by Dana R. Lynn
* * *
Ben felt a shock go through him at the long-forgotten name. Hannah Bontrager had disappeared years ago. And so had her young daughter and his childhood friend, Sadie Ann. Was it possible? Could the woman he’d been assisting really be his friend who had disappeared years before?
Sadie shook her head, eyes wide with confusion. He thought he could also detect a speck of fear in her gaze.
“No, Mrs. Mast. My name’s Sadie, not Hannah. Sadie Standings. My mother’s name was Hannah, though.”
His mother blinked, her eyes still dazed. She couldn’t seem to stop looking at the Englisch woman standing in her home. Her eyes met his questioning. He shrugged and shook his head, confident that his mother would remember that Hannah had a daughter named Sadie. She nodded at him slightly, then returned her gaze to Sadie.
“Ack. Sorry. Of course, you could not be Hannah. She would be my age, not a young woman such as you. Come in.” They followed her into the spacious kitchen.
Ben saw the way her narrow gaze speared him. His mother had questions, and he would be answering them before he was allowed to go to bed.
His father was sitting with Nathaniel when the small group entered the kitchen. The older man’s gaze flew to where Sadie was standing. Although he didn’t exclaim like his wife had, Ben could see the discomfort on his father’s face.
His father, however, was a kind man, and one who took hospitality seriously.
“Benjamin. I’m happy you came home for a visit. Nathaniel here was telling me about your adventure with your friend. Sadie, jah?”
Abram Mast stood and made his way across the room to them.
“Yes, sir. I’m Sadie. I’m sorry to intrude on you like this.”
“Nee, it is never an intrusion to see our son. I am interested in hearing the full story.”
There was no mistaking the trepidation in Sadie’s lovely eyes. To her credit, though, she smiled and nodded to his parents.
“Come,” his mother said, setting a couple of plates on the table. “We have eaten, but there is plenty left.”
It had been too long since he had sat and ate his mother’s cooking. The talk that ensued while the meal was consumed was general in nature. His parents gave him plenty of significant looks, though.
Ben sighed. He was definitely in for a long talk with his parents. They would wait until Nathaniel and Sadie were in bed for the night. Judging by the way Nathaniel appeared to be nodding off at the table, it wouldn’t be long until that happened. He wasn’t surprised when Nathaniel went to bed less than fifteen minutes later. He practically had to carry him to his room. He helped him with his clothes and tucked him in under the covers. Nathaniel was growing so fast. When was the last time he’d needed such help? Smoothing his hand over his son’s hair, he whispered a quiet goodnight.
Nathaniel didn’t respond. He was already asleep.
In the kitchen, Ben found that his parents and a weary-eyed Sadie had waited for him. He wished she could go rest, but he knew her enough to know that she would want to be part of the conversation that had to happen. Knew that in her mind she was somehow at fault for all that had happened. He didn’t believe that. She had been a victim, even more than he and Nathaniel had been. It was made worse by the fact that she had no memories to give her some clarity.
Haltingly, they began telling the story.
“I remember the cave,” Abram murmured, his face pale after hearing how close he had been to losing his son and grandson. “You must have walked five miles today.”
“At least,” Ben agreed. “There was nothing else to do. I know that the man we were being chased by would have found us if we had returned to my home.”
“Do you think he’ll come here?” Esther Mast asked.
Across the table from him, Sadie flinched. He wished he had sat beside her, but knew he was better off where he was. It aroused less suspicion. It didn’t stop the longing, though. Longing that he should not be feeling.
He pushed it aside. He could not become distracted. His full attention needed to be on the current situation. Too much was at stake for him to allow this attraction he was beginning to feel to get in his way.
“I cannot promise you he won’t. But I think he believes he killed us today.” A shudder worked its way through him. “If he had any idea we had survived and escaped, or if he knew about the other exit, I think he would have been waiting for us. Or come after us.”
“I will understand if you don’t want me here,” Sadie said, facing her hosts. “I’m not part of your community. You don’t owe me anything.”
Her face was calm, but Ben was sure her hands were clenched together under the table.
“Ach, you are a young woman in trouble.” Esther’s eyes narrowed in on Sadie’s face again. “But you can’t stay here dressed in your Englisch clothes.”
Ben blinked. Even his father looked startled. Dressing an outsider in Amish clothes was something that was not normally done.
“Mamm?”
His mother nodded. “Jah, you heard me. Tomorrow morning, I will find you something to wear. If you blend in, it will harder to find you.”
Sadie’s eyes filled with tears, but she fought them back. He could see the muscle working in her throat as she worked to control her emotions before speaking.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. But I’m serious. If having me here puts your family at risk, I’ll leave.”
Abram smiled at her, although his gaze was troubled. “Whatever happens, we must remember Gott is in control. Always.”
Whatever else might have been said was cut off as Sadie yawned. Her hand covered her mouth, but she couldn’t hide it. Ben hid a grin as her eyes widened and a blush washed up her face, turning her pale complexion red.
His mother bustled into action. “Ben, you are in the room next to Nathaniel’s. Come, Sadie. I will put you in the guest room on the lower level. It should be comfortable, and you should sleep tomorrow morning as late as you need to. You have had a difficult time.”
His mother was gone with Sadie in a flash, leaving him staring at the doorway they’d just swept through. His father chuckled at his expression.
“Mamm is a wonder. Dat, I appreciate your help. I know that our appearance was sudden.”
“I meant what I said, Ben. I am a little concerned about the attachment I sense between you and the young woman.” There was no judgment, only caution.
Ben sighed. His father had always been observant.
“We are friends, jah? Nothing more. I will not allow it to become more. She is not Amish, although I suspect she might have been once.”
Keeping his voice low, he told his father about the small pieces of memory she’d had.
“If she was Plain, she’s not now.” His father’s words were heavy.
“I know, Dat.”
He left his father a few moments later and made his way up to his room. He stood before the window for a few minutes, staring out into the darkness while he thought about the recent events.
Was Mason Green aware that they had survived? Unless he’d gone back into the cave to check, Ben didn’t think he would have any reason to suspect that his explosion hadn’t killed them. Even if it hadn’t, he was bound to think that they would die buried in the cave. Hopefully he would remain unaware that they had escaped. At least long enough for the police to catch up with him.
If he found them here, there was nowhere else they could hide.
TEN
The next morning, the sun was out, bursting through the trees and lighting up the house as it streamed in through the windows. It seemed incredible that such a gorgeous day would follow one that had been filled with terror and pain.
Ben had gone out before sunrise to help his father with the morning chores. Then he remained outside for another half hour to walk around. He told his father he was going for a walk to enjo
y the uncommonly mild weather. But, in truth, he was really searching for any signs that Mason Green was about.
He relaxed when he found none. Ambling back into the house, he hung his hat up on the rack inside the door and then followed his nose into the kitchen.
His mamm had set the breakfast on the table. Coffee, strong and black the way he liked it, percolated on the stove. Helping his mamm was a pretty woman dressed in a demure lavender dress that fell to midcalf. An apron was wrapped around her slender waist and plain boots were on her feet. A white prayer kapp covered her light brown hair. Hair he had gotten used to seeing pulled back in a ponytail.
Sadie.
His heartbeat was heavy inside his chest. This was not a good idea. How was he supposed to keep the fact that she was Englisch straight in his mind when she was attired in Amish clothing? Even worse was the fact that she wore it with a naturalness that stunned him. There was no self-consciousness as she worked. No fidgeting with the kapp. She did play with the strings that fell past her shoulders, but that was the extent of it.
The feeling that she had once been a member of a community like this grew firmer.
She wasn’t a member now, and once her full memory returned she would go back to the Englisch world. He had to keep that in the forefront of his mind. Otherwise, he could find himself in an emotional bind that would cause suffering all around.
“Sadie! You look like us.” Nathaniel rushed into the room, skidding to a stop at her side. He grinned up at the woman, and she smiled back.
“I know. Would you like some breakfast?”
Like everything was normal. Shaking his head to clear it, Ben approached the table. He did his best to keep from staring at her throughout the meal. It took some discipline. She looked so right standing in the large, open Amish kitchen working next to his mother. It wasn’t hard to imagine her working with Nathaniel on his homework. Or riding in the front of the buggy with him.
Nee. He could not go there. It made the very heart inside his chest ache to know that he must deny himself the pleasure of even considering courting her. It was the way it had to be. He felt guilty, too. The idea that he was thinking of a woman besides Lydia with longing—it couldn’t continue. He knew that his parents wanted him to move on, but they would be disappointed if they knew the direction his thoughts were taking.
He needed to avoid Sadie as much as possible.
He managed to stay out of the house most of the day. When he returned in the late afternoon, however, he saw that Sadie was sitting on the porch steps peeling potatoes. He couldn’t just walk past her. When she raised her hand, potato and all, and waved, he gave in. If he changed direction and went around to go in the back door, she’d know he was avoiding her.
Holding in a sigh, he strode to the porch and sat on the top step, being sure to keep the bucket between them.
“How was your day?”
She grinned. “It was a good day. Your mother is great. She told me some stories about you and your siblings. I didn’t know you have four sisters.”
“Jah. I am the youngest. My sisters have all married and have families of their own. One day, my parents hope that one of us kids will move into this haus. Then they will move into the dawdi haus. That’s the smaller haus over there.” He pointed to the building situated a little back from the road. He pulled something out of his pocket of his trousers and held it out to her. It was her cell phone. “I had this charged at my dat’s shop this morning. I thought since you are Englisch, you should have this. Your brother or the police might try to call you.”
She frowned. Not a scared or a sad frown. More of a contemplative expression.
“Thank you. I wouldn’t want to offend your family by having this, but if you think it’s okay.” She reached over and took the phone. Their fingers brushed. He kept himself from jerking his hand away, but only just. Sadie’s cheeks became rosy. Without a word, she slipped the cell phone into her apron pocket. Then her gaze flicked over to the house they had been discussing. “Dawdi haus. I know that term. That’s the house where the grandparents live. Since you were the youngest, and the only son, I would have expected that you would have moved in.”
He averted his eyes. “Jah. Lydia and I, we had planned to take over the farm. We lived with my parents for a few years. My dat, he is still plenty young to run the farm and his workshop. He’s a carpenter, like me. My brother-in-law is his assistant.”
It should have been him and he knew it. The pain of losing Lydia and their baby girl had been too great to stay here. That and the constant pressure to remarry. He had let the family down; he knew it, but he couldn’t change the past.
She tilted her head, her keen eyes making him squirm. He had left instead of taking over. He had done what he thought was necessary for himself and for Nathaniel, but now he was having trouble dealing with the uncomfortable knowledge that he had made such a selfish decision.
“I’m sure they understood,” Sadie told him, her compassion for his struggle evident.
He started. Had he said his thoughts out loud?
“How do you know what I’m thinking?” he asked her, not quite able to keep the question from sounding like a challenge. It wasn’t that he was angry. He wasn’t. What he was, however, was feeling exposed and vulnerable. He had not opened up to anyone about what he had suffered through when Lydia had been lost to him.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking.” She leaned a little closer. His breath caught. Two inches closer and she’d be near enough to kiss.
Absolutely not. He stood to put some distance between them. She shrugged and began to peel the potatoes again.
“Also, you are constantly looking back at the house. A little line here,” she said, touching the tip of her pinkie finger to her forehead. “I just followed the clues.”
He was relieved. And, he realized, a little disappointed. If she had already known some of what was on his mind, it would give him a reason to tell her. He suddenly needed to talk about his wife’s death. About the agony that had followed them since the day she was diagnosed.
He wasn’t sure how to begin such a conversation.
Apparently, he waited too long. Sadie picked up the peeled potatoes and headed back inside the house, leaving him staring after her.
* * *
What was she thinking, trying to encourage Ben to talk with her about his personal business? So not smart. He was a good man, a man she wanted to consider a friend, but she was not his confidante. She could not be that person. It was hard enough to keep her emotional distance. She knew that he felt the attraction. Or, at least, she thought he did.
But it was absolutely never going to be more than that. She needed to stop herself before she fell headlong into heartbreak and led a good man there with her.
Her pocket vibrated.
What?
She stopped and placed her hand in her apron pocket. She had already forgotten about the cell phone that Ben had handed her earlier. Nathaniel and Esther were laughing together in the kitchen. She didn’t want to disturb them. It didn’t feel polite to pull it out in the middle of the house, so she strode quickly to the room Esther had shown her to and closed the door. Heart racing, she pulled the phone out and unlocked the screen.
She froze. Kurt’s number was on the screen. She had missed the call from him, but he had left a message.
Or someone using his phone had left a message.
Suddenly, she didn’t want to listen to the message alone. Not giving herself time to question her actions, she fled the house and went in search of Ben. If the message was bad, he was the one person she knew could help, the one person she knew she could trust.
Making sure that Nathaniel was still occupied with his grandmother, she stepped quietly out the door. She wasn’t quite sure where she should go to find Ben. It struck her that she should try his father’s carpentry shop first. That seemed to be a lo
gical assumption. Ben was not a man who liked to be idle. Therefore, it made sense that he would have wanted to go and help his father while they were staying with them.
Having a focus, she walked briskly across the grass and up the path to where Abram Mast had set up his shop. When she got to the door, she paused for a moment. Did she knock? Or was it acceptable to just enter? Biting her lip, she knocked softly on the glass pane of the door. She waited. When no one came to answer the door, she knocked a little louder. Almost immediately, the door opened, and she was relieved to come face-to-face with the man she had been looking for.
A little too happy to find him. She felt the sudden urge to walk across the threshold and hug him. That’s when she knew that she was really rattled by the missed phone call. She checked her motion just in time. Rather than moving forward as she wished, she forced herself to take a step back, away from him.
Nonplussed, Ben stopped and stared at her. He had no clue how close he had come to being embraced. She felt the warmth in her cheeks, but decided she had more pressing issues than her near faux pas.
“Can you talk for a moment?” She folded her arms across her middle, striving to keep all her suppressed tension and concern down inside.
“Jah. Wait here a moment.” He turned back and walked to his father. She could hear the two men holding a low-voiced conversation, but it was too quiet for her to understand what they were saying. Sadie grimaced. They were probably talking in Pennsylvania Dutch, the term used to describe the dialect of German used by the Amish. She was almost glad that she couldn’t hear it. It was starting to unnerve her a little bit just how much of the language she seemed to understand. Her brother had given her no indication that she had ever spent any kind of extended time with Amish people before. So where did she learn it?
This was a question she needed an answer to, but maybe right now wasn’t the time to explore it. Her brother needed her.
Ben joined her at the door, then gestured that she should lead the way. She had no idea where they could go.