“Neela hasn’t mentioned anything about it to me. I know she doesn’t want to go, but from what you and Mano are saying, should she even be going?”
Rieann paused, then nodded, her jaw set determinedly. “We’re family. We may not always like each other, but we’re family. It’s the one thing Mum really drilled into us. When Neela left, it was hard on all of us. If my getting sick was what brought her back, then there was a silver lining to having cancer.”
Rieann exhaled and leaned back in her chair, her eyes focused on him. “Look, I know Neela doesn’t want to go. I know Dad hasn’t forgiven her for missing out on his wedding. But they both need to be there. It’s the first step in a long journey toward the Smyth family being whole again.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Neela stared at the clothes laid out on the bed and pulled a piece of lint from her new blue dress. A light yellow cardigan would give it a pop of color, and simple black flats would finish the outfit.
She turned to her dresser and opened a small wooden jewelry box. Would her pearl studs be okay to wear to the party? Or would their appearance incur her father’s displeasure?
She sighed. She didn’t know anymore. It was like walking on eggshells whenever they were in the same room. She had only seen her father a handful of times in the last year. Their encounters were always brief, usually at family dinners, surrounded by many people, and Mano was always present. He took the attention off her.
Attending a public celebration of her father and stepmother’s anniversary was a big step. She had picked up the phone half a dozen times yesterday with an excuse, but she knew not showing up would be unforgivable. If she wanted any chance for a relationship with her father, she had to go.
But did she really want that chance? Wouldn’t it be easier not to have him in her life? Her mum would be disappointed if she answered ‘yes.’
Her phone buzzed. “Yes, Blake.”
“Well, good morning to you too. I’m sending you a picture of what I thought I’d wear to the party.”
“Blake, it doesn’t matter.”
“I want to make a good impression.”
“To be honest, you could be wearing a pair of shorts and a shirt full of holes, and no one would care.”
“Just the socks. I want your thoughts about the socks.”
“Who pays attention to socks?”
“You’d be surprised.”
“I’m not giving you feedback on socks, Blake. I’ll see you in an hour.”
“Nee—”
“Bye.”
She tried to keep a straight face, but the smile remained. She couldn’t remember anyone who made her smile as much as Blake. He wasn’t Mano, but she knew her family would be more than happy to shower attention on him. Anything to make the day go a little faster would be welcomed.
He was on time, and to the score of Madame Butterfly, Neela watched the landscape change from urban to country, the city buildings quickly giving way to wide open land as Blake expertly drove them home.
Home?
Neela guessed it still was. Despite her feelings for her father, it was where she had grown up.
She snuck a look at her driver. He looked content, lost either in his own thoughts or in the music. She had offered to hire a car to take them both, but he insisted on driving. She still couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or impressed that he was interested in joining her for the full day of celebration, which would begin with a church service.
Blake wasn’t a churchgoer, but he’d told her he didn’t want to show up just for the roast pig. Besides, he argued, when the season started again, he’d have very little time to take the car out for long drives. Roast pig and a long car drive made for an almost perfect day.
“You handle the car well,” Neela remarked as they hit the highway.
“Thanks. Took a bit of practice to get used to the power and the sensitivity of the steering, but this is pretty much my dream car. I had to convince Andrew to sell it to me. Stingy bastard wanted more money than I was willing to pay.”
“If you really wanted one, why didn’t you just buy your own? New, even. Not secondhand.” Neela was confused. “You do know you’re one of the highest paid athletes in the country, right?”
He glanced at her briefly. “When we were younger, Dad’s parents lost their farm. They moved in with us, and my parents did what they had to do to help out. That meant us kids had to do without for a bit. I’ve never forgotten what that was like. We ate a lot of soup. Maybe that was why I was so puny, eh? But, yeah, as much as I wanted a flash car, I wasn’t going to buy it until I was really ready for it financially.”
“I never knew.”
“We weren’t allowed to complain, and to be honest, we learned very quickly that complaining didn’t change anything. It motivated all us boys to work hard.”
“Your parents must be proud of all of you.”
“I think it’s more of a relief that none of us ended up in jail,” Blake said with a laugh. “Robbie was especially tough as a teenager.”
“I don’t believe it.”
Blake nodded. “Yeah, the neurosurgeon you met had piercings in his ears, nose, and tongue at sixteen.”
“We’re talking about Lulu’s dad, right?”
“Andrew got suspended for hacking into the principal’s computer, and we didn’t own a computer ourselves. He read a book and just wanted to see if he could do it.”
“And to think all three of you have been honored as outstanding citizens of New Zealand at one time or another.”
Blake glanced over. “Only two of us. I haven’t had the honor.”
Neela frowned. “That can’t be right.”
“It’s true. The tech genius got the award first, then the neurosurgeon was honored two years later. The rugby player hasn’t been on that list.”
Neela heard it then for the first time. It was just a slight nuance in his voice, but she recognized it. It was the same insecurity she often felt when she tried to gain her father’s approval, approval he gave freely to her older siblings.
“I’m sorry, Blake. I honestly thought you—”
“No worries. They both earned it.”
Neela decided to change the subject. “Do you remember any of my brothers or my sister?”
“Not really.” He glanced at her again. “I met Rieann last week.”
“She didn’t mention anything.”
“After you went shopping. She made me promise to take you someplace fancy. Why?”
“Ignore her.”
“I don’t break my promises, Neela. You know that.”
Neela sighed dramatically. “If only you would. We wouldn’t be here together if you did.”
Blake laughed. “That’s a fair point. I do remember your oldest brother, Joe. He was a top rugby player at high school, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, he was. Joe taught me the fundamentals. Played provincial rugby for a bit but hurt his knee after a year.”
“He’s in the family business, I hear.”
“They all are. Joe captains one of the boats. Rieann deals with operations and Sam is in sales.”
“Do you see them often?”
Neela looked out the window. “I’m starting to again.”
As eager as she had been to leave her father’s house, she continued to have fond memories of her childhood in the town that sat in the outskirts of the port town of Timaru. It was a safe environment to grow up in. People looked out for one another without being asked. No strangers. Back then, doors were left open, and kids played freely in each other’s backyards. Simpler times.
Neela’s heart tightened. She leaned back and stared through the moon roof, watching the clouds pass by quickly.
Blake didn’t ask any more questions. He kept the music going, and occasionally he would join the singer in a chorus. Again, there was comfort in their silent companionship. Did he know he was giving her time to prepare for the rest of the day?
When Blake turned into the carpark of
the red-brick building, trepidation flowed through her body. Her heart started to beat faster, and she rubbed her palms repeatedly on her dress. She swallowed, wondering whose face she would see first.
They were fifteen minutes early, but already half the parking spaces were filled. The church would be full for today’s service in honor of her father and Laura’s anniversary. The Smyth family had a long history in the community, and her father was very much respected and admired.
Neela spotted her oldest brother’s dark blue sedan immediately. Rieann and Trey’s large SUV was parked next to it. Sam’s Ranger was also there, as was her father’s silver ute.
Familiar faces—part of her past she had yet to revisit—waved in her direction. Were they looking at Blake or at her? No, it was her. They wanted to see her. They seemed glad to see her. Neela swallowed, then forced a smile and waved back. The pounding in her head grew persistent; a rush of adrenaline shot through her body like a tidal wave that demanded that she react. Fight or flight? She knew what she wanted to do. It just wasn’t what she had to do.
Suddenly, she felt a large warm hand cover her clenched fist. “It’s going to be fine,” Blake said softly.
Neela opened her hand and laced her fingers through his. He squeezed it firmly.
Rieann saw them soon after Blake had parked the car. Dressed in a long-sleeved pink sheath with a pearl pendant that matched Neela’s earrings, Rieann held her arms out as she approached them.
“You’re here!” she cried, pulling Neela into a fierce hug. Neela blinked back tears as her sister whispered, “I know this is going to be hard, but it’s important. Thank you. It wouldn’t be complete without you. Mum would be so proud you came.”
Rieann’s continued to smile as she greeted Blake. “Good to see you again, Blake. We’re happy you’re able to join us today, and no matter what my brothers say, you are not required to throw the ball around with them.”
Blake laughed. “I’ll do as I’m told by any of the Smyths. It’s a role I’m getting used to,” he added, winking at Neela.
“The whole town is excited about the commercial being shot at the primary school,” Rieann said as they entered the narthex to the church. “The director’s already put an ad in the local papers for some extras. I might need to take the day off work.”
As her eyes adjusted to the dimmer interior, the first person Neela saw was Malcolm Smyth. Their eyes met for a couple of seconds at most, but it was she who turned away first.
“Fun and games don’t pay well, Rieann.”
“Oh, Dad,” Rieann giggled as their father reached to greet her with an embrace.
Malcolm Smyth commanded a room. Although he wasn’t a tall man, he peered at everyone as if he were. White hair contrasted sharply with his deep tan, and his dark, assessing eyes saw everything. He was conservatively dressed in a white shirt and gray trousers, but his broad shoulders and muscled arms rivaled those of his sons’. He often boasted of his ability to still work on the boats and have his sons keep up with his work schedule.
He loved the sea, her dad. For as long as Neela could remember, he’d reminded his four children that both their past and their future were there.
Except she’d gotten seasick when she was ten and had refused to go on another boat ride ever again.
“Dad.” Neela hoped she was smiling. “Happy anniversary.”
With guarded eyes, he opened his palm to accept her hand as she moved her forehead to his for a hongi. She suppressed the desire to break contact, to move away. This was her father. When had it become hard to touch her own family?
When she felt her father move, Neela turned quickly to face her petite stepmother, whose ash-brown hair was pulled tightly back into a bun. Laura moved hesitantly toward Neela, her arms outstretched for a hug. An unexpected but welcome relief tempered Neela’s rapidly beating heart. She only saw kindness in her stepmother’s face.
“Happy anniversary, Laura. You look lovely.” Neela surprised herself with how much she actually meant those words.
“Thank you. We’re happy to have you here, Neela.”
“And this is my friend, Blake Stanton.”
Neela didn’t miss the genuine look of delight which crossed her father’s face. “Of course! Pleased to finally meet you. I couldn’t believe it when Rieann said you’d be coming as well.”
“The honor is mine, sir,” Blake said, accepting the traditional Maori greeting before shaking the older man’s hand. He repeated the action with Laura. “Congratulations on your anniversary.”
“Thank you. Hey, let me introduce you to some of the family and our friends,” Malcolm said. “We couldn’t quite keep it a secret that someone from the National Team was going to join us today.”
Neela watched her father guide Blake toward a nearby group of people.
“You’re looking well, sis. Smart move, bringing Blake Stanton as your date,” teased a loud voice that came from behind her.
She greeted her oldest brother with a soft punch to his upper arm. “Hello, Joe. Not exactly my idea. You have to thank Mano for Blake being here. And don’t read too much into it! Rieann told me about the pool you started at work. About an engagement? I’d take my money out if I were you. Blake and I are just friends.”
“The way he looked at you when you came out of the car, I think I might just add more money to it,” Joe said with a wink. “We’re going to have a good time today, eh? Like a family. Like old times.”
The Smyths were never ones to mince words. As awkward as the division was between her and her father, her siblings were vocal in reminding her to reach out to them.
“Neela, you look lovely!”
A genuine feeling of warmth came over Neela as a large woman with dark, laughing eyes and a wide smile kissed her on both cheeks before drawing her tight against her ample bosom.
“Hello, Agnes,” she said, her voice muffled by her sister-in-law’s dress.
“Mum, back off! You’re suffocating her!” Neela recognized the voice of her niece, Tanya. “It’s my turn!”
Neela glanced over her shoulder to see Blake watching her. She caught his smile before she was overwhelmed by yet another hug. She could hear Joe introducing himself to Blake, and envisioned her brother shaking Blake’s hand vigorously. “Shitty refereeing” and “Didn’t laugh when you fell on your own ball, honest” indicated Joe’s plans to ingratiate himself with the rugby superstar.
She lost Blake as a mass of people entered the church. She nodded, shook hands, exchanged hongis, received and gave hugs. Faces and voices flooded her senses.
“Where have you been?”
“We screamed so loud when you made it into the Finals.”
“Come over and meet the family, eh?”
Did she say anything offensive? The smiles that danced in front of her suggested she hadn’t.
Then a voice from the other side of the narthex called out, prompting family and guests to begin sitting for the church service. Blake suddenly appeared beside her, offering his elbow as they followed the stream of people who entered the church.
“All right?” he asked.
She swallowed and nodded.
Narrow, clear windows allowed the sun to highlight the rich wooden interior while also enlarging what was, in essence, a small building. The floors must have been refinished recently, Neela thought absentmindedly. Intricate designs on wooden wall panels gleamed, their details —carved by an anonymous artist— were lost at first glance.
She looked up toward the rafters. More complex designs of her culture were engraved in the beams above, unique to this church. Subtle but ever-present, they used to keep her occupied during the long sermons whose bold messages she never remembered.
Rieann caught Neela’s attention and indicated with a nod that Neela and Blake were to sit in the pew right behind her. Sam and his family were already seated, and her brother’s arms were full with her newest niece.
“Everyone is pleased to see you,” Blake whispered as they sat dow
n.
“Almost everyone.”
The last time she had been here was for her mother’s funeral. She didn’t remember much from that day, just lots of birds of paradise in the church, Mum’s favorite flower. Mum loved color, and her family delivered. No one wore black.
Neela didn’t remember the readings, the music, the prayers, or the tears. Try as she could, she didn’t see the color, just the darkness of losing the one person who never demanded but only gave.
Blake nudged her gently when the pastor asked the family to stand up for a special prayer.
“You, too, Blake. You’re family now,” Sam said loud enough for more than a few people to hear.
A warm flush crept up her face. Rieann might not have turned around, but her shaking shoulders indicated she’d heard enough.
This time, it was Neela who slipped her hand into Blake’s as he stood up. His squeezed recognized her offer of support.
* * *
Her palms were sweaty.
She’d thought he’d be put out by Sam’s loud announcement, that he’d been pushed into an awkward position. It was the farthest thing from the truth, but he was going to relish her concern. He’d ignore the rational part of him that warned him not to read too much into such a simple action. He wanted something—anything—from her that showed a change of heart, that she was beginning to realize they were meant to be together.
He wouldn’t tell her he’d turned down a good-paying appearance in Christchurch to be with her today. Nor would he admit that his last thoughts at night were spent wondering what she was thinking. And he definitely wouldn’t share how much time he had been spending on coming up with reasons why they should continue to see each other once the summer was over.
When he felt her hand in his as the pastor offered a blessing for the Smyth family, in a holy place he rarely entered, Blake faced the truth of his presence there today. It wasn’t for a promise, and it wasn’t for the captaincy. It was for the fulfillment of feelings that had started years ago, at a lonelier time when only one person had believed in him.
He loved Neela Smyth.
Even at ten, when his life was full of knocks, scrapes, countless bruises, and endless teasing, he had been able to withstand all of that as long as she was waiting for him at the end of the game. He had loved her then. It was only now, in this house of worship, with words and actions so foreign to him, that he could recognize the truth of his feelings for the woman next to him.
Always You Page 16