanked by four girls this time, two on each side.
And she’s grinning like a moron.
“Just who we were looking for,” she says viciously.
“Aylin,” I say, “I’m not in the mood for this.”
“Mood?” she laughs as they get closer. “Fuck your moods, bitch.”
I should run away. I don’t know why I don’t start moving. They haven’t surrounded me or anything, but they’re getting closer and if I don’t move now, it’s going to be too late.
I can’t seem to make my legs work. They get closer and it’s like I’m rooted to the ground. I realize just as they stop a few feet away that it’s fear paralyzing me and I feel pathetic. Why would I be afraid of these spoiled rich girls?
Because I know what they’re capable of…
I’ve heard the stories, some of them rumors, some of them right from Jenna herself. I know what these girls do when they’re angry.
“Well, bitch, you gonna apologize now?” Aylin asks me as her friends laugh. “Or are you too stupid to know what’s good for you?”
“Go to hell,” I croak.
“Grab her,” Aylin snaps.
Three girls come at me. One hangs back, frowning a little bit, like this wasn’t what she expected. Two of those girls grab my arms and the third grabs my bag, ripping it off. They toss me off balance and one of them shoves me onto my ass.
The girls cackle. Aylin walks over to me and kneels down in front of me.
“Listen, bitch. I don’t want to make your life a living hell, I really don’t. But I’m going to if you don’t stop taking what’s mine. Do you understand?”
There’s anger in her voice and eyes, but the thing that really gets me is the desperation.
She’s afraid of something. She’s doing this because she feels like she has to.
“Aylin, I thought we were just scaring her,” the girl that hung back says.
“Oh, fuck off, Britney,” Aylin snaps at the girl. She stands up and kicks me in the chest, knocking me back.
My head hits the pavement. I groan as black stars shoot across my vision.
“Aylin!” The girl named Britney runs over. “What the hell?”
“Fuck off, you pussy,” Aylin says, sounding desperate.
I get up on one elbow, rubbing my head with a groan. I watch as the other three girls rip open my bag and dump it out on the ground. Vaguely, I’m aware of my laptop dropping down onto the concrete with a clatter and one of the girls laughing a she picks it up and slams it down even harder.
I watch them stomp on my books, tear out pages, destroy my laptop. Meanwhile, Aylin’s arguing with the Britney girl.
I realize nobody’s watching me. So I manage to stumble to my feet.
“Hey!” Aylin shouts. “Bitch! I’m not through with you yet.”
But I’m already running. I charge at the group of three girls, surprising this short heavy girl with dark eyelashes. I slam right into her, shoving her to the ground as hard as I can. She hits with a groan and I elbow past the other two. I think I catch one in the mouth but I don’t stop to investigate.
I just run. I’m dizzy from where my head hit the pavement and I know that if I stay, they’re going to do worse. They’re going to be pissed as it is.
I run as fast as I can. I run blindly, stupidly. I still have my phone shoved in the back pocket of my jeans but I bet it’s cracked from when I was knocked on my ass. I don’t stop to check it though. I just keep running until I end up outside of the sponsored dorms.
I’m breathing hard when I go inside. The man behind the desk looks concerned but he doesn’t say anything as I walk past. I head up in the elevators, up to my room.
This is the safest place I know. The girls can’t follow me here, but more than that, Walker’s going to be in there. As much as it all confuses me, I still find it strangely comforting to have him around.
I hurry up to his door, no, it’s my door, either way I stop there and lean up against it, breathing heavy. I’m sweating a little bit and still dizzy and my head hurts from where I hit it. I catch my breath before finally knocking.
He answers right away. He looks the same to me as when I left him… but I’m seeing him differently. He looks a
little surprised to see me then his eyes narrow. “Are you okay?” he asks.
“Aylin,” I say.
He growls and brings me inside. He gets me ice for my head and paces in front of me like a wild cat.
“I’ll kill her,” he says.
“Walker.”
He glances at me. “Fine. I won’t kill her. But I’ll make this stop. God damn it, Kylee. She should never, ever touch you.”
“It’s okay,” I say vaguely, smiling at him. “I’m already feeling better.”
He stops and faces me. He suddenly drops to his knees in front of me and takes one of my hands between his.
“Listen to me,” he says. “I brought you into this, and I’m sorry for that. I never meant…”
“I know that.” I smile and touch his face. “You’re nice, aren’t you?”
He cocks his head. “What?”
I laugh a little. Maybe it’s the bump to the head but I’m feeling weirdly at ease right now.
“You pretend like you’re this bad boy, angry all the time, cocky and conceited and whatever, but you’re really nice, aren’t you?”
He smirks a little. “Only to people I want.”
“And you want me?”
“I think that’s obvious by now.”
I blink and stare into his eyes. I knew he wanted my body, but the idea that he wants me…
He moves closer. “I’ll make it stop,” he says. “I promise.”
“I’m not sure you can. And isn’t it against the rules?”
“You know I don’t care about that.”
“Of course not. Bad boy.”
He grins and sits up, pushing me back against the couch. He puts his right hand on my cheek, moving it back to slide the tips of his fingers into my hair, and he kisses me.
It’s a special kind of kiss. There’s hunger, desire, but it’s also… tender, gentle, slow. Like he doesn’t want to hurt me. Like he just wants to taste me, to know that I’m still there.
He kisses me deep and I bask in it. God, this is what I’ve been wanting but haven’t known it. I wish I could’ve asked for this sooner.