by Meg Easton
Joselyn walked into the room and sat on her bed. “So tell me what you’re thinking. And stop giving me that look, because it’s been years since I have pulled the older sister card and told you what to do.”
“True.”
“And not only am I family, but I’m also your best friend. And best friends and family talk this kind of stuff out with each other.”
Macie sat down cross-legged on the bed facing Joselyn and opened the binder. “Okay. Here’s what my monthly income looked like from each of the different programs I run before I started making changes, and here’s the one from after.”
Joselyn took both of them in her hands, looking back and forth between the two. “Wow. This is pretty incredible.”
Macie nodded. “Part of me is actually kind of grateful that Max gave me a deadline like that, because it pushed me to try some things that I had been a little wary of trying. If I would have known they’d work out so well, I would’ve tried them a while ago. I just wish the deadline didn’t also come with me losing my business.”
“You’re not going to lose your business.”
“I don’t see how I can keep it. I have no guarantee that these numbers will stay the same month after month. And I have no idea if something will happen with me or the business that I haven’t predicted.”
Joselyn set the papers aside. “I know you’re a good saver. How are your bank accounts looking?”
“For my business account, I have about six months of expenses saved up.”
“That’s fantastic, Macie. How about your personal accounts?”
Macie handed her the spreadsheet with her personal finance information, and Joselyn’s eyes grew big. “Whoa! You’ve managed to save up that much money? Macie, you could practically pay for two-thirds of the entire building cost with this!”
Panic coursed through Macie at the thought of there not being a big chunk of money sitting in her account, ready for any emergency that came along. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, and tried to slow her breathing.
“Relax, Macie. I’m not suggesting you should dump it all into your building. I’m just saying that if something happened, you’d have options. This opens so many possibilities.”
Macie shook her head. “It’s not enough of a safety net. It won’t cover everything. There’s no guarantees that if I buy the building that bad things won’t happen.” She looked down at the papers. Papers that she’d been studying for the past three weeks. There were just so many unknowns that she couldn’t prepare for. And the unknowns that she did know to prepare for, like what would happen if she got sick or injured or any of a million things that could stop her from being able to work for more than a day or two, were all things she hadn’t made a great plan for yet.
“I think you’re letting fear of unclear outcomes stop you from some pretty great things. In both your business and your relationship with Aaron.”
Macie’s head jerked up. “With Aaron?”
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you don’t see the parallels between where you’re at with your business and where you’re at with Aaron.”
In truth, she hadn’t. So she just looked at her sister, blinking.
“Macie, you have planned and prepared for this business since you were in high school, getting every single duck exactly in a row. And you have planned and prepared to find the person you’re meant to be with for the rest of your life since high school, getting every single duck there in a row too. And you have put time and energy and your whole heart into both of them. But when it comes down to making a really big commitment with either of them, you back away.”
“I didn’t back away—Aaron did!”
“And have you gone after him? Have you let him know how you feel, and that you think the relationship is worth fighting for? And what about before the break-up? That day when we were out Christmas shopping and you confessed that the two of you had been fake dating, you were backing away plenty. Were you backing away before then, too?”
Macie opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out, so she closed it again. After a few moments, she looked down and said, “He said he doesn’t want to get married. To anyone, ever.”
“I know he did. Do you know if he still feels that way? Because the man I saw at the Christmas Kickoff party wore the face of someone who’d had a change of heart.” Joselyn got up from the bed and walked to Macie’s desk. “Where’s your Future Husband list?”
“Middle drawer, right on top.”
Joselyn brought the sheet of pale blue card stock filled with Macie’s handwriting as a seventeen-year-old, written nearly a decade ago, and put it on the bed between them as she sat back down. The edges of the paper were a little bent and more rounded than they once were, after years of pulling the paper out and looking and re-reading it, making mental checkmarks with each guy she dated.
“Which of these attributes does Aaron fill?”
Macie went down the list, making a little checkmark with her finger with each item. Communicates with me well, is fun to be around, encourages me and supports me in my choices, takes care of me when I’m sick, will do crazy spontaneous things with me, knows how to cook, shows that he puts me before his friends, would make a good dad, is kind to others.
“So basically all of them.”
“My business looks good on paper too,” Macie said, “but that doesn’t tell the whole story. There have been times over the past few weeks where I’ve thought Aaron and I communicated super well, and on a level deeper than I’ve connected with anyone in a really long time. Maybe ever. But then he ran into something that affected our relationship, and he didn’t come to me with it. And since he didn’t, we couldn’t tackle it together and come up with a solution. He just let himself fall down a dark hole, and only came to me once he was resigned to living in that dark hole. How could we have a good partnership like that? I had thought he was a great communicator before this. See? There are just no guarantees. With Aaron or my business.”
Joselyn reached out and held Macie’s hands in hers. “You’ve planned and prepared well, Macie. You’ve built yourself an impressive safety net. There aren’t guarantees that things will work out the way you planned. You know this better than most people do. When you make a huge big commitment and things go a different direction than you thought they would, you adjust, just like you’ve been doing all along without there being a big commitment.”
Macie looked at the papers spread before her that, in black and white, showed the qualities of her business, and in blue and pencil lead, the qualities of Aaron, and whispered, “But I’m afraid.” Her voice came out squeaky and small. She was afraid of making huge commitments to both of them, and risking something going wrong. She was afraid of losing her business since so much of her heart was wrapped up in it. But most of all, she was afraid of losing Aaron, after having so much of her heart wrapped up in him.
“Do you know what the opposite of fear is?”
Macie looked up and met her sister’s eyes, her head shaking a fraction.
“It’s faith. Faith and fear can’t co-exist, so if you choose one, the other disappears. I know it takes a big leap! It did for me, too. But you aren’t going to get the truly great rewards if you choose fear over faith.”
“Do you really think I can take a leap of faith that big?”
“As your best friend, as a fellow businesswoman, and most importantly, as your sister, yes. I know you better than anyone, Macie. And without a doubt, yes.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aaron knocked softly on the door and waited, shifting the big box that sat in his arms. A few moments later, Macie’s mom carefully opened the door, a wide smile spread across her face, and whispered, “Hi, Aaron. Come in.”
“Hello, Emeline. It’s so good to see you again. Does anyone know?”
She shook her head. “Still just me and Joseph.”
Aaron set the box down on the ground, took off his gloves and put them in his pockets, then handed his coat, scarf,
and hat to Macie’s mom.
“Macie is about to make an announcement,” she said, still in whispered tones, “so I need to get back in there. But first,” she led him to a small table under the big family picture that hung on the entry wall opposite the front door, “here it is.” She handed Aaron a fancy box about the size of a shirt box, then reached out and placed her hand on Aaron’s arm. She looked up at Aaron with a look of silent but complete approval on her face.
Aaron nodded down at the box in his hands and mouthed Thank you for this. Then Emeline turned and hurried around the corner into the family room that sat on the other side of the wall.
Muffled sounds and occasional laughter came from the other room. Aaron took a deep breath and crept near the opening so he could hear what was happening.
“Okay, enough with the balled-up wrapping paper war,” Joseph said. “I believe Macie has an announcement she’d like to make.”
“Grandpa!” one of Macie’s older nephews said. “You can’t throw one more after you called a cease-fire!”
“Oops. I better throw two more, then.”
Judging by everyone’s laughter and shouts, Macie must’ve intercepted the second one and tossed it right back at her dad. Then, except for the sounds the littlest kids were making and an occasional dog bark, everyone quieted down.
“Yesterday,” Macie said, “Joselyn went all ‘big sister’ on me— but don’t worry, not ‘bossy big sister’—”
“Because she knows she’d have to fight me for that title,” Nicole said, to lots of laughs.
“And she helped me to realize that I have been holding back in a couple areas of my life, and that I was shying away from making long-term commitments because of some pretty deep-seated fears. She also told me that faith wipes out fear. Apparently there were a lot of things I was unknowingly doing, and I can’t say I really wanted to believe that she was right about it.”
“Oof.”
Based on the sounds and Marcus’s burst of belly laughter, Aaron guessed that Joselyn had thrown a ball of wrapping paper at Macie.
He chuckled, knowing that by the sounds of things, Macie threw it right back.
When the noise died back down, Macie said, “So I did some pretty hefty soul-searching all day yesterday. And then last night when we were doing the live nativity and Riley, you were wearing your angel wings and halo and Janet, you were dressed as Mary and had just found out that you were going to have baby Jesus, the angel said to Mary, ‘Be not afraid.’ And then Janet, you got this look of blissful contentment on your face, and I knew that’s what I wanted. I wanted to not be afraid, and to be willing to take two huge leaps of faith, even if it was over chasms so wide that I couldn’t see the other side. Because with you guys cheering me on, how could I fail?”
Aaron could barely breathe as he waited to hear the rest of her announcement. A small scuffing sounded behind him, a shifting of position, and his attention went to the box still sitting near the door, wrapped in colorful Christmas paper.
“So last night, after everyone was all tucked into their sleeping bags all through the house, visions of sugarplums dancing in your heads, I took the first of two leaps. I logged on to Mom’s and Dad’s computer and signed the papers to buy Paws and Relax’s building, and sent them off.”
Cheers erupted from the room, and Aaron’s heart swelled. Macie had done it. He knew how tough the decision had been for her to make, and he was so proud of her. It was obvious how much she cared about her business, and how much it meant to the people of Nestled Hollow, and he was thrilled she’d be able to keep it. He set the fancy box back on the table, and went over and picked up the box by the door.
The box was big enough to be rather awkward to carry, especially with its shifting weight. He turned the corner to the family room to see thirty-four people, all dressed in Christmas-colored pajamas and hugging and congratulating Macie, and all eyes flew to him.
“Aaron!” Macie said, a look of surprise on her face. But it looked like a happy surprise, which was much more than he expected after the way he had treated her. He breathed out relief. He had suspected that her second leap of faith involved him, but he wasn’t sure if that leap was going to be away from him or toward him.
But either way, he was proud of her for making a tough decision, and he wanted to let her know that, and to show that he believed in her, even if it was coming a bit late. And then he’d need to convince her of how much he wanted that second leap of faith to be toward a future with him.
He didn’t even have to say a word, and everyone found seats on the couches, chairs, and floor, leaving an open pathway between him and Macie. She stood in front of the crowd, wearing red, white, and green striped leggings, and a nightshirt with a Christmas tree printed on the front. In his jeans and button-down shirt, he suddenly felt very wrongly dressed for the occasion.
“I heard your announcement,” he said, the smile spreading across his face. “I knew you could do it. I brought you something to show how much I believe in you.” He lifted the box a bit, and walked right up next to her.
Her eyes searched his face, and then she glanced at the box. Her face was full of questions, and he wanted to answer them, but first, he really wanted her to open the box.
Her older brother Oliver got off his chair and moved it near Macie, so Aaron set the box down on top of it. But still, Macie’s eyes wouldn’t leave his.
“Open it already!” one of the kids called out.
Aaron wanted to give him a high five for saying what he was thinking, but he didn’t want to take his eyes off Macie.
She lifted the tag on the top of the box and read out loud, “To my Mysterious Goddess, from your Dashing Man who believes in you one hundred percent.” She gave him a smile before lifting the lid off the top and then she gasped.
“Oh my goodness, you got me a dog!” She pulled the dog out of the box to the sounds of Aww’s and “he’s so cute” from everyone in the room, and the dog immediately gave a happy bark. His coat was a milk-chocolate brown, and the reindeer antlers Aaron had put on the puppy right before coming in the house were still in place. The dog was still young enough that he had the chunky toddler-like features, and his feet scrambled to find her as she pulled him to her, hugging him to her chest. He gave a second yip and licked her neck.
“From the shelter?” she asked.
“Of course,” he said, and she looked at the dog like she loved him even more.
The dog was trying to climb her or get into a different position or just burn some energy after waiting so patiently, and she was struggling to keep hold of him and still be able to look at Aaron. He seemed to find a position he liked, though, and settled into her arms. “That was a huge risk, Aaron Hall! You knew I could only get a new dog if I bought my building. How did you know I would put in an offer?”
“You’re an amazing woman, Macie. It’s not hard to believe in you.” She gave him a look that took his breath away, and made him think that maybe he had a chance. He was suddenly very aware of how many people were in the room, and he cleared his throat. “He’s just little now, but they said he’d likely be a medium-sized dog, and I figured that since you had big ones and smaller ones—”
“He’s perfect. As perfect as could be. Does he have a name?” She rubbed a thumb behind his ears, and the dog leaned his head back, mouth open in obvious enjoyment.
Aaron reached out and petted the dog’s head. “Nope. They found him wandering alone without a collar.”
Macie looked the dog in the eyes, studying him. “A Christmas puppy—with antlers!—from my Dashing Man. Hmm. I think I’ll name him Dasher.”
As Macie looked at the puppy, her face bright and happy, Aaron knew, once again and with absolute certainty that what he wanted most in the world was to be able to wake up every morning for the rest of his life next to her. To face whatever challenges life threw at them, and to do it side-by-side with Macie, meeting those challenges together. “That’s not actually the only thing I came here for.
”
“Oh?” Macie looked at him, her lips parted, an eyebrow raised. She set Dasher on the ground, and a few of her nieces and nephews gathered around him and petted him.
Aaron turned toward the door opening, but Macie’s mom was already out of her seat and motioned that she would get the box. A moment later, she came back into the room and handed it to him.
The box shook slightly in his hands. For as sure and confident and at peace he’d felt this morning, he had hoped that he’d be able to pull this off with a little more fearlessness. After having such a monumental change in heart and his entire way of thinking—something that only Macie could’ve affected in him—he was suddenly very worried that she didn’t feel the same way.
And there were so many people in the room watching. It was a lot of people to make himself so vulnerable in front of. But it also felt exactly right to have them here.
Their relationship had begun under the guise of dating, and he’d be forever grateful for their pact, because he’d have never gotten to know and love her without it. He’d realized that from the beginning, the parts of themselves that they’d been sharing and the ways in which they’d been connecting with each other had been anything but fake. As he’d been drowning in his sorrows and looking back at the last several weeks with her, he knew he’d been connecting to the truest, most genuine, sincere, authentic person he’d ever met.
The thoughts calmed his nerves, the box stopped shaking, and his tight throat relaxed.
“Macie,” he said, and all the chattering in the room hushed. “I met you at a time when I was most determined not to fall in love. I thought I was just getting out of the deal a teammate with a common goal—I didn’t know I was partnering up with the one person in all the world with the power to shatter the stone around my heart. That day in the ice cream shop, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Since then, I’ve found out that the beauty you have in here,” he reached out and touched three fingers just above her heart, “far outshines it. You’ve introduced me to a kind of love that I didn’t know existed, and I want to show you that same kind of love back. I want to be your teammate in life, Macie. Your partner in everything.”